- Bebe -
The drive to Butters' house was short, but her thoughts spun, she had no idea what they would do. It was the first meeting. Her idea, but for once, she didn't know what she wanted to do with this new experience.
Her thoughts drifted to memories of Wendy. And she was absorbed in them as she drove.
She took at her locker, getting her books and notebooks for math and english, her next two classes before lunch. As usual, her locker was next to her best friend's. Wendy Testaburger. She approached now, spinning the combination lock with exasperation.
Cheerfully, Bebe greeted her best friend.
A sideways glance was all she got at first, as Wendy dug in her locker.
"Something you need?"
If Bebe noticed the coldness, she made no comment, instead merely replying, "Well, today's Student government meeting is at 3:30, I was wondering if you were coming?"
The blond was the VP, Wendy the President, if only on paper. Bebe was her best friend, she kept her best friend at the top or as near to the top of the clubs she no longer attended, because that's what best friend's did.
The locker slamming closed seemed too loud for the hall as Wendy finally turned her full attention to her "best friend".
"I have better things to do."
"Oh..., okay." Bebe hid her disappoint and shined a smile at her best friend before said friend, turned the other way and went on to her next class.
Her smile faltered, as she watched her friend walk away.
She knew all the activities Wendy was in, because she was in almost all of them too, not that Wendy really attended any of them anymore.
They were juniors now, everyone thought it was a pretty even split for who would be valedictorian between Token, Wendy, and Kyle. As long as the school officials never found out Wendy didn't really attend her extracurriculars anymore anyway. The only one she really partook in, was volleyball. One of the few that Bebe wasn't interested in, she couldn't stand to accidentally break a perfectly painted nail. But, if she knew of the practice and game times, she tried to attend to support her best friend.
She went to her own class, still puzzling over Wendy's increasingly odd behavior, they had stopped hanging out, outside of school when they began high school. Wendy claimed she had things to do. Bebe hadn't pressed what could be more important, she was..., preoccupied with her own life and pursuing Kyle, not that he ever accepted a date from her. Add that, to her growing list of extra curricular activities and plans for the first South Park Shelter for the Abused, Bebe didn't notice the crucial changes happening in her best friend.
All too soon, they were parked in front of Butters' house, Kenny had already gotten out and had turned back to ask if she was coming.
"Oh..., yeah sorry." She mumbled, pulling the keys from the ignition and stuffing them into a pocket before unbuckling and climbing out of the car herself.
"Are you all right?" Kenny asked as they stood at the door, not reaching for the knob yet.
"...Yeah. Just thinking."
He offered a small smile before going for the door and letting the two of them in, where Stan, Butters and Pete already were standing around in the kitchen. She joined them after a moment's hesitation.
Butters rattled off what drinks he had available, allowing people to help themselves. Stan grabbed a soda, tossing one to Pete and Kenny, before asking her if she wanted one. She declined, instead going around Stan to the sink to get a glass of water.
Barely a minute passed before Craig and Tweek also joined everyone else in the kitchen. Craig was tossed a soda and Tweek said he was good as he had his coffee still.
After that, it was, sort of awkward. Craig plopped himself on the couch, Tweek joined him immediately, and Butters took the arm chair, Stan and Pete sat near each other on the floor, backs to the tv, their sodas placed in front of the them on the carpet. Kenny took the other open spot on the couch and Bebe sat on the floor closer to Pete but across from Butters.
"So... What should we do?" Butters asked tentatively.
"We could discuss what works for us and what doesn't?" Bebe suggested.
Murmurs of agreement but no one seemed keen to start.
"Unhealthy as hell, but I like to drink." Stan began, "That isn't to say it's the only thing I do. I also do deep breathing, I used to meditate too, but I haven't been able to in a few years. I'll also listen to music, sometimes I'll pace my room when I'm listening to it, sometimes I'll play a relatively low-thinking game, or a really intensive game without the music."
"I-I meditate too. And my medication. I'm pretty good at remembering to take it." Tweek was next to speak.
"I sometimes, smoke pot. But..., as Kenny pointed out, it doesn't always help. Mostly, I guess, I sit and brood, sometimes I'll put on music." Craig offered next.
Silence enveloped the group for a few minutes after that, as the others thought.
"I stay busy. But if I can't do that, I was told to try mindfulness, but I cannot stand it." Bebe went next.
"Dude same!" Stan exclaimed.
"That sucks! Mindfulness is so useful to me!" Tweek blurted, with a singular twitch to accompany his words.
"It's good that works for you," Bebe smiled, "I need to find something, aside from staying busy."
"I write, a lot," Pete offered, flipping his bangs out of his eyes.
"I also stay busy as much as possible. I guess, I use deep breathing to try to help. Sometimes I'll go work out as well, like a run or a bike ride, just something to get me out of the house," Butters shrugged.
Kenny was quiet, eventually he said what he did, "I read. I'm slow at it though. And sometimes I can't focus, so I'll play a game. Other times, I just lay there and listen to music."
"Do you guys have like..., a playlist you like to listen to?" Bebe asked.
They nodded and she continued, "Would you send it to the group chat?"
This was met with a mixture of shrugs and nods.
"I figure, we can make a master playlist of them, and occasionally, for the page, post a song a day."
"Sounds good," Pete mumbled, tapping away at his phone.
Conversation ebbed and flowed, eventually, Pete excused himself to have a smoke, Kenny followed him.
Bebe got up as well, to refill her cup, before rejoining the others in the living room. She finished the master playlist as Butters fiddled with the tv and Xbox.
"Could you put the playlist on?" She asked, sending it to the group chat.
Butters opened his phone and then turned his attention back to the xbox, opening Spotify. Soon, music filled the room, the first song, as it was on shuffle, wound up being "Yeah" by Seether.
Nodding in satisfaction, Butters placed the controller on the coffee table and sat back in the chair.
The other two returned to the living room and quiet conversations resumed.
Yet again, memories swam up and Bebe was helpless to defend herself from them.
She was sixteen, the party she was throwing was in full swing, drunk teens swayed to the music from her bluetooth speakers. She always threw the best parties. The blond mingled with everyone, eventually making her way to the kitchen. It was there she saw her best friend, making a drink.
"Wendy!" She squeed in happiness, rushing over to the black-haired girl.
"Hey," Wendy responded coolly, raising her red cup to her lips and taking a sip.
"How have you been?" Bebe asked conversationally as she made herself her own drink.
"Same as ever," Wendy replied, Bebe not picking up on the disinterest in her friend's voice.
"I didn't think you were coming!" Bebe smiled at her friend.
"You throw the best parties, of course I'm here." Wendy smiled, a smile that didn't reach her eyes, not that it was noticed.
"Are you here with anyone?"
"Nah. I don't have time for that sort of thing." Wendy was carefully maneuvering out of the kitchen.
Bebe was oblivious though, still talking to her best friend. "Awww, there are totally some cute boys here! You could land any of them~"
But Wendy was gone, melted into the crowd and Bebe was drinking and soon dancing, Wendy forgotten.
It was graduation day. A long affair, so much emotion.
Bebe hadn't seen Wendy in months, not in class, not at volleyball, nor any other activities.
At last, the ceremony part was over and she saw her with her parents, she ran over, but by the time she made it through the crowd, she was gone.
She had a party that night, and hoped Wendy would be there.
She was premixing drinks in the kitchen when a knock came at the door, she yelled that it was open and heard the person approaching.
Turning around she was delighted to see Wendy. She grinned at her and Wendy offered a small smile, yet again, not one that reached her eyes.
"I know we haven't really talked in a while, but I got a full ride scholarship. I'm, actually, leaving in a few days to get moved into my dorm."
"Oh my god! That's so awesome! I'm so happy for you!" Bebe gushed, giving her best friend a huge hug.
Bebe didn't notice that her friend didn't return the gesture.
The blond rambled on, about the party, about missing Wendy, about her own future plans.
Wendy barely commented, but she did help mix more drinks.
"I'm going to miss you." Bebe smiled as she lifted a red cup.
"Mmm," Wendy replied, also raising a cup, they clinked, taking a drink each.
After that, Bebe got caught up in the party, it was, the last time she saw her best friend, alive.
She shuddered as she returned to the present, she couldn't believe she had missed so many signs.
Her eyes welled with tears, dammit Wendy, she thought as a few tears escaped her tightly closed eyes. She took a deep breath, slowly exhaling.
It..., it wouldn't do any good to blame herself for not seeing it.
Gradually, everyone grew tired and didn't want to impose upon Butters. Bebe offered to drive anyone who wanted a ride home, Pete, Stan, and Kenny accepted, and all stood to leave. Craig and Tweek were first out the door, followed by Bebe and the others. She dropped everyone off, before returning home.
She sat in the driveway of her house for a few long minutes, the chill of the early morning seeping into the car. She couldn't blame herself. It didn't, it wouldn't change anything even if she did.
She sighed, before going inside. She dressed in her pyjamas and laid in bed, gazing up at the ceiling. Repeating to herself that blame got her no where, it wouldn't bring Wendy back. Eventually, she fell into an uneasy sleep.