Jude took a deep breath before she said, "actually, I won't be doing Your Eyes, because I have a new one." She knew she should be nervous or at least afraid of what Georgia was going to do to her once she heard Skin. It was a great song, one of her best, but to play it without approval wasn't good. But Jude was beyond caring. Georgia had told her she had a chance to get everything out, well here it was.
I drift away to another kind of life
Take away the pain I create my paradise
Shay, Tommy and now her father. Three of the four most important guys in her life and they all disappointed her. They all hurt her. Some of them so bad that she didn't know if the pain would ever go away.
Everything I've held has hit the wall
What used to be yours isn't yours at all
Falling apart and all that I'm asking
Is it a crime, am I overreacting?
Shay had been the first to screw up. If it wasn't bad enough that he would cheat, he had to go and hook up with Eden. She didn't want to sound like a drama queen but she was her worst enemy. And then to do it at her sixteenth birthday party, Jude would never forgive him for that.
Oh, he's under my skin
Just give me something to get rid of him
I've got a reason now to bury this alive
Another little white lie.
Then Tommy had to go and make everything worse by kissing her. He was so hot one minute but then he went so cold the next. And then demand she forget it ever happened. Like she could ever do that. That mistake was the best mistake of her life. And if he couldn't see that or feel it, then maybe she didn't know him at all.
What you had didn't fit
Amony the pretty things
But never fear, never fear
I now know where you've been.
Finally, her father. Her hero, the one man she thought she could count on. He'd always been there for her. Bought her, her first guitar. Was there for her first concert, it may have been on their front porch but still, he'd been there. She'd always thought he was the perfect dad. But she soon came to find out that rarely anything is what it seems. That he could cheat on her mom, at their home, on their couch. Jude didn't know what to do about that. She could be angry, and she was. She could cry, which she had. But she didn't know how to get passed it. Or if she could.
Braids have been untied
As ribbons fall away
Leave the consequence
But my tears you'll taste.
She'd cried buckets of tears since everything had happened. She would finally thing she was done and then low and behold, another shoe would drop and more tears would flow. She'd always thought Sadie was the emotional one in the family but this past week, Sadie had really stepped up. She'd become what Jude had never allowed her to be, her friend and big sister.
Falling apart and all that I question
Is this a dream or is this my lesson.
Jude turned and caught a peek of the TV right next to her. They were showing her video with Shay. She wanted to yell at them to turn it off. She was sick of watching it. It was in her past and she wanted it over. But as long as the drama was going on, the video would play.
Oh, he's under my skin
Just give me something to get rid of him
I've got a reason now to bury this alive
Another little white lie
She didn't even look to her left side. She knew Tommy was standing over there with Georgia and she didn't want to even aknowledge him right now. He was probably over thinking he'd broken her heart and this song was all about him. She use to think his cocky attitude was so attractive but lately, she was sick of it. She liked it when the real Tommy showed himself but after that kiss, she didn't know if he would ever show again.
I don't believe I'll be alright
I don't believe I'll be ok
I don't believe how you've thrown me away
I do believe you didn't try
I do blame you for every lie
When I look in your eyes, I don't see mine.
Her father, standing off to the side, with her mom leaning on him. He just stared at her, with eyes full of turmoil. She knew he was sorry, she knew he regretted it. Maybe not the affair but he regretted the way she found out. Jude knew he was frantically trying to find a way to fix this but he couldn't. There was no easy fix for this. He was going to have to tell mom and face the consequences.
Oh my permission to sin
You might have started my reckoning
I've got a reason now to bury him alive
Another little white lie.
Jude was done letting everybody decide her life for her. Shay decided it was time for them to be over so he ended it. Tommy kissed her and then decided he couldn't handle it. And her father decided to cheat and then expect her to hide it from her mom. But she was done. No more, everybody was going to start atoning for their actions.
She walked off stage and relaxed when Georgia congratulated her. She wasn't ticked off, that was at least one part of her headache that could be dropped. She was almost their, her dressing room. Her sanctuary, the one place where she could shut the door and everybody could just go away for a little while. She had put so much of her into that song and she wasn't ready to face anybody yet.
"Jude," Tommy said before she could shut the door.
"What do you want Tommy," she asked glancing at him from the corner of her eye. He looked so good and she just wanted to wrap her arms around him but he wouldn't allow it.
"I love the song, not quite the way I wanted to inspire you," Tommy said slowly.
"You think that song was about you?"
"That doesn't matter. I just wanted to say how sorry I am and that I never meant to hurt you," he started but Jude interrupted him.
"You know what Tommy, a lot of people have been saying that and I'm sick of it. If you didn't mean to hurt me, then why did you?" Jude asked beginning to get really angry. She could feel the tears start and she didn't want him to see her cry.
"Jude-"
"Get over yourself Tommy," Jude said quickly. "Not everything in my life is about you."
She slammed the door shut and locked it. She made it to the couch just as the tears started to fall. She was falling apart again and there wasn't one person there to hold her. To tell her everything would be okay. She hated feeling so alone but maybe that was the real life of a star. Loneliness.
She jumped when she heard someone knocking on her door. "Tommy, go away."
"Jude, it's dad."
Jude stared at the door for a minute before she walked over to the door. She opened the door a crack and stared at the man she called her father. He looked the same but she knew that he was really a stranger. He wasn't the man she remembered.
"Honey, I really liked," he started but stopped when Jude started to shut the door. "Okay, what do you want me to say?"
"Nothing," Jude said honestly. "To me anyways. I don't trust anything that comes out of your mouth. But I do want you to take mom home and tell her the truth. Because I will if you won't. I don't like cheaters."
Jude once again shut the door but this time she didn't lock it. She turned off the light and walked back over to the couch. Georgia would be by to get her later and right now, all she wanted to do was lay down and shed a few more tears. Because God knows, that's the one thing she'd become good at. So while everybody walked by her dressing room, nobody heard the sobs coming form within. Loneliness. It really was the story of Jude's life.