Disclaimer: I own nothing in this marvelous universe; it all belongs to C.S. Lewis.
A/N: Dedicated to AntipodeanOpaleye, who sent me an absolutely wonderful PM and wrote several amazing stories on top of that. Thanks!
As for the fic itself, I'm finally home on spring break, and I've finally gotten the LWW Special Edition DVD. I think that pretty much explains it :impish grin:. But perhaps a side-note is also in order: I've just recently re-read Prince Caspian and a couple of other Chronicles of Narnia books, and I was struck by how very little we hear from Edmund at points. This is my attempt to remedy that, with a pinch of brotherly love thrown in for good measure :grins again: Please enjoy!
(1) Prince Caspian pg. 285 in The Complete Chronicles of Narnia (Hard Cover, Illustrated).
"Speech"
/Personal Thoughts/
One-Shot. Non-Slash.
.:No Price Too Great:.
By Sentimental Star
"Come on," Peter said suddenly to Edmund and Lucy. "Our time's up."
"What do you mean?" said Edmund.
"This way," said Susan, who seemed to know all about it. "Back into the trees. We've got to change."
"Change what?" asked Lucy.
"Our clothes, of course," said Susan. "Nice fools we'd look on the platform of an English railway station in these."
"But our things are at Caspian's castle," said Edmund.
"No, they're not," said Peter, still leading the way into the thickest wood. "They're all here. They were brought down in bundles this morning."
"Was that what Aslan was talking to you and Susan about this morning?" asked Lucy.
"Yes—that and other things," said Peter, his face very solemn. "I can't tell it all to you. There were things he wanted to say to Su and me, because we're not coming back to Narnia."
"Never?" cried Edmund and Lucy in dismay.
"Oh, you two are," answered Peter. "At least, from what he said, I'm pretty sure he means you to get back some day. But not Su and me. He says we're getting too old."
"Oh, Peter," said Lucy. "What awful bad luck. Can you bear it?"
"Well, I think I can," said Peter. "It's all rather different from what I thought. You'll understand when it comes to your last time. But, quick, here are our things." (1)
And in so saying, he handed them each a small bundle which the two younger ones recognized were indeed their English clothes. Still, Edmund clutched the bundle tightly to his chest, glancing narrow-eyed between his older siblings.
Something didn't seem right. The two of them were taking this all too calmly. With a sort of calmness that seemed almost numb.
But he did not have time to contemplate for long, Susan drew Lucy off a little ways to get changed, so Edmund knew he and Peter were expected to get changed here.
Quickly, he did so, grimacing slightly at the itchy, scratchiness that was his English clothing.
He finished before Peter, and took to boring two holes into his brother's head. The High King seemed to be taking an inordinately long time, and Edmund wondered whether Lucy was having this much difficulty with Susan.
He shivered slightly, in spite of the fact that it was warm, and rubbed his arms vigorously in attempt to stave off the sudden chill.
He still remembered what Peter had been like when they first stepped back through the wardrobe. What they had all been like. But Peter most of all.
There had been days when the three younger siblings had been afraid to touch him, for fear he might break, or days when the watched him wander aimlessly, afraid they would lose him.
Those had been some of the worst days in Edmund's life. Remedied only by the fact that the Professor had found Lucy one night trying to sneak back to the wardrobe and told her over a cup of hot cocoa that of course they may go back, but it would probably happen when they weren't looking for it.
She, in turn, had told her siblings and Peter seemed to jump back to life.
And so it had happened, but now, Edmund was afraid of a relapse. Perhaps even worse than it had been before.
"Ed?"
Peter's voice startled him out of his thoughts and he quickly glanced up.
His older brother had finally finished, but now looked to be holding himself up only by sheer willpower. Exhaustion and heartache was written on every line of his face. As Peter noticed Edmund's gaze, an impassive mask slammed up and the younger king felt in his heart a fierce burn.
It hurt to see Peter like this. And in that moment, just as their sisters were emerging from the trees, Edmund made a decision.
Biting his lower lip, he quickly made his way across the few feet that separated them, and leaning up, pressed a hurried kiss to his brother's cheek. "I love you, Peter," he mumbled, before turning, and darting out of the wood.
He vaguely heard Peter call his name after him, but paid it little heed.
Dashing out of the clearing near Aslan's door, Edmund scrambled up the far embankment (set apart some distance from the main body of creatures) to where the Great Lion stood, ignoring the jeers some of the nastier Telemarines threw at him.
Skidding to a halt just in front of Aslan, he fell to his knees.
The Lion quickly stood, regarding him with great, golden eyes. "Why such haste, Child?"
In spite of his best attempts to remain controlled, Edmund burst out, "He can't! He can't not return to Narnia!"
"You speak of your brother?" Aslan asked softly.
Edmund nodded vigorously, swiping at tears which seemed to not want to obey his orders not to fall. "You must know, Aslan! You must know what he was like when we first returned! He was like a ghost, or…or a shadow, or a shade, or a specter, or…We couldn't touch him, Aslan, we couldn't touch him! It was like he wasn't really there! He was hardly substantial. He wouldn't eat anything. He could barely sleep the night through--"
He was getting hysterical, and he knew it. So when Aslan abruptly lunged forward, burying Edmund in His mane, the younger king reached up and clung to the Lion's neck for dear life, shoulders shaking slightly. "I'm so afraid of losing him, Aslan," Edmund choked into the golden sea of hair.
There was a great, rumbling purr. Soothing in its own way and doing wonders to calm the distraught young man. "Your fear is justified, Son of Adam, for you have been through much together. Yet, I cannot change my decision. It is meant to be, Child. Some day you will understand."
Edmund's grip tightened and he shook his head. "Can't I do something? Can't I give my turn up? Peter's the High King, I'm just Edmund. I'm not as important as he is. Not as strong, not as brave. Can't he go instead of me? Next time we are called, can't he be the one to go with Lu? I can stay behind. I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't care in the least if it meant--"
"King Edmund," Aslan rumbled. The boy subsided. The Great Lion pulled back slightly to intently study him. "If I recall correctly, you never liked being left behind." Edmund could have sworn he heard a smile in the Lion's voice and had the decency to blush.
Aslan chuckled slightly, before sobering. "You would give up Narnia, then? For your brother?"
There seemed to be something more behind this question. Much more. A weight of the likes which Edmund wasn't sure he wanted to understand. But he swallowed hard…and nodded. Once. With a firmness that refuted any doubt. His eyes were locked on Aslan.
"And would that be fair, Son of Adam, to your older sister? That your brother may go, yet she may not?"
Edmund swallowed again, and shook his head. "I…I don't believe so, Aslan. But…" The Lion nodded for him to go on. "But you see…Su, Lu, and I…we managed, Aslan. Really we did. We managed. But Peter…" He swallowed once more. "And Susan wouldn't be alone…because I would be with her. If Peter were to take my place, that means I would take his."
"Which would mean you could never return to Narnia," Aslan completed.
Edmund blinked rapidly, but nodded.
The Lion actually smiled, nuzzling Edmund's cheek. "Your heart is very great, little one. That you would sacrifice this for your brother shows how very far you have come. It has been many years—many, many years. But the White Witch's taint is finally gone. Walk with me."
The younger king swallowed and stood with shaky legs, leaning slightly on Aslan as they slowly made their way back to where his siblings stood in the center of the clearing, gazing at the two of them in obvious concern. And Edmund was struck by how oddly similar this was to another scene. One long, long ago, but whose power had never quite left him.
Aslan spoke again, "I will not revoke what I told your older siblings, Child." Edmund felt nauseous, his heart sinking, but dutifully nodded. "You need not, however, fear that you will lose your brother."
"Why is that, Aslan?" the boy slurred thickly.
The Lion looked up at him, smiling. "Because he has you."
That startled Edmund enough to bring him to a rather abrupt halt. He stared at Aslan amazement. "Me?" he gasped. "But what can I do?"
The Lion, who had paused in His stride when Edmund did, allowed his smile to widen. "What can you do, indeed, Dear Heart? It would seem you have already done more than enough." And in so saying, nodded His great head to where Peter stood with the two girls.
They had crossed more than two-thirds of the distance by now, and because they were so much were closer to the other three, Edmund was able to read his brother's face quite well. Although it was still tired, when Peter caught his gaze and smiled at him, some of the heartache and the shadows had already receded.
"You see?" Aslan asked with another smile.
Edmund flushed under his brother's grateful gaze and bashfully dropped his head, shyly (but gently) twisting his fingers in Aslan's mane.
The Lion's laughing golden eyes turned solemn in the next moment. "Do you believe yourself strong enough, Child? Your brother will need you now more than ever."
The young king swallowed, but lifted his chin. Turning to Aslan, a determined fire flickering in his eyes, he gave a confident nod, murmuring, "Yes, Aslan. I believe I do." And released the Great Lion's mane.
Aslan breathed on Edmund. "Then go to him."
Able to hold himself straighter, and feeling lighter than he had in days, Edmund bowed to the Lion and purposefully strode towards his siblings.
When he reached Peter, the High King pulled him into a rough hug, before stepping back and surveying his face. "Are you all right, Ed?" he asked softly, lightly fingering the dried tear tracks on the younger boy's cheeks.
Edmund took a deep breath and smiled up at his older brother, eyes bright. "Now I am."
The End!