Okay, thanks to a couple of requests for another chapter, I have finally decided to write once more! Yay, thank you for the motivation! I thought I'd never write fanfics for a loooong time! (Thanks to Hyper Kid!) I will be graduating soon from high school, and though it will be months until college, I still hope to continue the crazy and insane adventures of Sanada Yukimura and his groupies!

Saizo: Eh?

Sasuke: Yeah, hn, whatever.

I have a busy high school life to worry about, and it took me about two weeks to dream up this chapter, so enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own SDK, except for characters I made up myself! That includes Mrs. Gladys too! (Ugly hag…)

It was eight o'clock. Sasuke kicked the chair in anger. His bandaged finger had stopped throbbing, and was now on the road to recovery. However that was far from Sasuke's thoughts. He clenched the fingers of his good hand together and let the nails dig into his palms.

Today was the day. They day on which he would swear to kill… The day on which he would—

"Sasuke-chaan!"

"ARRGH! Stop calling me that, you weirdo!" Sasuke yelled irritably. He grabbed his backpack from the couch and dashed outside.

The screen door slammed shut, just as Yukimura came dancing into the room like a ballerina. Since he had decided to cosplay today, he was dressed Lolita-style. He wore a laced frilly headband with his dark hair neatly brushed into place; his bangs were combed out on his forehead. The black one piece dress had a lovely corset-like ribbon lace up in the front, and a large frilly bow tied in the back. The waistband, armbands, bows, and dress were decorated with black ribbons and white lace. The dress was full and 'poofy', like a dress you might see on a small girl, and ended mid-thigh. To top it off, he wore long black knee high socks complete with five-inch platform shoes. The cuteness was intoxicating! He looked like a French maid with more sugar than spice.

"Wait! Wait up, little boy, I'm coming!" Yukimura looked left and right. ("Ah! Doko? Doko ni?") Nobody was there. He then skittered to the door. "It's such a shame to go hungry when you could've been having chicken teriyaki for lunch!" He called after Sasuke. "Mmm! I'm getting hungry just holding it…" Yukimura sighed in mock sorrow. "I'd really hate to put extra meat on these ribs, especially since this lovely dress fits me so perfectly…!" He pouted and danced on the spot in frustration. "If I eat it, I can always make another one."

Sasuke was almost two blocks away when he skidded to a halt. He nearly fell on his face. He double-checked his backpack with disbelief. The only things he had were his kendama, a bottle of water, and two mangas. He'd forgotten his Gameboy and of all things, the bentou. Sasuke zipped the bag closed. "Dammit!" He shouted, but he kept on running.

Back at home, Yukimura was prying the lid off the bentou box with gusto. Saizo crept in from the living room and stood by the counter. He eyed Yukimura's getup suspiciously and appeared to formulate an escape route in his mind. Yukimura patted the seat next to him and smiled widely.

"Saizo-chan, let us engage in this wonderful, sumptuous meal that Sasuke-chan has given unto me upon his departure to the Green Lawns of Gladys!"

"Let's just eat, Yukimura-sama."

"Oh come on, Saizo. Don't be so grumpy that I fixed Sasuke his bentou, and not yours…! Oh, and don't forget, my name is Yuki, Yuu-kii!"

"Okay, Yuki-chan er, Yuki-sama." ('Yuki' is a girl name, while 'Yukki' is more like Yukimura-san's nickname.)

Sasuke peered up at the old white washed house at the top of the hill. The house was three stories high and looked like something out of a horror movie, complete with some broken shutters and loose boards. Sasuke looked closer and saw that there were about two cats sitting on each window ledge.

Just as I had suspected…! Sasuke scowled in disbelief. He was thankful that he convinced Yukimura to tell Saizo to stay behind, which Saizo was all too happy to do. He didn't think that Saizo would even survive a conversation with Mrs. Gladys anyway.

The house had at least a mile radius of furry green lawn. The entire property was surrounded by a tall iron fence with spikes at the top. Some of the bars were bent out of shape, as if a large beast had tried to crawl through them.

"Why me…?" The boy whined out loud.

"Because…YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE!" a high, witchy voice squealed directly behind him. Sasuke whirled around in surprise.

Mrs. Gladys burst into a flurry of cackles that nearly sent her reeling to the asphalt. She coughed the phlegm out of her throat and spit it on the sidewalk. She was holding an ancient black puff of fur under one arm and a large purse big enough to be a suitcase in the other. Two orbs the color of fire glared at Sasuke from the fur puff.

"What are you doing out of the house, you old hag?" Sasuke asked coldly. Mrs. Gladys then shut up and began combing her stringy gray hair with long bony fingers.

Sasuke leaned back as she came closer to put her face close to his. He smelled fifty years of heavy cigarette use on her breath. Sickened, he turned away, still keeping his sneering eyes on hers, which were partially hidden by the heavy fold of sagging skin. She lifted a finger and poked him in the chest with a long yellow nail. A gaping hole appeared in her face and revealed brown jagged teeth. Sasuke stood frozen to the ground.

"The lawn mower is in the garden shed." A gravelly voice said slowly. "Get going if you want to live!"

Sasuke walked over to the gate and tugged at the rusty latch.

Mrs. Gladys cackled while slowly stroking the mop of long black fur covering the cat's head. "Weakling!" she snorted loudly, and spat a hunk of yellow mucus onto the ground inches away from Sasuke's foot.

"Do that again and I'll send you to hell where you belong!" Sasuke fumed. The hag cackled and swayed back and forth like a brittle twig in the wind. The gate swung open with a piercing scream and Sasuke ran like a demon to the shed. He opened the doors and they swung forth on loose hinges. The darkness was permeated by stale air and the smell of dust and cobwebs.

"I don't see any damn lawn mower!" Sasuke cried.

"I'm not into those noisy machines that are a pain to get started up! It's in the corner to your left!" Mrs. Gladys snapped, and began teetering up the steps to her house. She let the hairy, black mop fall to the ground, where it leapt onto a withered bench near the front door and let out a crackly "meow". It then trotted to the lawn and sat in the green grass, staring intently at Sasuke.

Sasuke walked further into the shed, peered closely into the dark, and spotted an old-fashioned reel-type lawn mower that used revolving, spiral metal blades to snip the grass. Only the blades on this one were so dull, they wouldn't shave one of Mrs. Gladys's cats for all the blades in the world. He dragged it closer to the light.

"I'm supposed to mow the lawn with this?" Sasuke snarled. The old thing was about half the size of a motorized lawn mower, and looked so flimsy that it couldn't possibly mow a square foot of grass.

The lady poked her skull-like head out the nearest window. "Hard work will do you good so GET MOVING!" Mrs. Gladys poked her head inside and shut the window so that it rattled.

"Curse…you…" Sasuke growled, dragging the mower with him, and stepped onto the grass.

The grass was long, and created a spongy sensation under his foot. Sasuke took another step and tried to lift the other foot again, but something was stuck to his shoe.

"Huh?" Sasuke shook his foot, and then bent his foot sideways so he could see under it. A sour stench wafted into his nostrils as he leaned closer to see.

"HOLY CRAP!"

Saizo stepped out of the bedroom. "Yukimura-sama, I don't think this is appropriate for a man like me..."

The man was decked out in a dark blue sailor uniform, not unlike a Japanese schoolgirl. The skirt was obviously shortened to miniskirt length, and he wore loose socks and black penny loafers to match his uniform. His hair was tied into pigtails with multicolored bubble hair ties.

Yukimura laughed. "OHOHO! Don't worry, Sai-chan, you'll come to like it…now can you turn around so I can see if you've got your panties on right?"

"WHAAT!"

"I'm just kidding!" Yukimura burst into a fit of giggles, and abruptly stopped, his expression grave. "No, Saizo, I'm dead serious."

"Yukimura-sama, I…"

"It's Yuki, Yuki desu yo."

Saizo scowled for the first time, and folded his arms. "Whatever!" He pouted and looked away.

"Aww, there you go, just like that. Now I'm convinced." Yukimura thought for a second. "Now all we need is a name for you. How does Yumi sound?"

"No."

"Satsuki?"

"No."

"Miho will have to do, then."

Saizo sighed impatiently and scowled. "Yukimura-sama, remind me again why we are doing this?"

"Come on, it's not like you to forget our missions! We're going to spy on Sasuke-kun, and take pictures! That's our mission…!"

"Is it really necessary?"

"Definitely. Now go fetch Sasuke's bentou, it's on the kitchen counter. Don't forget the chopsticks!"

Sasuke finished scraping cat poop off his shoe and proceeded to mow the lawn. The grass was so long and thick that it took several tries before the old rusty blades could cut a patch of grass evenly. He noticed a couple of boys across the street playing catch with a Frisbee.

"Now why couldn't she have picked them to do the dirty work?" Sasuke asked out loud. He hadn't worked up a sweat yet, but the fresh cat poop smell was pretty strong. It was starting to get him queasy. He continued to mow. And mow. And mow. Shaking the grass cuttings off the blade, he noticed that the sun was starting to get hot.

Inside, Mrs. Gladys was in front of her old television set, stirring sugar into her tea; she then took a sip. She frowned a moment, tasting the tea, and then reached for the sugar bowl again. When she did, the fuzzy image on the screen flickered and shook. She scowled an old lady scowl, and got up to adjust the antennae. Keeping her eyes on the screen, she backed away from the television set and edged carefully to her chair,. When she felt the backs of her knees bump the chair's edge, she lowered herself down slowly…easy does it…Mrs. Gladys plopped herself down in her seat. There!

"MRRROOOOOOOOWWW!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" The old lady screeched, and jumped up as fast as her old butt could move. A small yellow tabby clung to the seat of her pants and hissed his fury.

Outside, Sasuke dashed to the window and shook with silent laughter as he watched Mrs. Gladys dance around with a cat stuck to her...well, ass. The old lady beat the poor kitty with a cushion, all the while shrieking with anger. The cat abruptly let go and zipped under the chair. Mrs. Gladys dusted her hands and seeing the television was clear, went to her chair again.

Bzzzzt! White, flurry snowies hissed onto the screen the moment she sat down. Sighing irritably, the old lady got up. Reaching over, she turned one of the large knobs on the television set.

Sasuke held his stomach to ease the pain of laughter. He took up the lawn mower again and headed to the middle of the lawn where he'd left off. Stopping to rest for a few seconds, he wondered what kind of stupid plan Yukimura and Saizo were making up for the day. He hoped it wasn't like last time, where they had decided to get a job selling ice cream using a colorful cart with a lacy umbrella attached to it. Yukimura was dressed in a large chunky cat costume, and Saizo was dressed like a bear. Sasuke growled out loud at the thought and went back to work.

KRRRRR!

"Huh?" The boy kept mowing, but soon the hunger pangs grew stronger.

I should've just returned to get the bentou! Oh well…

Saizo clung to the black leather briefcase that held Sasuke's bentou. Yukimura had wrapped it in a silky blue cloth, Japanese-style. "Be careful; don't jolt it around too much!" He warned. "We don't want to spoil Sasuke-kun's lunch! Remember to put a little bounce into your steps."

Saizo was utterly at the mercy of the world. He'd cringed and groaned and complained, but that hadn't been enough to ward Yukimura away. He'd waxed his legs, pulling out every strand of hair; he'd yanked Saizo's hair into two flowing pigtails, and killed it with enough aerosol spray to blow a hole in the ozone layer. Now the only thing that was saving him from feeling like a total loser was that he was not wearing girl's underwear. Saizo, however, knew that Yukki was probably joking about having to wear it, but he was still relieved when he didn't 'check'. The shy man dearly wished he'd stayed in Japan.

"Yukimura-sama, I can't possibly go on any further…I look terrible!" Saizo began; he reached up to try to tug his hair loose. Yukimura stopped and opened the lacy black purse he was carrying and took something out. Saizo couldn't see what it was at first, until Yukimura beckoned him to come closer. "Here, I think you should try some of this."

"Huh?" Saizo leaned in. Eyeliner! He jumped back abruptly.

"Some color will do you good…!" Yukimura beamed widely and grabbed Saizo's red necktie, the kind that matches with school uniforms.

"IYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Sasuke stopped to wipe his brow. He was just about done with the lawn. Er, the lawn in front of the house. Shit, this was taking too long! He stopped to drink some water.

"Sa-soo-kay!" a shrieky voice pierced the air. Sasuke turned around, and was blown away by a deadly blast of cold water from the garden hose.

"ARRGH!" He scrambled to his feet and glared hatefully at Mrs. Gladys, face dripping wet with cold water, white hair glistening. He shook his head like a dog and threw down the lawn mower. "I'm leaving, you old witch!" He yelled, and ran to the fence. Mrs. Gladys laughed and laughed, stopping every so often to cough and spit. Cough and spit.

Sasuke scrambled over the fence like it was nothing, and as soon as his feet hit the sidewalk, began running as fast as he could. "Mow your own damn lawn!" He yelled, looking over his shoulder.

"IYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Saizo freaked out and tore free from Yukimura's grip. He streaked away, losing his tie in the process, leaving Yukimura behind.

"Oi, oi! Saizo!" Yukimura yelled. "You might wanna open your eyes when you're running…!"

Sasuke rammed into a screaming flat-chested girl with pigtails and the two fell down in opposite directions. The scream was abruptly cut short as her head slammed into the sidewalk with a crack, and Sasuke's nose exploded with a spray of bright red blood. The briefcase with the bentou went flying.The twolay sprawled and lifeless on the sidewalk.

Yukimura stood frozen to the spot, unmoving, and then his face broke into a wide grin.

"Sasuke!" He cried happily and picked up a rock from the sidewalk. He scratched the outlines of their limp bodies on the sidewalk and stood back to survey his work.Sasuke, barely recovering,moved aboutgroggily.

"What in the hell is going on?" He tried to sit up, but Yukimura pushed him back down.

"Sasuke, my poor child, what happened!" he whimpered, stuffing Kleenex up both nostrils. "Don't move, okay?" Sasuke grunted angrily. "I'm fine, okay?" He stood up and wobbled, the blood was rapidly drying and turning brown. "I'm going home!" He staggered in the direction of home, while Yukimura carefully shook Saizo awake. Saizo's eyes shot open and he wheezed heavily. "Yuki…mura!" He gasped, and grabbed on tightly to Yukki's sleeve.

"What, what!" Yukki exclaimed, and bent closer. Saizo's eyes drooped, and he went limp and fell back to the sidewalk.

"Oh, no… I've got to get him back home! But how?" Yukimura looked left and right.

"Um, you can use this if you want…!" said a tiny voice behind him. Yukimura turned around and saw a little girl and a little boy standing there with a wagon at ready.

Yukimura beamed.