Chapter Five – Time to Say Goodbye

The last of the sunlight had vanished, replaced by stars that glittered in the velvet sky. Alien stars, Rose thought sleepily, staring up at them as she leaned against the Doctor. She had never gotten used to that, despite all her travels, never stopped feeling that first shock when she looked up to see different constellations. And so she asked what she always asked.

"Show me Earth?" He always tried. Sometimes he could show her humanity's sun itself; sometimes he couldn't. Sometimes he could only point in the right direction, the distances between worlds too great. But he always tried. And so he did this time. This new/old Doctor tilted his head, looked for a long moment, then pointed.

"There. That way."

Rose looked, but couldn't make out her own little star. It was too far away, lost in an alien sky. But she nodded, and murmured a thank you, as always.

"We should go back to the TARDIS so you can get some sleep," the Doctor suggested.

Rose shook her head. No. She only had 10 hours left. She wasn't going to waste any of it sleeping. With an effort, she straightened, briefly regretting the loss of his arm around her, then shook her head to clear it, sucking in a deep breath of cool air.

"Not yet," she said. "You haven't shown me the Gallifreyan night-life yet."

"Gallifrey doesn't have a night-life. Besides, you're dropping."

Rose climbed to her feet. "No I'm not. I just needed a rest. I'm good to go now."

"Rose…"

"I can sleep when I get back, ok? In the meantime, night-life?"

He gave her an exasperated look, then got to his own feet, brushing the grass off his trousers. "Humans. Well, don't blame me if you fall on your face from exhaustion."

Rose spoke without thinking as she set off down the hill. "But you'll always there to catch me, right?" She didn't see the startled look on his face, and didn't hear his quiet response.

"It seems so, Rose Tyler."

Gallifrey did have a night-life after all, but it seemed to consist of bedecked and be-robed students telling slightly off-colour jokes about the time-space continuum and something called chronovores, while drinking what tasted like extremely weak beer. If this was as exciting as Gallifrey got, it was no wonder the Doctor had high-tailed it the first chance he got. Rose had seen more exciting parties at seniors' homes. Even the Doctor looked bored. It wasn't until she suggested taking one of the local boats onto the small lake, which bordered the city, that things improved.

"You're a bad influence, Rose Tyler," the Doctor complained, as he rowed across the calm water.

"It wasn't stealing. It was borrowing."

"You seem to have a very loose understanding of the word 'borrow'."

"Oh stop worrying. We'll have the boat back long before anyone misses it. In the meantime, give me those oars. Rowing will wake me up."

"You could be back in the TARDIS, warm, safe, and asleep."

"Sleep is over-rated. So is safe."

"And warm?"

"Hmm."

They returned to the TARDIS shortly before dawn. The Doctor had only been able to talk her out of the notion of breaking into and climbing the white tower at the center of the capitol, with the reminder that the TARDIS would have gathered enough energy by now to send her back. That, and the fact that she was practically reeling from exhaustion. Her energy levels were completed depleted. But it was worth a night of lost sleep. The Doctor had laughed with her, shared stories from his days at the university, and generally seemed to be having a good time. Rose only hoped it would be enough. Or had she made things worse? Would these good memories make it harder for him to destroy Gallifrey, when the time came? Had she inadvertently caused him even more pain?

She stumbled, and the Doctor's hand went around her elbow, straightening her path. He was carrying her bag, complaining at the weight periodically. Rose concentrated on keeping her feet, and trying not to worry. She was only partially successful.

The Doctor ushered her into the TARDIS. Rose tripped over the threshold. Everything seemed to be suffused with a faint golden glow, power pulsing through the console room, and suddenly she felt alert and aware again, her tiredness falling away like a discarded cloak. A sense of familiarity shot through her then skittered back into the recesses of her mind. Rose shook her head to clear it and reached for her bag.

The Doctor held it out, but didn't let go, even when she tugged at it. "It won't work," he told her.

"What won't?"

"This." He released the handbag and she gathered it in her arms. "You can't take it back with you. You can't take anything that didn't come with you."

"Oh. Right. OK. 'Scuse me for a sec." With that, Rose turned and bolted out of the console room, heading deeper into the TARDIS.

When she returned, the Doctor was perched on the edge of the console, looking amused. "So where did you put it?" He indicated her empty arms.

"Somewhere you'll never find it."

"I doubt that."

"Don't try. Please."

He tilted his head. "All right. If it means so much to you."

"It does. You…you'll know why later."

"If you say so." He turned away, moving to the console. He made some adjustments then faced her again. "It's ready. Are you?"

Rose's throat tightened. So soon? Of course she missed her own Doctor and wanted to get back to him, but she was only just getting used to this one. She would have liked to have more time with him. Only time was running out. She had to go back, and he had a Time War to win.

"Thank you, Doctor."

He gave her a slight smile. "Thank you, Rose Tyler. I'm glad I'm going to meet you."

"Me too."

For a moment they stood still, and then he put one hand on the lever. "Well…"

"No, wait." Rose's vision blurred and she rushed toward him. "Doctor, I have to tell you…"

"Rose, no! We talked about this. You can't."

"I know. I know." Her voice caught on a sob. "But you have to know this one thing." She hurried on when it looked as though he would interrupt her. "I swear it won't harm the timeline. I swear." The Doctor looked doubtful, but kept his silence. Rose took a deep breath, then spoke:

"You were right. Something bad is coming. But you need to remember - no matter how bad it gets, things do get better eventually. In time. There will…one day you'll have laughter again, and friendship, and fun, and people who care about you, and all the things worth living for. And you'll have me." Tears were pouring down Rose's face now, but she made no effort to wipe them away. "Just remember that I'm out there somewhere, waiting for you on the other side of time. You have to get through this, because… because I need you to." Her voice cracked. And then, because she didn't know what else to do, she reached up and kissed him.

It was pain, and love, and need, and despair, all mixed up together. It was the need to see her own Doctor again, and the sorrow for what lay ahead for this one. The kiss tasted salty from her tears, and she couldn't seem to breathe very well, but she didn't care. And then, right at the end, she even thought he kissed her back.

At last Rose pulled away and took a step back. For a moment she thought he might say something, but he didn't. Instead, he reached out for the lever, his gaze never once leaving hers.

"Goodbye, Rose Tyler," she thought she heard him say…and then Time reached out, seized her by the scruff of the neck, and dragged her backwards into the vortex.