Disclaimer: JKR owns all.

Notes: Written many years ago, to thank my own James for the support she continued to give me. Clearly written before OotP came out, so it's AU by default. Slash, angst.

A Dedication

I feel like a real heel sometimes, you know that Jamie? To which you will reply, "But you are a heel, Siri. Or maybe an ass."

Maybe I'm both. I don't know. But I do know that I love you.

Yes, you read that right. I love you. And yes, this is going to turn into one of those long, sentimental letters, like the ones I send to Remus. Because Jamie, I love you too, just as much as I love Remy. There's just a difference in the way I love you.

You are my twin. My brother. My best friend, and the other half of my brain. You've been by my side before I was even old enough to know that you can't get through life alone.

Sometimes you hear about people who have been friends for twenty years or something. There's just one thing; these people are usually older. Sure, twenty years is a big deal, but considering their ages, they must have met when they were our current age or older. Twenty years, great. Staying friends from age seven to age nineteen, now that's impressive. I mean, think about it. How many changes do we go through in those childhood years? I know I'm not the same person I was when we first met, and neither are you. But those changes have only brought us closer, and that is an accomplishment.

I don't tell you how much you mean to me as often as I should, Jamie. Truth of the matter is, whenever I even think of you, my heart swells with love for you, like it does for Remy. Only there isn't that element of fear when I think of you. Course, we both know the fear is from my current situation with him.

For that, I also thank you. Jamie, I don't know what I would have done had you not been supportive of me and Remus. I really don't know what would have happened, because I love you both and don't want to give either of you up. I'm glad I didn't have to.

And I'm sorry for those few months there where we were slightly estranged. I knew it was happening, but I couldn't help myself. I was addicted to Remy's company. I'm honestly surprised it took me so long to figure out what the difference was. Oh well, you both tease me about being oblivious. What can I say? I'm an idiot.

The other day when you told me how important I was to you over lunch, that really meant a lot to me. I wanted to respond in kind, but I'm no good at expressing my emotions out loud like that. I prefer to write them down and keep them organized. Besides, love is a really hard thing to put into words, as attempting to write love letters to Remus has taught me. I've found that the best way to do it is to be honest and frank. The emotion comes through, even if it doesn't sound like some great literary work.

Jamie, I want to be able to call you over for lunch fifty years from now, sixty, a hundred. And I want us to always know each other, and be this close, or closer. Because life would just be way too weird if I didn't know you anymore.

How many times have we read each other's minds? How long can we sit in the same room and do our own things and still have it be a comfortable silence? How open can we be with each other about everything? I mean, I tell you things I can't tell my mum! And you know how close I am to my mum!

So, James, I say it again. I love you. I always will. I'm here for you, no matter what, always. Even if we don't talk for thirty years, due to some circumstance beyond our control, if you call me out of the blue and need a favor, I'll do it. Anything for you.

Thank you.