Title: Anything is a Weapon
Rating: G or K
Summary: Obi-Wan finds an unusual weapon. Qui-Gon thinks he is insane.
Disclaimer: I do not own any JA or SW characters, just the random insane plot.
A/N: So, this idea sort of came to me when I was playing around inside with a tennis ball and the racket. Why we have them, I'm not sure why, its not like we have a tennis court…anywhere…
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Qui-Gon Jinn was sipping a cup of hot tea and looking at his padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, quite strangely. However, his padawan had a seemingly innocent look about him, but Qui-Gon knew that whenever his padawan looked innocent, he was up to something, and it was never anything good. "Padawan," he began.
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan asked; his face still full of innocence.
"What are you up to?"
"Up to?" Obi-Wan repeated.
"Yes, Padawan, what are you up to?"
"Well, I had gotten out of bed this morning, took a shower, got dressed, remembered I had to pee, and now I'm on my way out."
Qui-Gon sighed and rubbed his temples. "What I mean, is what. Are. You. Up. To."
"I. Don't. Understand."
"Obi-Wan, how can you not? It is a simple question, one that I have asked you many times!"
"Well, Master, I told you everything that I have done so far today and that I am going out."
"Fine. Where are you going?"
"Umm, I believed I had said out, as in going outside. Did you miss that part?"
"Now he's getting smart with me," Qui-Gon said to himself.
"Master, I do hope you are not going crazy, because then I would have to get another master and you would be locked in a rubber room. But then, knowing me, I would sneak out from my new master, break you out, and then we would become fugitive Jedi and settle on Tatooine where I would meet a beautiful young lady and become so smitten with her that by the time we are no longer considered fugitive jedis I will not want to go back to the Temple. So please Master, don't go crazy; I'm not ready for that sort of life yet." Obi-Wan finally paused to breathe.
Qui-Gon just looked incredulously at his padawan; he had no words to keep up with a tirade of that magnitude and thought.
"If that is all, I'm going to go out and practice with my weapon."
Suddenly, something clicked in Qui-Gon's head; the boy didn't have his lightsaber. "And pray tell me, how are you going to practice without your lightsaber?"
Obi-Wan's eyes lighted up. "With this!" he said brandishing a yellow tennis ball and a purple racket.
Qui-Gon lifted an eyebrow and muttered something along the lines of 'where did I go wrong,' however, that was the edited version.
"Anything is a weapon, Master." He said noting his master's worn face.
"Maybe the racket alone if you're beating a bush or rug to death. It will not work against a real opponent."
"Maybe the rug or the bush is a real opponent!"
"And you think I'm the one going crazy?"
"Just come outside and I will show you, I even have a practice target."
"Is it a dartboard?" Qui-Gon asked sarcastically.
"Kind of, pretty much, actually, yeah."
"You might want to work on your negotiating skills."
"Like I'll become a galactically-known negotiator and they'll all call me: Obi-Wan Kenobi, The Negotiator."
"That's not very original."
"Politics never are."
"I think that's the first thing you've said today that I have agreed with."
"What? You didn't believe I got out of bed, took a shower, and got dressed? You couldn't even believe that?'
"No, what I can't believe is that we are going outside so you can show me how a tennis ball and racket can be a weapon."
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Outside
"Watch, Master," Obi-Wan said. He picked up the tennis ball and threw it in the air; he brought his arm back and hit the ball as it came down with the racket. The ball hit the center of the dartboard with a resounding crack. "You see if that had hit someone it would have hurt."
"It still would not do anything to anybody."
"Fine, you try," Obi-Wan said handing the ball and the racket to Qui-Gon.
"Alright, I'll try this foolish game of yours," he said and threw the ball into the air. Unfortunately, he didn't take into account the little green troll walking towards them. He swung his arm back and hit the ball…in the wrong direction. A loud thud was heard and Qui-Gon swallowed heavily. "I think it's time to go to Tatooine, Obi-Wan."
"Do you think I'll find a beautiful young lady there?"
"Does it matter? We're going to have a very angry Master Yoda when he comes to."
"Point taken. Run?"
"We'll take Mace with us and run like Hell itself is on our heals."
"But I didn't think we believed in Hell…"
"Run!"
"I'm going, I'm going."
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A/N: I hope you all enjoyed it. And please Review!