A/N:This was meant to be a short experiment, since I have never written anything in first person before (except that very short über-fluff drabble, come to think of it). I usually don't like when books are in first person… I'm not sure… probably because you KNOW that if the person dies it will be by the last line, and up until then he's safe… kind off… Yeah, I might be wrong, but… well… I had to try it for myself, and it turned out to be pretty fun… this is not dark, I actually hope you will find it amusing, although you might have trouble keeping up with Robin's thoughts later… just read slowly and take a deep breath… It's a free-standing story (is there another, better, word for that? I need to know!) so just dive right in…
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or anything connected with them… not even a T-shirt! Damn! Send me one!
Just looking
It all started when I finally found him… You knew all the research I did? Locking myself in my study, hovering over every clue I had been able to scrape together, every newspaper clipping, every witness report? Well, it wasn't a waste of time… My team didn't know the extent of work I was doing, though, and back then I had no clue as to why I didn't tell them, but… well, I was obsessed. I didn't question the hours I put in and I didn't question the methods. To blackmail the low-lives of Jump to report anything they saw to me or get arrested on the spot, might not have been to my friends liking… especially not when I had caught said scum with their hands in the cookie jar, sort of speak, to make them agree. But it worked. The reports weren't exactly pouring in, but there were a few per week and, after some time, they pointed to a specific neighborhood. After that, it was just a matter of nights, searching.
Now, you might think, I told my friends. I didn't. Yes, I'm a complete idiot, but still… obsessed, you know?
It was in one of the run down factories I hit the jackpot. I entered through a broken skylight, and quietly made my way trough the high rafters when I spotted a dull light. A few moments later I saw him. It was the first time in weeks, and my heart started beating faster. I found that strange, that it hadn't started thumping like that until now, with all the sneaking I had done, but I let it go. I had found him. Slade. I was still hiding in the rafters, not in my usual colors, but in shifting dark grays that would melt better into the shadows. I still kept my mask on, though, anything else would be foolish.
Now I would just have to call the Titans. Just a simple call. We could catch him that very night. I hesitated, though. What if he got away? Wasn't it better, I reasoned, that I just observed him for a while? I had to make sure that this really was his base, hadn't I? And the more I learned, the easier it would be to find him again, if he got away…
So I didn't call them. I still haven't. And it's been a month.
I came to the building almost every night, sneaking in through the broken skylight, silently balancing across the wooden beams that made up the rafters. Yes. Wooden. This factory was an old building, it practically should be protected, but it was so ugly that nobody cared… It had also been added too and renovated so many times… this was the old part, though, in the heart of the factory.
The first nights I stood, tense, ready to flee or fight at any moment, if the man should discover me. He didn't. I had to remind myself that he was merely human, like me. He didn't have Beast Boy's hearing, Raven's empathy skills or Cyborg's scanners. He couldn't fly like Starfire either, so, this high up, I was safe. I still scanned the room for ways to climb towards the rafters, though, and I found a few ways up… I still had to be careful, but I would have time.
I could only see the one, large room. There were doors leading away, and sometimes Slade would disappear into one of them for varying periods of time. I couldn't see into them, however, because the inner walls went all the way to the ceiling there. Most of the time, Slade was in the mail room, though.
I studied him closely. His movements, his behavior. He could sit in front of the screens for hours, seemingly just reading, and, at those times, this stake out was pretty boring. I couldn't see the screens too well myself from this angle, and I didn't dare to get any closer. That would have been even more stupid than not calling my team.
My team, yeah… they still think I'm locked up in my room… I sneak out the window every night… getting up and down high buildings isn't exactly a problem…
It all started to become routine. Once in a while it got interesting, though. He spoke on the phone a few times, and I heard the name 'Wintergreen', making a mental note to check that out. Once I was almost found out, as Slade turned in his chair and leaned back in it, relaxing, as he still were talking with this mystery person. He was looking in my general direction, but I wasn't worried. It was dark enough. Suddenly the man tensed, and I ducked. I could hear the rest of the conversation, although only Slade's side, of course.
"What? No, I just thought I saw something… no, I'm sure it's nothing, probably a pigeon. Well, I have work to do, I'll contact you within the week." Slade hung up and I desperately tried to figure out what he had seen. Then it hit me. The refection from my mask! After that, I started to take it off as I entered the building.
Well, back to Slade. After a few days, things started to get more interesting. It was when I arrived later than usual one night, having 'enjoyed' movie night with my friends. I usually would leave the factory at around that time, and I wanted to bang my head on something as I discovered what I had been missing out on. Slade, apparently, had a schedule. He worked for a few hours every night and then… he worked out. He used his robots as sparring partners, and man… poor things… My breath hitched in my throat, though, as I watched that first session end. He rolled his shoulders and started to remove his armor. I tried not to chew my bottom lip as more of his body became visible. He was still fully clad, but now I could really make out his body type better. Very useful information… you know… width… muscle mass…. height… muscle mass… oh, did I already mention that? Very wide shoulders and chest, which made his waist look narrow, an incredible well muscled stomach and slender hips. Long, strong, toned legs and arms, all bulging with muscles without being overly 'body-building'-bulky. I think I was drooling. Just a little bit. I wouldn't confess to it then, of course, but my obsession had turned into something more serious. A lot more serious.
As I returned from my nightly observations I started having dreams. You know. Those kinds of dreams. The ones that wake you up gasping and you just have to finish what they started, if it isn't over already. It wasn't like I hadn't had those kinds of dreams before… this time there wasn't a soft, female body under mine, though… I was the one on my back, and the thing I was pressed against wasn't anywhere near soft. The first dream wasn't really graphic. It was just heat, and hardness, and pressure, and movement… Up until then I really didn't have a clue. I didn't. I thought I was a hero that wanted to stop a villain… I really did! Yeah, I know that anyone with a living brain cell left in their head would have figured it out by now, but I hadn't.
Realizing that I didn't want to catch the villain, but instead... you know… be caught by him, wasn't exactly a welcome discovery, and I spent the next couple of days really locked in my room, brooding. I wondered if I should ask Bruce for advice… I mean, he and Catwoman have practically… well... no… besides, there weren't any hot villain-chicks in Jump to put the blame on… The Bat would be suspicious…
I was drawn back, though, soon after. I just couldn't stay away… and I wasn't sorry… That night, I stayed a little longer, the sky to the east had started to grow brighter, and then… he removed his mask… He looked like an angel. No! Not the chubby cherub-type! He looked like an arch angel... you know... the warrior-type with the flaming swords? Go check them out… Anyway, I was shocked to discover that he had lost his right eye. It almost brought tears to my own, wondering who had done that to him. It was covered by a black eye patch, and it didn't take long until I found it sexy… which was rather horrible, as the next movie night turned out to be a 'Pirates of the Caribbean' marathon. Boy, I wished my uniform didn't include tights, then, let me tell you… well, no one noticed, thanks to quick thinking… holding the bowl of popcorn in my lap all night rather pissed my team off, though…
I started to come to the factory earlier every night and stay longer… from standing, alert, I had long since started sitting on the beams, leaning my back against the vertical ones. It didn't take long until I stretched out on my stomach. Being up and about 24/7 wasn't something that even a teenager could get away with forever, and one night it happened. I fell asleep. As I woke up, I was slightly surprised to be alive, considering I might have fallen off the beam in my sleep or been discovered by Slade… I might have been snoring, who knew? I was in luck, though, and not just because I hadn't been reduced to a wet spot on the floor. I was in luck because Slade just walked into the room… in a towel… I could have dropped to the floor right then… he walked around, oblivious to the discomfort he was causing me, and seemed to collect some books and papers scattered through the room. It was then, for the first time, I understood the term 'happy trail'… the fine string of hair leading down from his chest, over his abs –I spaced out a bit seeing them bare for the first time- and down, disappearing below the low slung towel… oh, yes… happy trail indeed… I wanted to run down that path, let me tell you. I moved a bit, but some sort of lagging pride forbade me to hump the beam I was stretched out on. There were limits! It was then it dawned on me that said dawn had long since passed, and it was morning. It was getting brighter inside, and the darkness of the rafters that had hid me so far, was disappearing by the minute. I swore under my breath and quickly, yet silently, left.
When I returned the next night I was in for a surprise. Robots were busy packing the place up! Already several crates were packed, and Slade was there, supervising. His armor and mask was off, but I was too agitated to enjoy the view. Slade was leaving? Why? Where? The robots finished the job and left the room. Slade looked around and sat back against a high crate. Suddenly I could hear him chuckle.
"Aren't you going to come down tonight, Robin, and say goodbye?" The man looked up. Straight at me. He couldn't possibly see me in the darkness, yet he knew I was there. I should have run. I should have pressed the alarm on my communicator. I should have done a lot of things. I shouldn't have climbed down. But I did. Again: stupid.
As I landed in front of him, he didn't even blink. He still sat on the crate, looking comfortable. The bastard.
It all has led to this. I'm standing in front of him. Unarmed. Vulnerable. And I can't move. I can't move because of his hand. It's on my hip. Just resting there, but it's more efficient than chains or steel doors at keeping me in place. He parts his knees and his fingers arches just a bit, digging into my flesh a little, making me take another step forward. And another. I stand between his knees now, and his thumb starts stroking over my hip bone. I hear a gasp and understand, by the way he smirks, that it came from me. We both know he's won. I wonder if any of us cares? I realize that I forgot to put my mask on before I came down… although, I can't remember making the decision to come down, so…
It suddenly hits me that I have no idea what he's planning. Does he know what I am feeling? One part of me hopes he doesn't… because how would he react? Angry? Disgusted? Maybe it's better if that hand would simply move up and close around my throat instead. As I think this, his hand really does move. I stiffen as his fingers ghosts up my side and towards my neck. This is it. I still can't move. I close my eyes as his fingers reach my throat… I draw a deep breath, probably my last, I figure, and then the hand clamps down on my neck. Instead of squeezing, it pulls me closer, though, and suddenly his lips are on mine. I eagerly open my mouth, welcoming him, trying to kiss back. He pulls me closer, rather roughly, and I gasp again. I mentally scold myself. Gasping like a little girl! My arms, making serious decisions on their own, come to life and wind themselves around his neck. I'm pressed up against him now, and I finally feel what that towel hid…
I get it now. This is not a game. This will not end in groping and kissing, teenage-style. He will take me… and he is huge… I make a sound into his mouth, like a whimper, and he let's my lips go for a moment.
"Afraid, little bird?" he purrs.
I nod. There's no use denying it, there's no use acting heroic.
"You should be." there's a growl in his purr now, and it makes me shiver. I still want it, though. I still want him.
His hand's cups my ass and suddenly he stands up, lifting me with him.
"I apologize for this, Robin, but I really am moving, and I have a schedule to keep. I'll deal with you later." As suddenly as he had lifted me he lets me go, and I fall. I land with a thud in packing straw and see that I'm inside one of the crates, just before it all goes dark. Slade had put the lid on it!
"Slade!" I yell out in frustration. He teased me! He tricked me! I can hear the heavy footsteps of Slade-bots and tries to push the lid open. It's stuck. Then there's a banging noise and I recognize it from before. The robots are nailing the lid shut! I panic. I start to pound and kick in the tiny space, screaming my head off.
"Patience, Robin." a purr cuts me off.
There are gaps between the planks, letting sound and some light in. And air. Can't forget about the air.
"Slade, let me out!" I just managed to keep my voice from cracking, thank god.
"Or what?" he chuckles now.
"I'll… I'll call the Titans!" I threaten, not knowing if I really would. Maybe not quite yet.
"You no longer have a communicator. Or your belt." Slade's tells me, and it's true. They are gone. I swear and he chuckles again, hearing it. "You will just have to tolerate your temporary surroundings for a bit longer, I'm afraid. We are going on a little trip."
"What? Where?" I'm scared now, more than ever.
"Don't mind that… I'll see you in a few hours... there's a bottle of water and an apple by your feet, I'm sure you can find them."
I feel like I'm hit by a ton of bricks. Repeatedly.
"You… you planned this?!"
"But of course. Bon voyage, Robin."
I snarl something ugly, but his footsteps falls away and I can't hear anything else. Wait! There are steps, coming closer! It's just the slade-bots though, and I hear them move the other crates before lifting up mine. I stay quiet. I can't break out from this, and would only hurt myself trying… instead I will concentrate on where I'm being taken… I press my face to the sides, trying to see out, but the slivers I can see are mainly just light or dark patches. Instead I draw up a mental map of the building, as far as I know it, and I concentrate on every turn the bots are making. Suddenly it goes darker and I can smell the fresh air, as well as hear the distant sounds of the city. We are outside! It doesn't last long, though, as the crate is being loaded onto something I believe is a truck. Oh, well… I know the streets of Jump like the back of my own hand… wherever he takes me, I will be able to know at least roughly where I am by keeping careful track of how the truck turns.
I am successful for the longest of time, smirking as I predict stops at intersections, knowing exactly where I am. Then… then I realize that we are heading for the highway. Leaving Jump. 'A trip' he had said… I should have guessed. Well, I know the roads here pretty well too; at least I know the direction we are going. The next city over should be in half an hour. We turn off the road much earlier than that, though, and I begin to panic as I'm starting to understand were we are going. The airport.
A few minutes later, and I'm right. The truck stops and is being unloaded. As my case is carried out I hear the sound of a plane, warming up its engines. I swallow my pride and starts shouting for help.
"That's no use, we are alone… besides, the plane will drown all your cries, my bird…"
Slade's voice can barely be heard above the noise, proving his point.
I'm completely helpless as the crate is lifted once again. Oh, I have tried to get out. But even using my legs and back, the damn crate hasn't even creaked. If I had my usual uniform, I might have had a tool or two tucked away, but this gray outfit is useless. It's actually a trial design for the Red X suit, before I decided to go with black, but it has no gadgets at all, and right now I would have been happy to have a toothpick…
It's eerie and rather cold in what I suspect is the cargo hold of the plane. Well, hopefully it has some isolation and is pressurized, or I won't survive this 'trip'… I wonder if that is Slade's intent? Naahh… if he meant to kill me that way, he would have told me… the door to the hold slams shut, and what little light there was disappears completely. Oh, great. This is cozy, isn't it? It's a damn small box. I can't stretch out, and I can't sit up… I curl up on my side and wait.
The engines roar as we take off, and I anxiously wait for the freezing cold and the lack of oxygen. Nothing happens. Well, my ears just popped, but apart from that…
I wake up. I have no idea when I drifted off to sleep, but being still for so long probably did it. I'm cold. I have burrowed down in the packing straw, but it's not the best of blankets… and it's scratchy! Wait a minute… everything's quiet! Has the plane engines died? Are we going to crash? A slam and I almost, to tell you the truth, wet my pants. Only almost, though. There's light again. I groan at my own stupidity. The plane has landed. That's all.
I make out Slade's voice in the distance, giving orders. I'm being reloaded onto, I think, another truck.
This is quite a trip. I will never complain about cramped plane seats again.
The drive lasts for about an hour, I think. Then it's unloading time again. This is getting boring. This seems to be it, though… I hear Slade's voice closer, this time, and suddenly there's a tap on my crate.
"…and this goes in my bedchamber." I hear the smug bastard say. What am I? Furniture? I want to snarl something, but I keep still and quiet. Let him worry. Not that he would… If I was to be dead by now I have a feeling that he would, at the most, be slightly annoyed…
Lifted again. Carried again. Put down again. I'm having so much fun.
Bedchamber, eh? Well, I know what that means. I'm not that dense. Well… not this time.
There's more waiting. Maybe he doesn't want to seem too eager… I mean, he's a gentleman, right? He wouldn't possibly want to come on too strong… after sealing me in a crate and shipping me off god-knows-where. Can't he just drag his butt in here and get it over with? The door opens. Damn. Couldn't he have stayed away a bit longer?
There's a creaking noise as the lid is pried open. Light floods in and I blink. Two Slade-bots and the man himself look back at me. Well. Slade looks. The robots… I don't know… registers?
"Had a nice trip?"
The balls of this man…. hmmm… No! Don't go there! Naughty brain!
"I want a refund." I mutter and start to unfold my legs. It's time for Slade to pay. I won't rest until the man sports two black eyes, even if he only has one. Unfortunately, my legs, believing I have no use for them since I haven't moved in hours, have decided not to cooperate with the rest of me. As soon as I get to my feet I collapse. Slade catches me. Of course he does. And he chuckles. Naturally. The only thing missing is if he would say-
"In such a hurry to be in my arms, Robin…?" he purrs.
I snort. There it was. He lifts me, and my damn, useless legs just hangs there, starting to tingle as they slowly awaken. About time! Still, they are too unreliable, and… wait! When did he put me down? I'm on this huge bed, and the whole room comes into focus. It looks medieval. You know, dark woods, heavy furniture, hands on thighs, wall hangings, huge fire place- wait… what was that?
"Get you hands off me!" I'm trying to sound indignant, like I never, ever wanted them there in the first place. Slade is not fooled.
"There, there, Robin, I'm just helping you to relax…" He smirks… or smiles… I'm not sure… and that damn eye of his glitters like hell. It's a good thing he doesn't have two, or… Hey, boy wonder! Focus!
"Relax, my a-" No. Not a good thing to say. "Go to hell, Slade." I try instead.
"Aw, Robin… you are still not upset about having to wait, are you?" The man teases me.
"No, it was perfectly fine, waiting to get raped… can't you tell how eager I am?" I snarl, and to my surprise he backs off. Not much. A fraction of an inch… but it's a start.
"I won't rape you, Robin." he tells me seriously.
Oh, damn.
No! What the hell am I thinking?!
"You… you won't?" there is no disappointment in my voice. Absolutely none.
The man stretches out next to me and starts stroking my chest and stomach through my clothes… oh, man, how many of those dreams didn't start like this?
"No, I won't… just tell me to stop… any time… and I will… use the word 'computer'."
"Comp- what?"
"Say 'computer' and I'll stop…"
I must look completely confused because Slade decides to give me a lecture. But then again, he loves that.
"It's a safety word, Robin… we can't use something like my name, because, believe me, you will shout that soon enough… same thing with 'no'… you can say it without really meaning it… well, 'computer' is something no one would probably say in the heat of passion, don't you think?"
"Cy might." I tell him, and he laughs at my joke. And why the hell does that make me want to smile back?
"Deal?" His hand sneaks under my top.
"Mmm…" I did NOT just make that sound. I didn't! You heard wrong! Besides, it's a good deal, much better than I had expected, and- why aren't I shouting the safety word?!
"Computer! Computer! And get your hand out of my pants!"
"What, already?" That damn smirk!
"Yes, now stop touching me!"
"No."
"What? You said-!"
"I meant I would stop trying to rape you… at the moment, I'm just touching… no harm in that, is there?"
"There bloody well is! Stop it!"
"Ah, well… maybe after you have rested then… or tomorrow… or next week..."
I stare up at him. I haven't stayed still up until now if you thought that… no, I have tried to get away non stop, but it's just too embarrassing to think about how easily he batted my fists away. My legs are still pretty numb, and kneeing him didn't work either. After hearing that, my arms fall to my sides, though, giving up ahead of time.
"H-how long do you plan to keep me here?"
"As long as it takes."
"What!?" I try to sit up, but again, Slade prevents it. "Are you telling me you will keep me here until I agree to sleep with you?" Somehow, I would have preferred him raping me… this way, I have to consent… I have to give myself to him! That's just…
"Yes. I'm only doing this because I don't want to rape you… at the same time I know how you feel about me, Robin, so why not just let go?"
The bloody man can sound so reasonable at times, can't he?
"What… what about after…?"
"I haven't decided yet."
"Well, do that then! If I'm still going to be your prisoner after this, you can go sleep on the couch! If you have one…" I add.
"Well… I might consider letting you go…"
This, strangely, annoys me.
"So all you want to do is fuck me? Why?"
"Well, to deflower the pride of the new generation of heroes…" he chuckles.
"Screw you!" another wording not very well thought through, but I ignore it.
"Can you imagine trying to save Jump from, say, Johnny Rancid, knowing that he knows what I did to you? What you let me do to you?"
"Y-you'd TELL?" I splutter, in complete chock.
"There might be a blog…"
"You…"
"And maybe a photo or two…"
"You'd never…!" I choke.
"No. I would never." he says, suddenly very serious. I blink back the tears that have started to form in my eyes and swallows. His face is suddenly very close. "That was what I was trying to tell you. I'm not a nice guy, Robin. I'm a killer. But I'm not a rapist. I might have, at one point, killed you, if someone took out a contract on you. Swiftly. You wouldn't even have felt it. But I won't hurt you like that. I won't scar you for life… but I still want you… I have no idea why… you are a bit on the young side… you will grow up to be a beautiful man, but I didn't want to wait. I didn't dare. I want to be your first… maybe I want to be your only one, but that we can figure out later… I wouldn't even have approached you like this if I hadn't noticed that you felt something for me as well… only teenage lust, maybe, but that's fine… for now…"
I was a bit stunned at his long speech and didn't really see the kiss coming until it was too late. How did he make his tongue do that? And what had he said? Did he… did he feel something for me? Lucky me, catching the eye of a mercenary. My parent's would be so proud… I can just hear them… "Oh, our son left the circus, but at least he met a rich man…" Oh. I already did that. Bruce… I never did this with Bruce, though…I chuckle into the kiss and Slade's lips lifts off mine.
"What were you thinking about…?"
"My parents." I answer before being able to stop myself.
"You can do better than that, can't you?" Slade snorted.
"Yeah, well, I thought about Batman, too." I add, dryly.
Slade stiffens, and I don't mean in a good way.
"Did he touch you? If he did, I'll kill him!" he snarls.
"What? No! Ewww!" I assure him and he relaxes somewhat again. "Possessive much?" I add, but feel somewhat pleased with that.
"Just a tad." he admits and his lips are back.
Alright, I just have to admit that this is going to happen. My stupid hands are already on his back, so I just better give up. Besides, somehow he has managed to get my top off. How did he do that without pulling it over my head? He didn't do that, did he? Man, I can't even blink with this guy around, can I? He gives me a chance to breathe.
"It's... it's still 'computer', right? The safety word?" I whisper, rather hoarsely. There's a genuine smile on his face this time, although it's a bit hungry, and I try to smile back… I'm still very nervous, though, and I think it looks a bit pale.
"Don't worry, it will be all right." he whispers in my ear and I snort.
"It better be more than 'all right', Slade… You better make this up to me!" I warn him, not really sure what I'm asking for. Oh, it might have been his lips on my left nipple, because that's what I go- oh lord! He bit me! No… he… he sucked and nibbled… but… is it normal for a guy to have nipples this sensitive? It's certainly not normal for a spine to arch like this… Oh… my… he… what, he stopped? No! Need…
"…more!" oh-oh… did I just say that out loud? Yup. I did. Slade looks smug. Well, I'm not just going to let him get away with that, will I? Besides, I want to find out some things for myself… like if he has sensitive nipples too… He has a buttoned shirt on… heck. Unbuttoning someone else's shirt is tricky! Who knew? It's not like I've done it before… damn, I must look clumsy… I hope he doesn't notiiiii-aaaah! Oh, that was… that was… what was that? He flicked his tongue over my other nipple… oh! Again! So quick! It's… oh, what was I doing? Shirt. Right. Shirt. Shirt off. Yes. Definitely. Shirt off. Focus. HA! Got it! The last button! Take that, shirt! Why didn't I just rip it? Now, how to get it off? H-
"Yeeeesss…." Oh. Me again, right? Damn. But he pinched my nipple while kissing me behind the ear… I… "Slade… I…." Forget it. I'm gonna just yank the shirt down his shoulders. He should get the drift… yes! He did! It's off! Hurray for me! It's… I'm touching his chest! I'm actually touching… I have to calm down if I don't want to come in my pants… which are being pulled down… well, I won't soil them, then. Good thinking, Slade. Saves laundry. Mmm… dusky pink nipples… I have to try and…
"Aaahh…" That… that wasn't me! It was Slade! I must have done something right, let's do that again...
"Ahh… mm…" Ha-ha! I'm a natural! Wait… is that a good thing? Well, now it is… his nipples are as hard as mine… his skin tastes… salty? Not too salty, though. Good… good… god! His hand is on my ass! Squeezing… hey, what the hell? First they abandon me and now my legs decide to work? Did I really mean to spread them like that? oh, my fingers have found his happy trail. Good fingers! I knew I could depend on you! Stupid legs… It's not fair that his pant's are still on, is it? My hands explore the trail... oh, there it disappears… naught fingers want to follow… well, can't deny them, can I? Hey, wait! He moves. Lifts one of my legs... what is he-? Oh, he pressed our groins together, that's… and that's hard! Now I…
"… need to see it…"
"So curious, aren't you?"
I said that aloud too? What am I? Brain dead? Well, his fingers are on his fly, so I guess it worked. Does he have to be so teasingly slow? I- ………………
Oh. I think I just spaced out. My... My, my, my… I think it would win a prize. Not sure what kind… Maybe an Oscar. I would watch that movie. I would buy the DVD. I would- I'm touching it! How? My fingers again… good work, guys… I can depend on you when my brain turns funny… so smooth… I'm wrapping my fingers around the base. They don't quite reach all the way around… he is a big boy, isn't he? What if he's too big? What if- his hand closes over mine, showing me how to stroke him… he likes longs strokes it seems. His hands are big as well. Maybe the myth is true? He presses us together again. Aw, damn, I really didn't want to compare! Feels good though. His hand moves… it closes over both of us, stroking us at the same time.
"Uuuhhhggghh…" Not one of my wittiest moments, this… Lord it feels good! He has to stop now or I'll… I pry weakly at his hands and, thank god, he gets it. He pushes me down on my back, gently. Is this it? I can't help but gasp… where is my courage? Here, courage! Come to daddy! Nope. It's gone. I'm all tense again. What was the safe word again? But no, he's only caressing me… mmmm… he kisses my nipples again, I like that… can't we just do that? Shoot, he stopped again. Jerk. Oh, he's kissing his way down over my stomach… Iiihh! That's my navel!
"That tickles!" I try not to giggle … I hope I was successful. Well anyway I- his mouth is on my cock. It's on my… oh god. If I knew he would do that I would have let him do this way sooner… his tongue is so hot…
"Put your legs over my shoulders."
Eh? Oh... yeah, okay… I guess I could. Just as long as he doesn't stop what he's doing… I wonder if he wants me to do it to him? He probably expects it, right? A few months ago I might have gagged at the thought, but now… I'm just dying to find out what he tastes like… I'm so deprived it's scary… Ahhh… he just swallowed me whole! How does he do that? I want to learn that! Wha-what's that? Is that a finger? No-no-no, not yet! I raise my head and look down on him pleadingly. I'm not ready! Our eyes meet. He hums… oh lord, the vibration! I arch my head back and moan like some animal. Heaven! I- what the… His finger is inside me! Sneaky son of a bitch! It feels… it feels… aaaargh he moved it! he's moving it along with his mouth! I feel all slick down there, he must have some lubricant… slight smell of almonds… yeah… some kind of oil… that was nice of him he- he's adding another one! Big hands, big fingers! Fuck! Strange…. it doesn't really hurt… there's a bit of a burning… a soreness… like stretching after the gym…
"Uh… uh… Slade... I…"
"There, there… I'm searching…"
Searching? Searching for what? What can he possibly hope to find-
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"
"Found it."
Oooooohhhh… ooooohh…I… I think I just died… my prostate… it's called the 'sweet spot', right? I see why now… sweet inde-
"-eeeeeee-aaahhh…" Okay. Points for rediscovery. Good boy Slade! More! "More!"
"Anytime…"
Does he have to sound so smug? Hey, why is he talking? Isn't his mouth supposed to be…? No, it's on my lips again. His fingers are slipping out of me… gosh, is my legs still over his shoulders? Talk about open for… oh… o-oh-oh… I feel it… I feel the round head at my opening… just… just sitting there… I- stop kissing me, you nut! Don't think for a moment you can divert my attent- he's pushing! The pressure, just like in my dreams! Now I know how good it will feel once he's inside, though… do I dare? Yes… I push back against him… Only a little, but it makes me relax and- DAMN! I think I just bit my tongue! No… it was Slade's tongue… that's all right, then… He's inside me… oh… it's big. It's big and it's still coming. He stopped… is it all in? No… he moves again. Out a bit... Am I too tight? In. Deeper. Is that his tongue in my ear? Pfffft! It tickles again! Oh! There it was! The spot! He brushed it! Still going deeper… there… I can feel his balls on my bum… He's all in! I did it! Well… he did it, but… god, he's so big, I can't believe… why isn't he moving? Maybe if I wriggle a bit? I want him to brush my sweet spot again… yes, that did it… boy, I'm good at sexual communication! Maybe I should put it on my résumé? 'Catch bad guys, (or beds them) and has amazing sexual communications skills'. Sounds good, right? Feels good. He's starting to move faster… I arch, trying to get him to rub against that area again. Can't quite…
"L-let go of my legs…" He's pinning me, I can't move like I want too. He does let go… huh… wasn't sure he would… there… I plant my feet on the bed, and lift myself up just so, and…
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS! Slade! Yes! Faster!" Boy, I can sound demanding, sometimes, can't I? Well, the important thing is that he obeys. Uuunnggghhh… he's going fast, all right… his balls are slapping against my ass… getting spanked as well as fucked here… Damn, my legs are giving out on me again! I can't hold myself up… maybe…? Well here goes nothing… there. Wrapping my legs around Slade… good idea. I like my brain. My cock is pressed against him now and the friction feels so gooooood… Mmm…. can… can feel… building… I…
"Faster… please… please…." oh, he grabbed my hips and helps me meet his thrusts… I'm… "I'm c…I…Ahhh, Slaaaade! God… yes!" I'm arching and bucking and Slade he's… lord, he's going even faster! He's growling, and that sound alone makes me shudder in another release just as he comes as well.
Ouff! He collapsed on top of me… hey, move, please, getting crushed here… damn, I'm too tired to say anything… I'm just gonna…. close… eyes… second…
…uh?
Oh… fell asleep… hmmm… this feels good… all warm and comfortable… wait. Not that comfortable, I'm sleeping on my arm… ouch… there, I got it out from under me… Is Slade awake? Should I say something? And in that case, what? I-
"Good morning, Robin."
Oh, good. He started.
"G-good morning." Did I have to stutter? I don't know if I dare to look at him… what if he looks all smug? Like 'I got you!'…? Well, I have to look at the man, this is getting weird… courage, Robin! If he smirks, just head-butt him!
Oh. He's not smirking… he looks… well… happy? Nah, Slade doesn't do happy, but at least he doesn't look full of himself. But he looks a bit… concerned? I smile a little and the concern disappears. Was he worried about me? How sweet is that? Wait… sweet? It's a mercenary we're talking about… but so what? Who says he doesn't have emotions, right? He doesn't have to be a complete bastard just because he kills people… Did I just think that? Gosh, I'm like those chicks that are into vampires and just doesn't get that if vamps existed they would just bite their head off… but this is worse… because Slade is real… He's real, and… and, what is going to happen now? He has his arms around me… is he just holding me or is he stopping me from escaping? Time to find out…
"Slade?" I better try to be sensitive about this… well, for my sake.
"Yes, Robin?"
Oh, I love it when he says my name like that… oh… focus…
"I… Slade… you know I have to go back?"
"Really?"
Oh-oh… his arms tightened… not good…
"I don't mean right this minute!" I try to joke, to lighten the mood… he's not amused… pleading to his common sense, then?
"You… you can't keep me, Slade… I'm not a thing… I would grow to hate you… we can meet… back in Jump…?"
"With you sneaking away, returning to your team feeling more and more guilty every time? Loosing sleep? No, Robin, I won't hide like that. I'm not a thing either, to be used when it fits you."
Oh, shite, he nailed that one… I actually thought of secret meetings… I thought it sounded a bit… you know... exciting, almost romantic, but when he puts it like that… it would be using him, wouldn't it?
"I'm sorry… I wouldn't want to hide either…"
"And you would not give up being a hero?"
"Would you give up being a mercenary?" I give back. He's being stupid. I can't stop being a Titan! It's who I AM… I can see that he understands. Suddenly I feel kind of sad. I wish things would have been different…
"If we just… just had met in a different way…" I try to put my feelings into words, but I'm not feeling very clever at the moment. Slade senses that and chuckles.
"Another time, another place? Really, Robin, do you think I could have fascinated you like this if I would have acted… ordinary?"
"Please don't make me feel bad…" I murmur against his chest.
"What do you mean?"
I look up on him, trying to piece the rather stray thoughts together…
"I don't want to be drawn to you because you are a villain! I want to be drawn to you… I like to think I was… as I watched you, I… somehow I… I don't know. It's stupid. I was going to say that I got to know you, but I don't know squat about you, really… like I'm still not sure if you slept with me just to-mmm…" his lips are on mine and finally stops me from talking more nonsense… if this is his way to shut me up, I would never want to talk again, thank you…
Wait? Did we agree on anything? What going to happen? I have to kno..ooooooohhhhwww… but maybe it can wait… just… a…bit…
The End
A/N: so what did you think of my little experiment? Was it irritating to read or was it ok? I'm sure there are lots of tempus-mistakes in it but I hope it was readable… The next chapter of "The Peace Contract" will be up within days, if you are waiting for it… It's almost done, but it's written in fragments and need heavy editing to make sense… well... as much sense as it's gonna make..
Until then, all the best!
/Wynja