Disclaimer: I don't own any characters other than Emily, Jennifer, Michael (Step dad)
Rated: M
No one noticed the signs, even when they we're right in front of them. No one ever cared enough about me to notice what I was going through. Night after night he raped me and no one noticed. No one noticed my screams and cries for help. No one noticed the fact that I would start crying over nothing or so they thought. They all thought I was crazy and that I was insane. I wasn't I just needed help that no one seemed to be able to give me. I'm sorry to have caused so much trouble in everyone's life. No one wanted their kids around me because they thought I was the one giving them the drugs and the drinks, but to tell you the truth I was the one taking them. I was the one taking all the drugs I could and drinking as much as I could just to make the pain stop, but it never did. It just kept coming and coming like there was a river of it constantly flowing. I even tried the cutting theory, the deeper the cut the more it takes the pain away. Well that only worked for a shot while. Why can't I make the pain stop? Is that to much to ask, to make it go away. I want to feel loved; I want to be happy just like everyone else in this world. Even just for a little bit, that's all I have ever asked for but guess what Santa never brought it to me for Christmas. He says he loves me more than anything in the world. Do you believe that? My father, my rapist says he loves me. If he loved me so much than how come he can cause me so much pain with out thinking twice about it? You would think that he would notice that he was hurting me by the way I screamed and by the way I begged him to stop, but no he would just hit me and tell me to shut the fuck up before he kills me. If that's love than I would hate to see what hate was. You want to know what else is fucked up? He's not even my real father, Nope before my mom died she told me that she meet this guy at a bar one night, they both was pretty wasted. He was married, but he was having troubles with his marriage at that time. Like that's an excuse but anyways my real father lives in New York. He's a detective for the Special Victims Unit. He spends his life arresting guys like my step dad or what ever you want to call him. I wonder if his wife knows he cheated on her. Well I guess it really don't matter now does it, because he don't have a clue that I was ever born. My mom woke up the next morning and he was gone. I guess he couldn't stick around to tell her that he's going home to his wife and kids and that he never wants to see or hear from her again. So I was left to my step dad because she never told him about me. I don't even know what he looks like or anything about him beside of where he works and his name, Elliot Stabler. I wonder if he remembers my mom. Hell it's been sixteen well seventeen years counting the time my mom was pregnant with me. She told me she sent him a letter telling him she was pregnant, either one he didn't believe her, two he didn't get the letter or three he didn't care. I don't know which one but I'm pretty sure it's the third one. Hell who would care about a bastard child? I also have a child, she's so beautiful. And even though she was a child of rape I still love her as much as I would on that I had with the person I loved. She turned three today, her name is Emily Elizabeth Martin. I have to get her out of here before he does to her what he did to me. I've thought about running away sooner but I had no where to go plus no way to get anywhere and hell I cant go walking with a child in my arms and have no where for her to sleep at night. Now I have to get her out of this house. He started when I was three and now he's going to do the same to her. I can't let that happen I can't let her go threw the same pain as I did I will die before that happens. I would've done it sooner but I had to have a car and enough money to do us till I can find a job and some one who will baby sit for cheap. I've saved up five hundred dollars and bought a car. So that should do us it shouldn't take me that long to get a job. I'm going to New York. That's the only place I can go.
I started packing right when he fail asleep all the sip cup, pull ups, shoes and cloths she had. I also packed some of her favorite toys. I only packed 5 outfits for me that's all I need she's more important she needs more than I do. Once he fail asleep I snuck out my bedroom window with the trash bag and her diaper bad and the keys to my car I left the window open so I could get back in. I put the trash bag. In the trunk and the diaper bag in the front when I started the car so it would have time to warm up. I walked back to the house and climbed back in. I went straight for her crib I couldn't take the chances of him waking up. I picked her up and wrapped a blanket around her. Then I carefully jumped out the window and ran to my car. I bulked her into her car seat and shut the door. I ran to the front, got in and started to drive. The farther I got from the house the safer I felt.. I glanced down at my watch it was already 5:45 pm. I pulled off on the nearest exit that had fast food places and a gas station. I parked the car and turned the ignition off. I slipped the keys into Emily's diaper bag and got out. I walked over and opened the back car door. "Emily baby" I shook her a little and she opened her beautiful blue eyes. She rubbed her eyes and looked around. "Mommy where are we?" She looked at me in confusion. "We're safe baby girl, Are you hungry?" Her eyes widened in excitement "Yea" I unbuckled her car seat and tickled her tummy. She giggled and pushed my hands away. I picked her up out of her car seat and put her on my hip then picked up the diaper bag off the ground. I shut the door and walked in to McDonald's. I went straight for the bathroom so I could change her pull up and so I could change her cloths. I pulled the changing table down and laid a mat down on it. Then I laid her down. I took her sleeper off and changed her pull up. I grabbed a pair of her blue jeans and a white tank top that had pooh bare and a butterfly on it. It was her favorite shirt and she hardly got to ware it because I was scared that sick pervert would look at her. Then I put her socks and shoes on. I brushed her hair and put it up in a pony tail. "There you go" "Am I pretty mommy?" She said as she was patting her hair. "No your beautiful baby girl." She smiled at me. I loved her smile. No matter how sad I was one smile from her could cheer me up in a second. "I love you so much' "I love you too mommy" I picked her up and put her on the floor. Then got the mat and put it back in her diaper bag and threw the diaper away. I put the diaper bag on my shoulder and grabbed her hand. "You ready?" she raised her hand to her chin and tapped it with her finger like she was thinking. "Yea I guess so." After we ate and I got gas we we're back on the road. I still had at least an hour to go before I got to Manhattan and I wasn't even sure if that was the one he worked at. Alls I kept thinking about was all the possible out comes of me telling him. My mom said he was sweet and kind but all men are when they want a one night stand. I had no clue how I was going to tell him of if I was going to be able to tell him. Is he going to think I'm a whore? I know I would if I saw someone with a three year old that was my age. Would he believe me if I told him I was raped by my step dad? Yeah I know he locks up rapist everyday but what if he thinks I'm lying.
I pulled up in front of the police station the SVU was in. "Mommy where are we?" "New York sweetie" "Why are we here?" "So I can protect you from the bad man" I got out then got her out. I wasn't even sure if I was going to be able to do this. How was I suppose to tell some stranger that he's my father and a grand father? I took a deep breathe and walked in. I walked up to the first person I saw. "Umm… Can you tell me if Elliot Stabler works at the Special Victims Unit Here?" "Yeah" "How exactly do I get to that unit?" "No need here he comes now" The man pointed at a guy coming off the elevator he had a women beside him. Was that is wife? Oh my god how am I suppose to do this with his wife around yeah that would be a great conversation I would ruin his life and his marriage. Before I could back out I heard the cop I asked holler for him. "Elliot" "Yeah?" "This girl is looking for you." I saw him wave to the girl and walk towards me. I put Emily down but still kept a hold of her hand. I started feeling light headed and dizzy. I didn't want to risk dropping her. "May I help you?" I guess he could tell that I wasn't feeling my best because he led me to a bench. He sat down beside me as I was picking Emily up to put her on my lap. I kissed her head and looked over at him. I had his eyes and him smile just like Emily had mine. He looked at me like he was confused. I cant say I blame him. "Are you alright?" I nodded my head. "I'm Jennifer Martin this is my daughter Emily. I was told that…..never mind I can't do this." I started to get up to leave but he grabbed my hand so I sat back down. "You're my daughter! but I thought you were dead!"