by Sky Rose
Notes: umm...nothing terrible happens, but if the end seems wierd...I'm sorry. And I think I did something that one of my reviewers told me two chapters ago told me about. I was told I changed tenses. I don't even notice I do that, just go with the flow. I think I did it right in the middle of this chapter. Sorry! I'm not even sure the quote really matches the story, but it was better than the first verse.
Chapter 4: Blue, Dressed in Black
While inside I grieve,
I wear this mask of pretend.
It's all make-believe.
I'm only fooling myself again.
Seto Kaiba awoke to an unfamiliar room. He also awoke to several kinks in his body, as he had slept on a couch that was not his own, and he had cramped up in an attempt to make himself comfortable. He stood up and stretched, popping several joints. He looked around, and remembered what had happened the night before. He walked up the stairs, and peeked into Yuugi's room. He was still sleeping soundly on top of the bed. Seto smiled at the sight, then walked down to the kitchen to see what there was.
Yuugi awoke to the smell of bacon frying and coffee brewing. 'Food?' He thought to himself. 'Who's cooking, if I'm in bed?' Yuugi cautiously walked down the stairs, and walked into the kitchen. He blinked. "Kaiba?"
"Good morning to you too, Yuugi." Seto said, setting Yuugi's table.
"Why are you in my house, and why are you cooking breakfast?" Yuugi said, sitting down. "Why does my head hurt?" Seto handed Yuugi a cup of coffee and a couple of aspirin. Yuugi accepted them gratefully.
"I brought you home last night. And I thought a good breakfast would help you get over your hangover faster than some of your 'cures.'" Seto answered him. He made no mention of the moves that Yuugi had tried to put on him the night before.
"And you stayed, just to do that?" Yuugi asked out loud. Seto nodded.
"I wanted to make sure you were alright." Seto answered quietly. Yuugi blinked in response.
"Thank you." He answered, and ate the food that was placed on his plate. "I didn't know you could cook though."
"Just because I'm rich doesn't mean I don't mind doing some simple tasks." Seto smiled at him. "I'm surprised you had much of anything in your fridge."
"Gee, thanks." Yuugi said. They ate in silence for a while.
"Yuugi?" Seto started tentatively. Yuugi looked up. "Do you remember most of what happened yesterday?" Yuugi nodded.
"I'm sorry." Yuugi said, looking down.
"Can I see the letter?" Seto asked, figuring it was really none of his business, but was curious none the less. Yuugi pointed at the envelope in the center of the table. Seto took that to mean that Yuugi didn't mind. He read Anzu's letter, and then looked at the pictures of the little boy. The little face that was smiling for the camera looked so much like Yuugi's when he was young. The only difference was that this boy's eyes shined blue instead of violet. He was cute, as much as Seto didn't want to admit it. Seto replaced the contents in the envelope.
"Every day, there's a part of me that dies. She had to go and give me a reason to go on." Yuugi muttered. Seto frowned. Wasn't their relationship anything to him yet?
"What's so bad about that?" Seto asked. He had many a time when he wished he had given up, but he could always count on his little brother to pull him out of that idea because he still needed him. Yuugi looked at him, then shrugged and stood up.
"I'm going to take a shower." With that, Yuugi stalked off to the bathroom, leaving Seto to wonder why he wasn't too happy about the way his life is going.
Yuugi hung his head under the warm water. He wondered why all of a sudden Anzu would spring something like that on him. Yes, he had wanted to have children someday. He didn't know she had taken off with a child in her womb. His child. He kind of smiled. He had a beautiful son, and he didn't know him, or even know if he ever would. He pounded the wall. "Damn you, woman!" Had she done that to make him feel guilty? It wasn't going to work. It was her that left him all alone back in Japan.
He had soaped up and was rinsing off, wondering just what she wanted. He turned the water off and walked into his room, looking for something to wear that fit his mood. Yuugi pulled on a pair of black jeans, and black tank top. He debated on what he was going to do when there was a knock on his door. "You can come in." Yuugi said just loud enough to be heard through the door. Seto walked in and sat down on the bed.
"Are you alright?" Seto asked. Yuugi turned around at the question.
"You said it yourelf: I'm fucked up. Badly." Yuugi said quietly, sitting next to the taller man. Seto wrapped his arm around Yuugi. "I just want to go back to my old habit of drinking it off and fucking a couple of whores."
"And if I don't let you?" Seto asked.
"That might not be such a bad idea." Yuugi said. "I can't deal with this life sober, though." He leaned even more into Seto. "Everyone's that ever meant anything to me have left me. I can't deal with this any more." Seto felt something wet on his shirt, then realized that Yuugi was crying. He rubbed the smaller man's back.
"I'm here." Seto said, trying to comfort Yuugi. "I won't leave you, I promise."
"You can't promise that. There's always something that could happen." Yuugi muttered with his face in Seto's shirt.
"I'll do what I can to keep it though." Seto leaned down, and kissed the top of Yuugi's head. "Will you promise me something?" Yuugi looked up. "I'm going to go home, get cleaned up, and I'll be back. Will you stay sober until I come back?" Yuugi nodded. "Promise?"
"I promise." Yuugi said.
"And don't do anything stupid. I know you're upset, but," Seto trailed off. "I love you, at least." He said hurriedly, and headed for the door. Yuugi stared after him. Did he really mean that? Yuugi just sat there, pondering over that and many other questions in his mind.
It was two hours later when Seto came back. He found Yuugi curled up in bed, sleeping again. He sat down next to Yuugi, and stroked his hair, amazed at how soft it really was when it looked like someone could poke their eye out if they got too close to him. Yuugi's eyelids fluttered open. "Oh, it's you." He said.
"How are you?" Seto asked, ignoring the greeting.
"I don't think there's any other way to describe it. I think I'm blue." Yuugi said, as he stared at the ceiling.
"You certainly look like it." Seto answered. He handed Yuugi a small rectangular package. "Those are for you. Knowing you, I bet you want to put those pictures up somewhere." The only picture Seto held onto was that picture of Mokuba from all those years ago that still hangs from his neck. It was the only one that really meant something to him. Yuugi had several pictures around the house, mostly of his friends. Candid shots that someone looked surprised in, or silly shots of them all shoved together to get in the frame.
Yuugi looked surprised, and set the frames on the nightstand. "Thank you." He said, sitting up. He leaned his head against Seto's shoulder. "I'm going to write her back, and send her some money for the kid." Yuugi said, suddenly.
"Are you sure that's wise?" Seto asked.
"I'm going to tell her in no uncertain terms that she is not welcome back into my life, but he is." Yuugi said.
"You're not going to fight for custody of him, are you?" Seto asked, hoping that Yuugi didn't have any stupid ideas.
"No, but I'd like to spend some time with him, if she'll let me. Like maybe for a month when he's older." Seto nodded, thinking that was oddly noble of Yuugi.
"You make a lot of sense when you're sober." Seto told him.
"That's why I like staying drunk." Yuugi answered. "It's a reason to wallow in my sorrow, and it's my mask when I can't handle the world."
"I wish you wouldn't." Seto said, wrapping his arm around Yuugi again.
"Want to sleep." Yuugi said.
"I have something else in mind, but you don't have to if you don't feel ready yet." Seto said. Yuugi looked at him curiously. Seto tipped Yuugi's head up and bent down to kiss him passionately. Yuugi looked surprised. Seto grinned at him. "Have an idea of what it is?"
"A very good one." Yuugi said, and pushed Seto down on the bed and straddled the taller man's hips. "And I think I like it." He said, leaning up to return the kiss feverishly.
A half hour later the two were just lying on the bed together. "That was," Yuugi paused. "Unbelievable." He finished a few moments later, slightly panting to catch his breath. Seto grabbed Yuugi around the waist and held him.
"Do you regret it?" Seto asked quietly, hoping that if Yuugi had regretted it that he would have shoved Seto out of bed and told him to get out of his home.
"Of course. It's a new feeling, and it was different, I'll admit that." Yuugi said, facing the same direction that Seto was so he wouldn't have to look at his face.
"Yuugi?" Seto's voice got a bit more serious, if it was possible. Yuugi closed his eyes and tried to pretend that there wasn't a naked man in his bed spooning him and that the naked man was not THE Seto Kaiba. Yuugi rolled over and looked down at Seto's feet and took a nice long look as he worked himself to look him in the eye. Yuugi was fascinated with how long Seto's toes were, they were almost like fingers. He moved up the legs, wondering at the length of Seto's legs and marveling at how graceful and slim they were. The muscles were well toned, which surprised Yuugi. Considering Seto had a desk job, Yuugi thought Seto might have been neglecting to exercise. Seto's legs told a surprising truth that Seto used them a lot.
Yuugi's eyes continued the journey up the other man's body. Seto's chest was well toned as well. Yuugi paused, knowing that soon he would meet Seto's eyes. There was his long neck that gave way to his prominent jaw and thin lips. Seto's nose stuck out a little, but it was just perfect where it sat on his face. Yuugi skipped over his eyes for the moment, and touched the chestnut hair that was damp from their previous activities. Yuugi finally looked at Seto's eyes, wishing he hadn't. Those cobalt orbs reflected a sadness and desire that Yuugi wasn't sure he could conquer. "I don't know if I can be what you want me to be." Yuugi said at last.
"I don't want you to be anything other than you. I didn't force you to do any thing." Seto told him. Yuugi snuggled closer, not sure what to think. Seto ran his free hand through Yuugi's black and magenta locks. "I just want you."
"I haven't been myself for years." Yuugi said quietly.
"Maybe it's time you were again." Seto told him, kissing the top of Yuugi's head. "Sobering up would be a good step. Promise me you'll only drink when we're together?" Seto asked.
Yuugi's face contorted in a way that said he wanted to, but wasn't sure he could. "I can't promise you anything. I'm sorry, Seto." Yuugi said. Seto still held on to Yuugi.
"I see." Seto said simply, not forcing the issue. Somehow, he wanted to take all the troubles that the world had laid upon the smaller man's shoulder and lift the weight off of him that made him seem even smaller. He settled for holding on to him. "I can accept that." Yuugi looked him in the eye, and saw the acceptence there. He would try, but wouldn't promise anything.
"Seto?" Yuugi's answer was a noise from the other man's throat that barely sounded like anything. "I'll try if you'll help me with something. It's a really big something though." Yuugi said, clearing his throat a bit. "Could you give me some money that I could send to Anzu and my son?" Yuugi asked. Seto half expected Yuugi to ask this. He couldn't just say no; it wasn't like he couldn't spare a few million yen.
"In return you'll try to be better about your habits?" Seto asked. Yuugi nodded. Seto combed his fingers through Yuugi's hair. "Alright, I'll do it."
"Thank you very much." Yuugi said. "If he has a better life, it's just one small thing I hope he'll remember about his father."
"Once he meets you, he won't forget you. You have that effect on people." Seto answered. It was because of that effect that Seto had invited him for that first night out. It was just supposed to a 'say hi to an old friend' thing, but it led to so much more.