DISCLAIMER: I don't own rights to glee or it's characters.
I look down at tmy phone for the third time since Sam and I sat down.
Caller ID: Matt.
God, it's as if Jane invoked him.
"Is everything okay?"
I look up at Sam and wonder for a brief second about how he would react if I told him that I have been dating a guy for the past few weeks. The reaction probably wouldn't be good. No. Sam can't find out about Matt.
"Sorry, just work." I frown. "I forgot I needed to extend my days off" I realize.
Today was my last day off from the little vacation so I make a mental note to call today. I'm lucky I rarely miss work so I have a lot of sick hours accumulated, enough to have the next few days off and still have more left.
Sam reaches for his cup of coffee. "Where do you work?"
"In a bank" I pause. "I'm a manager.
He raises his eyebrows. "And how is it? Do you like it?"
"I do, actually. I like the schedule and I have some pretty decent coworkers," I say as I use the fork to cut a piece of pancake and put it in my mouth.
"So you've been in Arizona all this time?"
I nod. "Yes."
"You know, it wasn't until you left that I realized I didn't know where your mom lived."
I look at him. "Well, we never visited her. She always came here, remember?"
"We should have," Sam says slowly. "I know part of the reason we never did is because I didn't have time."
"I never held it against you, Sam," I say sympathetically. I really didn't. I married a medical student who had a career waiting for him in his father's clinic. I knew what I was getting into and I respected what Sam did too much to resent him for it. Did I like it? No. But I didn't blame him and still don't.
"I didn't know where to look for you." He continues thoughtfully. "I realized I didn't know much about your family...about you."
"I'm sorry," I say quietly.
He chuckles dryly. "Dont apologize. I wasn't a good husband to you. I guess I got what I deserved."
"Don't say that," I say placing my hand on top of his. "What I did to you- disappearing like that.." I shake my head as I take my hand off of his and place it on my lap. "It's unforgiveable. It wasn't the right way to handle the situation. I'm so sorry."
"Yeah, well I think I'm to blame too," Sam says after a moment.
I look down at my food, which suddenly doesn't look as appetizing as it did a few minutes ago. Silence takes over our table and we sit there and finish our breakfast with the chatter of people talking around us, like two strangers.
~~~
The tow pound is open when we get there and as we walk into the office, I begin to panic. I don't know how much it's going to be. I have been spending money all weekend and I can only hope that I have enough in my credit card.
The last thing I need is Sam thinking I'm not financially stable. I have been doing pretty good for myself. Way better than I was three years ago. It's nice to have my own job and my own money. It makes me feel more fulfilled, something I didn't feel before I left.
Sam and I sit in silence as we wait for the car to be released. I play with my keys as we wait while Sam checks his phone.
"Your car is ready," The man behind the computer finally calls in a bored voice.
Sam and I stand up and walk to the counter while the man clicks something on the computer. "It's 468.1."
I sigh silently in relief as I reach for my wallet. I have enough, thank God. But before I can take out my card, Sam takes out his wallet and hands the man his card.
"Sam, what are you doing?" I hiss as the man processes the payment.
"Taking care of my wife" He says casually as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
I purse my lips and don't say anything while the man hands Sam his card back with the receipt. "Have a nice day," He says sounding like a robot as Sam and I head outside.
"Thank"
"Stop." Sam interrupts me.
"Sam, that was my expense. I can afford it."
He stop and turns to look at me. "Would you just let me take care of you for a second"
There is anger in his voice and I don't say anything, not wanting to start a fight outside the tow pound. There aren't people around us but there cars passing down the street. I can see my car parked a few spots next to Sam's. I'm glad to see it.
"I'm sorry," Sam says as he runs a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean to yell-I just-I've been feeling useless for the past three years. Not knowing where you were, not knowing if you were okay, if you needed anything. Mercedes--" He takes a step forward and places his hands on my arms. "I'm your husband and it's my job to take care of you. I want to take care of you."
I nod as I look into his green eyes. "Okay."
We look at each other for a moment and I notice just how tired he really looks. He did sleep last night so I wonder if it's his job that is stressing him or if maybe it's just the burden of seeing me again. Sam has always been a very handsome man. From his strong jaw, to his misty green eyes and perfect lips...his Adam's apple made him look even more manly and intimidating. His eyes wonder down to my cheeks...down my lips...
I clear my throat. "We should go."
He nods. "Right," He says as he takes his phone out and glances at it. I notice he has a few notifications.
"Sam, if you need to go to work, please go. I feel guilty thinking of sick children not being treated because of me."
He half smiles. "They're not always sick, you know, most of the time they're just check-ups."
"Still." I smile. "I promise I'm not going anywhere."
He glances at my car, hesitating.
"Here, give me your phone," I say extending my hand and he places it on my palm. "I'll give you my number and you can call me to check in whenever you want," I say as I save my number on his phone then give it back to him.
"I don't know, Mercedes, I don't have much time with you. I don't want to waste it."
I smile at him. "I know how important your job is to you. Just go and do what you have to do. I'll be fine."
He nods slowly. "Okay. You remember how to get back to the house?"
"Yes,"
He hesitates for a moment. "If you need anything
"I'll manage." I reassure him.
"Okay." He repeats, nodding as if trying to convince himself that this is a good idea.
You traumatized the poor guy.
Jane's words repeat in my head over and over. Maybe not traumatized, but Sam doesn't trust me anymore and it's my fault. I don't blame him. Sam has always been a confident man and I realize that I cracked a hole in his confidence.
Without thinking, I put my arms around his waist and bury my face in his chest. I can tell I caught him by surprise but he puts his arms around me and holds me tightly.
"I'm not running away, I promise." I whisper after a moment. "Jane wouldn't let me anyway, until we go to her tour." I laugh as I pull away, trying to ease the tension.
Sam smile, showing me his straight white teeth. "Okay. Guess I'll see you later then."
"You will." I promise.
He hugs me one more time and then kisses my cheek before heading to his car I force my legs to do the same and I watch him drive off before I get in my car.
I sit in the driver's seat for a moment, feeling the tingling of his lips against my cheek. I shake my head with a smile. I feel like a teenager with a crush on the popular guy. I am a married woman and that man is my husband. We have done way more intimate things than a kiss on the cheek, yet that embrace and that kiss felt-special.
Maybe because I've missed him more than I allow myself to admit.
It was easier to pretend I wasn't married back in Arizona, it got easier as the days passed. I knew that if I ever saw Sam again, I would be back in square one.
And here I am.
I don't know what we are doing. Can we fix this? Fix us? Would I move back to California?I love my job and I worked so hard to keep my mother's house together.
If I come back, it would feel like taking three steps back in my life.
Yes, I've missed Sam more than I allow myself to admit but I don't think I can come back...yet I don't know if I can just walk away again.
I have no idea what I'm going to do...
MERCEDES IS DATING SOMEONE, WTF
The fear Sam has of going to work and leaving her is so sad. I feel for him. I also feel for Mercedes because you can tell she loves him but her fear from what ever his mother did and what she think will continue to happen is what's stopping her from opening up to Sam.
But don't worry they'll get it together.
Do yal think Sam is going to find out about this man she's dating??? Let me know.
Please excuse any grammar errors that may occur.
Please continue to review... until next time lovely's, xoxox...