2/16/06

Happy Birthday, Midnight Snack.

Disclaimer: Rallalon does not own Tales of Symphonia. Nor does she own any of its characters, places or items.

.-.-.-.-.-.

There being no remaining seats, he stood beside his father, inescapably in her line of sight no matter who Alicia looked at. To be honest, there was nowhere in the room he could have sat or stood where she would've have seen him, save behind her.

Alicia would definitely have freaked out more, had he stood there.

"What have I missed?" the younger Bryant asked the older.

"It would seem that the findings of our friends are authentic," the duke replied, studying Vharley instead of looking at his son.

Even without looking at him directly, it was clear Regal was extremely perturbed. Vharley and the professor showed no sign of taking notice. "We know this?"

"As I have said before, if you doubt, you can witness the results yourself," Adien insisted. "I assure Your Grace that this project is worth supporting, in both terms of funding and volunteers."

"So you assured His Grace a decade ago," Regal countered smoothly. "We've yet to see any concrete proof."

"Our progress --"

"Has yet to produce an improved Exsphere," El Presidente Senior interrupted, his tone taking on an impatient edge.

"Duke Bryant," Vharley began, "if I am not needed here, I must be going. I assume that bringing this matter to your attention..."

"Is irritating, but acceptable. Don't do it again." It was much the same tone he had used to greet Regal, if somewhat more severe. "Feel free to excuse yourself."

The fat man did so and Regal took his seat. Resisting the urge to nervously make sure her pigtails were still in order, Alicia immediately resumed looking through her folder. She couldn't let him see how much he still mattered to her, couldn't give him back the ability to rule her emotions.

In the meanwhile, the professor continued. "We've found that our best results have come from those closely related." He turned to Alicia with a pleasant expression. "This being the case--"

"No."

Alicia was so startled at his tone that she actually looked at him. And then she blinked. Regal had gone from calm to threatening within seconds. Firm, commanding, and just short of glaring at Professor Adien, he was downright hostile. Sitting next to the object of that hostility was not a place Alicia wanted to be at that moment.

Or ever again, for that matter.

"Your program has received funding and a volunteers in the past," Regal went on. "Our company has received in turn empty promises and apologies for the death of an employee. Another such exchange will not take place."

Despite looking reasonably cowed, the old man didn't stop arguing his case. "Pardon my saying, but the program was under a different administrator at that time."

"We will," El Presidente replied. He didn't sound impatient now, just tired with this business. "However, until you can convince us that we do not face similar risks as in our previous venture..."

"I assure Your Grace that the process has been greatly improved upon, and I am certain that he recalls the death of Miss Julia Gallo to have been declared a suicide," Adien replied just as smoothly.

A suicide? Julia Gallo... Julia Gallo... Where have I heard that name before? Alicia couldn't recall a face for the life of her. Maybe it had been someone she'd only heard about. The last name was more familiar than the first. Did she know anyone called Gallo? She had the irritating feeling that this was something that she was supposed to know.

The professor continued as Alicia pondered. "The process changes and the volunteer would be a completely different person with, as I've been informed, a brighter and more resilient personality. The risks are much smaller and the potential gains much greater."

Did Melissa mention her once? Angel feathers, I know I know that name from somewhere... Wondering about this was far better than focusing on where she was, or thinking about what would have happened had Adien been the one to leave.

The Bryants spoke on top of each other, one slowly stating, "This will be taken into consideration", the other stressing "The answer is no." The older looked at the younger who refused to look back. The front they were displaying was not a united one, and even Alicia knew that it looked bad.

Three main facts had been learned today. First, Exsphere experimentation was much more dangerous than it was presented as being. Second, Presea might be in trouble. Third, it was possible to really tick Regal off.

Was he angry because he thought her threatened? Or would he act the same for anyone? Much could change in a year, even Regal's patience.

Though that would be pushing it.

And why had he arrived late? Had he simply been doing something else, or had he been trying to avoid her? Or had he been trying to make things more comfortable by allowing her to get used to the three already in the room before adding the complication of himself?

Or had he simply not known she would be there? Had he known and tried to make it seem -- or make it clear -- he didn't care?

Of course, the danger about thinking about a person while that person was in the same room, was that the one thinking tended to end up staring at the one thought about. In turn, the one thought about would usually stare back at the thinker out of confusion, irritation, or something else that could fit into that situation. The thinker would realize with a sickening lurch of the stomach what was going on and would usually look away out of embarrassment. As clearly shown in the present situation.

Alicia refused to drop her gaze, though she tried to make it as casual as possible. In short, not very.

Regal had always had more than one way of looking at her. There was the approving look, the amused look, the look that meant she was supposed to ignore something, the curious look, the half a dozen looks that made it very hard not to be touching him in some way, the puzzled look, and so on. This one was more of a "What are you doing? What are you trying to do?" look.

Eventually, he glanced to the man sitting next to her and back, then did so again. Alicia realized belatedly that the professor had been talking. "—without Your Grace's leave to do so. Miss Combatir," he said, turning his head to look at her, "our offer stands to you and will for several years, I would imagine. You have information on how to contact me when you do accept." Both Regal and the professor glanced to the folder.

"Would I be able to speak with my sister about it before making any decision, professor?" she asked quietly and politely, the generic voice of a servant. Accepting was unlikely, but a chance to talk to Presea was a chance to talk to Presea.

Adien blinked and paused for a moment. "Perhaps it would be best if you consulted with someone... unbiased."

Alicia nodded as if that was a real answer.

Professor Adien smiled, saying, "There's a good lass."

Regal tensed.

El Presidente gave no sign of noticing anything unusual and said, "If that's all, you'd best be moving, Adien. I've several other matters requiring my attention today, or George will never let me hear the end of it. Regal can accompany you out. Miss Combatir, you're dismissed as well."

Alicia rose quickly, folder in one hand, and curtsied. All she had to do was make it to the elevator, she told herself. If she made it to the elevator, she could leave and she'd be safe. She had completely forgotten to reckon with the nature of elevators and the nature of a human's inability to wait for another one when there was already one there.

Professor Adien was the last person she would have thought she'd be glad to be in an elevator with. All unwanted feelings toward the third member of the group could be pushed off in exchange for wondering about the intentions of the second for the short ride. The relief Alicia felt when the doors opened was infinite.

As was the terror she felt once it was clear Regal wasn't following the exiting professor.

The idea of claiming some errand on this floor, of going after the professor to ask about Horace, of doing anything never crossed her mind until very short good-byes had been made and the doors closed once more. Alicia had thought a lot about Regal. She had just never thought of lying to him.

The doors closed. Alicia remained turned towards them, Regal behind her at the controls of the elevator. Too close. She refused to look at him.

Regal immediately began making use of the time the short trip offered. "Don't do it. If you accept, you give them control over you. If they insist you go to the academy, you would have to. No matter what Adien says, you can't know how the Exsphere will affect you."

"I wasn't going to." Alicia was surprised to find that she had no trouble speaking.

"That was not how you made it appear," his words said. "Liar," his tone called her.

"It never hurts to be polite, Mister Bryant." She hadn't seen the insult until after she'd said it, but she wasn't exactly compelled to amend her statement. "I was hoping I'd be able to see my sister and then decline. If they're not going to allow me any contact with her, then she has to be in trouble. If she's in trouble, then it's from the experiments, and if that's the case, I would have to be some sort of oblivious child to accept." She didn't feel compelled to amend that statement either.

"All the so-called proof they've offered us is based on your sister. If they don't want anyone here coming into contact with her, they must be lying about their results." No one had ever made Alicia feel so stupid with just two sentences. Regal seemed to know it, too.

A thousand daydreams, a hundred different scenarios, millions of possible things to say: Alicia had thought of practically every situation they would see each other again. If he wanted her back, she knew what to say. If he just wanted to be friends, she knew what to say. If he wanted nothing from her, she knew what to say. If he was angry with her, she knew what not to say.

Alicia made no reply, having never considered arguing over Exspheres and her sister in a small elevator.

"That being the case, it's likely that she's fine."

She wouldn't show him how much of a relief it was to hear him say that. "What are they claiming?" If they could stay on this topic for three more seconds...

"Increases in strength, mental ability, and longevity for your sister. A change in color for the Exsphere."

"...Longevity?" How could they measure that before Presea was old? A seventeen-year-old didn't look much different from a girl a year or two younger.

The elevator stopped, arriving at Alicia's floor. The doors didn't open.

"She supposedly hasn't aged since they put the Exsphere on her. I believe that's the main reason for not allowing you contact. You would be able to tell right away if they presented a younger substitute, after all," Regal explained, standing by the controls.

Now she knew why she had been called to come up. However, now she wanted to know why she wasn't being allowed to go down.

"I see. If that's all, Mister Bryant..."

"It's not."

Alicia had assumed that by the doors still being closed. Working the controls of these elevators tended to become second nature to those who used them. Simply forgetting to open the doors was unlikely.

"Alicia, look at me."

The sooner I get this over with, the sooner I can go. She did as she was told. This was too cruel. To look him in the eyes and know that even a year later, he could still cause such a reaction in her. To look him in the eyes and know that she would never do the same to him.

His face hadn't changed and his hair was in roughly the same state it always was in. He was still a well-dressed noble. He was still too tall and too handsome for his own good. But those eyes... Where had that welcoming blue gone, the warm color that invited her to talk with him, to be with him? Cool manners had replaced the welcome, restraint usurped the affection, and complete seriousness supplanted the encouraging smile. Yet those were the same eyes.

That there had been no physical change to reflect the emotional was strangely disturbing.

Tense and holding onto control, Regal began to speak. "I do care for you, Alicia, but you must see how I cannot care for you in that way. You are far too young. I don't wish to hurt you by saying that. It's simply how things are."

She could have said, "And are you saying that you never did care that way? That's not how you acted."

She could have said, "Then why has it taken you a year to tell me this?"

She could have said, "I don't care. Just let me out of here."

But that would have been Alicia to her Rearranger.

"I understand, Mister Bryant," Miss Combatir replied.

"...Don't do that," he told her quietly.

She blinked. "Do what?"

"We're not in public. Don't call me that."

Just like that, Alicia had found a weakness. And as much as she wanted him to love her, Alicia had built up a great deal of anger towards him. "Your name is not an insult, sir. I have never insulted you." She left no question in her tone about whether it was so the other way around.

"Manners are the shield and sword of a Lady, guarding and cutting at once." Some old sayings really were true.

"If you're not going to be mature about this..." He trailed off, realizing that there had been no immaturity from her. Alicia forced herself to hold his gaze and held back the tears which would only allow themselves to be postponed. Regal's expression changed subtly, the man obviously realizing that not wishing to hurt her didn't equal up to not hurting her. "...I..."

She looked away. When she'd been awkward with him in the past, she had always looked at his shoes, she remembered. She wasn't awkward now. She was rejecting.

Alicia refused to look directly at Regal, but was still very much aware of him. She couldn't not be. Regal took a step forward in the small elevator, getting too close for coherent thought. In the same motion, his right hand began to rise, began to reach out to her.

Wide-eyed, she stared.

The distance halfway crossed, Regal blinked before glancing to his hand and back to her. He hadn't realized what he'd been doing. His hand had started to shake. That had never happened before.

A year ago, he would have touched her cheek, guiding her head back. She would have held onto him, her arms under his, her hands on his shoulders. His other hand would have rested on the small of her back, his arm around her, pulling her closer. She would have smiled at him and turned her face in just the right way. He would have made her feel things that only he could make her feel. Without words, she would have told him how much she loved him. They would have had a perfect moment, or several. Each of those perfect moments with Regal was different, but all began the same way.

He would reach out to her, and he would touch her face.

Regal had started to. Regal had starting to without even realizing it.

There would come a day when knowing how much she wanted him to finish doing so wouldn't frighten her. This was not that day. She wasn't supposed to want to be with him this much, not anymore.

"I do care for you, Alicia, but you must see how I cannot care for you in that way."

The pair stared at each other, neither moving.

"...I cannot care for you..."

Alicia looked into the eyes of a man trying to convince himself that he was seeing a child.

"I do care for you, Alicia..."

Alicia saw the man fail.

"I do care..."

Without looking away, Regal reached back for the elevator controls and opened the doors.

"...care for you in that way."

Without looking away, Alicia stepped back, her shoulder hitting the doorframe on the way out.

"...but you must see how I..."

Alicia turned and left, as quickly as she could.

"…cannot."

The doors shut.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Roberto the Melissa-Frightened found her a few minutes later, leaning against a wall with her eyes closed tight. Alicia was most definitely Not Crying.

Alicia informed Roberto of this.

Roberto stated that he was sure this was the case.

Alicia informed Roberto that she was slightly less sure.

Roberto inquired as to whether Alicia would care for a hug.

Alicia shook her head, then nodded.

Roberto very awkwardly stood through several minutes of being placed in the role of big brother, patting a crying girl on the back gently.

Alicia apologized.

Roberto was suitably confused as to what she was apologizing about.

Alicia agreed that nothing had happened that required apologizing for.

"After all," Roberto told her, "it's not as if you can made it rain inside on command."

Alicia sniffled slightly. "...rain?"

Roberto pointed to a wet spot on his uniform. "Rain."

Alicia smiled. Weakly, but she smiled.