Can I please start this chapter by saying thank you to all of you wonderful reviewers. I have never had the response I've been getting since writing TMPW and I appreciate every single review you write.
Special Shout Out to some of those who have been reviewing since the beginning, YellowAsphodel, Frankenpumpkin, and Vani12! Thank you again, and please enjoy Chapter 14.
She sat cross-legged on a thin, hand-knotted rug flush in emerald greens and deep grays.
Her hands outstretched to wind her fingers through the fibers.
"Unus ex amino," her breaths began to even, "Os ex ossibus meis."
Charlotte's head rolled backwards; her eyelids felt heavy once more.
"Spiro tibi respirare. Tibi respirare et spiritus meus."
When her eyes reopened, she stood in a narrow hallway.
Her breath hitched, taking in the thick vapors of cinnamon and butter.
Her stomach growled.
"Oh, do shut up, Peter," chortled a wizard in the corner, "Lily knows the way to your heart, doesn't she?"
The wizard had shaggy black hair, unkept in a purposeful manner, his round glasses accentuated a pair of hazel eyes.
Charlotte chuckled, throwing her breath into the noise, "Sorry, Prongs."
In Godric's Hollow, the Potter's house was a mashup of homey, almost Muggle, accents – thickly knitted blankets were carefully folded across the back of a plaid soda – and magic. A few Quidditch brooms hung near the front door, and moving photographs littered the walls in a way that flowed and showed a story.
Charlotte did not bother to look at them.
Her heavy footsteps turned Peter Pettigrew around.
She was suddenly grateful for the calming draught she had taken before this possession.
Sirius sat on a high-back armchair, his ankle propped on his knee, his arms folded behind his head. A tall glass of beer sat on the table next to him, and at his foot, a baby played.
Subtly, she did her best to avoid eye contact with the elder Black brother.
Charlotte carefully measured Pettigrew's whistling breaths.
She had been training to slip into Pettigrew's mind for the better part of a month; following him on his trips to the Leaky Cauldron for a brew, perusing the aisles at a careful distance at his grocer's. She knew every unconscious gesture the rat made, and out of caution, she raised Peter's arm to scratch below his chin.
"When isn't Peter hungry?"
Remus was in the kitchen with Lily Potter. She could hear his soft voice discussing the health benefits of cinnamon with the redhead.
Instead of following her host's urge to check on the baking cookies, Charlotte turned his feet to scan around the house.
"Are these new, Prongs?"
Charlotte gestured at the brooms at the door, carefully counting the wards place on the door.
"Just the Nimbus."
Peter-Charlotte nodded her head, as she traced the baseboards for additional wards.
The Order of the Phoenix had been creative in mapping each charm placed on the Potter house. It was lacking the typical muggle wards, perhaps to avoid suspicion, but had elaborate charms. Most were Dumbledore's – she could see the silvery print his charms left – but many were that of the Auror Department in the Ministry of Magic.
Mad-Eye.
Her chest grew hot.
"Wormtail, are you alright? You seem a bit jumpier – more than usual." Sirius was grinning at her.
"Hungry," Charlotte-Peter scratched at his sweaty chin again.
"I'll pop in and see what Lily has for snacks," Potter offered, standing, "Anything in particular?"
"Ah, some crisps would be nice. Thanks."
Charlotte noted that Sirius was now staring at her oddly.
Mentally, she checked her posture.
She had slumped forward a bit, as she had noted Pettigrew did often – he had terrible posture – and frequently drummed his fingers on his wide thighs, another habit of the rat's.
She felt a pressure between her eyes, and alarm spiked in her belly.
"What are you doing, Padfoot?"
Her effort to make Pettigrew's laugh bemused was unsuccessful. He sounded nervous, and dread weighed on her shoulder as she continued to avoid the pale grey eyes following her around the room.
She forced Peter to sit at the sofa and smile softly at the baby playing at Sirius's feet.
"He's gotten big."
"What are you doing in Wormtail, Charlie?"
Sirius spoke barely above a whisper, his eyes narrowing.
Peter-Charlotte swallowed.
"If you let them hurt this family, Charlie, I will never forgive you. Let Peter come back to his body."
"Really, Padfoot? It's Peter."
Charlotte knew her attempt was feeble.
"Peter went with James to buy that Nimbus."
She felt the color drain from Peter-Charlotte's face.
"They're coming," her words came out in a rush.
Sirius stood, his long strides brought him to the couch in mere seconds, his back to Harry.
"Where?"
"Your house. I told them you were home," she swallowed.
"I've been here all week."
Peter-Charlotte nodded.
"Then they know the Potters have gone into hiding."
Peter-Charlotte nodded once more.
"Is there anything you want me to save for you? They'll burn the lot."
For a moment, his eyes appeared to soften.
"Our picture boxes. They're under a loose floorboard in front of the television."
Peter-Charlotte nodded and stood.
"They need muggle wards," she whispered, "It looks suspicious without them."
"Harry's babysitter is a muggle – they can't have them."
"Find a new babysitter. They look like muggle sympathizers."
"They'll kill you, for telling me this."
Peter-Charlotte laughed, the noise cracked, "I have my own protection now, Sirius."
Quickly, she reached across and crushed herself against his chest, "I miss you, Charlie."
She felt the pull, like splitting a shirt's buttons, and when her eyes opened she was staring at the ceiling of Malfoy Manor.
"Dumbledore is there."
Lucius stared at her for a moment and nodded.
The lie was sweet on her tongue and she savored it for several moments until the others began flooding the front doors.
When Charlotte awoke, Severus still slept beside her.
Carefully, she slipped from the bed and padded across the bedroom.
It felt like a betrayal, to dream of Sirius sleeping alongside Snape.
The living room had been cleared of debris. All but the sofa and wallpaper had been salvaged, and Charlotte made a mental note to order a replacement her next trip to Diagon Alley. She moved through the kitchen, taking out a package of eggs and a wrapper of bacon.
Her mind fleeted as she beat the eggs and separated the rashers of bacon for frying.
Unus ex amino
Os ex ossibus meis
Spiro tibi respirare. Tibi respirare et spiritus meus.
A shiver went down her back.
After a possession, she had always felt ill.
She had vomited in one of Narcissa's potted plants and run after the horde of black cloaks descending from Malfoy Manor. Her stomach had churned as they walked through the gates, her breath feeling hitched as she affixed her mask.
Alphard Black had been kind to Sirius in his death. The gold had paid for Sirius' flat in London, and the small house he had bought a short distance from Godric's Hollow. Charlotte knew he now rented his flat to Lupin and had moved into the house to be closer to James and Lily.
Vomit had pressed against her teeth as they apparated, and it sprayed across the bushes planted on each side of the walkway. Eyes averted as she discarded her mask and emptied the remnants of her supper, pressing her fingers against her abdomen.
Even then, she hadn't known.
Evan had righted her and cleaned off her mask. He cracked a joke about the firewhiskey they had drunk at supper and elbowed her gently as they walked towards Sirius's home.
It had been difficult, but Charlotte had gotten the boxes. She had ripped the floorboards and stowed them quickly in her cloak, hiding the gesture under the pretense she was searching for relevant documents or some hint of how the Potter's home was hidden.
Charlotte flipped the bacon and set the kettle on, her fingers drumming against the counter top.
She had sent them to Sirius through owl and wondered know where they were. Likely destroyed by the aurors who had searched his home after his arrest, she thought absently, checking the pieces of toast crisping under the broiler.
Two boxes, brimming with photographs. It had felt wrong to open them, but she had. Her fingers had sifted through moving photographs of her, Sirius, and Regulus. The Potters. The Marauders at school. But the second box had startled her. Every photograph was of Charlie and Sirius, sitting together, laughing over butter beers in the Three Broomsticks, pressing backs together as they studied along the banks of the Hogwarts Lake. A small box sat at the bottom, made of worn, crushed velvet and held together with a bronze clasp.
Shaking her head, Charlotte pinched the toast from burning, quickly tossing it onto a plate as she heard the kettle whistle.
By the time Severus, roused by the kettle, made it downstairs she had fixed him a plate of breakfast and had started clearing away the mess of making it.
"Good morning," he mumbled.
She liked his tired voice. It grew husky and low, and made her belly warm. It was a stark contrast to his otherwise clipped, cold voice.
She would miss it.
Shifting on her feet, she watched him turn through pages of the Daily Prophet before settling on an article about some new potions development. The circles beneath his eyes had lightened a few shades or were perhaps offset by the fresh stubble growing across his chin.
Charlotte suddenly wondered what he'd look like with a beard.
"Remus spoke to me last night."
His words cut through the chirping sparrows outside and the rustling of his newspaper.
Her thoughts of Severus with a trimmed beard suddenly froze.
"I am not capable of it. A family."
She swallowed.
"It would be disrespectful to you, for me to tell you my feelings in plain words," Severus folded his newspaper and leaned back in his chair, "They are complex, such as our relationship. It would be wrong of me to promise things that I do not feel I can give to you."
"Like a family."
"Yes."
Charlotte took the chair across him, feeling suddenly tired.
She didn't want to look at him.
She crossed and uncrossed her ankles, staring at the patterns of the woodgrain, "Never?"
"I do not plan for the future so far in advance, Charlotte."
"Right now, then, it's never?"
Severus sighed, "Why do you do this?"
"I'm just asking."
"You and I know that the future can be disrupted at any moment."
"I know."
"Do you understand, why I feel I can promise you nothing?"
"Because you love Lily," she said, and was surprised by the coldness in her voice.
She felt suddenly angry, her tongue felt thick in her mouth.
"That is one of them."
"And because you don't love me."
"I do not feel as though I need to tell you my feelings for you. They should be clear by my actions."
Charlotte's eyes narrowed at the table, "You'd be mistaken, then."
"Remus told me that you want a family, and that you're concerned about your… previous attempts. How they may affect your ability to have a family, should the time come."
"He had no right to tell you," she whispered fiercely, "None at all."
"Surprisingly, the wolf has more loyalty to you than I would expect. He did not speak a word of it. But he is poorly trained in Legilimency."
Charlotte felt her face grow hot, "So you violated Lupin's mind to get it out of him?"
"I am not trying to make you upset."
"You're being unsuccessful," she snapped.
"I think you should go speak to Louisa."
"Louisa already knows," Charlotte's eyes lifted to narrow into slits at him, "She's the one who did it."
Severus raised a brow, "As an untrained healer."
"What is she going to do about it? You don't want a family. You're my husband. We're married. No one is going to touch me, if I'm your wife, even if we were to divorce. If the Dark Lord is coming back, no one is going to fucking touch me as your wife, ex-wife, or anything."
"I am not suggesting a divorce, Charlotte, though you've brought it up two days consecutively."
Charlotte clenched her teeth together, "Why would I see her about having a baby if you don't want a fucking baby?"
"If you would allow me to speak without becoming so emotional, I will discuss it with you further."
She seethed as he raised his newspaper back up and watched him lift his tea to his mouth from beneath an article about the Holyhead Harpies.
"I'm sorry."
The words tasted sour in her mouth.
Severus peered at her from above his newspaper and raised a brow.
"You can continue, I'm sorry," Charlotte mumbled.
He refolded his newspaper, "I would like you to go see Louisa to see if there will be complications."
"Complications?"
"Should we choose to have a family, later."
"But you just said-!" She began heatedly and snapped her mouth when his eyes narrowed.
"I said that I was not capable of having a family. At this time, I am not, and neither are you," Severus stood to take his plate to the sink, "You are an obscurial, Charlotte, and that is dangerous to an unborn child. We have an unconsummated marriage in which you threaten to divorce me, and our relationship has never transitioned beyond its original state."
"What are you saying?" Her stomach clenched with something that flipped and bubbled.
"Should our relationship develop beyond its current state, and should you cure yourself from your condition, I may be able to provide you with a family in the future."
"In the future."
"Yes, Charlotte."
She absently chewed a fingernail as he washed his breakfast dishes, "How far in the future?"
He turned to scowl at her, and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
"My feelings in this relationship," his voice had begun to sound strained, "are complicated. As are yours."
"What are you suggesting, then, to change that?"
Severus rinsed the final remnants of egg from his plate, "We will get to know one another."
"You're leaving in four days, Severus, how are we going to get to know one another when you spend nine months of the year in Scotland?"
"We could arrange visits."
Her flash of anger subsided, and she leaned forward onto her elbows, pressing her chin into her palm, "Visits?"
"Lupin has offered to accompany you to Hogsmeade."
"I would visit you at Hogwarts, and we would do what, exactly?"
An exasperated noise left her husband's throat, "We could have dinner together, you could assist me with my school plans if Dumbledore feels it is appropriate for you to accompany me at Hogwarts."
"We would go on dates."
"Yes, Charlotte, if you must label dinner."
"I'm just telling you that's what it looks like."
"Then yes, it would be dates. Are you opposed to the idea?"
Charlotte shook her head, and then laughed.
Her laughter bubbled into snorts as she clasped her hand over her mouth, aware that Snape's eyes were narrowing with every chortle that escaped her lips.
"What is so funny?"
"You are asking me to date you, and we've already married," she snickered.
"Do attempt to uphold some decorum, Charlotte."
Severus left the kitchen abruptly, descending into his basement to begin packing for school.
Charlotte hummed as she walked around the kitchen, picking up the remnants of their breakfast and setting the kettle on for another round of tea. She sent off an owl to Louisa, wanting to avoid the crowds at St. Mungo's, to ask if she could see her at Louisa's flat for an appointment.
Her fingers were unsteady as she handed the envelope to Snape's owl.
I've missed you, Charlie.
For a moment, her eyes burned.
The box nestled in between aged photographs; she had spent hours deliberating whether to open. Her fingers had wrapped around the clasp and withdrawn as though burnt. Eventually, she had gathered the courage to open it.
Nestled in a pillow of velvet sat a thin silver band, affixed with a modest diamond.
She wondered what Sirius had done with it.
No sooner had the thought crossed her mind did the kettle whistle, and she hurriedly took it from the stove.
It felt like a betrayal, to dream and think of Sirius in Severus's home.
Their home.
Perhaps Remus had been right, she thought, as she fixed a pot of tea, wafting thick fumes of cinnamon into her nose.
Perhaps she had built an image of Sirius that had simply never existed.
Could you just fucking try, Charlie?
Her eyelids pressed together, recalling his words the night at Godric's Hollow.
Could you just put in an effort to be less like Narcissa, and more like Lily?
Charlotte realized as she grabbed a fresh cup from the cabinet that she hated Lily Evans.
I wonder how it will turn out if Snape realizes that Charlotte hates Lily...?
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