Standard disclaimer

Wow after three weeks of having the chapter worked out in my mind and in notes I'm finally getting to this chapter. Don't know why I couldn't work up the drive to work on this story, I spent last few weeks on pet projects. Hope you enjoy it after the long wait.

X-X

Anata No Ichiban Ni Naritai

Chapter 18 – What I have to say

Akito's mind simply couldn't comprehend what Ruri had just said to him. After the previous nights intimacy Akito was under the impression that they were to be together again. Sure Ruri said she had to keep the farce of being Nakushita while on the Nadesico but was certain he could live with it. But sitting in the provided bedroom that the Amatsu allowed them to share, Ruri dropped the proverbial bomb on him. His voice hollow and dead, "You're what?"

It took all of Ruri's emotional control to keep her face from breaking. She couldn't handle the pain and betrayal on Akito's face. "I said last night was a mistake Akito. I was too caught up with the events of the past few days. We can't be together like that again Akito. I have too much going on to risk having a relationship like this." Her back mind chided her; yeah she had to keep him at a distance because it would change him. It would alter things and it would keep him from acting. Akito being in a real relationship, even if hidden, would raise questions about his changed character. Yurika would start to look deeper into his actions, and then she'd be found and that would be it.

"But I…we…I thought you loved me Ruri," Akito said. His usually passionate voice was dull. His eyes large and vacant, dolls eyes. All the pain of thinking her dead was replaced with a brief period of anger then filled with all the love he had for her. Now she was saying it was a mistake, an emotional decision made without thinking about the repercussions. "How can you say that Ruri, how?" His voice started to rise as disbelieve and anger rolled over him in waves.

Finally taking her eyes away from Akito's Ruri couldn't take the unasked accusation, 'don't you love me anymore?' She did, the last nights shared love had been something Ruri couldn't describe, yes it still hurt her physically, but emotionally Ruri could barely contain herself. That was before Akito contacted the Nadesico, then the reality of things washed in. "I have responsibilities Akito, Inez and me have a lot of work to do, and I can't be tied down by a relationship. I'm sorry, so sorry about what I've done to you but it has to be this way."

Finally the dam broke and Akito doubled over, drawing his legs to his chest and sobbed. Ruri had succeeded in bluffing him about her motives. She, in her moment of doubt, wondered if it was worth causing him this pain, was her life and the hope to survive long enough to the point she could be with him freely, was it worth it? Would he take her back if her younger form went back into the past and she was assured she wasn't in danger anymore. She ran her hand through Akito's hair, "We can…still be friends…to an extent. We just can't be together Akito I'm sorry." How sorry she was, Akito could never know.

Getting to her feet, Ruri walked away from Akito before her own tears were shed, she could feel them brimming behind her eyes just waiting to fall, but that would ruin the illusion she was making. Shutting the door to the room where her most cherished memory had taken place, Ruri leaned her back against the door just soaking in Akito's sadness. 'I'm a terrible woman. I take his love, rub it into his face, and take it away from him. I was so weak that now he'll undoubtedly hate me. I would if I did this, but if I am deemed to fade away, if things have changed and I'm not destined to live, I'd hate for him to go through that.' Ruri's motives were clear, Akito had thought her dead once, what would happen if it happened again. If they were a couple in reality, sharing happiness, sadness, good, and the bad only for her to fade away, not die but fade away. "It would hurt him more."

The next thing Ruri knew was she felt a sheering white pain across her face and her vision had changed from her feat to the left hallway. "You bitch! How could you do that to that nice man!" Ayumi screamed in Ruri's face. She had heard the noises the night before, and while she knew Akito wouldn't see her that way it still hurt. She cried herself to sleep that night, but now she had heard what transpired between the two of them while her parents were gone. "He loves you and you don't care! How can you be so heartless!" Ayumi's hand wound back and backhanded the still stricken Ruri who offered no defense or rationale, in hindsight Ruri thought she got off easy as Ayumi rushed off again.

X-X

Her heart was beating quickly in her chest, she was giddy. Megumi couldn't wait to see Akito again. When he told her not to follow him when they forced him to leave, she felt almost betrayed, until he told her why. 'He thinks he's not good enough for me, that I deserve better,' she squealed lightly as she pulled her big stuffed bear to her chest. He couldn't have been more wrong. Megumi would prove to Akito just how wrong he was once the Nadesico picked him up off of the moon. Pushing the play button again, Megumi was determined to watch all of Geki-ganger. 'If he likes this show so much I'm going to like it too!'

Megumi couldn't place why Akito was so desirable in her eyes, he just was. He was polite to her, treated her like a woman, but he seemed so sad and detached. While he was cute he wasn't the most attractive of men, but neither was she the most attractive woman. 'But I'm not going to let the captain have him, she doesn't see him for a person but as who he used to be,' she thought. The intro started and drew her mind away from why she wanted to be with Akito. For as corny as the show was, it was actually entertaining and from her past work as a voice actress she was slightly amazed by how good the voices were done.

Leaning back against the wall Megumi just watched the episode with a content smile on her face, imagining the time when she wouldn't be watching it alone. Checking her watch as the screen faded for the mid-episode break, she noticed it was time for her shift. "Well once we pick him up I'll tell him how I feel," her voice lacked conviction as she saw Yurika doing the same. Walking her small player, Megumi was about to push the stop button when an unexpected voice yelled out.

"Don't stop that tape!" the voice was unmistakably male but the sheer desperation. Turning towards the voice, Megumi's eyes widened in shock and she fell to the floor. Her largest stuffed bear, given to her as a bonus from one of her jobs working for a children's show, was now ripped into pieces as human limbs ruptured their plush counterparts. "That's episode 27, it was lost for ages!" The mutated bear rushed to the television, picked it up, and pulled it away with him back to the wall. "I never thought I'd live to see it."

Back peddling Megumi forced herself against the wall and reached blindly for anything that could be used as a weapon. "Who are you? What are you doing in my room?" Her fingers wrapped around a book edge and held it out like a shield. So far her intruder had done nothing but watch her television as if it were divine doctrine. Her initial questions met with silence she continued to force her bum across the floor until she reached a corner, she never wished for Akito to be with her more than at that moment. "What are you going to do to me?"

The bear's head turned its gaze onto Megumi, a sight that would have given any child nightmares for months, and set the television back down. "I'm terribly sorry ma'am. But I need a place to hide until I can escape. It was never my intention to harm or scare you." Pulling the bear mask off, Megumi's voice caught in her throat, what she was seeing couldn't be possible, Guy had died but this man looked exactly like him. Extending his still plushied hand to Megumi, "Can I assist you in anyway for causing you this discomfort?"

Shocked by the sheer oddness of the past few minutes, Megumi allowed the man that looked like the dead pilot to help her off the ground. She didn't miss the apprehension and hesitation in his moments, or even the blush on his face. "Who are you?" Megumi finally was able to ask after getting to her feet.

Having spent so little time with an actual woman, and referencing all of such to the Jovian template for womanhood Miss Nanako, Tsukumo Shiratori was all pins and needles. His body was ridged and unmoving. Standing at full attention, which while dressed in his normal gear covered in bear parts bleeding stuffing was enough to cause Megumi to laugh, Tsukumo saluted. "Tsukumo Shiratori of the 3rd Jovian assault force Ma'am."

'Jovian! He's a Jovian? But aren't they…didn't the military say they were lizards?' Megumi thought as she fought back the giggles that threatened to escape her mouth. "Stand down Shiratori-kun, no need for that." The man let his hand down yet still looked uncomfortable in Megumi's presence; it was oddly cute in the sheer queerness of it. "You said Jovian didn't you. Can you tell me more?"

Tsukumo didn't want to divulge military secrets to the enemy, but it was a woman! And women are supposed to be treated like the fragile and beautiful flowers that they were. So as Megumi sat down, her shift forgotten, Tsukumo started on destroying everything Nergal and the UN Spacey had told them about the Jovian menace.

X-X

Yurika could feel Erina's gaze boring into the back of her skull, feel the hatred and anger radiating from the woman, and she loved it. She knew that the Nergal woman had ulterior motives for being aboard her ship and it was Erina that had put Akito in danger. So by keeping her front of vacant stupidity up, Yurika was making Erina's life a living hell. "So I was thinking that after we get Akito back we could all go back to that we could all go for some shore leave," she said while placing her finger to the side of her mouth.

Snapping the pen she held in her hand, Erina about screamed. "Captain, we have orders to defend the lunar base now thanks to the new Jovian offensive fleet discovered!" She couldn't understand how somebody so stupid could have been given the rank of captain. 'Must have slept her way up the ladder or had her daddy help her.' To put matters simply Erina was disgusted by the mere presence of Yurika.

"But Akito just had such a life threatening experience, I don't think its right to put him on the front lines again," Yurika said in full honesty. After seeing him vanish and thinking him dead for all of three hours she was determined to keep him as far from the upcoming battles as possible. Nakushita would be doing Akito's fighting from now on. He would stay on board the Nadesico despite Jun's claim that since Nergal forced Akito off once it was against regulations to let him stay on. Husbands were given special accommodations.

Before Erina could speak her retort a small voice broke through the coming argument, "Captain, Miss Reinard hasn't reporting in for duty yet and the lunar colonies should be contacting us about airspace regulations soon." Ruri wasn't trying to pay attention to the women's debate about Akito, but she hoped Yurika won. Something about the odd man struck a cord with her, he'd helped her and respected her. Her heart warmed at the thought of him. "Should I call her quarters to inform her about her shift?"

A slight sneer crossed Yurika's face, Megumi was a problem that she didn't want to think about. Desperate women make rash choices, she'd hate to walk into Akito's room to find Megumi forcing herself on him. "Minato, we're on auto-pilot until we reach the five hundred mile marker correct?" Yurika turned from the platinum haired child to the surely looking helms woman.

Minato wasn't happy with her current situation, her last relationship was staring at her. Damn men and there egos would be the death of her one day she suspected. "That's correct captain," sensing Yurika's intent Minato almost thanked the woman, "would you like me to go and collect her?" She was already getting to her feet as Goat, at hearing a security report fled the room.

"Thanks, Megumi's been acting very unprofessionally, Ruri make a note of this in her record, we may have to seek disciplinary actions on this." Yurika smiled at Minato as she walked past her and Erina. Yurika knew about the failed relationship between Minato and Goat and was sympathetic towards the woman.

Stomping her foot at being ignored, Erina's eye twitched violently. "Captain are you even listening to yourself! We're receiving updates of Jovian activity on the lunar surface and you're worried about what the comm. officer is doing? I know you're obsessed with Tenkawa but that doesn't give you free reign to ignore a crisis!" Erina's arms pumped upward with each accusation of the captain's incompetence. What was so special about Akito that warranted such attention from so many? 'Sure he's attractive and willing to help, but even Akatsuki is more attractive.' But at thinking of the chairman killed Erina's internal debate. Where most men were domineering Akito was supporting, he wasn't interested in just sex and control, and he was actually a good guy. Her face warmed as she realized that she was looking down dangerous roads.

Turning to face Erina at her rather bold expression, Yurika's face as a total mask, devoid of emotion, she addressed her co-captain. "I'll thank you to leave my relationship with Akito out of this. You are simply trying to cover your own involvement in dangerous human experimentation. Don't let yourself think that I don't know it was partially your fault for what happened to him." Stepping closer to Erina, Yurika's voice dropped to a near whisper. "If he had died you'd have found your reception aboard my ship to have been even more hostile than they were, so please don't threaten me."

The smug look of control slipped off Erina's face faster than gas caught fire. The dopy yet happy captain had just threatened her and knew of her involvement with boson testing? How had such an airhead learned such things. Yurika was just keen on observation and had watched the tape of Akito vanishing constantly from the moment it happened until Akito called her. The box he had been holding had a Nergal symbol on it, and the contents of said box was the factor that lead to his disappearance. Finding it hard to speak, Erina gasped for air as she took sever steps back, "Yes c-captain, I'm sorry."

X-X

Her mind was in a whirl as she pushed the filled laundry cart down the vacant halls of the Nadesico. What Tsukumo had told her about the true origins of the Jovian's was at odds with what the public had been told that Megumi didn't know how to accept it. She doubted what would happen to the man if caught, but still felt bad about helping him. 'What if he comes back and kills somebody I know, he is an enemy.' But he was also a man in trouble and was lied to just as much as she. She'd help him for now. Whispering into the mess of sheets and clothing, "We're almost to one of the transports, do you think you can pilot it?"

Surrounded by women's clothing and bedding was making it very hard for Tsukumo to think straight. Added to his bizarre form of escape was learning that the vile earthlings also watched Geki-Ganger was a shock. "Yes Reinard-san, but could you hurry I'd not wish to cause you problems." And he really wanted out of the lacy confines.

Megumi's back shivered and she came to a complete stop as she heard a yell from behind her. "Megumi there you are! You're supposed to be on the bridge twenty minutes ago. We're almost to the moon and need you to talk to the base about hostile air zones." Minato ran up to the near trembling communications officer and put her hand on Megumi's shoulder. "What are you doing laundry for at this time of day anyway?"

Megumi just looked at Minato and down at Tsukumo with blank eyes, haunted eyes, thief's eyes. She had been caught with her hand in cookie jar and now she had to find a way out of it. "We…w-w-w-well…yo…you see I um…" her voice was so broken and her stutter so bad that Minato quickly deduced something was wrong. Following Megumi's line of site Minato saw what it was, a man was hiding in the basket. One she hadn't seen before and Minato's stomach iced over.

The stare the two shared over the body of the hiding Jovian pilot was broken by a squad of security officers lead by Goat. "Minato, Megumi have you seen any strange men around here? The captured Jovian mecha had a pilot and it seems he has survived and is now on the ship." While he spoke to both women, he was looking only at Minato. He had offered her everything, a nice home, money, and even a better job but she had snuffed him.

Sensing the drastic change in the situation, Tsukumo opted it was now time for him to take action. It was a cowards way but he had to get his new knowledge back to his compatriots. Leaping out of the basket he wrapped his arm around Megumi's throat and pulled her body close to his. "Sorry to do this to you women but you'll have to come with me, and you'll let me take a transport or I will kill them." He wouldn't but he needed a bluff or the security men would fire upon him and likely kill the women in the process.

X-X

"So here I am again, piloting," Akito's voice echoed in the cramped confines of the labor mech he was piloting. Lying on his futon in the Amatsu's home waiting for the Nadesico to pick him up, his depression was rudely interrupted by massive shockwaves hitting the small building followed by cries he pilot to protect them all. He hadn't seen Ruri since their talk earlier that day, not that he wanted to see her anyway. What would he say that he hadn't already? She was leaving him again, but at least she was alive.

Cursing in frustration at the clunky movements of the mecha he was in, Akito never wished he was in his Aestivalis more than right now. "Show yourself you coward!" his call sent out over the external speaker. Taking several more slow steps forward, Akito felt himself stumbling forward at an unexpected blow to the back, his words had worked in calling his enemy to him. "It IS a Geki-Ganger," he said to himself.

"Die filthy human!" roared from the Geki-Ganger type mecha as it launched its hand out towards Akito's cockpit. Quick thinking and combat instinct overpowered Akito's hero worship of the mecha as he forced himself to parry the blow. He would have escaped the blow had he been in his Aestivalis, but Labor was slower and larger. The attack smashed into his left side breaking off the arm at the elbow joint. As his opponent attack left him shaken, Akito saw an opening as his opponent had yet to recover. Using the broken yet sharp left arm, Akito threw his body towards his enemy. It was a suicide move anyway one looked at it, Akito didn't care much for living at that moment anyway.

The Jovian pilot banked a moment before it was too late and the shredded elbow slammed into his unit's unprotected midsection. Immediately afterward emergency klaxons sounded inside his cockpit, massive system and power failure. The leg units were locked into position as power wasn't being provided, if he wanted to move he had to boson jump. "Impressive human, but can you stand against the might of our Jovian might?" as angry as he was at being bested so quickly, the pilot was thrilled. A worthy opponent was a hard thing to find.

Not favoring to respond, Akito's mind had hazed over in a suicidal madness. "GYAA!" was his reply as he reeled back his unit's non-injured hand for another attack. All of Akito's pain, rage, and remorse was fueling his desire to die. He launched attack after attack at the teleporting mecha, finding most of his attacks either only landed a glancing hit or missed completely. "Why must this happen to me so much! Why can't I have happiness! Why? WHY?" He cried loudly as he continued to attack.

"Akito!" Yurika's voice broke in over his comm link. She had heard his frantic pleas and she was torn again. Megumi and Minato were being held captive by the fleeing transport that was heading towards Akito's position. The lunar defenses were soon to start firing all around him and the escaping shuttle as a Jovian battle fleet was on the move. She could end the battle though, fire the gravity blast cannon and kill them and save Akito, but he'd never forgive her, or himself. "Akito it's Yurika on the Nadesico. A Jovian pilot kidnapped Megumi and Minato and is approaching your location, stop them, save them."

'Megumi!' Akito's blinding rage bled away instantly at Yurika's communiqué. Wiling his mecha back to a legitimate fighting stance he scanned the surroundings. His opponent had yet to re-materialize, in the distance he could see the approaching shuttle. He tried to establish contact with it but failed. "I won't let others suffer! I don't want to suffer!" Rushing headlong at the oncoming shuttle the missiles from the lunar batteries started to fly by. He paid the approaching death no mind as he eyed his target.

"A..to t's Me..mi you have…not enem..." Megumi's voice filled his comm channel full of static. He tried to make out what she was saying but was to preoccupied by not being killed by friendly fire. He saw the shuttle try to bank away from him, but doing a move he had seen on Geki-Ganger he tricked the shuttle into his arms. "Akito! You have to let him go! He didn't mean anything!" Megumi's voice now clear due to the lack of distance.

Holding the shuttle with his good arm, Akito dodged more missiles flying towards an oncoming Jovian fleet. "But I can't let you go with them, I don't know what's going on but I won't let you two die for it!" Megumi's face light up with a bright smile, she'd gotten through to him. It was her face that nearly got Akito killed that day, as he listened to her tell him about Tsukumo and his predicament, the Geki-Ganger type appeared right before him and punched Akito's unit in the head sending him and the shuttle to the harsh lunar surface. Holding the shuttle protectively, Akito ushered a quick demand to the captive women, "tell him to tell that pilot to stop!"

Megumi nodded and her face vanished from view. Moments later the Jovian mecha stopped its assault. He then saw the shuttles door open and a spacesuit clad Minato and Megumi climb out and onto his unit's hand. "Let my compatriot go human." Akito nodded and watched as the shuttles door shut and the Jovian mecha picked it up. "You're a worth opponent human, might I know your name?"

Insuring the women were safe, Akito looked at the Jovian pilot and understood him. Had he cared more about his life at that moment maybe he would have acted more defiant, but at that moment Akito didn't care. "Akito Tenkawa." The man smiled at him and cited Geki-Ganger line for line. 'If we had met under different circumstances maybe we could have been friends,' then the shuttle and mecha teleported away. Akito could only think, 'or maybe you'd betray me too if we'd met differently,' Ruri was clearly in his mind as he walked back towards the Nadesico Megumi and Minato in tow.

X-X

Inez expected a lot of things to happen when she saw Ruri back on the Nadesico. She thought she might have to knock before entering or she'd see Ruri and Akito together, possibly a happier Ruri, not a sobbing wreck of a girl lying on her floor. Rushing into the room after shutting the door, "Ruri, what the hell happened, Akito didn't do something to you did he?" As radical idea as that sounded Inez couldn't think of anything else that could have caused such a breakdown.

Wiping away tears as they fell down her cheeks, Ruri couldn't staunch their flow. "No…no…it was me. I told him it was a mistake that it shouldn't have happened." Inez took a guess at what Ruri had meant, and was right. Wrapping her arms supportively around Ruri's waist, Inez pulled the fragile girl to her bed. "He- he hates me Inez…" she crushed her head against Inez's chest tears falling unabashed Inez's shirt.

"Ssh…shh, Ruri tell me what happened, why did you do it?" Inez asked as she stroked Ruri's hair and made small circles with her other hand on Ruri's back. There was no 'hello', no 'life is perfect', and no joking at Ruri's and Akito's lost innocence on the lunar surface. 'Life sucks.'

Holding Inez like a drowning man holds a life preserver Ruri tried to form words to match her thoughts. "I told him it was a mistake, that I had been to emotional at being seeing him. Told him that I can't be with him, have more important responsibilities." Taking a moment she pulled herself away from the warmth of Inez's bosom to look her in the eyes seeing the questioning look there-in. "I saw how my 'death' affected him once, I don't want him to go through that again if I fade away." But just thinking of the broken look on his face bought her own grief back as she started crying again.

Inez didn't know what to say. From a scientific and unattached viewpoint Ruri had been right. Akito had taken her 'death' hard and nearly broke due to it, if he had to go through it again suicide might not have been un-thought of. Shushing Ruri and making comforting sounds she just rocked the woman and said that everything would be alright. But would it? Inez doubted it. Ruri loved Akito, Akito loved Ruri yet from what Ruri did she doubted Akito would still be there for her if things went well for them in the future. Love can only take one so for and if one feels that love is unrequited it won't stay for long, not with so many others offering it. "It'll be ok Ruri, you'll see, everything will be ok."

She just didn't know how or why.

X-X

Author notes.

Yeah I'm sure you're a little pissed at having Akito and Ruri back together only to have this happen, but don't worry, I plan for a good ending. And it's just for now too. I have good reasons for his, and well I hope you have faith in me and my idea for the future of this story.

Be assured that things only get dark to get bright again. Darkest before the dawn so to say, and this story is actually nearing its end. Not to many chapters left until the finale. Thanks for staying with this so long and hope you enjoyed it despite the darker tint to it, last few chapters have been to waffy anyway. Oh and sorry for grammar mistakes this time I wrote it fast and posted it before I gave it to my pre-readers.

Ja Matta

Zentrodie

Tsukumo Shiratori