Do you remember "Is there a Doctor in the House?" Well… Slade is at it again… why doesn't the man LEARN?! You can read this without having read the one-shot, but you might want to take a look… it's short…

Warning: crack. Completely meaningless, but hopefully good for a laugh… oh, and a bit naughty too! Based on my pic "Curious Cat Boys" on Deviant Art. (can be found through my 'homepage' link on my bio...)

Dedicated to GraysonGirl for describing how Red looked in that pic, a few minutes before I posted it... scary! I think I have found all the cameras in my room by now… ;o) Oh, and just as payback for that, I'm borrowing somthing of your in this... ;o)

Also to kodokumegumi and LuCiFelLo on Deviant Art, as I just adore their styles, and I THINK they like kitty-cats too, so I hope they will like this… poor payment for all the wonderful drawings, but…


Is There a Vet in the House?

Robin groggily sat up. His tail twitched in irritation and his ears turned this way and that, trying to determine where he was and what had happened.

Waaaait…

Robin sat up straighter. Tail? Ears that moved?

"Hello, apprentice. How are you- oh, damn… not again…"

Slade, for the second time in a short while, wanted to bang his head against the wall until it broke. The wall that is. Or his head. It didn't much matter. A week ago he had received a new formula of the net, promising 'gained flexibility and strength'. Perfect for his apprentice, he thought. This time, though, he tested it first… He had given a dose to Red X, but the damn thief had slipped out of his clutches somehow, because when he had come to check on him in the morning the cell was empty. Well, that was proof the drug worked, Slade had decided, and had given his unsuspecting and reluctant apprentice one as well. And now…

"Mew?" Robin asked, worriedly.

"Oh, fuck… please tell me that you can at least talk?" Slade groaned, and then had second thoughts. Last time he had messed things up, silences had been rare and much appreciated.

Robin narrowed his eyes. Of course he could talk! He tried to concentrate, but found it rather difficult… his head seemed to be filled with sunbeams, fuzzy things, and stuff that made squeaking noises. He closed his eyes.

"Yes?" he tried, and the man seemed to relax slightly.

"Well. Good. At least-"

There was a loud banging noise from the vents, coming closer, and suddenly something fell through the vent in the sealing. At the very last moment it seemed to turn around and then landed lightly on its feet. Robin hissed.

"Awww… I'm so good, it's scary!" the something seemed to say to itself, before noticing a still hissing Robin. "Hi kitten!" it said, delighted.

"'M no kitten!" Robin spluttered, his tail twice as big as before and standing straight up. He was still crawled up on his bunk, ears flat against his head.

"Well ya got the tail for it!" the creature commented. "Niiiice tail, by the way!"

"Think so?" Robin sat back and started stroking the black fur on it, smoothing it out. He couldn't look ruffled now, could he?

"Yeah! I'm Red. Got food?" the other cat… or boy… came to sit on Robin's bunk as well, but Robin didn't mind. I've got a pretty tail…

"Ask him." Robin nodded towards Slade, who was frozen to the spot.

There are two of them, was the man's first thought. Slade just stared at his former apprentice and the new arrival, who had to be the thief. He didn't have his mask or costume anymore, but the ears and tail was kind of an obvious sign. Their bodies were smaller, Slade saw. Not much so, but enough for Red X to get into the big air vents of the old factory in which Slade's base was located at the moment. Probably being able to jump high enough and being extremely limber would have made it easy for the boy to escape. He didn't seem too interested in running at the moment, though… They both had pointy ears and long, expressive tails sticking out over now rather low riding pajama-pants in Robin's case, and a tattered pair of boxers in Red's. Robin's new appendages were black and silky smooth, matching his hair, and the thief, being a natural redhead, had matching ginger ears and a striped tail. Suddenly Slade realized that two pairs of eyes were studying him closely. One pair blue and the other a muddy green-brown. Their eyes seemed larger, though… their noses somewhat smaller… not inhumanly so, but there were differences.

"Who's he?" Red asked.

Robin's brow furrowed. He knew this one... the man was… Bob? ...Lucy? He shrugged.

"Brings me food." he answered.

"Ahhh… a servant…" Red nodded, and Robin copied him.

Slade sighed.

"I'll get you breakfast…"

A few days later, Slade was furiously working on an antidote, and even though the man had tried to kick him out, Red was still around. Keeping the two imprisoned seemed to be quite impossible as well… thankfully the cat-boys seemed to suffer from quite a serious affliction: as soon as they happened to come across a patch of sunlight, their legs simply appeared to give out and they promptly fell asleep in a huddle. They were quite cute when they were sleeping.

They moved rather strangely, and although they walked on two feet for longer distances, they usually crouched as soon as they stopped, and their nimbleness made in possible for them to be comfortable on all fours as well. Slade preferred them to stay on the floor, because they both walked like slightly tipsy cheap whores, swaggering in an almost impossible way, and frankly, it made it hard to focus.

Slade had tried to work with what he got, but even if Red, the ginger tabby, had a healthy addiction to things that glittered, Slade found it impossible to send him out on a mission… the boy just came back with anything, to display it proudly at Slade's feet. Last night it had been a plastic bag.

"Caught it!" Red half said, half meowed. "Was trying to fly away!" he pawed at it a bit, as if daring it to try anything again. "Killed it." he decided, and looked up at Slade for praise.

"Very… nice…" Slade tried to restrain his anger by patting his feet on the floor. In the next minute he was howling in pain.

"Robin! Bad cat!"

Robin withdrew his claws, and looked peeved. Slade had not been happy when he first noticed that the pair had gained those retractable deadly weapons on their fingertips. Cats can't be trusted with weapons.

"Was hunting!" Robin declared. "Bob's no fun…" he said to Red, and started to lick the other boy's ear.

"Don't mind the help." Red soothed him and washed Robin's ear in turn.

"My. Name. Is. Slade." the man hissed, very catlike, actually. He was ignored.

The man chose to sullenly stomp off and let his two captives occupy each other for a while.

They seemed to get along, even though they were quite different… Red was brash and always in some sort of trouble, and had already, somehow, earned himself a slight tear in his left ear on one of his expeditions. Robin had licked it and told him he looked tough.

Robin, Slade never let him out, was the clever one… if 'clever' was the right word… He was also rather vain, and as soon that he had figured out that the cat in the mirror wasn't an enemy, he had spent some time admiring himself. Slade found it hard not too, as well… especially since both Red and Robin occasionally forgot to dress. Slade had provided clothes that would accommodate both a tail and their improved flexibility, but they got sidetracked quite easily. When Red was let out, Slade insisted on clothes, though. Jump City might only raise its collective eyebrows at a boy with cat-ears and a tail…but a naked boy of the same description might lead to some questions.

Slade sat down by his desk and had a full three minutes of peace.

"Watcha' doin'?" Red asked, leaning over him.

Slade closed his eye. This was very much like the last time he had bought stuff online… This time, though, there were some advantages. He quickly grabbed a ping-pong-ball from a drawer and threw it, blindly, over his shoulder. There was a rattle as the half-cat scrambled after the thing, and played with it for several seconds before coming back.

"I'm boooored."

Slade threw another ball. Eventually the toys did run out, though. That was the thing… they never brought the damn balls back… Both cats moved in on him this time, and soon Red was hanging over his shoulder and Robin had slipped into his lap. Red soon tired of being ignored by the man and went to raid the fridge. Robin, on the other hand, seemed sleepy, but wouldn't quite settle. Clawed hands trampled Slade's chest as if trying to make it softer. Slade had enough. He brought his hand up to Robin's head, in an attempt to grab the boy's hair and throw him off, but as his fingers buried themselves in the black tresses, Robin tensed and then went completely limp. As Slade stopped, the boy butted his head against the man's hand, asking for, or rather demanding, more. When Slade's fingers slipped behind a very silky ear, there came a deep rumbling noise from the boy. He purred.

"Woooha! What's that?" Red, with a mouth full of grilled chicken, wanted to know.

"Dunno… feels goooood." Robin answered sleepily.

"Do it to me! Please-please-please!" Red begged Slade, and kneeled by the chair.

"Only if you remember my name." Slade grinned down at him cruelly.

"No fair! Robin can't!" Red objected.

"Can too! It's… Sally?" The purring boy tried.

Slade sighed again.

"Close enough…"

Soon he had two loudly purring kittens in his care.

"Told ya he wasn't useless…" Robin sighed happily and snuggled closer.

"Good chicken too…" Red admitted, which was, in his opinion, very much like a declaration of love.

After that, Slade found it somewhat easier to control the boys, as he now had a reward to dangle in front of their eyes. They even managed to learn his name, and, on a special occasion, Red actually brought back the diamonds he was supposed to. The boy received a tummy-rub for that, which made him purr louder than ever, and made Robin insanely jealous. That might be why the boy, late in the evening when Red was soundly asleep in a mountain of pillows, decided to be daring as well. He was sprawled over Slade's knees at that moment, just hanging limply. To Slade it looked to be the most uncomfortable position in the world, but the boy had chosen it himself. If it weren't for Robin's tail sweeping over his face now and then, Slade wouldn't complain… he did, after all, have a very nice view of the boy's ass. Suddenly Robin tensed and slowly lifted his head. His ears were pointed towards a dark corner and the end of his tail twitched erratically.

"What is it, boy?" Slade asked, suddenly feeling like he was in a Lassie-movie.

"Mousey!" Robin whispered and Slade took a look for himself. It wasn't a 'mousey'. It was a large, flea ridden, mangy sewer rat. "Mine!" Robin exclaimed and jumped. Slade came to his feet, having a feeling that this might not end well. The rat, even when being attacked by a human-sized cat, wasn't impressed. It made a noise. Robin, apparently having expected the thing to run, stopped. The rat moved closer. Robin backed away. The rat moved again. Robin decided to retreat and quickly climbed onto Slade's back, and, standing on the man's shoulders, hissed at the hideous thing.

Slade, with Robin still balancing on his shoulders like it was no big deal, took a few quick steps forward and kicked the rat into a wall. Its lifeless body slid to the ground, leaving a rather gross stain, and before Slade could stop him, Robin was there. The boy tossed the rat's body around the room in triumph, until a firm grip on his tail ended the game.

"Whyyyy?" the cat wailed.

"That rat is filthy, Robin. You are going to take a shower."

"Agaaaain?"

"Two days ago isn't 'again', young man."

"Whass-goin-on?" Red lifted his head from the pillows.

"Slade saved me and now he's making me baaaathe!" Robin complained.

Red snickered, but winced as his own tail was caught.

"You'll come too." Slade decided, and proceeded to drag the two unwilling bathers along.

An hour later, after kicking the boys out of his bed when he had found them there, Slade had to change the damp sheets. Robin and Red had apparently thought that his bed was the ideal place to dry after their shower. Slade didn't get it. The boys had perfectly fine bunks, but if he wasn't careful he woke up in the morning, teetering on the very edge of the large bed, with at least one of them sprawled across its width or length. They also had the bad habit of sleeping on top of him, which always made him wake up with a back-pain and sometimes a rather… intimate problem.

He sighed as he came into the room with fresh sheets, just to see the two of them curled up cutely in the middle of the stripped bed once more. Naked again, he noted.

"Out." He ordered, but was again ignored. Robin even lifted his head and yawned at him, before settling it back on Red's stomach.

Slade growled, dragging the both of them off the bed and proceeded to change the linen. The cat's helped. Kind of. Robin had a small panic attack when he couldn't find his way out from under the covers, and Red, seeing the enticing way the covers moved, jumped on them. It ended up with Slade having to change everything, including the ripped duvet, again.

As he was finally done, the man was too tired to kick the boys out, and, after stripping down to his boxers, just collapsed on the bed and fell asleep.

He woke up, hours later, to whispering voices. He pretended to still be sleeping, so he wouldn't get involved in whatever the boy's were discussing. It turned out he would anyway.

"Dare you to lift the cover!" the slightly trembling voice of Robin said, making it clear that he didn't dare himself.

"Sure!" Red's voice was full of bravado, as usual, but nothing happened.

"Weeeell?" Robin asked.

"What if he wakes up?" Red said uncertainly, making Slade more alert. What were the little devils planning now?

"Naaaah… he won't!" Robin insured his friend.

"Sure?"

"Yeah… do it!"

Very slowly Slade could feel the covers lift.

"Wow… It's still there!" Robin breathed.

"Told ya so! I felt it a few nights ago… it's really hard!" Red whispered back. Slade froze. Did he have a…? Yes… damn… He was about to roll over when Red whispered gleefully.

"Dare you to touch it!"

Robin made a mewing sound, and Slade just couldn't move. He had set a firm rule for himself to 'see but not touch'. They were both in their teens, for god's sake, and they had tails! It was just not done. He prided himself on his willpower, and had not planned to succumb to anything remotely naughty concerning his apprentice and the house invader. But he was now frozen to the spot. Slade managed to open his eye just enough to watch the two that were sprawled on either side of him.

"I can? I can touch it?" Robin asked.

"Gotta take it out first, I guess…"

"Huh?"

There was some careful manipulation of his underwear, involving sharp claws, and suddenly Slade felt that he was naked.

"There! Touch it!" Red urged the younger teen on.

"That's… that's his thingy! His thingy is all read and swollen!" Robin sounded worried.

"That's no thingy, that's a cock!" Red explained, having the unlimited knowledge that only a few years of seniority could give.

"Ya think it hurts?" Robin asked again.

"Don't know…"

"I… I'm gonna touch it!" Robin said, clearly gathering up all his courage.

Slade felt the tip of a finger quickly brush against his now rather aching erection.

"It's smooth…" Robin half purred, and, gaining more courage, he wrapped his fingers around the shaft.

"Let me!"

Another hand joined the first, and it was all Slade could do, not to come right then. He closed his eye, trying to think of mangy rats.

"Oh-oh… it's… it's leaking!" Robin noted, sounding even more worried now.

There were some puffs of air, tickling Slade's groin and Red said reassuringly.

"Smells nice. Don't think he's hurt…"

"Are we in trouble?" Robin's voice was shaking at this point.

"Maybe." Red didn't sound worried in the least. "Wanna stop?"

"Yeah…" Robin said unsurely, and Slade almost groaned in frustration. "But we can't leave his thingy dirty! He will know!" the former hero decided, and Slade nearly cried out as he felt a hot, quick tongue swipe the length of his shaft. The boy's tongues had been slightly altered as well, and were now a bit longer and flatter, making them extremely agile. Thankfully they weren't quite as rough as real cat tongues, though, and Slade was a very happy man at the moment.

"I'll help." Red offered, and Slade's hands curled in the sheets as a second, eager tongue joined the first.

Suddenly Robin giggled.

"What?" Red wanted to know.

"You licked my lips."

"Was it nice?"

"Tingled."

"Wanna do it again?"

"'Kay…"

Slade dared to open his eye again, just to take a peek, and wished he hadn't. The two boys were leaning over his body, letting their tongues lick and play with each other. They weren't quite kissing, but it was damn hot. Robin broke away after a few minutes.

"Nooo… it leaked more now!" he whispered, and then Slade got all the attention for a while. It was more than he could stand, and who could blame him? He repressed a groan as he came, several times, over his own stomach.

"Oh, no, we broke it!" Robin screeched, and if Slade wasn't already awake, he would have been now.

"Sssshhhhh!" Red swatted at Robin's head.

"S-sorry… but… but… look… it's getting soft and all that white stuff… do you think it exploded?" Robin turned anxiously to Red.

"Naaahh.. I… I think…" Red tried desperately to remember. He had known what the man's thingy was called, and he thought he knew more, but right now he couldn't for the life of him remember… it was something familiar about this, though… "I… I think it's ok…"

"What is this?" The black-eared cat gingerly touched a puddle with his finger. Slade watched, despite himself, as the boy brought the substance first to his nose and then licked at it tentatively.

"Sweet?" Red asked.

"Nah… salty…" Robin decided, smacking his lips.

"Shoot… thought it was cream…" Red huffed.

"'S good!" Robin's eyes lit up, and he bent over to lick at one of the puddles.

"Lemme try!"

The boys had Slade cleaned up in minutes, and then settled against him.

"Wonder if it'll do it again?" Red yawned.

"Maybe… maybe we should ask first." Robin clearly felt remorseful.

"Yeah…" Red agreed. They both were quiet for a moment and Slade thought that they had finally fallen asleep.

"Red?" Robin called out carefully.

"M-mhm?" a very sleepy cat answered.

"I… I think I want Slade to mount me."

Slade had a small stroke.

"Wha-?" the tabby exclaimed, and Robin quickly covered his mouth with his hand.

"Sshhh… I know… it's weird!" Robin complained.

"You're a boy!" Red pointed out.

"Yeah." Robin said, sounding downhearted.

"And he's a boy too!"

"Yeah…. a big boy…" Robin agreed.

"And you want him to do what?" Red asked, astonished.

"Dunno…" Robin confessed. "I… just want him on me… in me… kinda…"

"Wow…"

"Yeah…"

"Why?"

"He's… he's big… and he saved me from that monster and…and he smells good… and he brings us food…"

"Yeah, he's my hero…" Red claimed, completely forgetting that he used to call Slade 'the help'.

"Mine too…" Robin purred.

"Well, then…Sounds great." Red decided.

"Really?" Robin asked hopefully.

"Yeah! Can I watch?"

"Sure." Robin shrugged. "But he'll never do it…" he added quietly.

"Well, just tell him to!" Red sounded impatient, demoting Slade back to servant. Cats took what they wanted, and that was it.

"Yeah, maybe…" Robin sounded unsure. "Owww… now I'm all hard and leaky too! Think it's contagious?"

"Want me to clean it?" Red offered.

"Nah, can do that myself…" Robin said, and lifted one leg straight up into the air, before curling in on himself. Slade felt his eye widen, before quickly closing it again. That was one lucky boy…

After some time of slurping sounds Robin raised his head.

"It's not working!" he said, frustrated. "It's just getting harder and leakier… If I can't get it clean Slade will make me bathe again!"

"I'll do it…" Red sighed like Robin was a troublesome younger brother who couldn't tie his own shoelaces.

After a moment Robin started purring loudly and then suddenly stopped with a gasp.

"Hey, yours exploded too!" Red declared, and then added, a bit worried; "Did it hurt?"

"N-nah… f… felt awesome!" Robin panted.

"Weeelll… in that case… you do me now!" Red said, and rolled over on his back.

"Kay!" Robin agreed and clambered over Slade to reach.

After making Red 'explode' as well, the boys curled up against Slade once more and whispered excitingly about their new discoveries. Their assumptions might not always be correct, but they both seemed willing and eager to explore this new pastime thoroughly. As the pair succumbed to sleep, Slade smiled lazily. The antidote, if he ever found it, could wait a while, he figured… he was very curious to see what his kittens would come up with next…

The End

A/N: -smirk- this was just so fun to write! Makes me wanna write more about these two, but I don't know… maybe it's better to stop before it becomes too naughty? And it's a completely silly story anyway… but if anyone wants more and/or has suggestions, do tell…

PS. this is intense... I updated "The Peace Contract" on Friday, TWO drabbles yesterday (Saturday) and one today… and all because I'm sick, so I alternate between writing and napping... got the flu… not going to work tomorrow, so I might write then too… But now I gotta work on the contract, so there will be at least one update before the move… CU!