My Readers,
My computer is a senior citizen with mental disabilities. So I've been writing things on paper and typing it when my computer would cooperate. If you are reading it, please review your thoughts, even an "I am reading your story" would be good. I just want to know how many people are actually reading this. Thanks
A/N: I had a suggestion to put in the pronunciation of Kagome's servant, Kienskae. I hope this is helpful, it is said like "Keen-skay." (lol I feel stupid writing like that)
Disclaimer: (Me thinking) 'Hmmm I wonder what happens if I do this...I own InuYasha. What I didn't know you guys were in my thoughts too! Ah noooo...PLEASE DON'T TAKE ME THERE AGAIN! He's not mine, no matter how many times I think it!'
Chapter 4
Unreal
Kagome came strait up to InuYasha and glared in his face. Her face was full of an unknown darkness, a darkness never seen in Kagome before. Kagome's eyes were as cold as ice, and her expression clearly wished him a painful death.
"Ka-Kagome?" InuYasha stammered. Was Kagome possessed? Or was it by Naraku's strings that she was being pulled? InuYasha was having trouble picturing how Kagome could get into any of those situations.
A slight breeze stirred in the air as the clouds shifted overhead. InuYasha took his eyes off Kagome to see the sun being blocked out. That's when he noticed it. It was Kagome's scent...It wasn't radiating from her skin like usual. Even as the breeze shifted in the air, all he could detect was Kagome's stale scent left here from before. Nor did he feel that hidden rush of excitement he normally felt when Kagome was in his presence. Actually, he realized, he couldn't even sense Kagome at all.
Only half conscious of what he was doing, he reached out a hand to touch Kagome's face. He watched, not noticing that it was his own hand reaching out to caress her face. The only thing that drove him was that capsule of hope telling him that maybe, just maybe, the angelic feel of her skin would awaken him from this nightmare...
InuYasha watched as the hand shook slightly as it approached Kagome's features. Everything was still, it was as if the very forest itself was waiting for the simple touch. As soon as InuYasha was sure his clawed hand should have brushed her cheek, he found his fingers closed around nothing. Every attempt was the same, the touch of her skin kept evading him. The hanyou's bewildered look was enough to set Kurotama off again.
"So you've finally noticed," Kurotama sneered at him. Her eyes sparkled with knowing, she was clearly enjoying this little game.
"What have you done with the real Kagome?" InuYasha demanded, voicing his thoughts aloud. Surely this was just some sort of illusion. The true Kagome must be locked away somewhere.
"I'm afraid this is as close to the real Kagome as you can get," Kurotama saw the triumph flicker in InuYasha's eyes, he clearly though he'd outsmarted her. Oh, that would make her victory much, much sweeter.
"This is only a spirit sending," Kurotama said in an off hand tone, taking her turn to smile in triumph. By the look in InuYasha's eyes he knew what this meant. Kurotama smiled meanly knowing this next part would crush him. She knew that this would be the part that would break the hanyou beyond repair.
"Kagome has sold her soul to Naraku!"
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"It's quite simple really," Sesshomaru said smartly. "That wretched half-breed didn't save you."
He looked at Kagome curiously before continuing:
"I did."
Kagome's breath hitched in her throat as she stared at the youkai lord without really seeing him. Flashing before her eyes were the images of the rescue, and her brain could not comprehend Sesshomaru as her savior. It was like trying to put a puzzle together with all the wrong pieces.
"But...InuYasha," she whispered desperately, forgetting a certain demon lord could hear her. The only thing going through her head was 'InuYasha didn't save me, InuYasha didn't save me.' Kagome found she was once again loosing herself in the black pits of sadness waiting for her.
oO View change Oo
Sesshomaru watched intently to gouge Kagome's reaction. He found himself waiting on edge for her emotion towards his rescue. The demon had no clue why he cared so much of a mere miko's, a mere human's, feelings. All he was doing was trusting his instincts, and that seemed to be his smartest plan.
'I am just curious about human emotions because they are new to me,' he reasoned, 'I am only doing this to complete my knowledge.' Despite this, he still needed to understand what impulse made him reveal that he saved her...but he'd deal with that later. Right now his curiosity must be satisfied.
"But...InuYasha," Sesshomaru heard the breaking tone in Kagome's voice. She needed InuYasha.
The Inu-Youkai felt an odd emotion at the mention of InuYasha's name. It was something like anger...anger at InuYasha for occupying her thoughts. Why should he care if the filthy half breed was on her mind? Now a million more questions buzzed in his head. What is this feeling? Why does she think of InuYasha so much...?
Sesshomaru put a weary hand to his head. 'Damn this curiosity,' Sesshomaru snapped in his thoughts, 'What is this girl?'
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Kagome's mind was frothing, thrusting images at her she didn't want to see. InuYasha's look of pain, of anger, of betrayal...All directed at her. It was all too much for her in her frail state. Unknowingly, Kagome's mind switched to lighter memories, the silver hair swimming just out of her grasp...The burst of joy in her heart at InuYasha's forgiveness...The secure feeling of being locked in the stone grasp of her savior's arms. Those embracing arms could not have been Sesshomaru's. For such an embrace immense passion was needed, an undying love that would never waver from her. Searching through her knowledge of the demon, he just didn't fit the part.
Kagome needed InuYasha badly. She yearned for the comfort of his amber eyed gaze and calming voice. All she wanted was to bury herself in his red hiaori and cry. Cry about how badly she missed him and how sorry she was for whatever she'd done. Truth wouldn't have to matter, she'd take all the blame if it meant to be in InuYasha's arms once more. The embrace at the rescue scene felt like home to her. Now she must return.
"Sesshomaru?" Kagome's speech was shaky after her thoughts. He looked so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice Kagome's disrespectful address to him.
"What?" he answered irritably, angered this human had disrupted his thoughts. Even though it was the same human he was thinking about...Sesshomaru was drawn out of his pondering as Kagome shuffled her feet, embarrassed, before her chocolate eyes turned to him again.
"Gomen for the interruption, but I have decided to return to InuYasha," Kagome stated. A second later she was wondering why she even told the demon lord. It wasn't like he cared if some human was leaving his palace. For all she knew he was glad to have the 'inferior human' out of his sight. On the end she decided to tack, "I am grateful for your hospitality."
Sesshomaru watched as she gracefully walked away to the main entrance, or in this case, exit.
"I truly did save you," Sesshomaru said unthinkingly. He hoped she hadn't heard him. Curse that girl, he always said things too quick around her. His innermost thoughts came rushing out in her presence. He decided to just let her go, she was only a human. Things could only get better without her. Sesshomaru let out a small sigh as he walked to his chambers.
"Just let her go," he repeated under his breath.
Though he ignored it, he was still aware of the voice in the back of his head. Though small, the voice carried power. He couldn't push it out, he could still hear the small voice whispering,
'I can't.'
(Wouldn't that be a nice place to end? You're lucky I'm in a 'that would be just plain mean' mood.)
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Kagome looked up into Kienskae's warm eyes for what she thought would be the last time.
"Please," she whispered softly, knowing he'd hear her, "Take me to Kaede's...to InuYasha." The clawing desperation in her voice was clinging on Kienskae's heart but he knew he shouldn't do it.
"My lady," he said gently, hoping his words would soothe her, "he is the one you cry about in your sleep. Surely you do not wish to go to one who causes you such pain?"
"Kienskae," her voice shook as she spoke, "InuYasha is not the cause of my pain, it is myself. I am not good enough for him, or anybody else. I pain knowing I live when I'm not good enough for life. Yet my existence hangs on seeing his face. Please, understand this!" Kagome looked on the edge of hysteria as she begged him. Kienskae wasn't sure he could take it if she broke down crying again.
"Never say such things about yourself!" Kienskae spat. Then in a softer tone he began, "You're worthy of everything this world has to give. If anyone deserves to live it's you." He looked at her softly and took her hand. "You're better here with us milady."
At first Kagome was struck with happiness of how Kienskae perceived her. The warmth had spread to her toes when she realized what staying here with this happiness would mean.
No InuYasha.
This would not do. Kagome thrived off InuYasha. She had to go to him and that was final.
"Kienskae," Kagome was pleased to hear how much authority rung in her voice,"I command you take me to InuYasha." As she watched him, it looked like something had just clawed him open and ran away with his heart. His eyes were pained, looking as if he'd just watched a love one being murdered. Or as if he had done the murdering himself. Kagome was overthrown with sorrow that she'd been so firm with him, but InuYasha was a matter that could not be ignored.
Kienskae's eyes were then void of all emotion. With the dead look hanging in his eyes he murmured, "As you wish." Though it clearly sounded like he wanted to lock her here so she wouldn't leave.
Kienskae refused to meet her sorrowful gaze as he walked over to her. Gently, as if afraid he'd break her, he slung Kagome on his back. As he walked to the balcony he felt a small wetness forming on his back.
"Do not cry milady," murmured Kienskae, still with a hint of his dead stare in his voice. Kienskae regretted every move he was making away from the castle. This was not good for Kagome...This was not right.
"Forgive me," Kagome whispered, the silent tears still streaming down her face. She was surprised to see the sun was all ready setting, yet dull gray clouds obscured it's beauty.
Kienskae stared ahead as he started running, cursing himself for being so weak. How could he just take her away from the castle, knowing only pain awaited her? It took all his strength to resist the temptation to whisk her to the castle, to home, where he know she'd be safe and happy. With every step Kienskae seemed to be moving farther and farther away from himself, until there was no remorse left. In his heart he knew he must bring her back, but this is what she wanted.
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As InuYasha remembered Kurotama's words he freed himself from his memory. He couldn't stand another second of Kurotama's uncaring face or of Kagome, sweet Kagome, all dark and cold. When Kurotama spoke those words he didn't want to believe them...but he had to.
InuYasha remembered charging wildly at Kurotama, his eyes starting to gleam red. He was losing control as he kept becoming more and more enraged at her. Kurotama merely side stepped his attacked and summoned Kagura. Immediately the witch appeared on her feather and Kurotama jumped on.
"Killing me won't change what Kagome has done. You know a person can only appear as a spirit sending if they have sold themselves to Naraku!"
The truth of her words hit InuYasha like a weight. He wished he could deny her and defend Kagome...but he couldn't. She was right.
InuYasha didn't cry now as he sat in the God tree reliving his hell. It all seemed to continue passing over him as if he was stuck in time. The purity of the old Kagome seemed so far from him now. Why did he keep messing up? Why did Naraku always find a way to make his loved ones betray him? InuYasha stared blankly at the patterns in the bark, unfeeling and unthinking. He suddenly realized Kagome was Naraku's best weapon. Tricks and strength could hurt him, but knowing Kagome was there made him get back up and fight. He'd die for her fighting Naraku, resting peacefully knowing Kagome was safe. Naraku liked to make his victims suffer, but InuYasha was impenetrable. Now Naraku has broken his barrier. Kagome had done what Naraku never could have. She had shattered him beyond repair.
-:-:-:-Reviews-:-:-:-
Kyasarunyume07: Thank you, thank you. Well it's here...not "soon" but here! I had to do the copy and paste thing with your name because I couldn't switch back and forth to check spelling, my computer is too slow. Lol.
liza: Thank you so much for your nice review! It's nice to know people actually like this!
Tiara Miranda: I'm glad to hear I'm stirring up the suspense. Although it's probably not fun for you to be wondering when I know whats going on, it's really fun for me! Lol.
Julia: Oh I've got something much better planned. I almost told you guys something really important at the end here...but I'll save it for next time ne? Thanks for saying my stories not boring...sometimes I'm not sure about it myself...
VampressKiss: Does yours break every week too?
amishamj: As you can see, our hanyou finally realizes it. Lol.
Youkai99Angel: Hi! I only our great Sesshomaru could be cute like that all the time...But don't worry...he'll be back next chapter!
CallaRose4Ever: You can see why they didn't consider any other option in this chapter. Well, ya finally found out what she did...but in a way this creates more of a mystery doesn't it? Thanks for your comments!
OoO
Kagome: Ooooo! You guys got something good cooking for next chapter!
InuYasha: Yea you'll never believe Sesshomaru (muffled noise)
Sesshomaru: Why do you always try to tell them you filthy half breed?
InuYasha: (Angry outburst) Mfff Muff MFF MMMFFF!
Kagome: I think he might die from lack of oxygen by how hard he's trying...
Sesshomaru: I will kill him if you people out there don't review. (InuYasha's eyes go wide and his arms start flailing)
Kagome: What's that he's spelling? R...E...V...I...E...W...Ok, he wants to live so I guess you guys should review!
BL: What will Kagome do? Where will Sesshomaru fit into the plot? Why did I randomly come in here at the end? Two of these (idk why I came here) and more will be answered on the next thrilling chapter of Tears Sought After!