A/n: (Clears throat) I am totally unoriginal! Seriously! Oh, well! The ZoNa chapter has been delayed – I need to read some more ZoNa fics first, and preferably some good ones.Also, some people might have misunderstood the last chapter. I don't actually hate the Nami is pregnant plot, in fact, I kind of like it! I'm just saying not to use it too much! And what the characters say is what I think they'd say if they read the fic.
Not in this chapter, though. These are purely my own opinions. Feel free to try and change my mind though. If you've written/read a great Lyffy's twin sister fic tell me about it and I'll read it. Maybe I'll apologise about this chapter later then.
Chapter TWO; Luffy's twin sister
"Good evening and welcome! Today's subject is still popular one piece plots!" Nami said, with a friendly smile. Today, it wasn't as fake as it'd been before, in the last chapter about her being pregnant.
"My name is Nami the navigator, and this is… Luffy the captain. Maybe you're wondering where Usopp is."
Nami took a short break so that the audience would have time to nod approvingly, shrug dully or start whispering with each other like two old ladies with only one hobby: gossip.
"Unfortunately, Usopp has caught the nose flu. Only people with long, bendable noses get this flu, and it's very uncommon. However, it is not life threatening, it only makes him disgustingly snotty."
"Really? I think it's cool! The snot hangs from his nose to his knees! If he shakes his head, it hits everyone near him!" Luffy exclaimed with a big grin. Nami just grunted something and looked disgusted.
Luffy, in lack of anything else to do, looked at the neatly piled papers in front of him. "The ZoNa chapter has been delayed due to lack of knowledge." He read, scratched his nose and continued. "Instead, this chapter has a new plot: Luffy's twin sister!" His eyes grew wide with chock, and he almost fell out of his chair. "I have a sister!" He exclaimed in horror. "How come I've never met her? Ace never told me anything about a sister!"
Nami rolled her eyes at Luffy before gesturing to the TV between them. "Shut up and watch, Luffy, you might learn something!"
On the screen, a small draft appeared, with a small and frail figure on it. She had dark hair and funny looking eyes; somehow, it reminded everyone of a certain captain.
The sun was shining. It was shining too much. The young girl shifted from her lying-down position on her stomach to her back. With a groan she banged her fist against the surface of the draft.
"I'm hungry!" she yelled to the ocean. But the ocean decided to be a bitch and didn't reply. The girl, deciding to do something more… productive, sat up and reached for a straw hat that looked almost exactly like Luffy's, only the band on it was ocean blue.
"Luffy…" She whispered into the wind.
On the Going Merry, Luffy sneezed.
"Bless you." Nami said dully, where she was sitting beside him, reading the news paper. "Hmm... it says here that some girl from famous pirate Straw Hat Monkey D Luffy's home town has disappeared." She looked up from the paper. "Hey, does your home town even have a name?" She asked
Luffy thought for a bit before he replied. "Yes, but I can't remember it."
Nami rolled her eyes. "You've forgotten the name of your home town?"
"That's what I said, right?"
"Um… yes." Nami was about to say something else, but she was interrupted by a loud yell.
"HEY!" Luffy somehow turned his head so fast it kind of twirled in the direction of the yelling. It was coming from Usopp. "Luffy, come take a look at this!"
Luffy jumped up and ran over to Usopp. "What?"
Usopp pointed at the small, wooden raft on which there was a girl.
"Fluffie!"
The scene froze.
Luffy blinked. "What? Who's Fluffie?"
Nami sighed. "Your sister!"
"But… I don't have a sister!"
"You do in this sketch."
The scene unfroze again, and showed the audience this girl- Fluffie -lying in Nami's room.
Beside her was Luffy, looking very nervous and anxious. OOC in other words. "Oh, doc," he said, with a Pierce Brosnan-like voice to Chopper, who was currently examining the poor girl. Never mind that Luffy has never-and never will call- Chopper doc. "Will she be alright?"
Chopper was shocked. More than shocked! He was outraged! Why was Luffy suddenly talking like that pathetic James Bond? "Yes." Chopper snapped, as he hates James Bond.
Luffy started tearing up, and suddenly one of those annoying flashbacks started to take place.
It was a beautiful summer morning in, let's say august, said Usopps voice from nowhere, as he is currently the narrator. The sun was shining over a peaceful village by the sea; the laughs of children filled the sky.
On the field, three kids were running around playfully, big grins covering their happy faces. Two of them were boys. Some would say that one of them, the taller, was the more handsome one, as the other, and shorter, looked rather rubberish. Both had black hair, and the taller boys face was littered with freckles. In response, the rubberish boys face was scared with an awful… scar… under his left eye.
With them was a girl, a bit shorter than the two boys. Her silky black hair was up in two pigtails and she, as well, had a scar, but under her right eye. Her face was, also, littered with freckles, but instead of looking awful and weird, this only made her look cuter than any other little girl you could possibly lay your eyes upon. Everybody knew that when this little girl blossomed into a 17 year old woman – she would be absolutely beautiful.
Not that anybody really cared that much about her looks, because usually, when you're five, you're always cute.
The three children ran around in a circle, holding each others hands as they sang a song.
"Lululu, we're spinnin', spinnin'!
Lululu, we're spinnin', spinnin'!
Soon, mum will call us for a good trimmin',
Of tha' hair of ours!"
Nobody really knew who thought of this incredibly bad song, but everybody just assumed it was Luffy, as he's dumb.
Luffy, who was the shortest boy of the three kids, Ace, who was the tallest, and the last one, the girl, Fluffie all let go of their hands, and fell on their backs against the green, green grass.
By now, the author was so bored with writing meaningless descriptions of everything that was pointless because everybody will skip them anyway – OW! Nami, why'd you hit me!
Do it right! Nami scolded fiercely.
Alright, alright, back to the story!
Where was I… oh, yeah, the laughing children lay on the green, green grass, a big grin playing in their child-like faces.
Suddenly, a growling, like the growling a stomach does when it's hungry, growled. Luffy laughed awkwardly. "Har de har har har! I'm hungry!" He said, already using the trade mark pirate laugh that he's never used before
"Then eat!" Said his sister, Fluffie, who was the smartest of the three. Her voice was like an angelic bell sounding thing. Um, yeah, her voice was nice.
"Is grass edible?" Luffu asked and stuffed his mouth full with grass.
"Too bad mom and dad aren't here to make us dinner! Oh, how I miss them! Nothing had been the same sense they died!"
"Our parents are dead?" Ace said as he looked at his sister, somehow not knowing of this fact.
In horror of what she'd just revealed for her two frail and oddly stupid brothers, Fluffie clasped her five years young hands over her mouth. "Oh no! I've revealed the secret that I, a 5 year old girl, was supposed to keep because I witnessed the murder of our parents! And I can identify the murderer! Never mind that he saw me too and is now out to kill me!" She exclaimed.
Just then, before any of the boys had the time to react, 15 ninja masters jumped out from… the grass… in which they'd been hiding using their awesome ninja skills with a z, listening to their entire conversation!
They attacked the three kids, but Fluffie was quick to take action. She, single handily, killed off 14 of the awesome ninjas with her awesome fighting powers which she possessed at the age of five. At the last one, she lost all of her powers because the last ninja had a piece of kryptonite in his pocket. Fluffie turned numb everywhere, and the ninja took her away, after stuffing her in a green plastic bag.
All of this happened in less then three seconds.
"Wow…" the two boys said in union.
"And that's what happened!" Said Luffy, Fluffie sitting beside him, hugging him tightly. The flashback had somehow turned into a story in the middle somewhere, yet Usopp had been telling everybody about it. Weird.
He turned to Fluffie and looked her deeply in the eyes. "You have no idea how much I've missed you, sis!" He said and hugged her, eyes tearing up again.
"I've missed you too, Luffy!" She exclaimed back, holding an expression only a girl who has experienced lots and lots of angst can hold. She hugged him back as warm, salty tears wet her back, because Luffy was crying.
Then Zoro and Sanji suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Zoro coughed slightly, to get the attention of the crew. When he got it, he spoke.
"Me and Sanji has been talking." He started. "And Usopp and Chopper too. We have decided that we all at to marry your sister! And Nami and Vivi is a couple now." He said.
Luffy grinned. "Okay!"
And so, the straw hats, with a 4 to 1 marriage, a lesbian couple and a lonely captain sailed away a week later – into the sunset.
(PS. Do not fear, reader-sama! Luffy found a nice Sue – I mean girl- called Suzanne! They got 3 ½ children!)
The scene froze, with the white text plastered on the screen. Both hosts were speechless until…
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR SKETCH? ME AND VIVI? THAT DOES IT, I'M GOING HOME!" And Nami walked out of the set – and into the sunset.
Luffy blinked. Then he blinked again. And again. "I didn't know I have a sister…" He said quietly, eyes filled with shock. Then he looked back down at the pile of papers.
"This is a stupid plot." He said shortly. "Luffy/I already have a brother. Can't you just write a decent AcexSmoker fic if you so despertatly need to write about Luffy's family, instead of this utter crap?" He frowned at the harsh words, but shrugged never the less. It's now like the papers were lying.
"Join us next time and read about the ever clichéd musician plot. And once again, we're sorry about the ZoNa fic, but it might not happen. Please feel free to tell the author about some decent OP fics ZoNa or not!"
a/n: Please review! Oh, and I'm taking a break! See details in my profile! And pardon any grammar errors – I'm very tired when I'm writing this! If I find anything major later I'll edit it!