Ranma ½

Chapter 8

Tsukimaonichuan:Spring of Drowned Moon Cat

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave.

If you like, please review, as well as let me know of any spelling errors. I will then re-upload this chapter when I do my next upload.

If you like, check out my other stories.

I also plan to start sending these out to have someone else proofread them before I post them. Volunteers are welcome.

Now, on with the show.

Usagi Tsukino was in a foul mood.

First was the fact that she discovered that the hunk that she was engaged to was engaged to several other girls. That didn't sit well for her, as from all appearances, they had been made for each other.

Well, those appearances were mostly in her own mind, of them performing several sexual scenes she had caught when their cable provider had offered free weekends of the Happy Times channel.

Talk about false advertising. I didn't see one happy cat in all those movies. 'Lovely kitties' my ass.

Second was the battle at the park after the meeting. The Dark Generals had all arrived with several youma, and proceeded to try and kill them. During the scuffle, Sailor Moon had lost one of the photos of Ranma.

The one with the excellent shot of his...dangly parts.

Not only was Nabiki going to charge her ¥1000 for a new copy, but none of the other girls would loan her their copies so she could take it to a photo-copy store.

But, thankfully, the battle had given them the opportunity to send Tuxedo Cheerleader—a.k.a. Tuxedo Kamen—after Sailor Venus.

The bastard just had to say I was too flat to be the Princess!

Well, she was certain when he transformed back, the cane wouldn't still be shoved up there.

Taking a deep breath, she smiled and began to walk home, excitement growing in her.

She still had the inside track. Her Mother had a formal agreement with Ranma's Mother for their marriage.

Well, true that it might interfere with any plans she had for after high school, considering the stud would never leave her bed if she had a word about it, she would gladly make such a sacrifice.

After all...family honor was on the line.

I'll have to hurry, though. I just know Makoto will play that "lonely little orphan" card.

So, she steeled herself at her front door, wondering where Luna had run off to, and opened it...

...to be tackled by a redheaded woman.

"Have you seen my son? Was he manly? Do I have grandbabies? Why aren't you answering me?"

Ikuko giggled. "No-chan, please release my daughter. She hasn't breast fed since she was one."

As Usagi got her breath back, she began to wonder if those dancing chocolate cakes in her vision would taste good.

But, her day hit another low point, as her future mother-in-law held up the remaining pictures she had. "Is this my son?"

Usagi could only gulp and nod as her own Mother came to look at those photos. "Damn, your Father is definitely going to start working out at the gym more."

"WAH! MY SON'S SO MANLY; HIS FIANCEE HAS DIRTY PICTURES OF HIM!"

Usagi disappeared into the house, promising to never show her face in the neighborhood again, after what Nodoka had just done.

Usagi entered her room to prepare for the omiai her Mother had set up, and had to do so quickly before her Father returned. After all, guys with shotguns tend to upset perspective mother-in-laws.

And she discovered Luna setting a formal kimono on her bed. "Luna?"

"You need to look your best. Now hurry and get this on. We need to hurry this up before the others catch on."

So intent was Usagi on capturing Ranma for herself, she failed to notice that Luna had also purchased a set of pictures.

As she dressed, she also failed to notice the devious eyes Luna had acquired.

Luna hid those eyes under the bed, hoping the mice didn't see them, or they would want their leader's remains back.

The moon cat had already devised a plan. Since it was doubtful she would acquire the hunk if he had human females as companions and she currently had no idea if or how she could acquire a human form, she needed to sneak herself into his paws.

So, it came down to a simple plan. First, she would secure the hunk for her charge. Then, while her charge was away at school...Luna would finally break her dry spell.

After all, Ranma is a part time moon cat, and as such, would be affected by moon cat tendencies.

She just had to hope for a short honeymoon, or that he moved in. After all, she wanted to enjoy her heat this time.

But this all depended on Usagi not making a circus fool out of herself, and not getting Nodoka to postpone the engagement until the next generation.

If Usagi did...then may Serenity help her, because Luna would kill her.

No one messes with a moon cat's nookie.

Usagi sat on her bed, staring unblinkingly at the door.

She was engaged to Ranma.

This was good.

Nodoka wanted grandbabies immediately.

That could be bad.

Nodoka didn't mind that Ranma turned into a cat.

This was good.

Nodoka wanted cute neko grandbabies through Luna and Ranma.

This could be bad.

I'm supposed to have his first litter...I mean, first child!

Luna was purring up a storm on Nodoka's lap. Yes, she shoots...she scores.

Now, they just had to wait for Minako to show up with their intended.

With Minako still attached to his arm, Ranma found his mind wondering on his way to finally meet his Mother.

The first thing was wondering why the idiot in the top hat looked so upset with him when Sailor Venus grabbed his arm. It wasn't like they had dated before. He didn't think they had dated before.

Of course, that took a back seat to wondering why Sailor Moon had then shoved the penguin's cane up his ass.

Another had been what the picture was that Sailor Moon had been trying to keep him from seeing. She seemed embarrassed that he had seen it, as well as pissed that the Dark Generals had stolen it. Maybe it was an embarrassing family photo of when she was younger.

He ignored it for now. Minako had wanted to meet his Mother as well, most likely to talk about something he knew it was best for him not to know.

After all, hearing girl talk tended to fry a man's mind. He recalled seeing a few guys at Minako's schools; teachers mostly, calling some long number to talk to girls and hear them talk with other girls. They usually ended up drooling and looking like their brains were gone.

He counted himself fortunate. When Minako's friends would visit, he was able to catch some sleep, as he didn't have to worry about surprise attacks from her when others might see.

Sighing—and thus not noticing Minako squeezing his arm to her chest, or the stares other girls were giving them—he continued on to the Tsukino home. He did have to wonder now what his Mother would think of him. He was living with a girl four years his junior, cursed to change into a talking cat, fought monsters, and was often tackled by his amorous charge.

What mother would love a son like that?

"WHAT?"

Normally, Minako was calm and caring, enjoying life.

Now, she was willing to bet she was putting out an aura close to demonic in power. She had just been told that her boyfriend/sextoy/sensei/advisor/future-spouse was engaged to another girl by his Mother, and that she had been accepted as First Mistress.

Usagi—the enemy Minako had just sworn she would now hunt for eternity and see burning in a pit of hellfire—was visibly upset that Minako would be getting some of her husband as well, but put that off for later, after they would be married. After all, she didn't plan to let her husband sleep around. It was bad enough she was beginning to suspect Luna was making her own plans for Usagi's knight.

Ranma was passed out on the floor. First he had been deprived of oxygen as Nodoka embraced him in a way that nearly suffocated him. Then, he was told that he was engaged to marry Usagi, could keep Minako as a Mistress, and it was okay if he had kittens with Luna.

Suffice to say, the Ranma OS found a major programming fault and froze.

Ikuko was talking with Nodoka about her plans to have her son-in-law run around like the Milk Man.

Nodoka wasn't listening, dreaming of grandchildren and cute little kittens.

Luna didn't give a rat's ass, as she was set since the girls still had school.

The hidden mouse was swearing. The cat who had stolen their king's devious eyes had been found. They needed to plan soon for a strike.

"What the hell are you trying to pull, Usagi?" asked Minako.

The four were in Usagi's room, with Ranma passed out on the bed where the girls had laid him, Luna on his chest, purring.

Usagi tried to look innocent, but the act was not good enough to fool another woman, as it had only been tested on a father. "It is for family honor, I have to do it."

"Riiiiight. Like I'm going to believe that."

"Didn't you say it was destiny that Ranma found you?" Seeing Minako nod, she continued. "Well, it led him here as well to do what our family honors' demand."

"And exactly how long have you known about this honor pack?" asked Minako, her voice still suspicious.

"Well, my mom asked how my day was, and I told her I met a person named Ranma who was going to train me to be a martial artist. Before I even explained a little lie why I wanted to learn, she jumped and assumed he was a guy named Ranma Saotome. Fast forward through some boring details, and apparently our mothers made this promise that we are now duty-bound to fulfill."

Luna smirked. Yes, coaching Usagi before Minako had shown up was proving to be her best idea. With the script she made, even Minako would believe Usagi was innocent.

"When I left to meet you guys, Mom told me that if it really was Ranma Saotome, to let her know. Since his mother has been looking for him for a long time, she was really hoping." Usagi bowed her head, forcing some tears. "I'm sorry if you hate me, but I have to do it. My Mom is really heavy on family honor."

Luna tried to not look distressed. Minako didn't appear to be buying it. After all, Usagi had said her family had discussed Ranma both before and after the meeting. Something wasn't adding up, and the cat began plans to eliminate the blond female. She was risking her nookie on the hopes that Minako wouldn't catch that little slip.

"He's mine, Usagi!"

Luna calmed down. It looked like she didn't have to kill Usagi...tonight.

Usagi forced herself to pull out the last resort weapon Luna had given her: the rock and the hard place speech. "Okay, then you can go and explain to my mother, his mother, and your own parents about how you are disregarding family honor and trying to make the man you claim to love dishonorable. I'm certain they'd love to hear that."

Minako blinked. She knew Ranma valued his honor. It was what made him so yummy.

But then she'd have to let him go. Why had the Powers That Be done this to her? Hadn't she been their best warrior? Hadn't she trained long and hard? Didn't she deserve to have her little Nookie Warrior of Love and Justice for herself?

She began to cry, which was soon led to an enveloping hug from Usagi as she tried to comfort her.

Luna just smiled, choosing to ignore the changing expressions of Usagi who went to caring and compassionate when Minako would look at her, to devious and happy when the blond was crying her eyes out in his shirt. After all, they just needed to finalize a wedding date within the next few days.

Only one person could stop her now.

Pluto was incensed. Usagi had done the impossible: formed a near perfect plan and executed it flawlessly.

She now had the firm grasp on the pigtailed warrior.

"Damn it, I just had to fall asleep in the tub. Damn relaxing bubbles!"

Sure, the daydreams she had had about Omega Knight and herself enjoying the fruits of a glorious day, the passion they fell into every free moment, the kids...

Setsuna shook her head. No, now was not the time to be lost in thought. Raising her Garnet Staff, she began to search throughout the timelines that might exist, trying to find a way to get Ranma for herself.

Damn it, she had been without for 10,000 years waiting for the Senshi to awake, and another 3,000 before the Great Fall, because she was so "untouchable".

No, she would not lose such a fine...specimen as Ranma. She needed to find a way to disband the honor agreement until the next generation, keep Luna from sinking her claws into him, while steering him away from the other Senshi.

So, she would work tirelessly to win her prize. After all, she put in all the leg work, shouldn't she get the bonus?

Mamoru sat on his inflatable donut. The good news was that the doctors had said there was no permanent trauma to his...back exit.

The bad news was that he wouldn't be walking right for a few days.

The worse news was all the stares he was getting from guys. He knew what they were thinking.

Picking up a medical dictionary, he quickly needed to come up with an excuse that was believable for why he was walking bow-legged.

The battle was entered with renewed vigor. The Outer Moon Senshi, Pluto, Jupiter, Mars, and Mercury were each trying to impress Omega Knight with their abilities.

Venus was literally ripping the youmas apart, as she needed some stress relief.

Moon was finding herself—much to the hatred of the other Senshi—constantly being protected by Omega Knight. He was fighting the close-up battles for her, as she powered up and released her attacks.

The Dark Generals were off to the side, the youma fighting too closely for Omega Knight to break away to get them, as well as Venus too pissed to summon her Crescent Beam Cannon.

Kunzite smiled. "Looks like we were right. Look how he protects her."

"Yes," Jadeite nodded. "Soon, Queen Beryl will have Endymion."

"Well then," Zoicite added, "let's capture him. Lady Beryl wants him now."

With a raised hand, the Generals looked towards their youma, as they exploded as a group.

When the Senshi began to come to, they saw the Dark Generals grabbing the tattered body of Omega Knight, and waved goodbye, before teleporting away.

Moon stood up, her fist raised to the sky. "BRING HIM BACK, NOW! OUR WEDDING'S TOMORROW!"

"WHAT?" cried out the other Senshi who did not know of Usagi's impending nuptials.

"Eep," she said, as Venus smiled on. Yes, looks like her goose is baked.

Omake by Lord Raa:

Pluto was not happy with Usagi's declaration that she was going to be wed to Ranma before the week was out. That wasn't her biggest concern, after all, with the Time Gates, almost anything could be changed with enough jiggery-pokery.

What took her displeasure to the state of Promethean Rage™ was the fact that the five Inner Senshi and the Outer Moon Senshi had allowed Ranma to be kidnapped by Beryl's forces.

She turned he steely-eyed gaze to the blonde who'd blurted out her impending nuptials.

"Usagi, do you have any idea how long it has been since I was last intimate with a suitable man?"

"No," the meatball-headed blonde shook her head.

"What do you mean suitable, Setsuna?" Ami asked, she too was unhappy about the disappearance of Ranma.

The green haired woman sighed as she began to tick points off her fingers. "Handsome, athletic, generously equipped in the trouser department, able to learn and adapt advanced techniques with great ease, the ability to hold his breath for over five minutes, and the fact that once the official relationships were carved in stone, he'd divide his time equally between the five of us."

"Five of you?" Minako asked, not liking the sound of that.

"Yes, didn't you know about the polygamous marriage that was planned?"

The girls all shook their heads.

"Ranma, me, Makoto, Minako, Rei and one other Senshi. I can't remember if it was an outer planet or an outer moon, though," Setsuna sighed. "One day with each of us, one day with all of us and one day for him to recover. But now, you've gone and done it – Beryl's been as lonely as me for these past 10,000 years and she's a deviant at the best of times! Who knows what kind of sick and depraved things poor Ranma's being subjected to?"

In a darkened room, Ranma stood with his shackled arms above his head. All over his body, there were small cuts and bruises, but they were not from interrogation.

No, Beryl had decided to break out her bag of toys and Ranma was being beaten with a black rubber chicken.

"Have it!" the deranged woman shouted as she brought it repeatedly down on the cursed boy's back.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Ranma demanded when his abuser got tired.

"Incompetent underlings and confused homonyms," Beryl replied sadly.