Disclaimer: Not mine.
Pairing: No. Well… implied Slade/Robin
Warning: Grave "stupid idea" warning! I have only one excuse: I spent some time last night feeling quite sick in the bathroom. No… not due to alcohol since I don't drink. I like my brain, but I won't attend any more "bring your favourite snacks-party-thing" with my friends for quite some time… somehow a mix of everything didn't… mix well… ANYWAY, I was in the bathroom, trying very hard not to get sick and I just had to think of something to take my mind off my stomach… Unfortunately I decided to write it down. Well, it WORKED… now I just hope it doesn't make you sick…
Background: No. None. Oh, yes... it refers to earlier an earlier drabble. So sue me.

The Call

Four signals came through before there was a click on the other end of the line. The caller sighed silently.

"Hello./Greetings!/Yo!/Hi./Dude! you have reached the Teen Titans. We are probably out fighting crime at the moment, or having pizza. Please follow the menu.
Are you a hero? Press 1.
Are you a villain? Press 2.
Can't decide? Press 3.
Are you a crazy fan? Press 4.
Are you a journalist? Press 5."

-beeep-

"You have pressed 2. You are a bad guy. Stop it.
Have we kicked your ass before? Press 1.
New in town? Please press 2 to review our ass-kicking record before you move out again.
Have you recently turned bad, and want to try some stupid plan out? Press 3.
Are you Red X? Press 4 and return the suit you little ingrate!
Are you Slade? Really? Press 5."

-beeeeep-

"You have chosen option five. You are officially a bastard. Please choose among the following options.
Are you an imagined drug-induced hallucination? Press 1.
Are you a robot? Press 2.
Are you the real thing? Press 3."

-beeeep-

"You claim to be the real Slade.
Is your current goal to turn Robin into your apprentice? Press 1.
Is your current goal to do something… else… to Robin? Press 19-12-1-19-8 and leave a private message. Please be graphic.
Do you wish do to blow something up? Press 3"

-beep!-

"You have chosen option 1. My, my, aren't we persistent?
Do you wish to lure Robin into a trap? Press 1 and leave the address. Robin will show up, by himself, in thirty minutes or less.
Have you already taken Robin prisoner? Press 2.
Are you wondering if it will be really worth it? Press 3 for a statement from Batman regarding what it's really like to work with Robin."

-beeeeep-

"You have pressed 2, you despicable, worthless, splotch of scum. Please continue to follow the instructions.
Have you succeeded in breaking him? Press 1.
Have you run out of ideas? Press 2 and consider some naughty ones.
Have you become bored and wish to return him? Press 3 and we will consider it.
Do you wish to know about Robin's deepest, darkest fears? Press 4 and buy a rubber duck.
Has he claimed that you don't know anything about him? Press 5."
Has he claimed that he is nothing like you? Press 6. Just like Robin would."

-beeeep-

"You have chosen option 5.
Do you wish to know his real identity? Press 1.
Do you wish to know the color of his eyes? Press 2
Do you wish to know his highest score on "Ninja-monkey smack-down VII"? Press 3. It's pathetic anyway.
Do you wish to know his favorite pizza topping? Press 4."

- Beeeeep-

"It's cheese and tomatoes. He's just that boring.
Do you wish to return to the main menu, press 0. If not, thank you for calling. Good bye."
There was a click as the receiver was put down.

Heavy footsteps alerted the boy that his captor was coming back. He was chained to the wall, surrounded by pictures of Bruce and himself, his mask was torn off, he had a hickey on his neck and there were horrible yellow ducks grinning at him from every corner. Slade opened the door and Robin glared up at him, still defiant.

"Its cheese and tomato." the man said triumphantly.

Robin lowered his head in defeat and sobbed. How did the man know all this? It's like Robin's whole life were at his fingertips…

THE END

A/N: Sorry… I … I… sorry!!! I didn't mean too.. I… Please forgive me? And before you delete this thing from your memory (hopefully) check out the long number-combination… yeah, it's a veeeeery simple code… just for fun!