Chapter 8: Not a Bennet
"Eat, Lizzy." Charlotte said, looking at her friend's distressed face.
Elizabeth sat in the breakfast parlour with mixed emotions. She had hardly slept the previous night. Everything about her future looked uncertain.
"I am unable to think about the consequences of my action." She said, with guilt.
"I do not think you had a choice."
"I have ruined the reputation of my family and my sisters. Just because I know the truth now it does not change my affection for them all these years."
"How could you even think about their welfare? They tried to ruin your life." Charlotte cried with anger.
Elizabeth was silent.
"I need to find out about my mother. I cannot accept their accusation of her character. My uncle must be aware of what happened. But why have they never disclosed anything to me I have a good bonding with my aunt." She said in confusion.
"It would not be difficult for me to find their address. You can meet them once they return. I feel Mr and Mrs Bennet are not divulging the truth."
"I cannot stay here till then."
"Well, we spent half the night arguing about your decision to work. I will not force you to stay here if that is what you prefer. I have already written to some acquaintances about a suitable position for you."
"I understand your concern for my well-being. But I want to start a new life and support myself." She said with resolve.
Charlotte understood Elizabeth's reasoning.
By dinner, they were surprised by the arrival of a servant from Longbourn.
"Do not worry, Lizzy. I will handle it." Charlotte said.
She met the servant, and it was Mr Hill.
"Good morning, Mrs Davis. I was sent here by Mr Bennet."
"Good morning. It is good to see you. May I enquire on what matter?" Charlotte asked calmly.
Mr Hill hesitated for a second.
"Something alarming has happened in Longbourn. Miss Lizzy, is missing since yesterday morning."
"Good Lord!"
"My master has sent me to enquire whether she has come here."
"I do not understand. Why would she come here? Are you telling me that she ran away?"
"We do not know, Madam."
"This is alarming. If you cannot find her in Hertfordshire, then please report her disappearance and get the help needed to find her. I don't understand why you are here."
"But she is your good friend, and my master thought…"
"She is, and I am her well-wisher too. But I don't think she would dare to come alone to town. She has never been here. I cannot tell you how worried I am about her welfare. How can she suddenly disappear? Did something happen at Longbourn?"
Mr Hill knew about the proposal from Mr Collins. He knew that it was the reason Elizabeth was missing. But he did not say anything.
"I do not know, Madam."
"Well, you are wasting your time here. Please tell Mr Bennet to take help from my father and find Elizabeth. I am truly vexed by this news." She said, and Mr Hill left with worry. He had truly hoped he would find her in town.
Once he left, Elizabeth joined Charlotte.
"Poor, Mr Hill. He has a genuine concern for my welfare. I had to stop myself from rushing into the room and explaining everything."
"I know. But we cannot be careless, Lizzy. I think nobody except Mary should know about your whereabouts. At least till your aunt and uncle arrive."
"I hope nobody else comes looking for me. I think the sooner I leave here the better. I am certain my father might come looking for me."
Meanwhile, in Longbourn, Mr Bennet was agitated by the information from Mr Hill.
"I thought she would be there. Now, where is she? What am I to do now?"
"I knew she wouldn't be there. She is a coward. I think she is lying dead somewhere. Good riddance. All these years we took care of her for nothing." Mrs Bennet said with spite.
"We will be shunned amongst our acquaintances."
"We must think about a story to go with her disappearance."
"What can we say?"
"I want to slander her reputation and declare she ran away with some servant. But that will affect our daughters. I wish we can tell everyone that she was not born to us. But then we have to explain so many details about the past."
"Let us tell everyone she ran away to the Gardiner's. Nobody would even bother to check about her whereabouts in town."
"Won't people ask why she did that?"
"I will handle it. If she is not already dead, I will definitely kill her if she steps into this house again. Oh! By now she could have married that man and left us. I wish she had died along with her mother." She cried with spite.
Her husband said nothing.
Mary was disgusted by the way her family behaved. None were bothered about Elizabeth's disappearance.
"Listen, girls, this is what we do. She is not at Charlotte's place. We do not know where she is. But we will tell everyone that she ran away to Uncle Gardiner."
"But they are not in town." Kitty said.
"I know. But no one knows here."
"But Mamma, people will question us as to why she ran away." Jane asked.
"Let them assume whatever the reason is. If someone asks me, I will handle it. But this is the story, stick to it."
"Oh! I have always had a feeling that she planned to shame us in some way." Jane said.
"She gave me advice on improper conduct and to see what she has done. Maybe she ran away with someone in Meryton. She visits the bookstore often. Maybe someone there." Lydia said with sarcasm.
"Enough! That is enough! She is our sister and you have no concern for her welfare? I do not think you have any right to question her decision. Tell me, Lydia, would you have married Mr Collins or run away?" She asked with anger.
"Stop it, Mary. Go upstairs. That chit has horribly influenced you."
That night everyone went to bed at Longbourn, mentally prepared to erase Elizabeth away from their memories forever. Mrs Bennet was still angry and knew they had to suffer because of it. She hoped Jane would make a fortunate match despite the happenings.
Everyone slept except Mary. She lay in her bed crying, missing her sister and hoping fervently that she was safe.
A couple of days passed. Elizabeth was restless despite assurance from her friend that everything would turn out all right.
Charlotte heard back from her friends about the position Elizabeth was looking for.
Several references came through, and Charlotte was satisfied with one family in town some distance away from the hustle and bustle.
Elizabeth and Charlotte were to meet the family that evening.
"There is something I need to discuss with you before we leave." Elizabeth said.
"What is it?"
"I don't want to be Elizabeth Bennet anymore."
"I don't understand."
"I need to have a different name, Charlotte. I don't want anyone to find out that I am working in London. It would be very easy for them to trace me if I bear the Bennet name."
"What if they do? We will not allow anyone to harm you. Your family has no right over you anymore after they declare that you are not their own daughter. Do not be afraid, Lizzy."
"I know. I know you will protect me. But if something like that happens my chances of finding another employment are very remote. I don't have the disposition for such feuds anymore. I want to live a life without any attachment to the past. I need a new name."
"So, you do not want to be a Bennet."
"Yes!"
"All right. The purpose is not to attract any attention to your identity. We can call you Elizabeth Smith. Ms Smith. How does it sound?"
"I find it suitable. But what am I to say to my employer about my relations?"
"I don't see a reason why you should declare all the horrid details that happened to you in your home. You are on your own now, maybe we can just say you have an aunt in town, but you want to support yourself by working. Lizzy, I think it should not matter."
Elizabeth gave it a lot of thought. She knew she would not be welcome in any house if she revealed the details about the past. But she hated to be dishonest.
What choice do I have? She thought.
"Do not feel guilty about anything. Your family is the one who should feel shame and guilt. You must be proud of your willpower and resolve to live a life on your own terms. I am proud of you, Lizzy. I don't think I would have had the courage to free myself from such a situation."
Finally, Elizabeth agreed that she would work under the name of Ms Smith and nothing would be revealed about her past.
They met with the family she was to be employed with.
Her employer was Mr Brook, who lived on the outskirts of town. He and his wife Mrs Tracy Brook had two young children, a nine-year-old boy, and a seven-year-old girl.
Elizabeth was apprehensive about the meeting, but the couple was kind and friendly.
"Adam is a very obedient child. Clara is the naughty one. Our previous governess was not accommodative of their needs. We do not want them to appall learning but enjoy it. Have you had any experience before as a governess, Ms Smith?" Mrs Brook said.
"I do not, Madam. But I have experience teaching younger ones, my sisters." She paused. "My distant relatives."
"You say do not have any family."
"You are right. Except for my aunt."
Elizabeth felt guilty for hiding many details about her life. She looked at her friend with distress. Charlotte gave her a reassuring look.
"We cannot make an immediate decision. We will be interviewing some more references for this position. We will inform you within a week."
Charlotte and Elizabeth left their home with hope. Elizabeth liked the family. She thought she could start a new life.
At least till Uncle Gardiner returns, I think I should be able to work here, if they offer me the position. She thought.
Within a week, Charlotte received a letter from Mr Brook offering Elizabeth to join as the governess.
Elizabeth was happy with the news.
"I cannot believe it. I am so glad they are giving me this opportunity. Thank you, Charlotte. I am certain your friend put in a word for me."
"I hope you will be happy and safe there. I would never be able to let you leave if you were to go far away from us." Charlotte said.
"I will be."
Within a couple of days, Elizabeth left to join her employment. The friends bit a tearful goodbye.
You deserve a better life, Lizzy. I will pray for you every day. Charlotte thought as the carriage sped away.
At the same time Elizabeth's carriage left, another carriage entered a townhouse on the opposite side of town.
Darcy entered his house without excitement. He did not favor town. He had left Georgiana in Ramsgate with a companion he hired.
Maybe I should have brought her along. But the sea air should be better for her health.
He sat in his study and wondered why he always felt out of place in town. He hated any social engagement. He found it difficult to be in the company of any woman whose intention was to impress him and capture his heart.
He lay awake that night for a long time unable to sleep. On the other side of town, Elizabeth did the same. She lay awake repeating the same thing over and over.
I am not a Bennet anymore.