Chapter 3: moments of relaxation
Three days passed and Souji was the only one who spent any time talking to the miserable boy in the cell. At the end of that third day, Tetsu reported in to the kitchen to pick up the prisoner's dinner.
"Poor child," Ayumu remarked as she handed the tray to Tetsu. "Cooped up in that nasty cell! They haven't even let him out for a bath, have they?"
"Uh, I don't think so," Tetsu replied.
"Hm. I'll have to talk with Hijikatasan about that," Ayumu said pensively.
"Yeah, right. Good luck with that, Ayunee," Tetsu said, heading down the hall and out to the prison shed.
"Thank you," Battousai muttered as Tetsu passed him his bowl of rice.
"Um… you're welcome." Tetsu sat down to watch the prisoner eat, to make sure he didn't try to break a bowl and commit suicide with a shard of it. For some reason the hitokiri in the cell reminded him of Suzu. "So…" Tetsu said awkwardly after a while. He couldn't contain his curiosity any longer. "Why is it that you… you know… why are you…"
"…a hitokiri?" the prisoner finished for him in a low monotone. "Why are you in the Shinsengumi?"
"My parents were killed," Tetsu explained. How many times had he recited his reasons to himself? "…some supporter of Choshu killed them."
Battousai was silent for a moment. Then he spoke with unwavering conviction. "Your parents would want you to be happy. They wouldn't want you to be in the Shinsengumi for their sakes."
"Don't talk like you know," Tetsu exclaimed angrily. "Anyway, you didn't answer my question."
"It's for the revolution," the boy replied quietly. "For the new era that has to come… for the happiness of the people."
"Yeah? Well, what about my happiness? Somebody like you killed my parents! You expect me to be happy in your 'new era' without them?"
The killer bowed his head. "For now," he said softly, "for now… the happiness of some people must be sacrificed."
Tetsu jumped to his feet. "Sacrifice your own happiness then!" he hollered, but tears came to his eyes, and he regretted his words, for it was obvious that there wasn't a single drop of happiness anywhere in the young hitokiri.
Suddenly Ayumu burst into the room. "Mataku ne!" she exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips. "Look at the pair of you! Gloomy, gloomy! Tetsu, are you crying? And, Battousaisan, I've never seen such a dismal expression, not even on my brother's face! But I've got some good news. I just bumped into vice commander Hijikata, and he gave permission for the prisoner to take a bath! Now, let's hurry, before he realizes what I asked him and changes his mind."
Tetsu grimaced. "Is this really a good idea, Ayunee?" he asked cautiously, as she bent over to examine the lock on the cell door.
"You won't try to escape when we let you out, will you, dear?" Ayumu asked the prisoner in a motherly tone of voice.
Battousai lowered his head in an abbreviated bow, his shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry, but I will try to escape at every opportunity," he muttered.
"Well! That settles it." Ayumu sighed, and stopped working at the lock. She smiled at the prisoner. "At least you're honest," she said kindly, and left as hurriedly as she had arrived. Tetsu blinked.
"That's odd," he remarked. "Usually she's not so easily discouraged." But no sooner had he made that comment than the door opened again.
"Saa!" Ayumu called out triumphantly, shoving four people into the room in front of her.
"What's the big idea, Ayunee?" Shinpachi asked, glancing about the room with a suspicious look on his face.
"Like I said," Ayumu beamed. "You're my prisoner washing squad!"
"Eeeh?" Sano asked. "what do you want us to do, throw buckets of water into his cell?"
"Goodness, no," Ayumu said. "It looks damp enough in there already. You're going to haul him out of there and carry him out to the bathhouse. He'll try to escape, of course, but with four of you to restrain him, I doubt he'll succeed."
"I don't know…" Heisuke said. "Maybe we should drug him first. After all, it took seven of us to catch him."
"Th- That's a good point," Tatsunosuke added nervously. "And, um, as I'm sure you recall, I wasn't one of those seven, so why am I--"
"Well that's very simple, Tatsukun," Ayumu said, smiling. "I've seen you scrubbing Tetsukun's shoulders for him, and, since you've taken such good care of your brother, I figured you would be able to take care of our poor prisoner as well."
"She means," Shinpachi clarified, "that she wants you to give our little hitokiri his bath."
"WHAAAT!" screamed Tatsu, gripping the sides of his head with both hands. "Me? Me- but this is- isn't he The Deadly hitokiri Battousai, killer of ten men at once?"
"Aw, but look at him now!" Sanosuke said. "He's barely bigger than Shinpachi, and without weapons…"
"He's really not that different from our own little koinukun!" Shinpachi concluded with an affectionate tone in his obnoxious voice.
"He is abeautiful boy," Heisuke added. "But we'll still have to watch out- he might stare us to death!"
"YOSH!" Sano roared. "Let's drag the little bastard out here! Me and Heisuke will take his arms, Tatsu and Shinpachi, grab his legs! Alright?"
Ayumu chuckled and unlocked the cell. Instantly Battousai darted into the room, but before he had gone two steps, the four men tackled him, wrestled him to the ground, and then carried him from the room. Tetsu followed, peeved that he hadn't been able to help.
Before long they'd dragged the struggling prisoner into the bathhouse and deprived him of his clothes. Laughing and teasing, they threw a couple of buckets of water at him. Ayumu handed Tatsu a washcloth.
"A- Ayumusan," Tatsu said, turning red. "What are you doing in here? This is the men's bath-"
"Oh?" Ayumu smiled. "And where, pray tell, is the women's bath?"
"Um…." Tatsu said, at a loss.
"There isn't one," Tetsu piped up.
Meanwhile all the men had turned and were staring at Ayumu, except for the naked prisoner, who was staring miserably at the floor. Sano's mouth hung open stupidly.
"So that means…" Shinpachi squeaked.
"Ayunee bathes in here?" Sano asked, gaping at her. "Whoa…."
"Mataku ne," Ayumu said. "We're all like a family, aren't we? It's not a big deal. Soro soro… Tatsukun." She pushed him in the direction of the prisoner.
"iiiii," Tatsu whimpered, looking ill. Already drenched, the captured hitokiri resigned himself to his fate and sat down on an upside-down bucket, shoulders hunched and head bent forward. Tatsu approached and held out the washcloth apologetically. "Here you go," he said. "I know you're a kid, but you're not a baby. You can do this yourself."
Battousai looked up through dripping bangs and took the offered washcloth. After he'd scrubbed himself for a few minutes, Sano and Heisuke threw a few more buckets of water over him.
"Well?" Sano asked, turning to Ayumu. "Has the prisoner been washed enough now?"
"Oh, don't you think you could be kind enough to throw him in the tub for a bit?" Ayumu asked, smiling with her eyes scrunched closed. "To be so young and miserable-- I'm sure he's had far too few moments of relaxation in his life."
"I do sort of pity him," Heisuke spoke up. "Hijikata wants information out of him, and you can bet he'll get it."
"Eww," Shinpachi made a face. "That's not a happy thought. Well, let's toss him in, so the poor kid can relax for a minute or three before he's tortured to death." He grabbed one of the prisoner's arms and Heisuke grabbed the other one. Sano marched over to the sliding wooden door that separated the washroom from the large tub that was just for soaking.
"Here you go!" Sano announced, throwing open the door. "Into the tub!" As he said the words, Heisuke and Shinpachi enthusiastically shoved the prisoner through the door, cheering victoriously at the large splash that followed.
"what the-" growled an extremely angry voice from inside the bath. All six people remaining in the washroom gasped in horror. A cloud of steam from the opened door to the bath cleared, revealing, in the tub, one exceedingly infuriated vice commander.
Hijikata blinked at the red-haired hitokiri in the tub with him, and then looked up at the crowd of speechless people in the doorway. Heisuke hid behind Sano, and Shinpachi hid behind Heisuke, leaving Sano in front with no one to hide behind. As a result, it was Sano who screamed.
"GAAAA!"
"Shut up!" Hijikata commanded, starting to stand, but then thinking better of it. Sano's mouth snapped shut. Hijikata's perpetual frown deepened. "Explain this!"
"Sir, when I asked you earlier…" Ayumu said apologetically, "you said it would be fine if the prisoner took a bath."
"What? You made some comment about the water being hot- I thought you were implying that I ought to take a bath."
"Oh, is that so? Ha ha…" Ayumu chuckled unconvincingly.
"This is madness! And the rest of you went along with it? Haven't any of you an ounce of sense or reason? Give a prisoner a bath? What is the Shinsengumi, a health spa? You think he'll tell us where the damned Choshu are hiding if we scrub his back for him?"
"Eh… eh heh heh… well, it was worth a try, wasn't it?" Shinpachi asked, grinning stupidly.
"Kill 'em with kindness!" Sano supplied eagerly. Hijikata gritted his teeth.
"OUT," he thundered, and they all fled, abandoning all thought of the prisoner. Said prisoner took advantage of the panic to turn and scramble out of the tub, hoping to escape-- but Hijikata lunged forward, caught him by the ankle, and dragged him back into the water, causing him to crack his head against the floor in the process. Momentarily stunned, the boy looked up, wide-eyed and dazed, for all the world like a bewildered child.
Hijikata studied him as he gradually regained his composure. It was easy to see why Hiko had chosen this boy to train- his strength, determination, and selfless nature were obvious. He was perfect for that silly idea of 'hiten mitsuryuugi'. It crossed the vice commander's mind that he could effectively end that nonsense simply by killing the boy. It would be satisfying to see the look on Hiko's eternally arrogant face when Hijikata told him that the boy had been killed… but Hijikata had given his word. And thus far, there was no need to kill the prisoner.
Battousai frowned suddenly.
"What?" Hijikata asked.
"Nothing," the boy said in a quiet voice, looking away sullenly. Hijikata smirked at him.
"You'll tell me what you know about Katsura," he said darkly. "I won't allow you the privilege of dying until you do."
"Then I'll continue to live, and protect Katsurasan, until my comrades kill you," the boy murmured.
"I see hot water makes you talkative," Hijikata said. "That gives me a brilliant idea for how to start your interrogation."
There was no reaction whatsoever on the boy's face. Hijikata looked at his own reflection in the water for a moment. Just how evil did he want to be? As usual, it was up to him to be stoic and harsh. Without Hijikata's presence overshadowing them, the Shinsengumi captains would probably make friends with the prisoner! Well, perhaps not Saitou, who didn't seem to care about making friends. But the rest of them were just too kind. Hijikata, it seemed, was the only one willing and able to shoulder the seriousness of the Shinsengumi. So, if anyone was going to get information out of the prisoner, it would be Hijikata. The 'demon'. Of course. Something told him that it would take unheard of measures of torture to wring a single word out of the kid. What would be the fastest way? Everybody reacted differently to different kinds of torture. Hijikata studied the boy's unfathomable expression, and got the feeling that life had already been cruel to the red-haired kid. But I must be cruel too, Hijikata reminded himself.
Not all the time, Souji's voice answered in his mind.
Thinking of Souji made Hijikata feel sick. How could he have possibly considered torturing the poor kid in front of him? Hitokiri or not- Choshu or not- Enemy or not— Hijikata realized that he could never bring himself to do it… and the realization made him hate himself. Suddenly he couldn't stand the sight of the red-haired boy. Reaching for the stack of towels beside the tub, he threw one at the prisoner and kept one for himself. "Get up," he said gruffly, and then dragged the boy back out into the wash room. "Put your clothes on," he ordered.
Once they were both dressed, Hijikata pulled the prisoner out into the yard. Immediately the boy tried to twist out of Hijikata's grasp to run for it, but it was hopeless. Hijikata's grip was unshakable, and before long the little hitokiri found himself thrown back into his cell. After locking the door to the prison shed, Hijikata leaned heavily against the wall. He felt like the world was out of control- like he couldn't even see his own hands clearly. Everything he stood forthreatened to disintegrate into chaos. There was only one thing that made any sense—
"Souji," Hijikata muttered, finding him reading a book in his room.
Souji realized that something was wrong and dropped the book. Worriedly he looked up at the vice commander, who couldn't meet his gaze.
"What have you done to me, Souji?" Hijikata asked in a whisper.
Souji narrowed his eyes. "Are you all right, Hijikatasan?"
"No, damn it, I'm not."
"Well… it's good that you can admit that, anyway. Won't you tell me what's wrong?"
Hijikata was quiet for a moment. "I'm disgusted with myself," he said at last. Souji managed to stop himself from giggling.
"Why, all this time, I thought it was the rest of the world you were disgusted with."
"That too," Hijikata grumbled. "That child… that hitokiri…I know I should torture him for information… but I can't. I can't do it, Souji! I… I'm defeated. We're trying to hold this country together by its last few threads and… I started to think about torturing him, but…"
"Hijikatasan, stop it," Souji admonished. "You're trying to take the responsibility for everything, including the fate of that boy and the fate of this country, and somehow you're confusing your reluctance to destroy the one with your inability to guarantee the security of the other."
Hijikata blinked at him, dumbfounded.
Souji looked straight through his soul. "Right?" a moment passed in silence.
"Souji…How do you do that?" Hijikata asked, a little unnerved.
"Do what?" Souji smiled innocently, tipping his head to one side.
"How do you know what I'm thinking when I don't even know it myself?"
"Being vice commander must be very stressful," Souji said thoughtfully, not answering the question. "But there's no need for you to do everything by yourself. You can delegate some tasks to your loyal subordinates, you know. If you want information from our prisoner, I'll take care of it." With an unreadable smile, Souji got to his feet and brushed past Hijikata into the hall.
Hijikata watched him go, completely stunned. Halfway down the hall, Souji stopped and laughed. He looked over his shoulder at Hijikata, loving the completely-blown-away expression on the vice commander's face.
"Whatever would you do without me, Hijikatasan?" Souji called playfully. Hijikata slowly shook his head, and with another laugh, Souji headed off again towards the prison shed. Hijikata sighed and closed his eyes.
Whatever would I do without him? He repeated the question to himself. The answer was clear.
"…Suffer," he grumbled out loud, and then shuffled off towards his room.