THIS WOULD NEVER EVER HAPPEN! EVER!!!
This happening is as likely as DC-comics announcing they are publishing a Robin/Slade slash comic/Cartoon... So, IF you really should read this (and I'm not saying you should... turn away NOW while you still can) prepare for OOC, AU and all kinds of other abbreviations... this is ALMOST as bad as Mpreg! Almost! You have been warned! Although... I HAVE read one or two really nice Mpreg Harry Potter fan-fictions... but that's a MAGIC world so... anyway, this is NOT Mpreg... but... damn... should I really publish this? ARGH! Yes! I had so much fun writing it, so... just dismiss it as a crack-story and move on...
Oh, there is a Latin sentence in this… I put it together with the help of a dictionary, so it's probably ALL WRONG… anyway… I tried!
I'm so dizzyingly happy that this collection have gotten over 130 reviews! I love you all! And this story is a REALLY bad way to repay you… I'm ashamed of myself…
Background: set in the same universe as the future-fics... but it DIDN'T HAPPEN!! COULDN'T! -sobs in frustration-
Disclaimer: They are not mine. And, this time at least, you should be happy about that…
The Date
"How is the surveillance going?" Slade leaned over Robin's shoulder and studied the screen
"Just fine."
"Is it going to be all set up by tomorrow?"
"That's the deadline, right? Of course it will be ready…" Robin answered, slightly annoyed. Slade didn't normally ride his ass like this… well… not in this wayand he was irritated that the man apparently didn't trust him to set up a simple spy-system by himself.
"Don't snap, boy… I just wanted to know if you felt like going out afterwards."
"Out? A mission?"
"Nooo… a date."
Robin had a small coughing-fit.
"A date? Since when are you a romantic? You usually just drag me off to the bedroom…"
"I could do that… but I would like to take you out to a nice dinner for a change."
"Who are you, and what have you done with Slade?" Robin grinned.
"Not interested then?" the man actually sounded a bit disappointed.
"Of course I am… I would love to go out with you, but… you know… show me a restaurant who would serve a couple of thieves and assassins?"
"Mc Donald's?"
"Nooo… that's where the really bad thieves and assassins work." Robin grinned and then pouted. "Besides, I thought you wanted to take me someplace nice."
"I am. I'm taking you to Spring Oaks."
"Wooow… that is nice… isn't there like a months waiting list to that place? Who did you have to kill?"
Slade just grinned.
"So. We are going out to dinner…" Robin started.
"... a romantic dinner…" Slade cut in.
"Sure, a romantic dinner. How do you propose we even get to the main course without getting shot? We will be sitting ducks in that place." Robin said and shivered a bit. Not at the danger, of course… but at the word 'duck'.
"We will be in disguise…"
Robin looked blank.
"In disguise?"
"Yes."
The boy put his head in his hands for a moment.
"I'm sorry, Slade, but two guys out on a romantic dinner with our builds… People WILL put two and two together. We are too well known in this city. A couple of wigs or something won't do."
Slade chuckled and Robin suddenly didn't like the sound at all. Especially when the man started to stroke his neck. The man always did that when he wanted Robin to do something… disturbing…
"There won't be two guys… there will be a man… out on a date with his pretty little girlfriend…"
Robin froze.
"You are not saying..?"
"Yup…"
"Noooo… no way, Slade! Not gonna do it!"
"Dinner at Spring Oaks? Totally anonymous? Just you and me?"
"We can have pizza in the bedroom." Robin folded his arms across his chest and tried to look intimidating. When Slade only quirked an eyebrow at him he sighed and threw out his hands.
"Slade! I would make a really ugly girl!"
"Of course not! Would I date an ugly girl…?"
"That was so wrong on so many levels…" Robin growled. "No way. You'll be the girl!"
The pair stared at each other for a second before the boy burst out laughing.
"Oh-okay…" Robin gasped, clutching his sides. "You would make an ugly girl…"
Slade snorted.
"And you will be just adorable. Be ready for the preparations tomorrow at three."
Slade walked away and Robin didn't have time to get his brain in gear to present another argument before the man was gone.
Around three the next afternoon Robin really hoped that Slade had forgotten the whole deal. He had just put the finishing touches on the spy-system and was running a test when the door opened behind him.
"Ready?" Slade asked.
Robin's shoulders slumped.
"Yeah…" he muttered. "I just got t-" he had turned around and was now staring wide eyed at the unknown man in front of him.
"S-Slade?!"
Robin recognized him by his grin. Two grey eyes looked back at him. Two! Robin knew the right one must be glass, but damn, it looked totally real! There wasn't even any sign of scars… professional special effect makeup, he guessed. Seeing Slade with two eyes was slightly strange, like he had just grown a third arm. But the difference didn't stop there. His hair was now blond, setting off the color of his eye... err… eyes and he…
"…You shaved off your beard…" Robin stood up and fascinated touched the almost unrecognizable face of his lover.
"It was too noticeable… hate it?" Slade sounded flippant but Robin smiled, hearing the slightly insecure tone in the man's voice.
"I love it…" Robin bent the man's head down for a kiss. Oh, it was weird not feeling that beard… like he was kissing someone else… Robin chuckled.
"What?!" Slade wanted to know.
"I just felt guilty… like I was cheating on you…" Robin laughed and looked up at the man's face. He looked even younger without the white hair. Now he looked… around 35?
Slade frowned slightly.
"So cheating on me would make you feel slightly guilty? I better keep my eye on you, young man!"
Robin just smirked.
"Oh, you don't need to worry now… you look really hot…"
"Stop grinning… It's your turn now…"
That did the trick.
"Owww… can't I just stay home and play with my new boy-friend?"
Slade shook his head cruelly.
"Later. I promise. Now off you go."
Robin muttered something about 'bossy villains always getting their way' while following Slade out the door.
An hour later a half crazed Robin, wearing only a towel, found himself surrounded by three half crazed stylists from 'Salon LiToJe'. One had just suggested some torture method which included hot wax and Robin had suggested they would check how the man looked without a nose. After that another one had smeared some foul-smelling cream on his legs muttering how wax was so much better. Robin, just coming out of the shower where he had been ordered to use more products than he thought humanly possible declared the two men and one woman crazy for making him smell even worse. 'Men' might stretch it… Robin had previously thought gays like that only existed on sit-coms. Well, that didn't bother him. What bothered him was the two pinkish rounded jelly-thingies one of them was holding out to him.
"B- or C-cup?" man number one, called Jeffery, asked.
"I always have the most fun with a D!" the second man, Todd, confessed with barely repressed glee.
"Want him to fall over?" the sensible one, the woman, commented dryly. Robin had rather liked her; her name was Lilly, until the moment she told him that she was going to 'shape his eyebrows'. His eyebrows, feeling that they were in for it, had taken the opportunity to hide first rather high up on his brow and then escaped downwards in a frown. Lilly had calmed him, claiming he had very shapely brows already, and she just needed to clean them up a bit. That bit hurt. Robin had by now decided to employ these people full time. As head torturers. All right, so he and Slade didn't actually use torture, but here was a completely unexposed resource... they should tap it.
He was ushered into the shower again, to get the stinky cream off his legs. Emerging afterwards he felt... cold. He froze completely when Jeffery waved something he called underwear in his face. Robin had to come closer to even see the ghost of white silk with lacy frills properly.
"I'm not wearing that! I have underwear!"
"You can't wear boxers under a dress, honey..." Todd told him.
"Then I'll wear briefs!"
"But you don't want seem-marks!"
"I don't?" Robin wondered what those where. Judging by Todd's voice they where ghastly things comparable to… well… in Todd's case a bad hair day. In most people's case, death.
"No, and besides, these are especially designed to… hold things in place…"
"What thi- oh."
Three against one was usually something Robin thought off as "fair odds" when he was concerned. So he had no idea how he lost this round. Especially when the best argument the opposition had was 'They match the bra'…
"Now for your waist…" Lilly muttered, looking at him with a thoughtful frown.
"What about it?" Robin dreaded the answer, but didn't expect Jeffery's reply.
"It's in the wrong place, honey…" the man sounded like he stated something obvious to a child.
"What? What do you mean 'wrong place'!? It's where it belongs! Around the middle, right?!" Robin fought an urge to check if it had moved. He wouldn't be surprised. He sure didn't want to do this, so if a body part had tried to escape he applauded it…
"Yes, dear, but men's waists are set lower than women's… we must make it look like yours are higher up…"
"Don't tell me…" Robin started, and gulped as Lilly produced a…. a corset.
"Your hips are a bit too slim, but that cute butt of yours makes up for it…" Todd offered an unwanted opinion.
"Pantyhose?" Jeffery asked.
"Death wish?" Robin asked back.
"Noooo, its summer and his legs looks just great…" Lilly decided and Robin wanted to hug her. Then she suggested a choice of dresses and was back on the 'foe-list" again.
Robin lost the dress-argument too, and soon found himself in a midnight blue number that was way to short for his taste. He now also had forms in weird places, as the team had finally decided on a small C-cup. Robin had no idea how he would be able to look down on his plate without blushing. Thankfully the dress wasn't low cut, there was no real cleavage after all, but it still managed to leave little to the imagination.
Robin was just thankful that there wasn't a mirror in the room.
"Why so blue?" Todd quipped.
The next words he said was "Arrrggghhh!" as Robin got a strong hold on his throat.
"No. Jokes. Got that?"
"Awww… sir…" Lilly pealed his hands from Todd's rather red throat. "Why not have fun with it? You will only be able to pull it off for another year or so…"
"Really? Why?" Robin asked, feeling hopeful.
"Why?" Todd wheezed. "Sure you got legs to die for, baby, but those shoulders and those abs? You will soon look as believable in drag as Eddie Izzard."
"You promise?!" Robin looked absolutely delighted at this.
"Oh, yes… sorry…" Jeffery sighed. "But right now you look just as pretty as a doll! I just want to take you home and play with you all night!" he thrilled.
"In your dreams…" Robin growled.
"Oh, yes, I'm sure about that!" Jeffery giggled.
Lilly sighed.
"Hair and make-up, ladies. Let's get started."
If Robin had thought he would get to spike his hair he would have been wrong. Lilly put weaves in it, making it long enough to reach just below his shoulders. Robin cursed himself for letting it grow long enough to do this, but hairdressers-appointments hadn't exactly been on his 'to do' list lately. At least he didn't have to wear a wig. He had somehow pictured himself in a wig looking like Peggy's hair from "Love and Marriage".
While Lilly patiently worked on his hair, Jeffery and Todd took care of his nails, exclaiming their horror about the condition they were in.
"How did this happen?!" Todd wanted to know.
"Well… blood and explosives you know…" Robin smiled a sharp-toothed grin. "Can be hell on the cuticles."
The men paled somewhat and stayed pleasingly quiet for a while. They buffed, lengthened and painted the things until Robin didn't recognize his own hands. A very unreal feeling. The men had tried several options but in the end they settled for a simple French manicure to Robin's relief. At least it looked natural.
The makeup was next.
"If you even think glitter, parts of you will end up on the wall…" Robin warned them.
"Oh, no, we are going for a natural look!" Todd assured him, quickly putting the container he was holding away.
"You have such lovely skin!" Jeffery told him, probably thinking it was a compliment.
A lot of whining and death threats (on Robin's part) and ignoring and bargaining (on the stylists part) later Lilly added a wide dark blue velvet choker, the same color as the dress, studded with tiny diamonds. It would hide his Adams apple. Some stylish earrings were added too (clip-on's as Robin had given her a very unpleasant look at her first suggestion). A drop of perfume, reminding Robin of apple blooms, was applied and the stylists declared him ready.
"Quickly! The mirrors!" Jeffery exclaimed and clapped his hands. A large, three-part dressing mirror was brought out and unfolded in front of Robin.
After a little while Lilly cleared her throat.
"Err... Sir? You do have to open your eyes at some point."
Robin groaned. Then he slowly compiled. He gasped. So did the woman in the mirror.
"Oh my…" he blushed. He paled. He didn't know whether to throw up or … or… twirl.
"Sir?...Sir…?"
The voice seemed to come from a long way off so Robin ignored it.
There was a laugh.
"I wonder if he's bi… he seems to have fallen in love …" Todd giggled.
That brought Robin back to the present. He shook his head, noting, slightly dazed, how the reflections long black curls bounced as he did.
"Amazing…"
"Sir... there are still a few things…"
"Hmmm?" Robin had started to develop a slightly narcissistic personality. With another shake of his head he finally managed to pull his eyes away. "Oh? What? Sorry…"
The three stylists grinned at him, and Robin awkwardly grinned back.
"Only one major thing left to decide…." Todd smirked. "Shoes… heels or flats…?"
"I don't want to wear heels!" Robin protested, feeling enough was enough.
"They will make you taller…"
"… but I'm willing to try if you recommend it…" Robin said just a bit too smoothly, making his tormentors grin again.
Only due to his acrobatic skills and amazing balance, Robin was able to master the shoes in mere minutes.
How do women stand this!? There should be a lot more broken ankles out there…
"You need to walk more like a woman." Todd complained.
Robin pinched the bridge of his nose and counted to ten.
"All right…" he sighed. A woman. How did a woman walk? He tried to think about one of the sexiest women he knew… Catwoman. She sure could move, right? As he tried to copy her walk the room fell quiet. There was an embarrassed cough.
"Errr… sir? I said woman… not prostitute…"
When he mastered the walk, keeping it just enough slutty to be fun, Robin received a crash-course in make-up so he would be able to fix it during the evening. The makeup was packed neatly in a small bag Robin was told to carry over his shoulder. Then he was definitely ready. Ready to face Slade. Not. Strangely enough neither seemed the stylists, fiddling with his clothes and hair, seemingly never getting it done. Robin grinned.
"Come on. You think Slade would hate this?" Robin said, throwing out his hands. The team took one last look at him and smiled, shaking their heads.
"Let's go see him, then…" Robin said, with a lot more bravado then he actually felt.
On the way to their private quarters, Robin knew Slade would be there, the stylists gave him a few lasts tips.
"Don't try for any 'feminine' gestures, they always look fake…" Lilly said, getting glares from the men.
"Keep your legs together!" warned Jeffery. "Weeeell… until later, anyway…" he giggled.
"Just try not to kill anyone." muttered Todd, rubbing his neck.
"Sorry 'bout that…" Robin mumbled, feeling quite ashamed of himself. "Actually…" he stopped, making the others stop too. "I'm sorry for acting like a complete jerk. This-" he gestured at his body "might not be my cup of tea, but I did, how I'm not sure agree to it and I took out all my frustration on you. You don't deserve it. You did a fantastic job. I'm sorry."
There was three genuine smiles, meeting his guilty one.
"Don't worry about it, we've had fun…" Lilly said and the others agreed. "Let's go in and see what Slade thinks, ok?"
Robin nodded, swallowed and opened the door.
"Finally re-" Slade turned towards them. Robin wanted to laugh out loud at his expression, but that wouldn't have been very ladylike, would it? Instead he walked up to him, movements definitely bordering on 'slutty' again, and pressed up slightly against his chest.
"No compliments for your date?" he pouted up at the man who, lost for words, answered with a kiss instead. There were squeals behind them and a female voice sighing and complaining that Slade messed up the lipstick.
Slade's mouth left Robin's long enough for a glare.
"I'll double your fee."
"Mess away…" Lilly chuckled and waved at him to get on with it. He did.
When Slade's hands started wander down to his ass, Robin slapped them away, though, and broke free.
"Uh-uh-uh… I'm not that easy… the least you can do is take me to dinner like you promised…" he grinned.
"You wouldn't settle for a quick bite around the corner?" Slade grinned back.
"No. You owe me. You owe me so big. You are lucky if you will get as much as another kiss tonight!" Robin huffed, folding his arms across his chest. Or trying to. He ended up having to fold them under his chest, which didn't really have the desired effect. Rather the opposite. Slade closed in on him again, but this time softly caressing his cheek.
"You are beautiful…" the man whispered, kissing him a lot softer this time to the sounds of 'oooohhh's' and 'aaaaahhh's' in the background.
After properly thanking three very happy and very well compensated stylists, they left through an underground garage in a silver colored limo driven by one of the guards in a immaculate driver's uniform. Seeing the car, Robin came to a conclusion.
"You used Dominic Gray, didn't you?"
Slade nodded.
Dominic Gray was not a real person. He was the CEO of 'Gray's', a completely legal and rather thriving import/export business. The company was, naturally, completely under Slade's influence, actually created to act as a front for money laundering and smuggling. The business had gone unexpectedly well, though, and Slade had more or less leaned back and let it flourish. Now it was named one of the most prosperous companies in the state. Robin knew Slade used the name occasionally, but had, to his knowledge, never put a face too it. Magazines, both the gossip and the financial kinds, had occasionally tried to reveal the 'man behind the company' creating a myth all by themselves.
"So... if you are Dominic… who am I?"
"A hot piece of ass…" Slade smirked.
"That's enough, mister. You are sleeping on the couch for a week." Robin growled, but his eyes glittered, telling Slade he really didn't mean it. Slade himself only snorted telling Robin that he should just try to keep him off the bed… or off him for that matter.
"All right…" Slade finally sighed. "How about Robinne?"
Robin thought it over.
"That works… that way it would be easy to explain away if you forget yourself… Robinne Grayson." he tried the name.
"Grayson?" Slade asked, looking amused.
"Well… maiden name and everything…" Robin smirked back.
They quickly came up with a background story, not that Robin intended to talk to anyone, but it was good to get their stories straight, just in case.
As the driver pulled up to the restaurant Slade got out and held the door open for his lady. Robin rolled his eyes slightly, but then took the arm that was offered to him and tried to act accordingly.
"Gray, table for two." Slade announced to a haughty waiter who quickly became rather meek and smarmy.
"This way, Sir, Madam!"
As they entered the dining area the murmur hushed for a moment, only to come back with vigor.
Seems the restaurant staff has been rather fond of telling people who they were expecting here today… Robin mused, trying not to scowl. He noticed both men and women who tried hard not to stare. Robin smiled up at Slade, noting how handsome he looked in a dark gray suit and white shirt. That the people in the room might notice the pale raven-haired beauty on Slade's arm more didn't even occur to him.
"Our best table!" the waiter proclaimed and Robin noticed that it was. A table where they were going to be seen without being crowded. They would even be able to speak rather freely, which Robin appreciated.
It was clear that the restaurant wanted to fuss over them. They had two personal waitresses, and the head chef herself brought the menus and recommended the courses. Spending a whole afternoon with the stylists had started to cause Robin some problems though, and after the entrée he started fidgeting slightly.
"What is it?" Slade asked, noticing immediately.
"I need to use the bathroom." Robin complained silently.
Slade raised an eyebrow.
"And? I believe the ladies-room is over there…" he nodded his head towards a hallway.
"I'm not going in there! " Robin hissed.
"Well you are not going into the men's room. What are your options? The back ally? A potted plant?"
Robin groaned, but a heartless Slade only smirked at him.
"Be brave, my boy. Boldly go where no man has gone before…"
Robin sighed and got up.
"I just need to freshen up." he reassured the attending waitresses who gladly showed him to the right door. Robin didn't notice, but several women glanced at each other from across the room and smoothly excused themselves as well. Slade noticed, though, and grinned. Robin would soon face something even scarier than all of Gotham's villains combined: a pack of high society ladies.
Robin was relived to find that the 'stalls', if the individual bathrooms could be called that, was completely closed off, so he wouldn't have to sit down to avoid raising any unwanted questions. As he exited the stall, though, he almost jumped at seeing that a group of women had suddenly appeared from out of nowhere. They all seemed occupied by the mirrors, and regrettable he had to head that way too, to wash his hands.
Robin nodded and smiled slightly at the small crowd of four well bred females. Noticing that was what most of the others were doing, he checked his makeup, opening his purse to fish out the lipstick.
"Oh, what a divine color!" one of the nearest ones said. "May I see?"
"Yes, naturally" Robin smiled, handing the thing over. "It's my new personal favorite."
The group closed in like a pack of wolves around a reindeer.
"I'm Rose, Rose Blanc" the first one, clearly the alpha female, said. "My friends here are Alexandra Bixby, Susan Ainsworth and Anna Montague." Robin nodded and smiled, trying not to feel like the prey. Didn't work.
"Please to meet you. I'm Robinne Grayson."
"I must confess we did come in here to meet you…" one, Robin thought it was Susan, giggled, getting a poisonous stare from Rose. Robin had grown up often attending parties with many women. No one paid any attention to a small boy, so he regularly found himself listening freely to conversations like this. He tried desperately to draw on that experience now.
"Oh, I'm so glad you did! I haven't met anyone in this city yet… me and Dominic only arrived yesterday."
"Oh, where are you staying?"
"Are you in town for long?"
Robin smiled gently. "We are staying at the Plaza, and truthfully, I don't know. Dominic has business here… we might stay a while."
"How wonderful, we must do lunch!"
No, we really mustn't… Robin thought grimly.
"Dominic… I heard a rumor… is he really Dominic Gray?"
Robin nodded and immediately got another question.
What is this? The third degree? Or rather the inquisition… though the witches are on the questioning board this time...
"He is not your husband?" Rose asked.
Aha… Robin thought. He recognized this… a deceivingly innocent question designed to stab at a presumed sore point. Rose did not want to alienate him, but she did want to assert her dominance, probably feeling that the others were far to interested in the 'new girl'.
"Oh, no, he's not. We have only known each other for a few months… well…" Robin leaned in closer to the group, which eagerly leaned in too. "Truthfully he's a friend of my family, but I only got him to notice me six months ago… I had a crush on him since I was thirteen, though…" Robin actually managed to giggle and the 'girls' joined him. "God bless boarding school…" Robin sighed. "I went away looking like a scrawny rake and… well…" he grinned.
This released a blur of questions, comments and laughter. After a while Robin wanted to do something rather violent, but instead gasped.
"Oh, I must get back to Dominic… he worries…" Robin excused himself and fled.
Back at the table he nearly collapsed in his chair, frowning at Slade's quiet chuckles.
"You could have warned me… or rescued me at least." the boy hissed.
"I never pictured you as a damsel in distress…" the man grinned.
"Obviously you have. Let me remind you whose idea this was."
"Well, I didn't picture the distress-part…" Slade admitted.
The main course was as exquisite as the first and Robin started to really enjoy himself. They talked. They had found out a long time ago that they enjoyed just talking, but lately they had mostly talked 'shop'. There was a lot to do after all.
After the dishes had been cleared off the table, Slade suddenly looked a bit more serious.
"You are still having nightmares." he told Robin.
The boy looked up at him, surprised.
"Really?"
The time after they… got together – after I surrendered too him… it's time to come to terms with that…– had been tough. It was a time in his life Robin would rather forget. It was before he really started to love the man. He had needed him back then, wanted him, but he was torn between these feelings and the love for his friends. At the end he had sacrificed the friendships to save them from further suffering and had chosen to go willingly with Slade. It had not been an easy choice, though. And it had not been painless.
"Yes. Not as bad, not as often, but they are still there…"
Robin shrugged.
"Everyone has nightmares."
"I wish you didn't."
Slade unexpectedly reached for his hands across the table, playing with Robin's fingers and bringing them to his lips. The boy smiled warmly, basking in the rare subtle show of affection.
"Be mine." Slade suddenly said.
Grey eyes piercing widening blue.
"Wh-what?"
"Be mine. I know I rarely say it, but I love you. I want you to be mine."
"I am yours." Robin's mind went to a funfair and tried all the really dizzying rides. At least that's what it felt like.
"Then be mine even more…" Slade smiled and held something up. A ring. Robin's mind now fell off one of the merry-go-round's and simply had a small quiet shutdown in the mud. Face down.
"Are you… are you asking me to marry you?!" he tried desperately to keep his voice down, but eyes traveled their way.
Slade smiled.
"More or less. Don't worry, I'm not talking wedding dress… maybe not even a ceremony if you don't want too, but… I would like to ask you to wear this… will you?"
Robin's mind now slowly came too, spat out the mud and started working. This man, this man he loved, had just…
"Of course I will!" he exclaimed, wishing he hadn't kind of squealed.
Slade's smile widened as he slipped the ring on Robin's finger. They leaned forward at the same time and shared a kiss that probably went down in history as one of the sweetest kisses the restaurant had ever seen.
Afterwards Robin found himself smiling and blinking back tears. I really need to get out of this dress! He studied the ring. It felt weird. He had never worn one before. It was plain gold with a flattened surface at the top were the intertwined letters 'S' and 'R' were engraved. It was practical as it wouldn't get in the way or get stuck on anything, but Robin also thought it was beautiful.
"I love you." Robin whispered, now taking Slade's hands in his instead.
They had a lovely chocolate dessert and then Robin started to wish they would leave. That was not looking so promising, though, as a man appeared at their table.
"I'm so sorry to intrude- "
Then DON'T, Robin thought irritably.
The man turned to Slade, Robin noticed. So much for equality between the sexes and such…
"My name is Harry Blanc-"
Oh, great, my 'girlfriends' husband?
"My wife Rose met your lovely lady in the ladies room and she was completely smitten."
Go away or I'll smite YOU…
"We would love if you would join us in the lounge upstairs…"
Yeah, like that's gonna ha-
"We would be honored, wouldn't we honey?" Slade answered the man and looked at Robin.
What? No! Whyyyyy?
"Yes, it's a wonderful idea!" Robin smiled and kicked Slade under the table.
That was the reason Robin and Slade soon found themselves in the VIP-lounge upstairs, sitting in a booth on a soft luxurious leather couch. The Blancs' sat across a small table from them, and Rose had scooted closer to Robin on the couch. After some initial pleasantries Rose leaned forward.
"We couldn't help but notice-"
Because you where ogling us the whole time…
"- but it looked like… are you engaged!?"
"Yes… yes we are…" Robin admitted, blushing slightly.
"Oh, let me see the ring, girl!" Rose exclaimed, grabbing for his left hand. A second later there was a slightly disappointed 'oh' which made Robin bristle.
"It's not your average American engagement ring." Slade told the pair. "It's a family heirloom and it can be traced back to the fifteenth century. It's said to be enchanted. All those centuries and not one marriage has ended in divorce or grief. It may not be pretty enough for you, my love, but you know you can have all the diamonds in the world if you wished, right?"
Robin quickly turned a beginning grin to a sweet smile and tried to hold on to it. He was really impressed with Slade's imagination… and about having all the diamonds in the world…
Yeah, but I'll have to steal them for myself, wouldn't I?
"I think it's the most perfect ring in the world… I'm not a girl who likes ghastly flashy bling-bling, you know that!"
I'm not a girl at ALL…
"That's a fantastic story, you are so lucky!" Rose stated.
Changing lanes again? You ARE fast…
"Yes, I am…" Robin agreed for once.
"S and R? What does that stand for?"
"Satio ac Regnum" Slade answered again. "It's an old family saying."
The other pair nodded like they understood, but Robin could barely hold back a chuckle. He had translated the Latin in his head.
'To satisfy and rule'…? An old family saying indeed…? I must remind him of that later…
"Well this is cause for a celebration!" Mr. Blanc said. "Champagne? On us, naturally!"
Slade nodded amiably, letting his hand slide around Robin's waist, pulling him closer.
"Thank you, but not for me… I'll have a glass of water, though…" Robin declined.
"But Robinne!" Rose exclaimed and Robin wished for a blunt object to the head. Which head didn't matter as long as he didn't have to hear that voice anymore… "It's the evening of your engagement, of course you should… unless?" There was a screech that made Robin's eardrums write a rather stern letter of complaint to his brain. "Are you expecting!?"
Robin's mind went happily blank again.
Expecting? Expecting what? Getting out of here with my sanity? Not so much anymore…
Then it hit him, and he almost broke down in tears.
"No! I mean… no… I'm not… pregnant..." he tried to make it sound rueful.
"But we are trying, aren't he honey?" Slade cooed gleefully, and Robin's new nails dug into his side.
"Not until after we are married, sweety…" Robin hid a threat in the reply indicating that they would not 'try' anything for quite some time if Slade didn't get his act together.
"Trying is the really fun part, isn't it?" Rose giggled.
You have no idea how hard WE would have to try…
"Rosie!" her husband exclaimed.
"Oh, hush, Harry-dear!" Rose waved at him dismissingly. "Please don't take offence, we tend to be quite frank about these things, you see… so you can tell me everything!"
Oh, you don't want me to do THAT, lady…Believe me, you are not THAT open minded…
"Robinne can be quite shy, sometimes. " Slade told them and kissed Robin's cheek, making him blush. "I had to work quite hard to win her, I must admit…"
Was that the fight on the roof…? Robin wondered absentmindedly.
"Oh, but we know different, don't we Robinne!" Rose tittered.
"Really?" Slade sounded amused and Robin frowned, thinking that if he was pressed any closer to the man they might very well be thrown out for indecency… which might not be a bad thing…
"Oh, yes… Robinne here have been in love with you since she was thirteen, she said so before!"
"Oh Rose –" You blabbering insane Chihuahua-brain…"– I really wish you hadn't said anything! His head is big enough as it is!" Robin laughed, trying not to strangle the woman on the spot.
"Is that so…" Slade grinned, letting a hand slip up Robin's thigh from under the table.
Robin tried to ignore him and concentrated on the glass of water a waiter had brought for him.
"So." Mr. Blanc was clearly a bit embarrassed about his wife's behavior. You should be… she belongs in a padded cell with all her little friends… Robin thought sourly, though a bit unfairly. "What brings you here? Business?"
"Yes." Slade answered. "And pleasure…" his hand was now on his way up under Robin's skirt. The boy pressed his thighs together but was more or less helpless unless he wanted to be obvious and tear the man's hand away.
Rose kept chatting at him while 'the men' traded business-stories. Robin tried to listen to both, nodding at fairly the right moments.
"When is the party?" his newest best friend in the whole wide world asked.
"Party?"
"The engagement party! You simply must hold one while you are here!"
"Oh… yes… well… I haven't had time to think abou-"
"I'll gladly help, you needn't even ask!"
I'm NOT asking, believe me…
"You'll fly both your families in, of course. What about booking the ballroom at the Plaza? Since you are already staying there…"
Robin had a short vision of a room full of people and among them Bruce in full Batman outfit being asked if he was to give the bride away.
"Err… well… I…"
"I'll call the caterers tomorrow, we must establish the menu! What about the theme! That Latin proverb… what did it mean? Maybe we can use that?!"
To satisfy and rule? The people occupying the room in Robin's mind immediately wound up wearing black leather and dominatrix uniforms. He suppressed a laugh.
"That was a divine idea!" he chuckled. "I'm sure Dominic would love that."
Ignoring Slade's hand was getting harder and harder. No pun intended… yeah, right…And when the other pair excused themselves for a moment to practically run to some friends of theirs to tell them the news, Robin finally managed to grab that blasted hand before it did any real damage.
"If you keep doing that I won't be able to stand up, you idiot!" he hissed in Slade's ear. The man smirked.
"I just can't help myself…"
"Then… maybe we should leave…?" Robin's eyes glittered in the semidarkness of the lounge.
"You think? You sounded that you where having a blast, planning the party…" Slade chuckled.
"Pleeease….?" Robin pouted, batting long dark eyelashes at him.
"All right…" Slade gave in.
Wow… THAT easy? I have to remember this…
Their hosts were of course terrible disappointed that the pair was leaving, but Rose winked at Robin saying to her husband that the pair had more important things to do…
Phone numbers, fake ones on their part Robin assumed, where exchanged.
"We must meet again soon!" Rose waved them off with.
Not unless it's my foot meeting your head...
Safely in the car, Robin leaned back and relaxed.
"That was fun." Slade noted.
"Like a crippling disease." Robin answered.
"Come now, Robin… admit it…" Slade purred and turned towards him.
"Yeah, yeah... it had its moments…" Robin smiled, fingering his ring. "Hey? Where are we going?" He had suddenly noticed that they weren't heading back to the headquarters.
"To the Plaza, of course…" Slade said "That's were we are staying after all…"
"You really did reserve a room there?"
"No."
"Then why-"
"I naturally reserved a suite. The honeymoon suite, actually…"
"You didn't…?"
The man just grinned that annoying 'I got you'-grin he usually reserved for Robin. The boy snorted.
"You are expecting to get lucky, right?" Robin commented.
"Oh, yes. Very much so." the man admitted shamelessly.
"'To satisfy and rule'…?" Robin laughed.
"I would hope so…" The man nuzzled Robin's neck, but luckily they arrived at the hotel before anything else could happen.
They were again received like royalty and as the staff finally left them alone Robin closed the door soundly and made sure it was locked. Then he walked up to Slade, really enjoying the gained height the shoes gave him, and determinedly drew the man down for a kiss. Slade smiled against his lips and Robin smiled back, soon unable to hold back a laugh.
"You are insane, you know that?" he laughed up at the man. "Whatever made you come up with this idea?"
"Curiosity. And… I wanted you to remember this…"
"Like I could forget if I tried…" Robin sighed.
Slade's hands slid down from a rather innocent placement at his waist to a not-at-all-innocent place. Slowly pulling up the skirt of the dress, the man's hands caressed his behind and faltered.
"Silk lingerie?" Slade sounded like he didn't believe what his fingers were telling him.
"They made me."
"Good."
Robin snorted again. Slade then sank to his knees, lifting the dress up over Robin's waist and took a good look at the silky-frilly excuse for underwear his young lover was wearing. Robin gasped as he felt the man's lips through the sheer fabric. His tongue started playing too, making the silk wet. As the man gently blew on it the silk instantly turned cold against his skin, making Robin moan with the sensation and grab Slade's shoulders to be able to stand.
"That's it!" the boy panted. "I'm taking you into the bedroom right now."
And he did.
Robin was awakened by a ringing noise close to his ear. He reached out and found a phone, and pulled it towards him.
"Hello…?"
"Oh, Robinne! I got the most marvelous idea for the cake-!"
Robin clamped his hand over the mouthpiece and glared at Slade who just got up from the bed.
"You gave her the real number?!"
Slade chuckled loudly on the way to the shower, ignoring Robin's muttered curses.
"Rose… I'm sorry, I'll have to return you call later… I have something I have to do…"
"Let me guess!" the infuriating woman giggled "It's Dominic, right?!"
"Oh yes... my future husband is in the shower, and I'm afraid I will have to go kill him now…" Robin growled, putting the phone down.
THE END.
A/N: I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you. Somehow. Feel free to flame this, but please try to forgive me eventually… please?