As The World Falls Down

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. I did not write any of the lyrics at the beginning of the chapter. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

MAJOR HALF-BLOOD PRINCE SPOILERS

Summary: Lucius Malfoy has lost everything. He only has the young witch who comes to his aid, but will happen when he remembers who he is, and more importantly, who she is?

ONE MORE WARNING: MAJOR HALF-BLOOD PRINCE SPOILERS. DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU HAVE READ HALF-BLOOD PRINCE

Chapter 6 – Honestly OK

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I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again
I just want to feel deep in my own world
but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
On a different day if I was safe in my own skin
then I wouldn't feel so lost and so frightened
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin

Honestly OK by Dido

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"I don't know much about your history or your family. I can't help you there," Hermione began. "I don't think I have ever heard your parents names, so I couldn't tell you who they were. Your name, as I told you before, is Lucius Malfoy. I don't know exactly how old you are, but I believe you are in your mid-forties."

"What day is it? What month?" Lucius asked, laying his arms on the kitchen table.

"Today is July 23rd," Hermione responded.

Lucius sighed. "I can tell you are hesitant about explaining things to me, but please, I need to know, and I want you to be honest with me."

Hermione sighed. "Let me start with a few small things. There is a school where all witches and wizards achieve their education, both academic and magical. The name of the school is Hogwarts. The headmaster there was Albus Dumbledore. I attended that school, and so did you.

"Over twenty years ago a wizard graduated from Hogwarts. His name was Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle went bad, very bad. He hated muggles and he thought the wizard world would be better off without them."

"Muggles?" Lucius asked.

"Muggles are people who are not magic. You always called them mudbloods," she spit the word out laced with venom, and Lucius got the impression it was an offensive word that she had been hurt by.

"So how does this Tom Riddle relate to me?" he asked.

Hermione sighed. "As Riddle grew more powerful he changed his name. He became known as…" she hesitated, this was the moment of truth. "He became Lord Voldemort. It's a name most people will not say. They call him you-know-who or he-who-must-not-be-named." Lucius gave no response to the name, and Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. One step done and a million more to go.

"As Voldemort's power increased he began recruiting other wizards and witches who felt the same way he did about muggles. They were called Deatheaters. At first they did small things like burning buildings and sending threats. Soon they began to do more awful things. They began killing muggle-borns, they enjoyed torturing entire families. Pureblooded wizards who associated with muggles were killed also. The Deatheaters would steal from their victims and…rape…. they would rape muggles." Hermione stopped talking and Lucius noticed her hand was trembling.

Reaching over he put his hand over her hand. "You said when you woke up that you could picture 'him' raping you all over again. You were raped by these Deatheaters, weren't you?"

Hermione paled. She licked her lips before opening her mouth and continuing her story, ignoring his question. "Nineteen years ago Albus Dumbledore formed a group of powerful witches and wizards to stop Voldemort. They were called the Order of the Phoenix. Voldemort began hunting the members of the Order. Two of them were married and had a small son. When Voldemort attacked and killed the couple, he could not kill the boy. Instead Voldemort was nearly destroyed. All that was left was his soul.

"The boy became known as the boy-who-lived, and he is famous in the wizard world. That boy is Harry Potter," she stopped to take a sip of her water.

"Harry was the man here earlier. The one with glasses?" Lucius asked.

Hermione nodded. "Yes. Harry has been my best friend since our first year at Hogwarts. I am also a muggle-born witch. Both of my parents are muggles. This has made me a target of Voldemort's since he came back."

"You said Harry Potter destroyed Voldemort, so how did he come back?" Lucius asked.

"Most of the Deatheaters faded back into the wizard community after Voldemort was destroyed. They thought he was dead so they lied and swore they were under spells, some of them even bought their freedom. Only a few of these servants remained loyal. About four years ago they managed to bring Voldemort's soul back into a body, and after he returned most of this Deatheaters re-entered his service. They began raping, torturing and killing muggles while trying to find and kill Harry.

"The Order of the Phoenix has been reformed, and we are doing everything in our power to find and kill Voldemort before he gets to Harry," Hermione stopped again.

"So this Voldemort is out there right now hunting for you and your friends?" Lucius asked.

"Yes." Hermione said, noticing how quiet it was for the first time.

"I still don't get how this involves me though." Lucius said, sipping his water.

Hermione ran her hands up and down her own water glass and lowered her eyes to the table as she spoke. "As I said, most of Voldemort's Deatheaters went back to his service after he came back. Voldemort must remain in hiding, so unless the victim is brought to him, he rarely kills or tortures anyone himself. He sends his Deatheaters out to do the work for him.

"Once a Deatheater has tortured and killed their victim, they send a symbol up in the sky to signify it is done. This symbol is of a skull, with a snake coming out of it's…"

Before Hermione could finish, Lucius jumped up from the table, knocking his chair back as he did so. His eyes were wide and Hermione noticed his lips were pale. He quickly rolled his sleeve up, thrusting his arm towards her. "This symbol?"

Hermione stood up slowly, looking up to meet his eyes for the first time since she started her story. "Each Deatheater was branded with the Dark Mark. It burns when Voldemort calls for them."

"Me? I am a Death…" he trailed off. Lucius didn't move. His arm was still thrust out, the Dark Mark staring at them both. Slowly, Lucius found his seat, sinking into it slowly. "It makes since now. The way Harry reacted. Your reaction when I stumbled up to you on the street. The fear in your eyes whenever I move to quickly."

Hermione felt sorry for him. She didn't know where it came from, but this overwhelming since of sorrow filled her. She sat back down and reached out, this time covering his hand with her much smaller one.

When Lucius looked up again, Hermione was shocked to see tears in his eyes. She could tell it was taking all of his effort not to let them spill down his cheeks. "Why?" he asked. "Why would I be so evil? How could I be so evil? I have killed people?"

Hermione bit her bottom lip, she knew she needed to be honest with him, but hesitated on making it any worse on him right now. "You were not just a Deatheater, Lucius. You were Voldemort's right-hand man. The most feared of all Deatheaters."

Lucius didn't make any reaction to this. He continued to stare off into space, but she could feel his hand tremble underneath her own. After a moment of silence, he spoke. "Why did I become a Deatheater?"

"I don't know. If I had to guess I would say you were born into it. Your family is pureblooded, and they always looked down their noses on muggle-borns. Voldemort represented everything you wanted at the time."

Lucius looked over at her. "I want to help the Order. I'll do everything I can to help destroy this Voldemort. The redhead mentioned earlier that with me here you would have access to all my books and spells, anything I have you can have. I don't know what I have though. You'd have to tell me."

Hermione sighed, suddenly feeling very tired. "We will figure it all out, somehow," she paused. "I am sorry."

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Lucius asked, looking up at her.

"I am sorry you had to find this out. I am sorry you are hurting now for what you have done," she replied.

Lucius noticed her own chin trembling and the break in her voice. "You suffer your own scars," he said.

Hermione moved her hands to her lap. "Two people very dear to me were killed by Deatheaters," she noticed the unasked question in his eyes immediately. "Not you. Two others. Sirius was killed by his own cousin and Professor Dumbledore was killed by a person we all trusted."

"You were raped by a Deatheater, weren't you?" he asked.

Hermione sprang from her chair. "Yes, I was," she said, quickly leaving the kitchen.

Lucius jumped up quickly and followed her. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories. I want to help. Tell me what to do and I'll do it. I want to gain your trust. The Orders trust."

Hermione smiled softly. "It's late. We can talk about more of this tomorrow."

"I wish now I had never asked about who I was." Lucius said softly. "I think I liked not knowing better."

"I wish I didn't have to be the one to tell you," Hermione said. "You may stay in my room again tonight. I'll sleep in Harry's."

"I thought you said Harry would be back shortly." Lucius said.

"I lied." Hermione admitted, going into Harry's room and shutting the door. She leaned up against the cool wood for a moment before turning and warding the door. The wards on the front door would keep Lucius in the flat if he tried to leave, but something told her he wouldn't.

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Lucius stood out in the hallway for a moment before entering her small room again. Everything he had learned in the last couple of hours turned his head. He was this evil wizard's right hand man. He had killed innocent people because they were not pureblooded.

After removing his clothing, Lucius turned to the mirror again. He slowly raised his arm up, staring at the tattoo again. The mark of evil on his arm. He turned away from the mirror with disgust, climbing into the warm bed that smelled of rain and roses. The confusion and disgust haunted him, but not as much as the empty look in Hermione's eyes as she spoke of the evil he had done.