This story is written by me and my friends Keath(me) Kurtis, Katrina, and Hannah.

I don't own harry potter in any way but I damn wish I wasn't single.

Keastervbn

--Harry was sitting on the roof of the Durslys home nude sunbathing on the roof, just behind the chimney.

He felt rather inadequate sitting next to the chimney so he decided to try an enlargement charm to even the odds.

"Opps" he exclaimed as he missed and accidentally hit the neighbors French poodle.

"Oh well," so harry just lay there and continued to sunbathe.

Petunia shouted up at harry, "get your lazy ass down here, we have company!"

"Shut up you old ugly cow!"

"What did you say? Get down here before I take my belt off…"

"I'm of age now u fat sack of old pettiness."

"How dare you I'm not petty…WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"I said, if you u take your belt off I still wont sleep with you."

Harry rushed into the kitchen and he thought he could hear Petunia say "damn."

At this moment in time, harry thought it would be rude not to make his appearance to the guests.

"So home slice, what's up my homey gee?"

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO YOUR ELDERS LIKE THAT!" Mr. Dursley said. " WHY ON GODS GREEN EARTH ARE YOU NOT WEARING PANTS!" Mr. Dursley screamed, "IM GOING TO COME OVER THERE AND SHOVE MY SONS FIST DOWN YOUR THROUGHT, AND UP YOUR ASS!"

"That would be a nice picture," Petunia muttered "but

Diddykins is at the smeltons having tea." Harry knew that this wasn't true because he had just saw him vandalizing the play park, smoking weed on corners and having oral sex on benches.

"Well I know that duddly is gay so he would definitely go for it."

"MOTHERFAUCKER, ILL KILL YOU" Mrs. Dursly said

"DUDDERS ISNT GAY" she screamed as Vernon died from overexerting his masturbation in the corner.
Suddenly the living room exploded killing Petunia (Vernon was already dead)

"Harry its me, Ron. Im here with the car."

"Holy shizzlebofizzle la tizzle, I thought it was in the forbidden forrest."

"it was but we went in there, found it and tamed it again."

"right… whatever."

(I have no idea why I'm doing this and Keath has really got to get a girlfriend! Katrina Hughes…)

(katrina)

--Harry got into the car and sat on the front seat. He waited until the car had taken off before he changed into the clothes that Ron handed him.

They drove for a few minutes of silence until, Ron turned to Harry and asked, " Lets go practice magic!"

Harry readily agreed, so they drove to the nearest muggle's house and broke in. They tiptoed upstairs into the room of the nearest person, which seemed to be a young girl of eight.

They decided that Ron should go first, so Ron took out his wand and said, " Glorious remious." And the girl's clothes immediately disappeared. Looking the girl up and down Ron whistled and Harry smacked him upside the head.

Glaring at Harry, Ron turned and walked out of the room, only to come face to face with lord Voldemort the second. (The first one had died in a freak car accident).

Screaming like the little girl that he was, Ron turned and ran only to be turned into a girl by lord Voldemort the second. Who immediately started hitting on him.

Hearing voices Harry stepped out of the room, saw what was happening and yelled, "Don't you dare hit on my Ronny poo!"

Pulling out his wand, Harry went to cast a spell to turn lord Voldemort the second into a girl, but it backfired turning him into a girl. "Damn it." He swore as he saw what had happened.

(man ketrina, I never knew you were sexist.

The startling revelation that Harry was gay shocked everyone but Draco with whom he had been dating in secret for about a year.

"I am so confused" said Ginny.