Ranma ½
Chapter 6
Tsukimaonichuan:Spring of Drowned Moon Cat
Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.
I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave.
If you like, please review, as well as let me know of any spelling errors. I will then re-upload this chapter when I do my next upload.
If you like, check out my other stories.
I also plan to start sending these out to have someone else proofread them before I post them. Volunteers are welcome.
Now, on with the show.
The Senshi were currently battling the newest creations of the Negaverse: The Lollipop Guild of Youmas; current membership: forty-eight Oompa Loompa Youmas.
"You know, these guys might actually be some trouble," commented Sailor Titania, known as Akane Tendo. "These guys fight as a group, back the other up, and at least know how to fight."
"I agree," said Sailor Charon, known as Nabiki Tendo. "They might actually last for more than a half hour."
"Oh, they are such fun to play with," said Sailor Triton, also known as Kasumi Tendo, as she impaled an Oompa Loompa Youma on her trident.
Meanwhile, the Inners were fighting for their lives while the Outer Moon Senshi were enjoying their battle. Presently, they were doing their "keep blasting till their dead" maneuver.
As such, only fourteen Youmas were killed, and Sailor Moon had a -5 score as she occasionally blasted her teammates more than the Youma.
"OW! DAMN IT, MEATBALL HEAD! I AIN'T THE ENEMY!"
Correction, the score for Sailor Moon was -6.
And such the battle continued. The Outer Moon Senshi were quickly taking care of the Oompa Loompa Youma that would attack them, Sailor Jupiter was in a close second, followed by Sailor Mars, then Sailor Mercury—though no one was quite certain how she had slain three Youma, and finally Sailor Moon at—
"OUCH!"
...-7.
"VENUS CRESCENT BEAM CANNON!"
A beam of pure yellow light streaked down the street, vaporizing the Youma in its path, while leaving the Senshi untouched.
Before the other Oompa Loompa Youma could regroup, a grey blur ran through them, before appearing on the other side of the street next to the Senshi.
Sailor Titania could only stare in awe as her dream hunk; Omega Knight, appeared before her, slowly sliding his sword into his sheath. When it finally clicked, the remaining Youma quickly turned to dust.
He turned bowing to the Senshi. "We are sorry we took so long, but my companion needed to wait until you were safely to the sides of the street before using her cannon attack."
Question were cut off as a new Senshi appeared beside him, surprising even the martial artists of the group at the speed she had appeared, none being able to follow her. "Hello. I am Sailor Venus, formerly Sailor V, and this is my boyfriend, Omega Knight."
Sailor Titania's world cracked. He...he's already taken!
Sailor Moon bowed. "Thanks for saving us!"
Sailor Mars rubbed her bruised rear from where Sailor Moon's Tiara attack had impacted after the Oompa Loompa Youma dodged it. "Both from the enemy and our leader."
"WAH! I WAS TRYING MY BEST!"
The rest of the group sweatdropped.
Sailor Charon stepped forward. "Well, if our great ranks of leaders are done crying, we were wondering if you would like to join us. We would love to hear why you came here to Japan, as well as any possible training you could offer."
Sailor Titania's world grew back. Yes, training! We can train closely, as I develop his interest in me by growing faster than Sailor Blondie. And while we are practicing closely, our bodies covered with sweat...
Now, she more resembled Usagi at seeing an open All-You-Can-Eat Buffet.
Much like Sailor Moon was doing now to the poster on the utility pole in front of her, advertising said Buffet.
Omega Knight appeared to be considering it, while Sailor Venus snuggled up to his arm, much to the distaste of the currently single Senshi.
This included Sailor Triton, who was still most upset that Dr. Tofu was hiding from her. She was in the mood lately, and decided he would need to be...punished...for avoiding her.
Said doctor was in his supply closet, hugging his skeleton, jabbering about insane martial arts daughters and their ability to not know when no means no.
He nodded. "Agreed. It would be best if we worked together and finally finish off this infestation upon our world. Where should we meet?"
The Senshi huddled. They had only three options.
Option #1 was to meet at the top of the Junior High School, in case this was a trap. No one voted for this, as Sailor Mercury confirmed that Sailor Venus was a real Senshi and oddly that Omega Knight had very little magic to him.
This of course raised the happiness of Sailor Titania, as it proved that the famed Tuxedo Baka was really a wuss, as Omega Knight had far less magic than him and was kicking easily ten times more ass.
Option #2 was to meet at the Cherry Hill Shrine. But Rei's grandfather was currently waiting for the newest issue of Victoria's Secret as well as other...questionable...materials, so he was going to be hanging around too much.
Rei never did get the image out of her head of her grandfather receiving underground Hentai Manga of the Sailor Senshi.
Option #3 was the Dojo at the home of the Outer Moon Senshi, which Makoto knew very well, as they had started to train her as well. Since Sailor Pluto occasionally made appearances there, it was decided that would be the meeting place.
Thus, directions were given, and the two groups parted.
At the home of the Outer Moon Senshi, Kasumi began to bake up a feast of treats, as Nabiki straightened the house and Akane prepared the dojo for guests. Even though they had only lived there for a little over a month, they still took great pride in their home.
Akane was hoping that Omega Knight was one Ranma Saotome. If he was, then the engagement between families would ensure she got her dream hunk.
Nabiki was considering that possibility as well, but wondering both what would the engagement do to the possible new team dynamics. She also had to consider that from what Setsuna had told them, they would all be living for a long time, and he was possibly one of two available males to...pass...that time with, unless Artemis was really an Adonis in his human form, if the blasted drunk ever remembered how to do it.
Kasumi was preparing the snacks, while dreaming of pouring hot chocolate and honey on the bound bodies of one MIA doctor and one masked male hero from Great Britain.
Mamoru Chiba was posing in front of his bathroom mirror. "Damn, I'm manly!"
He missed the fact that the birds watching him were laughing their asses off.
He had been day dreaming about who his Princess might be. He knew he was to protect her, and perhaps one day marry her, so he was trying to figure out which Senshi she was.
About the only thing he was certain about was that it couldn't be Sailor Moon. In his opinion, she was clumsy, whiney, ditzy... Basically, she was a 'Get Smart' version of a magic girl.
Oh well, he had the time, and the other Senshi would provide a welcome filling in his dating calendar.
Except, once again, for Sailor Moon. She...she ate way too much for a normal human.
Ami sat before her mother while they had lunch at the hospital. "Mom, do you know anyone named Genma or Ranma Saotome?"
Dr. Mizuno paused in eating her salad. "Why would you like to know, dear?"
Ami didn't miss that. It was common knowledge that if a parent answered a question with a question, they knew a hell of a lot more than they wanted to tell you. "I met him today. Seemed like a nice boy."
Dr. Mizuno put done her fork and looked at her daughter. "He was here over a decade ago; he was brought in with multiple injuries. You see, his worthless father tried to teach him some banned martial arts technique. The fat bastard didn't even arrive till a few days later, trying to steal back his son. Instead, he left a note for payment promising his son would marry my daughter in place of payment for his son's treatment."
She resumed eating her salad. "If that boy still has a kind heart, I'd be amazed. If so, then go for it. Just keep his father away from your children."
Ami nodded and returned to her meal, internally rejoicing and doing the Snoopy dance. By honor, she was possibly engaged to Omega Knight.
And people said a quiet wallflower like her would never get a good guy.
"I promise on my heart, dear," said the exasperated Ikuko Tsukino, tired of her daughter not wanting to either believe her or take her word as truth, "when I was younger, my friend; Nodoka Saotome, and I promised to unite or families through marriage. We even signed a paper to that effect. And yes, she did have a son named Ranma, though he would be about eighteen by now. He left twelve years ago on a training trip. She found her husband and kicked him out of the clan for losing him. But if this is really No-chan's Ranma; then let me know. His mother has so wanted to see her son."
"YES! VICTORY IS MINE!" Usagi ran towards her room, planning on choosing an outfit to meet her fiancé in, when she tripped on a dust bunny. "BLAST! VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE, FOUL DUST BUNNY!"
"So," said the glowing Rei, "you promised me to the son of this guy after he agreed to do so, so you would teach him how to fight demons?"
"Um..." Hino was a little worried. His granddaughter had a smile at the mention that she had been engaged to one Ranma Saotome. But the fact her aura was out and even the Sacred Flame appeared to be slowly sliding away from the two suggested he may be in some trouble. "Yes, I even had a paper signed to that effect."
Rei maintained her "she-bitch from Hell" appearance, trying to keep her aura to appear as pissed, while inside, she was dancing in a field of lilacs. She had scored a possible perfect man, and didn't have to worry about the forty-something deadbeats that were the only source of flirting she had as she worked at the Shrine, or at a private school.
"Yes, Ms. Kino," said Keitaro Tanaku for the fifth time. As the lawyer for the Kino family, he took care of many of Makoto's needs like she was his own daughter.
That included any filed papers by either parent towards engagements. He didn't like them, and he had no desire to force any on Makoto. After all, he could easily claim that the paperwork was lost, or that the parents had not made him aware of it, and as such, he could easily have it annulled without any loss of honor.
But Makoto was currently hopping up and down at the fact that she was engaged by written agreement to the son of Nodoka Saotome, then daughter of the clan head of Clan Saotome.
Plus, if he was Omega Knight, he was taller than her, a great martial artist, and would be a perfect companion for her.
Yes, by honor, she would...sadly...have to marry him.
Hopefully, her new teammate would understand. Honor was so important to her.
Minako stopped as Ranma shivered again in her hands.
They had left the café a few minutes earlier when a old lady washing her sidewalk had turned Ranma back into a moon cat, and she was beginning to worry that her advisor/sensei/partner/future-father-of-her-many-children was getting sick.
Ranma, however, was feeling new levels of fear, far surpassing anything Lynn had even been able to do when she rarely caught him. Someone was making devious plans for him. He was positive.
"Um...Minako?"
She stopped. Ranma would never talk in public unless it was both important and no one would hear or observe them. "Yes?"
"I sense great danger coming for us."
The Senshi had all gathered at the dojo an hour before Sailor Venus and Omega Knight were to arrive. They had decided it would be prudent to discuss some things first like—
"WHAT?"
Well, like the fact that each one was engaged by honor to Ranma Saotome, the possible identity of Omega Knight. They had all guessed that Ranma was both this new moon cat they had seen at lunch, as well as Omega Knight.
The Tendo sisters were stunned. Genma had often preached about honor, despite how little he actually showed. This just proved that moving out had been the best idea.
Ami was upset. She finally had a decent shot at a viable intelligent hunk...and it was being threatened by her teammates.
She would need to...plan.
Usagi began mentally cursing that dust bunny who had tripped her. Not doubt it was part of its diabolical plan to prevent her from being happy. She mumbled more to herself as she ate her prepared snack, which strangely looked like the new expensive cat food that her mom had just bought for Luna.
But the tastes...
Rei knew she would be spending hours in front of the Sacred Fire to get it to tell her exactly how to acquire her wayward fiancé, and show him that she was the perfect girl for him. Maybe he could help her get good enough to avoid Usagi's attacks.
Makoto knew she was in trouble. True, she was just as good a cook as Kasumi, slightly below the fighting abilities of the Tendo sisters, but she was well rounded.
She decided if worse came to worse, she would play the "orphaned little girl" card to win him.
Luna was very pissed. If the hunky moon cat turned into a human, it didn't matter to her. It just meant he could acquire the stuff she wanted; like a diamond collar, food that Usagi wouldn't steal from her, catnip... But she'd been without for over 10,000 years, and she'd be damned she'd let this hunk get away.
Damn it, cats need nookie too!
"So, what do we do now?" asked Akane. She had been hoping that just this once, Genma's stupidity wasn't that deep.
Worse, if he was apparently engaged to Senshi, then how many more girls would pop up? How many of them would be Senshi?
Across Japan and parts of East Asia, one hundred and forty-seven girls sneezed. This included the self defined "Youma Magnet", Naru.
Ami spent a long time considering this. With this many girls vying for the male gift to the Senshi, they needed to first get him away from Sailor Venus. A smile that looked more at home on Beryl's face appeared on hers. "Well, first I say we decide if we believe Sailor Venus is the Princess."
"Huh?" She had just lost all of the other girls.
Well, except Usagi. Rei had thrown a cookie past her nose when Usagi had been creeping closer and closer to Rei's manga, and the Senshi of the Moon was currently huddled in a corner, devouring the cookie like a nervous rat.
Ami went into Teacher Mode. "Simply. If she is the Princess we have been searching for, then she is engaged to Tuxedo Kamen, and thus...cannot be in a relationship with Omega Knight."
"But I thought I was the Princess?" asked Usagi, now back at the table and on the hunt for more cookies without protection.
Unless, of course, those cookies were made by Akane.
Damn, those things bit back, and even Usagi's stomach barely held them back.
"Listen, Meatball-head, do you want to marry Tuxedo Baka, because we can arrange that."
Usagi blinked, about ready to start crying for being insulted, when a miracle happened: blood flow to her brain reached epic proportions. She was beginning to have a train of thought.
If I am the Princess, then I have to marry Tuxedo Mask.
If I marry him, I can't marry Ranma.
Maybe I could marry both?
I must have them both!
Nah, Luna would never stop griping at me.
Hmm, so then I must say that I am not the Princess.
If I am not the Princess, then I can have Ranma.
If I have Ranma, he can buy me ice cream every day.
Mmm, Ice Cream!
Ice cream with sprinkles...
Ice cream with hot fudge on the chest of Omega Knight...
Meanwhile the other Senshi were scared. Usagi had been still for three minutes.
After checking to ensure she wasn't dead, as well as confirm that yes, she appeared to have a little turning hourglass in her eyes to indicate that she was processing, they decided to move on.
"So," began Rei, "we simply have to confirm that Sailor Venus is the Princess we've been looking for, dump the Baka on her, and then we have a free-for-all for our fiancé?"
The girls looked at each other. "Well...it could work."
"Or," postulated Nabiki, "if he will be alive as long as us, who's to say we can't share. I mean, what are our options here, people? We have a drunken moon cat—"
"You stole my lesbians!" screamed Artemis from the other room, right before a mini-mallet from Akane conked him in the head, returning him to drunken slumber.
"As I was saying, we have a drunken moon cat, Tuxedo Cheerleader, and Omega Knight. It is sad to say, but at least we have a Grade A slice of beef for the next 10,000 or so years."
The others nodded, momentarily agreeing to a truce until Omega Knight/Ranma Saotome/Hubba-hubba was free from the true Princess.
Of course, after that, it was every lonely female for herself.
As Minako made her way down the street to the home of the Tendo sisters, she had Ranma in her arms. Currently, the moon cat/cursed man/God of Women was sleeping, as he had been having severe bouts of paranoia that day.
As she walked, Minako manipulated a bit of ki and chi to alter the placement of things inside Ranma's subspace pocket. She was intent on staking her claim that indeed, Ranma was hers.
Of course, should he change and be unable to locate his clothes to dress quickly...well, sometime you had to show off your man.
Omake by Lord Raa:
Ami sat before her mother while they had lunch at the hospital. "Mom, do you know anyone named Genma or Ranma Saotome?"
Dr. Mizuno put done her fork and looked at her daughter. "He was here over a decade ago; he was brought in with multiple injuries. You see, his worthless father tried to teach him some banned martial arts technique. The fat bastard didn't even arrive till a few days later, trying to steal back his son. Instead, he left a note for payment promising his son would marry my daughter in place of payment for his son's treatment."
She resumed eating her salad. "If that boy still has a kind heart, I'd be amazed. If so, then go for it. Just keep his father away from your children."
"SCORE!" Ami cheered. "All I need to do is pit the others against each other to tire themselves out and the meek shall inherit the studly!"
Omake by DhampyrX2:
...continuing after Lord Raa's...
That was all Ami managed to say before she let out a muted squeak and fell unconscious from a pressure point strike to the neck.
"Nice idea, Ami-chan. But age and experience will always beat out youth and enthusiasm. No matter how smart that youth is," Mrs. Mizuno remarked as her form shimmered to reveal Setsuna in her place.
From there it was a quick Amazon memory shampoo-ing to remove the Sailor Mercury's clever little idea from her head before her elder's work was truly done.
Just before the Senshi of Time faded from the room, she smirked and added, "It doesn't hurt to have a killer body, an ancient artifact that lets me know him inside and out, and a house full of lesbians to protect him and lull him into a false sense of security, either."
And somewhere under Minako's bed, a certain moon cat shivered.