Oh dear reviewers, how thou hast stolen my heart, and swept away the pain in mine eyes!
Elfluver13- Poor Gimli I really did embarrass him last chapter! Ha ha! But it was funny though! Ha, maybe your family should read the story too!
Domina-Spring- I simply loved your review, haha, and I feel so bad for what happened to poor Haldir, but I just couldn't kill him, he's much too hot for that!
To All Shadow Readers I dub you all wonderful, now, please review!
Eadocce was doing a little hop-skip down the plain, shooting orcs that were within a reasonable distance from her. She was actually smiling and singing and prancing around like a ninny.
"We're here to kill the orcesies, we're here to kill the orcesies, and down Sauron will go! We're here to kill the orcesies, we're here to kill the orcesies, and down Sauron will go! Down, down, where ever the evil go, down, down and he'll struggle to and fro! Like, we're here to kill the orcesies, and bring down Sauron the foe!"
As she ended her tirade, she slammed her sword into a near by troll, who turned around and tried to step on her. She dodged it quickly and did a matrix move and knocked his head off.
"Ha! I learned that one from Neo!" she yelled, raising her fist in the air. She turned to see Gwenel dressed in a long grass skirt brandishing her power rangers' sword with a similarly attired Gimli at her side.
"Twentyah Three!" yelled Gimli.
"Ha, I'm 29!" Yelled Gwenel swinging her sword. "30!" she smiled.
"Oh, oh! I wont have no, Merrah Sue tryin to out beat me in an orc battle!" he roared and swung his axe.
Eadocce noticed an orc creeping up on Gimli from behind getting ready to swing his sword. He turned and made ready to hack it down, but Eadocce had already notched her bow and released the arrow. The arrow landed between the creatures eyes and he fell. Gimli turned around looking upset, and then pointed at Eadocce, "That one!" he called, "Counts as mine!" he roared.
It was only a few more moments before the battle was ended and the army of the dead was on Eadocce. She looked around her, as Aragorn stood by her side, Legolas came out of the mist and Gimli and Gwenel joined her. She looked at the Army, which looked quite menacing.
"We have kept our promise, now you must keep yours!" The Leader's voice rang out, only as a ghost's voice could, leaving a chill in the air.
Gwenel knocked Eadocce's arm with the hilt of her sword and yelled at the girl, unfortunately, her yell was also a shriek. "You Butt! We were supposed to wake the dead, not like, you!"
Eadocce smiled and turned to the Leader. Gimli inched forward his axe clutched in his hands, "Why do they look so… angry!" he asked.
Gwenel slapped him across the forehead, "You dwarf! Are you like, thick in the head too? Like the line is, Like, 'Bad idea. Very handy in a tight spot, these lads, despite the fact they're dead.' Pfft, like, duh."
Gimli looked affronted, and then opened his mouth to say something, when Eadocce turned and smiled at the King of the Dead.
"Then I shall up my end of the bargain, lets us make our way to that table!" So she went to the table and sat down on the box that Gimli had moved earlier. Magically, sharpies and pictures of Eadocce appeared on the table, and Gwenel gapped at the Dead lining up. She promptly marched over there and glared at Eadocce who had begun passing out autographs. One soldier leaned in and looked at the picture.
"Can you make it out to Beleg? Yes, with love x-o-x-o Mary Sue Eadocce, thank you." He answered, smiling and then walking away.
"Like, they want your autograph?" Gwenel whispered furiously.
"Yes," she answered talking to Gwenel, then turning to the ghost before her, "Can you make this out for the handsome Eoger?" She nodded and signed the picture.
So a few hours went by as the army of the dead received autographs and Eomer looked around for his uncle and other soldiers that still lived. He found his sister, Eowyn on the ground and thought her dead, he yelled and screamed and cried, and Gwenel finally went over to Eomer and pulled him to his feet.
"Eomer, relax. She's like, not dead. Aragorn will save her, lets go." She took his hand and walked over to Aragorn who sat on the ground looking at a map, she cleared her throat and he looked up at her.
"Eowyn has been injured." She announced, "She needs to you heal her." She smiled, leading both men back to Eowyn and Aragorn dropped to on knee picking her up and walking toward the city. Eomer followed him closely. Eadocce on the other saw this, and quickly released the souls of the dead army and then ran toward Aragorn.
"Gorny!" she called, linking her arm through his, "where are you going?"
He looked down at her and smiled, "To the white city, and to take Eowyn to the healer's wing." She nodded, smiling, but still followed along.
Once in the white city, they saw Gwenel standing with a torch in her hand and Denethor was running around in circles on fire. Gandalf was holding Faramir back from the girl and yelling at her. Pippin was running around screaming something about the Shire and mushrooms. It was quite the chaotic scene. Eadocce grabbed a bucket and flung it toward Denethor but then changed her mind last minute and the water ended up on Faramir.
"I kill her! She's burning my father alive!" Faramir yelled. Gwenel still holding the torch walked over to him and slapped him.
"Like, aren't you supposed to be like, falling in love or something?" she said indignantly. Faramir stare at her blankly.
"Like, with Eowyn! Duh, like, she's in love with Gorny, who's like in love with Eadocce and like, also Arwen, and like, Eadocce is like, in love with Haldir, who like, doesn't even want anything to do with her cause like, he's in love with me, but like, I'm in love with Leggy-poo…" Faramir cut her off quickly
"…who is like in love with someone else, right?" he questioned, perking an eyebrow.
"Like, no, me and leggy have like, no part in this love triangle. I mean like, rectangle. I mean like, octagon. I mean square…err… trapezoid. Like, whatever." She rolled her eyes as Eadocce came up to her and then slapped her.
"Like why are you burning Denethor?" Eadocce snapped.
" Cause like in the movie he like caught fire and like, ran off the cliff! And like he wouldn't die when I like told him to die! And like, its going to screw up the story!" She cried.
"Oh, like we have to push him off." Eadocce grabbed his coats as fire caught on her white dress, and Gwenel grabbed the other side of him, as she caught on fire, and they unceremoniously dragged Denethor to the ledge. Faramir was screaming against Gandalf who was trying to hold back Faramir and grab the girls, Pippin was running around screaming something about 'For Frodo!' and Aragorn and Eomer were running around trying to see if they could find a healer.
Denethor succumbed to the Sues and fell, or was pushed over the ledge. Then Gwenel turned an evil eye on Faramir and took out her bow and arrow. Chaos ensued again as she let the arrow loose and Aragorn dove for cover, and so did Eomer and Pippin brandished his sword and Gandalf again tried to hold Faramir back. It was really hysteria.
Faramir was shot in the calf, and fell to the ground.
Eadocce stepped closer to him, dusting off her robes and smiled, "Well now the storyline is like, somewhat close the way it was supposed to like, be."
Gwenel nodded, "Yes. Eowyn is injured like she's supposed to be…"
"And Faramir is injured like he's supposed to be…" Eadocce said
"And Denethor is dead like he's supposed to be…" Gwenel smiled.
"And Frodo and Sam should be on their way to Mordor like they are supposed to be…" Eadocce agreed.
"And all in the world is alright, like it's supposed to be." Gwenel sighed.
"So really, we're all men of our words, except for Elizabeth who's a woman." Eadocce laughed.
"Like yea!" Gwenel laughed.
Everyone stood up looking at the girls, as Faramir was dragged away, and Eowyn was carried away. Shock washed over them.
The girls pointed toward the throne room and smiled, they all convened there, all being Aragorn, Eadocce, Merry, Pippin, Legolas, Eomer, Gimli and Gwenel.
A/N: I enjoyed this chapter. Here's the disclaimer.
Disclaimer: This is for a non-for- profit website. Any references to Pirates of the Caribbean, Power Rangers, Snow White, The Matrix and the JRR Tolkien estate is solely for entertainment purposes. I make no money! Happy Reading!