As The World Falls Down

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. I did not write any of the lyrics at the beginning of the chapter. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

MAJOR HALF-BLOOD PRINCE SPOILERS

Summary: Lucius Malfoy has lost everything. He only has the young witch who comes to his aid, but will happen when he remembers who he is, and more importantly, who she is?

ONE MORE WARNING: MAJOR HALF-BLOOD PRINCE SPOILERS. DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU HAVE READ HALF-BLOOD PRINCE

Chapter 4 – Going Left

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There's a train people say
I could ride to get my whole life straight
But the bridge on the way
Has a toll too much for me to pay
Yes I know it must be
What I chose could mean my destiny
Lights are green all is go
But my heart keeps telling my mind no

Going Left by Eric Clapton

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"What is it?" Severus Snape asked, sitting up in bed. "Why are you awake?"

"I had another nightmare." The blonde witch beside him said, her body still trembling.

Severus reached out to her gently, laying his hand on her arm. "He is gone Narcissa."

"I know that. And I know we did the right thing, but it still haunts me Severus. I fed my own husband to the dark lord. How can you expect me to feel no guilt?" Narcissa Malfoy asked, tears clouding her blue eyes.

Severus sighed, wiping a stray tear off of her cheek. "I don't expect you to feel no guilt. I just hope you understand why we did what we did. It was for the greater good. It was for Draco."

Narcissa turned into his embrace, burying her head in his warm chest. "I am so sorry Severus. I don't know why I can't keep it together."

He held her, rocking her as she cried. Severus Snape wondered what his students would think if they saw him holding a crying woman. 'Former students' he thought to himself. Now he was on the run from Hogwarts and the Order. All because of Albus Dumbledore. That awful, stupid man had put him in a position Severus had never wanted to be in.

"Narcissa, I carry that guilt also." Severus whispered to the women he held.

She sniffled, looking up at him. "Albus."

Severus nodded, the pain in his eyes shined clearly. "Yes, Albus. I also feel guilt. Every moment I am awake I see him pleading with me in my mind, his begging me to kill him, telling me it was for the greater good. Every time I close my eyes I see him falling, knowing I caused it. I know how you feel Narcissa. Sometimes we have to hurt the ones we love the most for the greater good." A trace of bitterness was in his voice.

"I am sorry. I cry because the husband I never loved is dead, and yet the only man you saw as a father is dead at your hand, and nobody knows why." Narcissa whispered into his chest.

"It doesn't matter right now. They will understand soon enough. For now I have you, and after eighteen years of waiting that is enough." Severus replied.

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"What time is it?" Hermione asked, sitting up on the couch and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"It's almost four." Remus Lupin replied, letting go of her shoulder.

"In the afternoon?" She cried, jumping up in alarm.

"No, it's four in the morning." Remus replied calmly.

Hermione paused. "Then why in Merlin's name are you waking me up?" she demanded.

"I know you needed your sleep, but your guest is awake." Remus replied, wiping the sleep from his own eyes.

Hermione sat back down, running a hand through her smooth curls. "Did Ron and Harry come back?"

"No, not long after I carried you to the couch Hedwig dropped a note saying they were staying at the Burrow tonight. Harry asked me stay with you, so I crashed in Ron's room. I heard Lucius moving about a little bit ago."

"What am I going to tell him when he starts asking me questions again?"

"I don't know Hermione." Remus replied honestly.

Her eyes clouded up with unshed tears. "Professor Dumbledore would have known exactly what to do. I feel lost sometimes without him."

Remus sat down next to her. "I miss him as much as you do, and I feel the loss of his guiding hand, but we will do this without him Hermione. He taught us all well, and we will somehow figure this out."

Hermione leaned into his welcoming embrace, nuzzling her face into his neck. The gentle beating of his heart calmed her nerves. "I don't know what I would do without you sometimes."

"Should I come back later?" A silky voice asked from the doorway to the living room.

Hermione jumped from Remus quickly. "You are awake." She declared, looking over at the tall wizard.

Lucius nodded. "I am. I wonder if I may take a shower."

"Of course. I will get you some spare supplies. Then you need to eat. Are you hungry?" she asked.

Lucius seemed to consider this for a moment. "Yes. I am." He replied.

"Okay." She said, opening the spare closet door. "Here's some soap and shampoo. There are extra towels in the bathroom already. I'll make you some breakfast."

"And coffee?" he suggested with a smile. "I think I like coffee."

"Coffee it is." She replied, not returning his smile.

Lucius frowned as she quickly exited the room. He looked back over to the man she had been embracing moments ago. The tall, sandy haired man nodded to Lucius.

Lucius returned the nod before making his way back to the small bathroom. He dropped the soap and shampoo on the counter and looked into the mirror.

The dried blood from yesterday was gone. He had no doubt the young witch had used a spell to clean the worst of the blood and caked mud off of him. His hair was hanging down in limp strands around his face, and this bothered him, although he didn't know why.

He sighed, turning on the taps of the shower to see a cascade of warm water immediately flow. Lucius quickly stripped, stepping into the warm streams. The water hit his muscles, and he hissed. He felt instant relief on his sore legs and back.

Lucius closed his eyes, letting the water flow through his hair. "Lucius Malfoy." He said out loud. The name didn't mean anything to him. "That is who I am. Lucius Malfoy. I am Lucius Malfoy." Nope, nothing. "Hermione." He said this time. The witch that had saved his life. "Hermione." He repeated. That name didn't mean anything to him either.

Hermione. What was her last name? How old was she? Was that man out there her husband? Why did that matter? Lucius may not remember his age or his mother's name, but he remembered what jealousy felt like, and he was amazed to have felt it when he saw the witch cuddling with that man.

Why was he worrying about some witch right now, when he didn't even know if he was married? He decided the mind could do strange things when you don't know who you are. "Lucius Malfoy." He repeated again, lathering his hair.

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"Eggs?" Remus asked, stepping into the kitchen and sniffing the air.

"Yes, I didn't know what he would want to eat." Hermione replied, chewing her bottom lip.

"You okay?" Remus asked.

"Yes. No. I don't know." She answered, spinning around to charm the bacon.

"Sit down." Remus commanded.

"I can't right now. I can't sit when I'm nervous. What am I supposed to tell him when he asks if he has family?" she said, pouring fresh juice. "Do I say yes? Do I tell him about his twisted Death Eater son and evil wife?"

"Hermione…" Remus started.

"What do I do when he asks again about why Harry and Ron treated him so bad? Or why you called him a monster? What do I say when he asks why I flinched when he reached for me to help himself stand? Do I tell him 'Gee Lucius, you are a murdering follower of the most evil wizard in history. Not to mention you rape, steal, and torture wizards and muggles alike?"

"Hermione…." Remus started again.

"Why don't I tell him all of that and then buy him a ticket on the Knight Bus right back to Voldemort?" she spat.

"Are you done?" Remus tried again.

She sighed. "Yes. I'm done." She charmed the breakfast to stay warm until Lucius came out. Plopping down in the seat next to Remus, she rubbed her tired face. "You can go home now Remus, I have this under control."

"I'm not leaving you here alone with him." Remus stated.

"Tonks is due any day, don't you want to be there with her?" Hermione asked.

Remus smiled. "We charmed these watches." He said, pointing to a solid black watch on his wrist. "When she goes into labor, she'll activate her watch, and mine will alert me."

Hermione smiled. "You don't have to stay though. You need to be home with her."

"And I will once Harry and Ron get back." Remus said. "End of discussion."

"Fine, you are stubborn." She said, relieved that he wasn't going to leave. "So we haven't figured out what we are going to tell him yet."

"I think it would be best to tell him as much of the truth as we can." Remus replied.

He noticed Hermione pale slightly under the harsh kitchen lights. "Everything?"

He reached out and covered her hand. "Not everything. Not yet. You can decide later what to do with that. But we do need to tell him about the battle, and about how evil Voldemort is."

"What if it jogs his memory and he remembers everything?" Hermione asked.

"If we take it slow, it shouldn't jog anything, but I can't guarantee it." Remus said. "It's the best plan I can think of."

"So what do we tell him first?" She said.

"You can tell me if I have family." Lucius replied from the doorway.

Hermione jumped in her seat. "I…. uh…."

Lucius slowly made his way to the seat across from her, sitting down. "I just want to know who I am."

"I'll get breakfast." Remus said, jumping up from the table.

'Damn werewolf.' Hermione thought. "Okay. I'll tell you want you want to know. You…" she paused. Could she lie to him? It wouldn't be right to lie, to tell him he had no wife or child. But then, nothing he did had ever been right. She bit her lip.

"You have never been married, and you have no children." Remus said, setting a cup of coffee down on the table in front of Lucius.

Hermione looked up, a mixture of confusion and shock in her eyes. Remus smiled at her, trying to tell her he knew what he was doing.

"No family at all? What about parents?" he asked.

"We have no idea, you never shared much about your history with us." Remus answered.

"And who are you?" Lucius asked, turning to the other man, that surge of jealousy rising again.

"Remus Lupin." Remus said. "And you already know Hermione. Hermione Granger."

"So you two are not married?" Lucius asked casually.

Hermione smiled a genuine smile at this. "Merlin no. He's got a baby on the way!" she said.

Lucius told himself it was the food in his stomach that made his head feel better suddenly. "You still haven't told me everything. What was that mans problem with me last night? And why did you call me a monster?"

"You haven't always been the nicest person to us." Hermione said softly.

"What did I do?" Lucius asked, setting his fork down.

"It's not important right now." Remus interrupted. "What is important is making sure you are feeling okay, maybe you should get some more rest."

Lucius sighed. "Do you know how frustrating it is not knowing who you are? Why you are treated awful? Who everyone else is? What day of the week it is? I don't know any of that."

Hermione felt that strange mix of hatred and pity again for this man. "You will understand it all Lucius, I promise. But Remus is right; you need to get some more rest. I won't tell you anything else until you are feeling one hundred percent better."

Lucius hated to admit that he already felt tired. He sighed in frustration. "Fine. I'll go rest." He muttered, pushing away from the table.

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"This is strange." Severus muttered from behind the Daily Prophet a couple hours later.

Narcissa looked up from the coffee cup she was staring at. "What?"

"There is no mention of finding Lucius' body yesterday. It would have made front page news." Severus said.

"Maybe they didn't find it yet." She suggested, getting up to walk behind him and read the paper over his shoulder.

"Perhaps." He muttered, looking at her well-manicured hand resting on his shoulder.