Disclaimer: I don't own Smallville, Superman, DC Comics, or even my imagination, although God did lend me the imagination on a long term basis
Note: This fic takes place five years earlier in the same universe as Precious Treasure, and gives more hints about the events that prompted those events.
Late Nights and Baby Cries
Lex Luthor was woken for the third time in the last two days by a wail of anger and despair. He groaned, waking slowly and disoriented, unlike his usual practice of waking alert and already, rapidly considering the day ahead. He couldn't remember when he last felt this tired. He honestly felt like he was waking up from a concussion, and he definitely had enough experience to know the excruciating feeling it was trying to wake your brain when someone had just tried to break through your skull and smash it. This felt way too close to that. How could one human being, only a little over a foot long, make such noise?
It couldn't have been half this bad when Lena was a baby! The infant simply continued to scream her way through the night despite all attempts to comfort and quiet the child. He had three of his personal doctors' professional assurances that "the infant might have a slight stomachache but it certainly doesn't seem to be colic, Mr. Luthor." Even as he heard the nanny trying to calm the babe, she still continued to wail.
She certainly had her mother's lungs if nothing else, he noted grimly. He had somewhat affectionately called Chloe a little hellion in bed, and now apparently their child was taking the nickname more literately and making him wish he'd never come home. He got more sleep at the office than he had in this apartment recently!
He should never have put the baby's room so close to his own, but then after that rollercoaster ride of the pregnancy, he had been determined that the child would remain where he could keep a close eye on her. He wasn't feeling all that concerned at the moment however. Perhaps, if the 'darling little girl' would allow him a bit more sleep he would be feeling more protective and possessive at the moment, but as she hadn't, he had no problem with allowing the nanny to deal with her tonight. This was fast become way too common an occurrence for him to handle well.
As unlikely as it was for his scientific mind to conclude with such a ridiculous idea, he was beginning to feel as if the child was trying to punish him for taking the comforting presence of her mother away. Although, it would be a purely Luthor move to take revenge in such an innocuous way, particularly at such a young age. If he could bring himself to believe in a God, he could just imagine God would be punishing him for Chloe, using the symbol of their union. How very David and Bathsheba…
'This is a useless line of thinking! It gets me nowhere…' A two and half month old child did not consciously plot things, and if there were a God, he would have been rotting in hell years ago... It was better to focus on the facts! The facts were that his infant was going through a rough time in her development (at least rough for all those around her) and inconveniencing everyone around her.
There, that was a safer line of thought. He allowed himself the luxury of indulging in the feelings of frustration and irritation rather than the morose depression of self-loathing that must always be avoided if he were to continue to stay strong and able to complete his goals. Living with a baby was just not pleasant sometimes. These were the facts.
Even Lena had quickly decided that boarding school was not so bad after spending a weekend at home soon after Lillian was born. He'd actually been rather surprised how well she'd taken the news about a baby sister. All of Metropolis knew he over-indulged his first-born and thus she was a bit prone to fits if she didn't like something. She had thrown an enormous fuss over the boys. Either she was growing up and wasn't as possessive of him or she didn't find Lily to be as much of a threat to her position as her half brothers. Although, had he been in Lena's position, he would certainly have considered Lily a threat. To his heart if nothing else…
It was odd how much more attached he was to his first born and his youngest. Especially when you considered that when he first discovered his heir was to be a girl, he had decided to make due, and immediately begun planning how best to ensure she did not fall into any of the more common weaknesses most women seemed prone too. If he were any other man he would have accused himself of indulging in the "daddy's little girl" syndrome common to so many men, but while he certainly spent money on them like princesses, no one could accuse him of coddling or encouraging Lena to be childlike and completely dependent on him. He certainly wanted her to be molded by and directed by him, but an heir without the ability for free and creative thought was not useful.
He cocked an ear. The baby was finally wearing herself down to hiccupy sobs. Time to try to get a few hours of sleep in, then…
The Next Day…
The inside of Lex's office simmered with barely restrained anger. Still he was plagued by the aftershocks of The Alien's accusations and his flight from the Whitehouse! Oh, the public had finally settled down and for the most part forgotten any sins in favor of the old picture of the charming ex-president, the solid business man, the dotting father, but still the important people remembered... He picked up the phone in frustration.
"Cynthia, fax all urgent information to my inner office. I don't want to be disturbed unless it's an emergency!"
Around three he began sorting through the daily reports that filled his secretary's box everyday. There were simply too many of them…even speed reading, he didn't manage to go through everything he insisted be sent directly to his office. The most important stuff he had on the priority list, to be given to him when he asked what imperative things he needed to look through, but he still liked to scan through an outrageous number of more routine reports whenever he had time. A few of these included little details he didn't want anyone to realize the importance of. Indeed, usually they didn't look like anything unless one knew what they were looking for.
As the paperwork dragged on he decided to switch to the more personal reports on his new infant. He'd been trying to limit his actual time with the baby to avoid losing himself in the madness he'd indulged in before her birth, but he had daily updates from the nanny on his desk everyday, not to mention written updates from doctors. He'd found written reports helped his focus on what was really going on with the child rather than his emotional reactions to her.
At first the nanny seemed to take his unusual demand as a mildly insulting question of her professional abilities, and had bristled at the most routine questioning regarding the baby's condition and activities of the day. Eventually, after two months of this routine the woman seemed to have resigned herself to frequent "progress reports" demanded by her employer. He expected all of his special projects to be run exactly per his orders, properly and thoroughly tested, and all progress reported to him directly. And Damn it all! That meant his children too!
Just because this project happened to be living and breathing didn't mean it should be glossed over and ignored the proper attention needed. For that matter it, it was even more important that this be handled properly. He had more at stake. His sanity apparently… He hadn't enjoyed the teenage years the first time through, when Brainiac had sped up Lena's growth, and now that she'd been there again for a few years, he could conclusively conclude this was not the ideal age to engage in parenting. Particularly when one's child had huge amounts of spending cash and a large streak of rebelliousness. The latest "Luthor heir" scandal had involved underage drinking, an upscale mall in LA, at least partial nudity, and LOTS of publicity.
It was past midnight when he finally arrived back at the penthouse. He headed straight for the bar in his bedroom, but sank onto the instead. The ghosts were whispering again…
"I'm not letting you drag my child into this Lex…"
He groaned, trying to ignore the voices of the past, or his conscience, if it had survived to this point.
She'd tried to hide the fact that his child existed. It had been five months before he discovered her deceit and it had broken all possibility of reconciliation. No one got between Lex Luthor and his offspring. They were his to nurture and mold, and he would allow no other to disrupt his plans for them, not even their mothers. She should have known better after the Contessa and Margaret.
The last time they'd been together she had been repulsed by him. Their discussion had started with her anger and outrage at his involvement in a ploy that had ended thousands on innocent lives. But it had been the real end, and a part of him had known it. It was only the cruelest of irony that it was that night that Chloe had accidentally conceived his child, and in the weakness she often showed, decided to keep it despite the power this gave him over her.
A wail of distress interrupted his musings.
He ran a hand over his head in frustration. Standing up, he poured himself some Bourbon from the bar conveniently placed inside his bedroom. 'I'd better take that with me' he thought as he was reflexively beginning to place the empty glass back on the counter. He refilled the glass and headed determinedly towards the baby's room.
The nanny looked at him uncertainly as he entered the room, unsure as to why he was there, and if she should be embarrassed that the infant was still upset despite her efforts. He'd been suspecting for some time that he'd been giving her the impression he found the child more irritating than appealing and this reaction certainly confirmed that belief. He reached his free arm to take the child from her. She paused but handed the infant over, abet a tad reluctantly. He received the child gracefully despite the awkward position and settled her into the crook of his arm. It was time to take a straight forward and direct approach with this child.
"Calm down, you're just working yourself into physical distress." he ordered firmly but gently.
Lillian Calandra Alexis Luthor continued to scream for a minute before calming slowly from the comforting feel of him and the sound of his voice. Somewhere in her small brain it was evident that she had realized somehow that this was right…she knew that voice, and the warmth of his chest made her feel safe and secure somehow…No words described it yet, but this warm safeness, it was this definitely this person that provided it. She was sure of it now!
Grace Jones stared at the odd sight. It was not the first time the child had quieted in reaction to hearing her father's voice, but the idea that anyone found Lex Luthor comforting was such an unconceivable idea, that her mind still boggled at the thought despite seeing it first hand…
Lex placed the glass of alcohol on the stand next to the plush rocking chair, before reaching to take the bottle of formula from the gaping nurse.
"I believe I can take it from here."
He watched the dazed nanny walk out as he smirked at her puzzled frame slowly declining from view.
The baby was beginning to fuss at him. Not the loud yells he was growing so accustomed to, but a quieter noise, the whimpering sounds of an infant expressing discomfort with the current situation she found herself in. Lex quickly sat in the rocking chair and graciously offered his noble offspring her very early morning snack, before she had the chance to become upset again and express her full confidence that Lex was a 'King Among Men' by throwing a baby version of the spoiled princess act. One that would have even Lana Lang's envy.
He enjoyed feeding her: the feel of providing her the needed energy to continue supporting her entire ability to live was quite a power rush. There had always been something addicting about parenthood to him…the power and control he was always seeking seemed to be complete when you looked into an infant's eyes and saw the complete dependence and trust there. Those eyes would just stare back in the blind faith that no one could be more vital or important to them. His fears before Lena was born that Superman would be the child's idol like so many other brats, seemed foolish now that he knew the truth. In a child's eyes you were always the strongest man in the world, no one knew as much as you did, and no one could ever replace you…
The thrill of being someone's whole world…
Gray-blue eyes stared back up at him. He wondered idly if they would stay that color, or turn green like hers. Genetically it was a fairly even chance either way, and although it would be months before he knew for sure, it didn't stop him from wondering.
Best not to think of Chloe, it was no useless now… Think of what you do have. Think of the baby… This newest foray into parenthood was more than worth her loss, wasn't it? Yes…. his child… their child…. This was more than he had dreamed of before…
He had wanted parenthood the first time…wanted the legacy, the added respectability and position, the little mind being molded by none but he… But when he found out about this one, it was not a desire. It was something obsessive, something that had gripped his entire being and focused it on this burning need for the child now held in his arms. And it had been completely unexpected.
Oh, he had thought secretly to himself before how thrilling it would be to see Chloe so completely his, bound to him by the deepest of emotional and physical bonds. Even in moment or two of weakness he had allowed himself to consider the idea of their child and perhaps even love between them and such a child. But all these distractions had been pushed away into the farthest reaches of his mind. He could not afford such blatantly emotional and unproductive thoughts to distract him. And then the dream became reality, and the flood gates of his mind and soul and had poured out…
Even by his standards of behavior it was obvious that he had gone completely mad with fury and possessiveness when he found out about the child, especially when this knowledge was tied to the knowledge that her mother had tried to keep her from him. Something within him had snapped at the knowledge of her existence and he was still trying to figure out how and why it had all happened. Even the feelings he had for Chloe, his goals for destroying Superman, his entire life, had taken a backseat to his absolute need to ensure his child was not parted from him. Ever.
He'd hardly dared think of Chloe since Lily had been born, too afraid the feral instincts to destroy everything but the child he must have, would return, and too disturbed by the implication his extreme reaction to this child had about his feelings for her mother.
It had been doomed from the beginning. Chloe was a pendulum swinging from passionate regard and the strength of Luthors, to morality and once again enthralled with 'the truth', and he had always known that when the pendulum stopped eventually, it would not be on his side.
He'd proven himself right in the most extreme and final of ways. He'd destroyed her, even has the pendulum slowed to its final resting place. She'd been crushed, broken, and bleeding: heart, mind, and soul as he'd taken their child away from her, unwilling to let anyone not fully loyal to him to touch her. In securing his most valuable gift, he had lost the one who made it so precious.
He looked down at the eyes that were beginning to droop.
"It's just me and you against the world. Feel up to the challenge, my dear?"
She blinked sleepily at him.
That would do. She was all he needed anyway…
End