I awoke suddenly making my heart race. Someone was in my house. I decided to lie still and grab the intruder when he entered my bedroom. I could hear cupboard doors being opened and closed, who ever it was was not being very stealthy. Then I felt a familiar emotional trace. Damn him what is he doing in my house? I got up and went into the kitchen to confront my prowler.

"Is there something I can help you find?" I asked leaning back on the wall.

Up popped a bedraggled Tsuzuki from behind the refrigerator door, from the look of him he had been out carousing again. I wonder who he conned into going with him this time. Usually Watari is the chosen one.

"Hey 'soka" he slurred "What you doing here? And why are you half naked?"

Damn, I just had on my shorts, I wasn't expecting company. "Baka this is my house. How the hell did you get in?" I watched as he tried to remember.

Tapping his temple to shake the memory from his wine addled brain he said, "Oh sorry 'soka I just teleported in. I was thinking about you just awhile ago and I must have just ended up here instead of home. Do you want some food," he smiled lopsidedly.

"No thanks. I was sleeping by the way, which is what you should be doing. So are you going home now?" I hope so because if not it's going to be long night.

"Ahh 'soka you're no fun. Can I stay pleasssee?" he whined.

What a pain in the ass. "Fine I suppose you are better off here than randomly teleporting. I'll get you some blankets." What a fool. I wonder why he said he was thinking of me. He probably wanted to borrow some money.

"Here you can sleep it off out here. Don't make a mess ok." I gave him my sternest look.

"You're just like Tatsumi. Meanie." Tsuzuki sat down on the floor and finished off my fried rice. "Yum this is good, did you make it?" he looked up at me with those beautiful eyes. "Why didn't you go with me tonight? You might have had fun."

"I hate being out with all those people, you know that. Come here you are making a mess of yourself." Boy he's a sloppy drunk. "Let me take your coat and give me your shoes I'll put them away." I waited as he struggled with his shoelaces. "Geez Tsuzuki are you that drunk?" I bent down and knocked his long slim fingers away. "Here let me do it."

"No, I'm not that drunk, well maybe a little, but not so much. I..ah…'soka why?" he trailed off.

"Why what?" I successfully removed shoes, socks and shirt. While I was hanging them up, Tsuzuki managed to stand up. I watched him struggle to remember what he was trying to say. "Yes?"

"Oh...hell I don't know. Never mind." Tsuzuki stood there staring at me.

The street light touched his skin and it seemed as if he shimmered. I couldn't move away. I knew I was staring like a love sick puppy, but he didn't notice. An unbidden thought raced through my mind. I wonder what it would be like to touch that skin. What he would do if I did. I wonder if it is as soft as it looks. I wish I could just walk away, but he looks so defenseless without his shirt. STOP! What am I doing? I told myself I would never let Tsuzuki know I cared for him. I just need to be satisfied being his friend and co-worker, nothing more. If anything were to happen to me he would blame himself even more. That's the last thing he needs, another death to blame himself for. But gods he looks wonderful. I could feel the familiar tightness in my chest whenever I thought about touching Tsuzuki. It was a mixture of pain and melancholy. Just because I'm young doesn't mean I can't have these feelings, right?

"Hisoka you OK?" Tsuzuki was waving his hand in front of my eyes.

"Oh yeah, sorry I'm just tired. I'm going to bed. See you in the morning." I may have gone to bed, but sleep was going to be hard to capture. I just couldn't get him out of my mind. His eyes are so compelling. I could just sit and gaze in to those amethyst pools all night. Makes me feel that if I could just dive in I could catch a glimpse at what lies in his soul. ...Listen to me, I sound like a love sick school girl. Is this what I feel? Love? No! I can't. I could hear Tsuzuki shuffling around getting ready for bed. I reached out to feel his emotional energy. Good thing I was laying down. The wine must have made him careless because he was barely shielding himself. His emotions were so powerful. They were making my head throb. He seemed to swing from anxiety to lust to guilt. What is he doing? Wait, I don't want to know. Ahh just go to sleep. Now who is the Baka? I reprimanded myself again and tried to sleep

I had just drifted off when I felt Tsuzuki sit on my bed. "Mmm... what are you doing?"

"I can't sleep. The street light is too bright and your house makes weird noises. Can I stay in here?" He asked me softly like a small child asking to sleep with his parents during a storm.

How could I say no? It's what I want isn't it? In my heart I know it is exactly what I want.

"Sure just don't snore, ok." I scooted over in my small bed. I felt his warmth penetrate the blankets and I wanted to reach out to him.

"Thanks 'soka. Your bed is soft." He wiggled around a bit pulling the blankets sideways.

"Hold still. Geez."

Tsuzuki, sound asleep, rolled over and snuggled up to my back. I was overwhelmed by his body heat. A warm, strong arm wrapped around my chest. He felt wonderful, so tall and lean. His defined muscles felt solid and safe. Where his skin met mine I became aware of a growing pleasurable sensation. I pressed by thin frame closer wanting to be engulfed by him. If he wasn't asleep I don't think I could do this. I reached back with my free arm and touched his shoulder.

"I thought you were asleep." Tsuzuki murmured.

I jumped at his voice. "I can't sleep, you're to distracting." I snapped not meaning to.

I felt him tense just a little. I rolled on to my back so I could see him better.

"I'm sorry Hisoka was I twitching too much?" He sounded very sober now.

"No not that sort of distraction." I hoped my words sent the message I wanted.

"Oh" Tsuzuki said. He leaned up on his elbow looking down at me." What do you mean?"

I was glad it was dark because I knew I was blushing. "Oh..ah..You are just too hot to lie next to." I lied

He laughed. "Yes I suppose I am. So you finally noticed how attractive I am."

"Tsuzuki! What are you spouting off about?" Crap! I was so nervous, yet thrilled. Did he feel the same? His emotions were so mix right now I couldn't tell what he was feeling.

We both lay very still. I felt his chest rise with each breath. I tried to slow mine, but the more I thought about him the faster it came.

"Hisoka? I think I know what you are saying. Why else would you let me into your bed?" He smiled.

Tsuzuki began stroking my stomach. I thought I would die. Before I could stop it a squeak escaped my throat. My god he knows, he has to. I tried for so long to hide my feelings. I wanted to protect him. I have no right to burden him with my love.

"Look at me." Tsuzuki asked turning my face so he could look into my eyes. "Tell me what you want." he said lustfully.

"I...ah..Oh damn it Tsuzuki! I want you alright. I want you to touch me and hold me." I said in a rush, sure that if I stopped I would never tell him. There was no going back now. All my self control and need to protect him quickly drained away with those tender touches.

"Why didn't you just ask? Come here; lay your head on my shoulder." Tsuzuki pulled me close.

It felt so comfortable, as if we were meant to be this way. I have never felt so wonderful it was intoxicating.

"Hisoka I asked you why you didn't ask me to hold you. Am I such a fool you don't trust me?"

"It's not that." I traced small circles on his chest. "I guess I just can't ask for stuff I want." I paused for a deep breath "Tsuzuki what were you doing when you said you were thinking about me?"

"Oh I was just listening to some music at Tatsumi's house. Watari and I went there after we left the bar. He was still up so we stayed for a while. Anyway the music reminded me of you. It was sad but sweet. I pictured you and me dancing. Silly, Huh? That's when I told Tatsumi I had to go." He tensed as if he said too much.

I tipped my head up so I could see him. "I see. Did we make good dance partners?"

"Of course silly it was just a fantasy. Oh..ah.." he went silent.

"Tsuzuki, what if I told you I have a fantasy also?" My heart pounded so hard I knew for sure he could feel it. "I want more from you than just to be held. I want you. Will you push me away because I need you?" Please don't say no, please, please.

"Hisoka I would never turn you away. In fact I would like very much to be more for you." He said softly. "I have wanted you to let me get close, but you are so closed off all the time. I figured I had no chance of ever gaining your affection."

I then did the one thing I have been waiting so long to do. I pulled Tsuzuki's lips to mine. The sensation was electric it ran from my lips straight to my center. He kissed me back gently almost hesitantly as if he was afraid. I pressed further and parted his lips with the tip of my tongue. He tasted of rice and wine. I reached up and ran my fingers along his jaw line. I could feel myself tremble with suppressed longing. I hoped Tsuzuki didn't perceive it as a sign of fear.

"Hisoka," he breathed. He pushed me to my back and gazed into my eyes. "Do you realize this will change everything between us?"

"I do. I have thought a lot about what would happen if I showed you how I felt. I just don't care anymore about the consequences. I have watched and waited as others vie for your attention. I would get angry and jealous, yet I had no claim on you since I never really accknowlaged my feelings for you. I am a coward."

"No Hisoka you are not a coward, just unsure of yourself." He smiled and leaned in to kiss my cheeks, chin and neck.

I moaned as my beloved found an especially sensitive place on my neck. His strong hands were exploring my chest. I felt him hesitate when his fingers found the raised scares of my curse, but he didn't stop. My skin was on fire, each gentle stroke made me impatient for the next. I kissed Tsuzuki harder wanting to get closer to him. I needed to touch more of him. I reached down and ran my hand along his thigh. I couldn't wait; I did not want to take it slow. I wanted Tsuzuki now.

"Hmm...Hisoka wait." He pushed me away a little.

I growled in frustration. "No Tsuzuki, I can't wait, I want you now." I surprised myself at my own aggressiveness.

"I can tell. We have plenty of time no need to rush. I don't want our first time to be quick. I want to feel your skin, see what makes you squirm, I want to learn the curves of your body. Please Hisoka let me worship you for just a little while."

I lay stunned. I never realized Tsuzuki could be so patient. I assumed he would rush ahead like he always does with everything. "I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry. Come here."

He pulled me into his warm chest and held me tight. Swiftly I found myself on my back his tall body covered my embarrassingly small one. Kisses slow and sensual caressed my skin. It was as if he was trying to memorize the texture of it. I became aware of the stiff hairs on his thigh prickling my own legs. His hip bone as sharp against my own. Skin, soft as I imagined, brushed across my stomach. A tempting heat radiating from his groin began to match my own. The urgency returned to burn in my blood. I tried to push Tsuzuki to bring my desire to its peak. A small groan escaped my throat.

"Shh." He pushed me back down. "Shh. Let me show you something wonderful."

I tensed as he trailed his lips and tongue down my chest then my stomach...and OH. His warm wet mouth enclosed my arousal. A jolt of pure pleasure raced through my soul. I grasped Tsuzuki's hair trying not to pull, as I rode the waves of delight. I felt myself tremble again. Tsuzuki stopped and I thought I would die. "Don't stop please." I knew I was begging but I didn't care.

"Not to worry" he grinned wickedly at me. "Just teasing you." He lowered his head again to deliciously torment my body. No matter how much I squirmed he continued the tender caresses.

I could feel the heat prickle my skin making moisture drip from my brow. My love's mouth moved faster and I griped the sheets in a spasm of ecstasy. I thrust my hips up to meet his mouth as his tongue pushed me to the edged and over. The intense feeling of release was nothing I have ever experienced before. It was so powerful, so exquisite. When I could open my eyes I saw beautiful amethyst ones smiling up at me as he rested his head on my boney hip.

"Nice?"

"Very." I panted "Better than nice. My god Tsuzuki I didn't realize you were so talented."

"You think so? Well that is just the beginning."

I could see the lusty promise in his eyes. He pressed his swollen arousal in to my leg. He had been so wonderfully patient, putting my pleasure before his. Making me feel safe and comfortable. A wonderful grateful feeling blossomed in my chest. I reached for his face and stroked the smooth skin. "Come up here I want to kiss you."

He moved gracefully up to my waiting lips. I tasted myself on his tongue and I immediately wanted to know his flavor. A flood of doubt overcame me, what if I can'twhat if he doesn't like it? Damn I have no real experience with thisHe must have sensed my trepidation for he reassured me with whispered words.

"It will be fine." He gently applied pressure on my shoulders nudging me down. I brushed his stomach and thighs with my fingers. I heard him moan softly. Lower I went feeling his tip against my lips. Another intake of breath from Tsuzuki encouraged me to continue. I used my tongue to tease him and make him sigh. He tasted so very good. I needed more, so relaxing my throat, I put as much as I could in my mouth. His thighs tensed with pleasure. Emboldened, I began to move like he had for me. The more he arched his back the faster I stroked. He began to tremble beneath me and then he grabbed my head. A shot of warm stickiness hit the back of my mouth. His body convulsed several more time until he laid still. I sat up and looked down at his angelic face. Swallowing, I tasted Tsuzuki's essence.

"Hisoka" He sighed. "I…I love you."

I crawled up and placed my head in the hollow of his shoulder. I couldn't answer with words, but I hugged him tight and kissed the side of his neck. With his arm wrapped around me I fell into a contented daze. Soon I would be rested and ready for more.