Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Ladder 49; lyrics are Illume by Stevie Nicks.

Chapter 2

Linda didn't go to work. She stayed at home and took care of her kids like normal, only it wasn't normal, because after the bus pulled up, and picked up her kids, there was no one else to kiss goodbye, and giggle with, sometimes argue with until he too had to leave. When her kids came back from school, telling tales of what funny things friends had done and said, there was no one else to come in and creep up on her while she was stirring the pots on the stove, and pull her into an embrace. Just the three of them. A week after the funeral, Linda sent her mother home, despite her insistence to let her stay and help. The two days after the funeral, Linda kept Nicky and Katie at home, and made arrangements with credit card companies and insurance agencies and threw out all the things that Jack would never be able to use again, like his toothpaste and aftershave and the whiskey that only he ever drank. She even threw away the lotion that he often rubbed on her shoulders, since there would be no one to give her massages as she lay face down and talked about her day.

Linda got a web-design job that only involved working at home for a few hours a day, so that she wouldn't have to face the world, and when she was too depressed to work, she could leave it for a few days. She had many groceries delivered to their house, and hardly went out. Maybe because grocery stores reminded her of Jack. But, mostly because she didn't want to have to face the looks of people who knew her, the one's that read 'that poor women, how is she even surviving after such a tragedy'. She was asking herself those same questions and didn't need them from other people who had no idea, who couldn't even perceive what it was like to lose your best friend, your lover, so unexpectantly.

And she didn't look good. She tried to smile for her kids, and look happy, but her eyes were worn and tired and she was putting on a bit of weight.

Linda's head was in the toilet when the doorbell rang.

"Shoot," she said to herself. "I'll be right there," she yelled, hoping that whoever was at the door could hear her. She wiped her face with a cloth and flushed the toilet.

"What's wrong with you!" demanded her mother from behind her, scaring the life out of her. She'd forgotten that her mother still had the spare key.

"I'm just sick, that's all. Not feeling well."

Gloria Reynolds eyed her daughter.

"This has gone on too long. Is this still from last week? Look at you. You're not well. Lovesick, I think. You need to go see someone, a therapist or something to help you sort out all this," pestered Gloria.

"The only people I have to see are my kids. Nicky's teacher just called, I was on my way when I just got a little sick. He had a little incident since it's fire prevention week, and I guess the poor guy couldn't take it. I have to go pick him up. The school conveniently neglects to warm me beforehand that there is this huge series of demonstrations and speeches this week. Will you excuse me, mother, and I am not going to see any sort of doctor or therapist or anything!" shouted Linda, popping a couple mints in her mouth and grabbing her jacket and keys. "Oh, and for your information, I am lovesick."

Linda drove up to the school and walked the long hallway until she reached the office. There was Nicky, slouching in a chair and trying to his face, which she was sure was red and swollen from crying. She sat down on the chair beside him and stroked his hair.

"Hey sweetie," whispered Linda.

Nicky remained silent. Linda turned his face so that he could see her.

"Come here," she said, pulling him into his lap.

"Mom will you just drop it! I don't need to sit in your lap anymore," cried Nicky.

Linda sighed. It hurt her that Nicky felt that way, but she understood.

"Mrs. Morrisson, you I see you for a moment?" asked the principal, Mr. Jones.

Once in the office, the door closed and Nicky behind it, Mr. Jones gave her the look. "My deepest sympathies, Mrs. Morrisson. I can imagine what a toll this entire ordeal this has had on your life."

There was silence as the man waited for Linda to say something. Instead, she glared at him, to make him not only fell guilty, but to prevent herself from letting tears spill.

"Erm, well, anyhow, this has had a serious impact on your children." The glared deepened. "Nobody could blame them of course. Nicky especially has been sensitive. But I assure you that we are trying to be as careful as we can. We were just unsure how the cildren would react to fire-safety demonstrations all week. But it division policy that each child must be in attendance for at least one of the speeches. After Nicky's erm, incident, we checked up on Katie's classroom, and she appeared to be handling the situation fairly well. In fact, she kept bringing up your late husband, quite enthousiastically. I believe she even knew the firefighter helping her class room." Linda shivered when the man said late husband. As though he was simply at work, would come home and have to reheat his dinner. "Captain Mike Kennedy."

Linda was shocked. She had no idea that Mike had been involved in the school-initiated program. "Yes, very well in fact."

"Well, she showed no signs of distress, and she was telling her friends all about him, and her dad. I've talked to the school psychiatrist, and he says that these demonstrations could be great for Katie, but if you would prefer her not to participate, that wouldn't be a problem, each of your children have each attended a demonstration, so you could keep them at home for the rest of the week if you'd like. However, our psychiatrist would like to see Nicky for a few sessions, with your permission of course."

"I see. Well, I'll have to think about it and keeping my kids home. I think I'll go see my son now, and if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to see my daughter and Captain Kennedy."

"Of course. Katie's class should just be finishing it's fire drill outside with the Captain now. I'll walk you over there."

As Linda exited the small office, she smiled at Nicky. He had been to the washroom and washed his face. He gave her a small smile back. She pulled him into a hug and kissed his head and they all walked out to Katie's playground just as the recess bell rang.

"Mommy! Mommy! Guess what! Uncle Mike was here today! And he brought us all the stickers!"

"That's great sweetie. You had fun then?"

" Yeah! And I got to tell everyone about daddy, and even Uncle Mike did too!"

"That's wonderful Katie."

"Hello Linda," said Mike, pulling her into a hug. "How are you," he asked sincerely.

"Alright, I suppose. I certainly haven't been taking the most care of my appearance, though," she said, trying to joke, pointing out her sweats and messy hair.

"Still beautiful though. How about we get a cup of coffee."

"That sounds nice, but we should be getting home. Nicky had a bad day," she said quietly so that Nicky wouldn't hear. "Katie, baby, do you want to stay the rest of the day?'

"Uh-huh. I want to stay with my friends."

"How about I take little Katie here home when school's finished? I'm here for the rest of the day. Then maybe we could catch up a bit."

Linda looked at the ecstatic face of Katie. "Okay, sure. I'll see you in a few hours than."

"After milk and crackers," Mike replied with a smile.