Disclaimer: I only own Emily, Jennifer, and Michael

A/N: This is my first fanfic and the first time I've ever tried to write a story of any type unless you count first threw fifth grade. So it may not be well written or anything like that. If you have any suggestions on how I could make it better I would love to hear them.

Dead well at least he knows who I am although I'm dead. Yeah this is the perfect conversation to be having. Why couldn't he have said he didn't want anything to do with me that would be a lot easier to take than being dead.

"Dead?"

"Yeah they told me that you died when your mother died!"

Who in the hell told him mom died? I don't have his last name; his name isn't even on my birth certificate. My step dad was her emergency contact so how did he know that she died. And who told him that I died to.

"Who told you that?"

"The lawyers they said that you were suppose to go to me when she died but you died to they said no body was found but that was you would've burned to death."

"Well they lied"

Wait my step dad made me move the night she died and I never had to go to school. I had a at home birth. Could he have told the cops I was with her then skipped town so no one would notice?

Did he kill my mom so he could have me? And why would my mom leave me to someone she had a one night stand with while she was drunk. I know she loved me more than that.

"Why would they lie to me, They gave me a death certificate and everything."

"I don't know but I have an ID saying that I'm not. That proves I am who I say I am"

"I know its you."

Wait how in the hell does he know what I look like? This is so fucked up. I can't be having this conversation.

"Ok for one why would my mom leave me to a guy she had a one night stand with? For two how in the hell do you know what I look like?"

"It wasn't a one night stand, and she sent me pictures of you every six months since you were born and sent me letters every month telling me how you were. Yeah you're a little older but you still look pretty much the same."

What? Why would my mom lie to me? It wouldn't have made a difference if she told me the truth. What is going on here?

"Mommy what's dead?"

"Nothing sweetie, I have to go"

I put Emily on my chest and stood up.

"Wait, Can you come to my house so we can talk?"

"About what me being dead? About my mom lying to me?"

"Please?"

I looked down, I need answers and a lot of them and he was the only person that could answer them. I nodded my head yes, I couldn't speak I could barely move. He stood up.

"How'd you get here?" I just shrugged my shoulders,

"We drove." Emily answered for me. I smiled at her and kissed her forehead. He looked at me confused, then looked at Emily.

"Who drove you?"

"Mommy did silly!"

"You're not old enough to drive by yourself!"

"I ran away." Is all I could say and even then it was only a whispered.

"From who?" Tears started falling from my eyes what was I suppose to tell him that I ran away from my step dad because he was raping me and was going to start molesting Emily.

I sure that was something he'd love to hear. Emily saw that I was crying. Which made everything worse I hated letting her see me cry. She shouldn't have to see me sad or overwhelmed I was suppose to be protecting her and doing everything I can to make her happy and letting her see me cry was neither.

"What's wrong mommy?"

"Nothing baby. Mommy's fine." I hugged her and kissed her on the top of her head, then looked up at him. He looked worried and scared. I don't see how he's only known me for five minutes.

He tried to touch my shoulder but thinking about what happened made me react by jerking away from him. Yeah if that didn't set off warning signs in his brain he worked with rape victims

He knows how they react to thing and everything. Why do I have to be so damn stupid?

"Sorry."

"It's okay." I whispered again.

"Where are you staying?"

"Hotel"

"Why don't you stay at my house?"

"Don't you think your wife and kids would want to know why some strange girl is staying in their house?"

"Me and my wife are divorced the kids live with her during the week, plus my ex knows about you so does my three of my kids, the forth one was young when we thought you died. We didn't want to upset him. So please stay the night? If you decide you don't want to another night you can leave tomorrow if you want to stay your more than welcome to move in."

He must be crazy inviting someone he doesn't know with a three year old to move in with him.

"Ok."

I couldn't say anything else. It was way too much for me to handle. All the unanswered questions, all the horrible memories flooding back, and the fact that I'm dead didn't help the situation any.

"You ready?"

"Yeah but I'm driving my car. I'll follow you."

I wasn't about to be stuck somewhere with no way to leave if I needed to. He just nodded his head. We both walked out side the building. I opened the back door of my car as he started to walk towards the back of the building.

"Hey." I finally had my voice back. He turned around and looked at me.

"What are you driving?" He smiled, I guess he thought I lied and was going to take off.

"A truck."

"Color?"

"Black."

I turned and put Emily in her car seat. Then got in the front and started my car and waited for him to pull out. I fastened my seat belt as he was pulling up to turn. I followed him to his apartment.

So many thoughts were running threw my head it was unreal. I needed answers and waiting for them was about to kill me.

I'm guessing he's felling the same way considering he just talked to a dead person with a three year old at sixteen. He must think I'm a whore or something.

I got out of my car and got Emily out.. She must be so confused right now. I grabbed her diaper bag and walked up beside him as he walked to his front door. He led us into his living room. I noticed he was getting ready to say something. I wasn't ready to talk.

I didn't want Emily to hear the conversation either that would be way too dramatic for her.

"Can I use your bathroom? I need to give her a bath and everything."

"Sure."

We both stood up. I grabbed her diaper bag and followed him down the hall. He pointed to a closet inside the bathroom

"Towels and wash cloths are in there and if you want to take one to I have some sweats you can wear to sleep in." I smiled at him.

"Thanks"

He walked back down the hall and returned with a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt both saying NYPD on them. He laid them on the sink and smiled at me. I smiled back thanking him again.

I went in and shut the door. I put Emily down on the floor and dug threw her diaper bag pulling out a pull up, a sleeper, her baby shampoo and body wash and a pair of my underwear.

Being a female you learn to carry a pair with you at all time especially after having kids. I started the water and made sure it wasn't going to switch to scolding hot after a few seconds of being on half hot and half cold.

I took down her hair and took off her cloths. I turned off the water after it got half way full and grabbed a wash cloth and a towel out of the closet. I lifted her up and put her in the bath tub.

I usually took one with her but that was only because I wasn't going to let my step dad be anywhere near her alone.

"Mommy, who's that guy?" I thought about to say for a moment.

"He's your grandpa." She looked confused but still nodded.

I started splashing her playfully. She giggled and splashed back by time we got threw I was soaked and so was his bath room floor. I hope he doesn't get mad that we just flooded his bathroom. I washed her hair and her body.

I drained the water. After it was finished draining I grabbed to towel and wrapped it around her. I picked her up and put her on the toilet and dried her off.

"Do you need to go potty before we put your pull up on?" She smiled and shook her head no. I put her pull up on her and got her dressed. I used the towel to dry the bath room floor off.

I grabbed the hair brush out of the diaper bag and brushed her hair. I tickled her stomach

"I got a very important question for you do you want to sit in here with me till I get done or do you want to go out there with your grandpa?" She stood there for a moment.

"I want to go out there with him."

"Are you sure?" She smiled and nodded.

"Ok."

I don't think he would hurt her, being a SVU detective and having kids of his own. I opened the door, and sat her out in the hall not getting her close to me so she wouldn't get wet.

I walked out grabbing her hand. He was sitting on the couch when I came out He looked at me and laughed at my soaked cloths.

"Someone wants to join you while I take a shower. Do you mind?" He smiled.

"No not at all, but it looks like you already had one."

I smiled looking down at how soaked I was.

"Yeah your bathroom did to I promise I'll clean up"

"Its fine, your brother and sister do the same thing when they visit me on the weekends and their old enough to know better." Emily walked over to him and climbed up on his lap.

"Are you my grandpa?"

He looked at me. I guess wondering if it was ok to say yes. I nodded my head, he looked back down at her and smiled

"Yeah" I smiled at them both;

Then turned to go take a shower. I put my soaked cloths in his cloths hamper hoping he didn't mind but I didn't know what else to do with them. I got out of the shower and put on the cloths he let me ware. They practically swallowed me whole.

The shirt came down to my knees and the pants were way to long on top of that I had to tighten them so much that the strings were longer than the shirt. I laughed at the way I looked, then walked back out into the living room.

I looked at the TV and rolled my eyes at the fact it was brother bare and I already watched it twenty million times already. I smiled when I saw them.

He was lying down on the couch and she was asleep on his chest he was too into the movie to notice I was standing there. I walked back into the bath room and grabbed the diaper bag and put it on my shoulder pulling out my camera in the process

I walked back into the living room and took a picture of them. He looked up at me and smiled. I slipped the camera back into the diaper bag and laid the diaper bag next to the door way.

"Is she drooling on you yet?" He shook his head no

"You two can sleep in my bed I'll sleep out here on the couch."

"We can sleep on the couch? You don't have to give up your bed!"

"I'm not going to let you two sleep on the couch."

I just smiled. I walked up to him and picked up Emily off his chest. He led me into his bedroom and turned on the lamp beside his bed so he wouldn't wake her up. He pulled the covers down so I could lay her in bed. I laid her down.

"Do you mind if we talk?" I shook my head no,

I wasn't to sure if I was ready but we both needed answers before we went to bed. I covered her up and put one pillow on each side. I kissed her on her forehead and we both left the room.

"Ill be right back I have to get something out of my car."

"Okay."

I grabbed the keys out of the side of the side of the diaper bag and walked out to my car. I opened the trunk and opened the bag I got out two photo albums and a box that had all the pictures we had got professionally done that I hadn't given away to my friends.

I walked back inside and handed him one of the photo albums.

"You can have that one, it has all the doubles in it of her growing up and I'm in quite a few of them, there's also a few of me and my friends but they have Emily in them to so."

He looked like he was about to cry.

"Her age and mine are written on the back of them."

We sat down on the couch and I went through the ones in the box and gave him a 5 by 6 and a wallet of all of every pose we ever had taken. Some had me and her others was her by her self.

All together he got about three hundred pictures counting the ones in the photo album.

"How old is she?"

"Three."

"When was she born?"

"March 27, 2003 her full name is Emily Elizabeth Martin"

"She's so beautiful." He looked at me and smiled.

"She looks just like you when you were little."

I wiped the tears from my eyes that already started to fall.

"I love her more than anything else in the world! Even though…."

"What?"

"Never mind"

"Why did you cut your self?" He pointed the scars on my arms.

I saw him starting to cry so I turned away ignoring the question. I looked down at my arms. I forgot I even had them. How stupid can I get?

"Jennifer?"

"Please don't call me Jennifer call me Jen, Jenny, anything you want just not Jennifer."

I wiped the tears from my eyes, still trying to avoid looking at him or letting him look me in my eyes. My step dad use to call me Jennifer while he raped me telling me to look at him. That sick son of a bitch.

"I'm sorry."

He had pain in his voice which made it worse on me. I felt so bad for hurting him the first day meeting him.

"It's okay." "Jen?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

I started to sob I brought my knees to my chest and buried my face in my hands. He slid closer to me and put his arms around me. I wrapped my arms around him. I felt so safe in his arms. I felt like nothing could touch me, and for the first time in my life I wasn't scared.