Chapter Twenty-three is here!

Charlie's jaw worked as she watched Remus move through her kitchen with an air of familiarity that few others could claim. His fingers danced before her tea cupboard before decisively seizing a blend she kept just for him. Steady hands worked to make tea from loose leaves and a whistling kettle, while Charlie attempted to relax her jaw enough to open her mouth.

For days, she had contemplated asking Remus what his thoughts were about Moody.

She knew that Remus had never held much respect for the auror.

Perhaps that wasn't the best terminology for it.

Remus saw beyond the image projected of Moody.

Alastor was not a Dumbledore supporter. Despite joining the Order of the Phoenix - which Dumbledore had founded - the auror was not particularly fond of Dumbledore.

Charlie was just two weeks into her training with the Hit Department within Magical Law Enforcement, and she could see evidence of it everywhere.

Within her group of recruits – which was albeit small – over half of them had worked for the Dark Lord. Whereas others in the Order of the Phoenix would frown upon hiring those who had explicitly provided information to Death Eaters that had resulted in the torture, death, or disappearance of Order members, this apparently did not phase Moody. After all, he was head of the Department.

At times, she wondered if he knew that the mousy-faced witch who had been paired with Emmeline Vance had been paid by Rabastan to stalk the Longbottoms.

Pressing her tongue against the roof of her suddenly dry mouth, Charlie watched Remus slip a long pour of milk into his cup.

"Do you think Dumbledore trusts Moody?"

She watched the werewolf raise a brow as he dropped a sugar cube into the steaming liquid.

"Trusts him? In what capacity?"

Charlotte's lips pursed, "If Dumbledore made a promise, could Moody make him break it?"

Remus took a swallow of his tea, made a face, and reached for the sugar again. His face filtered through several expressions before they turned back to her, his tea properly sugared.

"It would depend on the promise."

A scowl fixed itself on her face.

"Are we going to keep prancing around an issue? Or have it out?"

Patiently, Remus leaned against the counter and Charlie noticed again that he looked thinner.

"There are a lot of people at the Ministry, people who worked for Death Eaters."

Remus kept his face affixed with attention, but she caught a small incline to his brow line.

"It seems to me as though he doesn't mind it."

"Does he know?"

Charlie snorted, "I don't see how he wouldn't, honestly."

As the werewolf took a swallow of his tea, Charlie lifted herself to sit in front of him on the counter, crossing and uncrossing her ankles anxiously.

"So, perhaps your question isn't whether Albus trusts Alastor, but how dedicated Alastor is to the Order?"

Charlie bit the inside of her cheek, "I guess that's one way to say it."

Remus frowned, and Charlie watched his face filter through expressions.

She had come accustomed to each emotion crossing the wizard's face. After spending hours together each week in preparation for her examinations and assisting her with developing her still – at times – unreliable wand work, she doubted anyone spent as much time with her as Remus. Knowing that he flitted from job to job to maintain an air of caution with his condition, Charlie doubted that anyone spent more time with him than she did.

It had been Remus, after all, who had warned her about taking this position, she recalled.

"Truthfully," he blew out a held breath, "I suspect he sees some benefit to it."

Charlie raised a brow.

"Hear me out. We know that Albus believes that Voldemort will return," he cast a look at her when she flinched, "I believe it as well, as much as I'd like not to. I can see Alastor hiring known affiliates to Death Eaters as some kind of benefit."

"A benefit?"

Remus frowned, "No one would be better equipped to seek them out later, should the need arise."

"Is that why I work there?"

"I think the better question here is why you think he has you there."

Two weeks had passed, and Charlie had attempted to discern any malicious context to the head auror's assignments. However, he appeared to treat her like any other recruit. She was still given grueling amounts of reading to attend to. Every week they were given practical assignments to hunt an auror in London successfully. She had failed her first attempt and been somewhat successful in her second.

Every other recruit was given extensive lessons in both Legilimency and Occlumency. No additional attention was directed her way in lessons. If anything, Cian Dearborn – their instructor – seemed to grow increasingly irritated by her weak attempts at discerning what the mousy witch had eaten for breakfast.

"I don't have any proof," she answered finally, her voice quiet.

"You don't need any with me. Tell me what your instincts say."

Remus did not require the explanations Severus had always demanded. He did not require proof in the way her husband had.

He was afforded opportunities in this life that we were not given. He was never forced to cast away his morals for the sake of his own survival. He was never asked to do as we were.

Snape's voice rang in her ears as she swallowed thickly.

"I think that he hopes I get better so that I'm useful."

Remus did not allow her to skirt around the issue, "In what way?"

"In ways that others cannot be useful to him."

"Possession, then."

She wondered how much restraint he had used to prevent his tone from souring the word.

"I think you are safe in that assumption. It's why I cautioned you about taking this job to begin with."

"He doesn't treat me any different, though," she argued weakly.

"But there isn't any need for it now, is there?"

Charlie frowned.

"The Ministry allowed aurors special liberties during the war, Charlie. They were permitted to do things for the situation at hand that otherwise would not have been permitted. Unforgiveables, for instance, are widely frowned upon. However, in the war they were used by both sides."

It was true, she recalled.

During her school years, everything she had learned about Unforgiveables had cemented their illegality across the wizarding world. Special circumstances had allotted for them throughout history. In Grindelwald's war, they had become relatively common.

However, she did not recall a single auror giving a debriefing where he or she mentioned using an Unforgiveable. It seemed a bit strange to her, she could admit, when they had been used without much thought among the ranks of Death Eaters.

"It would make sense that he's recruited you now, Charlie," Remus began carefully, "Because there is an ability to grow a sense of loyalty towards the Ministry for you. Not to say that Alastor explicitly supports the Minister – or the Ministry for that matter – but he does believe in an ideology that there is such thing as a greater good."

The Greater Good.

It had been ideology of Grindelwald's, she recalled from Professor Binn and his droning lectures.

"Now, he has time to build your loyalty to his cause. He wants a just and equal wizarding world that is strictly protected from muggle view. It is one of his strongest opinions – his support of the Statute of Secrecy. Grindelwald threatened that, and so did Voldemort. If Albus threatens it, Alastor wouldn't hesitate to change sides to a cause that supported his own beliefs."

"So, he doesn't care about loyalty to Dumbledore."

Remus snorted, "No. He wants his own loyalty. It was the same for James and Sirius in that department. Alastor wants his interests protected."

"Then how am I a benefit at all? If he isn't going to use me to hunt down criminals now, and is just letting me hang out in his pocket for a rainy day, then why bother with this effort?"

His arms crossed, "Did you ever spend a day as a Death Eater, not being a Death Eater?"

"No," she snorted.

"You have to learn how to work within his ranks. He has put just enough investment in you. You're a hit witch. It's a position that no one is lining up for. It is incredibly dangerous, and there isn't the demand that there was for it two or three years ago. All the extremely dangerous criminals we knew of in the war are accounted for, for the most part."

Remus took a swallow of his now tepid tea, "He's grooming you for the possibility that when Voldemort returns, that you'll be trained enough to be useful. You can't do any possessions now. We've been shown that. Years will pass before you'll do another successful one, I think."

Charlie bit her cheek once more.

She knew that Remus loosely knew the circumstances of her and Snape separating. However, she had remained tight lipped. Severus had been the one to tell them, she supposed, or perhaps Dumbledore. Most of the Order knew now, she recalled, as they were integrated into the Ministry in one way or another and would have heard that she had applied to return to her maiden name. Gossip needed no owls or paper planes to travel within the Ministry of Magic, she had found.

"You've been assigned to Cian Dearborn, haven't you?"

"Unfortunately," her voice was a mumble.

The auror had voiced his distaste for his assignment to her from the beginning. He was a few years older than her – and Remus, for that matter – but was relatively respected within the department. In addition to being their lead instructor in Occlumency and Legilimency, he was also largely responsible for their practical examinations.

All five within her training class had been assigned an auror to report to during their training. It would be a long assignment, but Moody told them he didn't plan on needing to replace any of them. Only two hit wizards stayed on after the war. Charlie wasn't sure if it was due to boredom or untimely retirements, but she saw them oftentimes napping in their break room without much interest in the work of aurors buzzing about on the department floor.

Charlie had assumed Moody had assigned Dearborn to her because he was especially talented in mental magic – Occlumency and Legilimency. Without Severus, she was without a tutor. She suspected Mad-Eye had specifically chosen the auror to target her larger need in the subjects.

"Cian Dearborn's brother was Caradoc Dearborn. I'm sure you've heard of him."

She had.

Caradoc Dearborn had been a renowned auror. Sirius had studied under him in the auror department and had raved about him before graduation. He was in line to succeed Moody, should he ever retire, and had been wildly respected.

The Dark Lord had known this, as well.

Charlie didn't know who had killed him. It had been suddenly announced, as they chortled about some muggle-born wizard who had wandered into Knockturn Alley. Oftentimes, she had chosen to tune out of such conversations. She didn't want to know about how a boy, freshly graduated from Hogwarts, had been tortured to the brink of psychosis for simply making a wrong turn. Perhaps it had been Rabastan, she thought, who had killed Caradoc. At the time, he had been steadily rising through the ranks as one of the most accomplished duelists within their rank.

She knew they had never found his body.

"Cian is in the Order. Caradoc brought him in. At the time, he was just a new auror. Now, he's extensively practiced Legilimency with the hope he will be able to crack the mind of a Death Eater who knows where his brother's body is."

"I wouldn't be able to help with that," she said quickly, "I didn't know much about it."

Remus shrugged, "I think Alastor sees you – a reformed Death Eater, for lack of a better word – and sees Cian, who has been consumed for years in discovering what happened to Caradoc. Cian is probably just as talented as Severus in Legilimency. I don't think Alastor picked him as a tutor for you, specifically, Charlie."

The wizard turned away from her, refreshing his now cool cup of tea.

"I think it's more likely that he's assigned him to you to keep an eye on you."

"Like a spy?"

That didn't seem as likely to her. It had been Dumbledore, after all, who had approached her to join the Order. Dumbledore had claimed responsibility for having Mad-Eye find her a job. If he had doubted her intentions, Charlie didn't see why the effort had been made on her behalf.

"Does Snape know, about the job?"

Charlie made a face, "I imagine Dumbledore told him."

"I wouldn't count on that."

In the months that had followed, Severus hadn't made any effort to contact her.

On one hand, it had brought a sense of relief. For years, Charlie had counted on Severus to be her most trusted confidant. She doubted that anyone knew her as extensively as he did. Charlie's friendship with Louisa had slowly transformed from their years in the Slytherin girls' dormitory. They were no longer capable of freely talking between one another. Whether it was Charlie's contribution to Evan's death, or Louisa's ignorance in healing so early in her career, Charlie didn't know. There was a heaviness to their friendship now. One that had never weighed on her relationship with Snape.

But at times, she found herself laying in bed waiting for the soft tapping of his owl on her bedroom window. She wondered how he had spent the summer. Spinner's End was terribly lonely, she recalled. At times, she would catch herself reaching for a second plate at suppertime or boiling too much water for tea. Each time, she would painstakingly replace the plate, and watch the water swish about in the kettle. Each time, it would remind her of how absolutely alone she was.

"I saw him, a few days ago, in Diagon Alley. He's getting ready for the school year, I imagine."

Charlie felt her jaw tighten, "Oh?"

"They go back in a few days, right? He was in the apothecary. It sounded like he was placing the Hogwarts' stores order."

"He's probably working himself into exhaustion," she began sharply, but stopped herself.

What did she care, if the dark-haired wizard spent all night reviewing lesson plans? What concern of it was hers, should he be drinking cold tea and living off sandwiches as he readjusted his syllabuses to become more and more complicated?

It wasn't.

"It's been months, Charlie."

Nine, she recalled.

"It was years," she reminded him, "Years that he lied to me."

"Sometimes, Charlie, people do things they spend the rest of their lives regretting."

At times, Charlie didn't doubt that Severus had regretted his choices. He had spent too much time trying to piece together the remnants of her for her to doubt it. She had never been his responsibility, despite what Dumbledore had told him. They had both done things in the war they had been ashamed of.

In the last nine of months, the sting of his betrayal had festered to a deep ache. On the surface, it had healed. Charlie could forgive him for following Dumbledore's instruction to marry her and take responsibility for his actions.

"He regretted it, Remus," she replied finally, "But I don't know if I can forgive him for doing it in the first place."

On one hand, Charlie could count the relationships she had which had ultimately benefitted no one but had been forged organically. Louisa, Wilhemina, Remus, Sirius, and perhaps for a time, Severus.

Walburga Black had wanted the Fraser girl to marry one of her sons. She had never particularly cared which of them. For a time, she had supported Charlie and Sirius. But as Sirius grew more and more independent from her and the Black family values she had cherished, her support had withdrawn. Suddenly, it had been Regulus. Regulus, who had always been like Charlie's brother.

Regulus had married Charlie to get away from his mother, and perhaps to help Charlie get away from Walburga as well. But their marriage had been founded on a relationship that had always been more like siblings than anything romantic. They had maintained separate bedrooms. They had discussed children, though no real effort had been made to have them. Their arguments had always been centered around Sirius – that Charlie would leave him for Sirius, that she was plotting with Sirius.

"What are you thinking about?"

His words interrupted her thoughts, and Charlie quickly centered herself back to the counter where she sat, before the werewolf that smiled easily at her.

"Regulus," she answered softly.

"We don't talk about him often," Remus heaved himself onto the counter opposite of her, cradling his teacup within his large hands, "Why don't we?"

Charlie's lips pulled into a smile, "The Marauders hated Regulus."

Remus barked out a laugh, "Hardly. He was Padfoot's little brother. We were duty-bound to dislike him, but we never hated him. Well," the werewolf caught his tongue, "Perhaps for a time, we didn't."

"I didn't know what he had done. I remember the day he left, he said he had something important to do for the war. I didn't think much of it, to be honest. I was having the wives over for brunch. He gave me a hug before he left, and then he never came home."

Goodbye, Charlie-bell.

"He never said goodbye. It was kind of our thing, the whole time we grew up. The last thing my parents ever said to me was goodbye, when they dropped me off for school. Reggie and I never said 'goodbye'."

"Sirius had mentioned that."

"He said goodbye that day, and I didn't even notice. Bibsy was trying to get these napkins in some silly pattern I had seen in Witch Weekly, and I was worried they wouldn't come out right. Napkins."

She crossed her arms, "And for a few days, I didn't suspect anything was wrong. It was kind of normal for him to be gone for several days. We weren't really a normal married couple. We didn't sleep in the same bed, we had different schedules. Honestly, I don't think I even noticed how long it had been until Severus showed up."

"Snape?"

A dry laugh left her mouth, "I thought it had been so sweet, that he would come to check in on me. But he told me that Regulus had been caught, and I figured he had meant the Ministry. So, I went to go write Orion, and ask him for his help. But Severus said it had been the Dark Lord. That Reg had betrayed the Dark Lord."

Her breath left her lips in a soft stream, "I kind of resented him sometimes, Reg. He seemed to get it all without much effort. Everything he wanted. Girls, money, friends. He never had any problems, with any of it. It didn't make sense to me, what Snape had said. I just brushed him off."

They had come only days later.

"I know now that it was Lucius who pressured Regulus to marry me. That in turn, Regulus had demanded his mother withhold my inheritance unless I married him. I had always known that Regulus attempted to interfere in my relationship with Sirius. I just had never understood why he was suddenly so interested in us being together."

Charlie hugged her chest, "I know that when we were married, Severus and Lucius suggested Regulus bring me to Death Eater meetings, and that he refused. I like to think he refused because he cared about me. But eventually their suggestions turned into demands, and at some point, Regulus realized they wanted me to become a Death Eater."

"He wrote to Sirius around that time, I believe."

Charlie blinked, "What?"

"Yes, he wrote him a letter. Had it sent to the Ministry. He told Sirius that you were in danger, and Sirius asked the Order to arrange patrols for your neighborhood. But Moody wouldn't agree to it, and Albus didn't see how you would be in danger. Sirius asked James and I to help him. We would sit at that park all night, watching your house."

Remus cleared a noise from his throat, "We were there the night they came."

The night they had descended on her house, Charlie had been sitting at the fireplace, wondering why Orion and Walburga hadn't answered any of her owls. She had wondered if she should just go to the house, but worried that if she left, she would miss Regulus coming home.

Then, suddenly, fire had come through the windows.

"Sirius tried to go to you. There was a lot of screaming."

Bibsy.

She could recall the haunting, shrill screams of her house-elf, trapped somewhere in the house as it was engulfed in the fiendfyre inferno. Charlie had crawled on the floor, shrieking for her as she clawed her way through high-pile carpets to the door, her eyes streaming from the smoke, her skin blistering from the heat.

It had taken weeks for the burns to her hands and knees to heal.

"James wouldn't let go of him. There were so many of them, Charlie. They blocked the whole street. I don't think I had ever seen so many Death Eaters in one place."

Charlie's eyes closed. She could see them still, blacking out the street as she crawled from the front door, choking on the cold air outside as her bloodied hands slipped on brick stairs. Their silver masks had stared down at her with empty, black eyes.

"Sirius bloodied James' nose and started running down the street, and I hexed him. We took him back to headquarters," Remus watched her carefully, "We would never have been able to do anything. James told Alastor and Albus, but they suggested there was nothing that could be done. You were probably already dead."

She remembered trembling in the cold, her clothing burnt to scraps as she was dragged down the sidewalk by two masked figures on her knees. Her throat had been too burnt to scream, but her eyes had streamed freely from the smoke. Somewhere in the night, Bibsy's screams still echoed through the night as she howled for her mistress.

Her eyes burned, "There was really nothing anyone could've done anyways, Remus."

Remus cleared his throat once more and took a large gulp of his tea, "Sirius thought you were dead. We had to stay with him for a while. James, Peter, and I all swapped nights with him."

During those weeks, Charlie imagined she was with Narcissa. It had been the Malfoys who had stepped forward to take her in. She had been so grateful to them. Now, she knew that Lucius had done so only so that they were tied to her success later. He had known from the beginning what they had planned for her. Narcissa had treated her kindly. They had been friends, of sorts, at Hogwarts. The platinum-haired witch had bandaged her hands and knees daily, had soothed her silenced sobs in the bathroom as she grieved the loss of Regulus.

"It was Emmeline Vance – you know her, she's still with the department – who saw you in London with Narcissa and Louisa three months later."

The pair watched each other from across the kitchen.

"How am I supposed to forgive him for that, Remus?"

Remus did not answer her.

She wondered how much of it had indirectly affected him, too. How many nights had he stayed with Sirius as his friend grieved for her? How much had her involvement with the Dark Lord caused him sleepless nights as the Order worked relentlessly against the Death Eaters?

Finally, he spoke.

"I'm not going to tell you to forgive him, Charlie. As someone who cares about you, I struggle with what he's done myself. But I know this - when Moody shows his true intentions, you will want Severus in your corner."

I think this is my longest chapter to date. This one was incredibly difficult to write, and there is a lot of information thrown in here. I'm sorry for the long wait between updates, but life happens. Between the loss of my beloved keyboard (Rest in Peace) and then the ensuing writer's block, it felt like this would NEVER get posted.

Anywho. I'd like to thank all of my wonderful reviewers. I don't really know how this happened. I'm not certain I will ever catch up with the House Cup because y'all are just blowing up my email with review notifications and I'm not sure I've ever felt such unadulterated excitement and joy. Thank you for each and every one of them. Whoever recommended my story on Reddit, I'd like to do a shout-out to you as well. Thank you for your continued support!

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