[Kenny]
Life in south park returned to what passed for normal. Kenny still idly wondered if things ever got better. In any real sense.
Sure, things were back to baseline for the friend group, but did anything matter?
Wendy, one of the smartest kids to come out of this shithole of a place in Colorado, had taken her own fucking life. If someone like that, could fall that goddamn far, what the fuck chance did the rest of them stand?
Then again..., studies showed that higher intelligence lead to higher rates of depression, so maybe the rest of them would be safe. He snorted, if that was the rule, then why hadn't Token offed himself too? Or Kyle? Granted..., Kyle was bipolar.
Still. What did any of it matter? If all life is, is just going to work and paying bills. What's the point?
He sighed, he didn't used to be this pathetic. He partied, he had a good time.
But was he happy then?
He stared at the cup of Tweek Bros. coffee in his hands.
The question was easy enough to answer, no, not even then. When he was partying, drunk, high, having sex. He hadn't been happy. It was just a form of escape from his terrible upbringing. Things hadn't gotten better when he finished school. Sure, he had a job and his own place.
Life was still a goddamn horror show. Nothing was changing in the world or in his head. The world was fucked, how long before all his friends ended up just like Wendy?
A thought occurred to him then, Wendy had been an atheist, hadn't she? So..., maybe she wasn't in hell. He wondered, was he religious? He didn't think so, but when he died, he more often went to hell than other places. But maybe that was due to his curse.
He took a drink of his coffee and glanced around the shop. Butters was in his usual spot, Tweek was behind the counter with his dad, a long line of customers streamed to the door.
How could these people just get their coffees and go about their lives? Were they really so unbothered?
His attention drifted back to his coffee and he took another swig.
He wondered once more, what was the point of anything? If every road leads the same place, why try at all?
Idly, he wonders about therapy, he tried it briefly, around the time he was eighteen or nineteen. But he didn't give it more than a few months. He wonders as he sips his coffee, if therapy would be helpful. He knows Stan goes, or used to, when they were kids. As does Kyle, and Tweek had even gone when they were kids. Butters had also spoken of therapy. He wondered if it would be worth it. Maybe it would help challenge some of the things he was thinking.
He got another coffee and took his seat again, digging his phone out of his pocket, he used google to find therapists near enough to get to.
Eventually, his second coffee gone, Kenny found one, it would be a few weeks before he could get in to see them, and it would be a video call, thanks technology. He was willing to try therapy, that would be a start, right?
He scrolled through the pages Bebe had made, the shit was dark, but it made him feel a bit better, it was definitely comforting. Sighing, he finally left the coffee shop, going to Stark's Pond. He sat on the bench and gazed at the mostly frozen pond.
Wendy was gone. Those that lived in South Park still, that had been friends since preschool, had come together and made a community of sorts online. As he stared at the water, he still wondered if any of it mattered. He kept wondering why, but couldn't come up with any answers. Even asking Damien had proved fruitless. He "couldn't tell him anything because he was bound by rules". Kenny had argued with him over it countless times, but Damien never budged.
He got up and started to slowly wandering towards home. Lost in thought, or maybe just because life was fucked, a fucking huge tree branch crashed on him and his skull split open, it only took a few minutes before he was sitting in Hell again with Damien across from him.
"God fucking damn it," Kenny grumbled, flopped back into the comfortable couch in Damien's office.
"You really do have the worst luck," Damien commented without looking up from the papers he was going through.
"Fuck you," Kenny mumbled, no real venom behind the words.
He was mostly used to this by now, he was just tired.
The blond relaxed on the couch, closing his eyes. He idly wondered how long he would be here this time.
Silence stretched between them, and eventually, Kenny awoke in his own bed.
Another trip to Hell, back home with the same thoughts and feelings as before.
He laid in his room in the dark for a while before eventually sending the group chat a message:
'Does any of this even matter?'
He put his phone down and loaded up Spotify on his xbox, playing "Up all night" by Blink-182. He put it on repeat and laid back down, letting the music wash over him. His eyes closed and eventually he dozed off, his dreams a confusing mix of Hell, Wendy, Stan, and Tweek.