So sorry! I know I should have updated sooner! I have no excuse! (Well, except for the fact that I was in Ohio visiting my grandparents for a few days. They have HIGH-SPEED internet! EEP!)

Ahem. I HAVE FIFTY REVIEWS! As such, you all get samples of Sephy's cooking I forced him to make for you. You may have to have it examined first.

(Sephy): Bwaha.

Kathya: Thanks so much! I'm glad you like it.

Genismithos: Yes, he is! Especially when he's sitting on the table in the Aquios Castle conference room…

Shigure-chan: Yes, Sephiroth does squeal! Evilly, though. They just didn't put it in the game. Maybe it'll be in the movie.

Sqiggles: Um, if they do, then that explains why the supervillians with tights are not ninjas. Yes, you may poke Cloud.

(Cloud): HEY!

xCR1MS0N-T3ARSx: Um, I never thought about ending it. Hmm….let's not think about it. :P

Kao: Nuu! I don't deserve the cookies.

(Vincent): No, she really doesn't.

Ookami Aya: Actually, I was pretty clueless. :P Thanks for letting me know.

D-chi: Reno has an—interesting job. You'll find out in the next chappy.

Sesshy is sexii: D'oh! Ugh, I can't believe I did that! Yes—jobs. Horrible things.

whatevergirl: Red is a barber. No, seriously. He ain't touching my hair.

Zeraphic Triomis: The perfect match! (gives you Zack)

(Zack): HEY!

DarkMistressofHate: Maybe so, but it has to be influenced before it goes random. Otherwise, I'll sleep all day.

ONWARD, FICCY!

"You—want to start a dating service?"

Sephiroth nodded. "Yup! It worked for that e-harmony guy. Although the site didn't do anything for me. I didn't get any hits!"

Vincent sighed. "You didn't happen to put in your 'interests' description that you enjoy decapitating people, setting fire to villages, torturing certain blond-haired angsty teenagers, and ultimately causing the bloody demise of cute, fluffy things, did you?"

"…….Er…"

"…"

"…"

"Here, you have light bulb glass in your hair. Let me get it out."

"Thank you."

Meanwhile…

Zack sniffled. "I can't believe that they wouldn't let me work there!"

"Well, the fact that you slept through most of the interview probably didn't leave a very good impression."

"Well, Tifa, if you would have WOKEN ME UP that wouldn't have happened!"

"Hey, you were my competition and 'I' got the job because of it." Tifa grinned evilly.

Zack sniffed. "Well, it doesn't matter, because I know I can kick your butt any day!"

Tifa bristled. "Can not!"

"Can too."

"CAN NOT!"

"CAN TOO!"

Sephiroth drummed his fingers loudly on the 'help' desk. Vincent had lost their game of 'Soul Calibur II' to determine who did what, so he was currently out on the streets advertising for them, wearing a giant heart.

A few minutes later Vincent approached with a teenage—girl? Boy? Girl?

Sephiroth hated it when he couldn't tell.

"Hey, Sephiroth!" Vincent said. "This young boy says he has some love problems."

Sephiroth shifted around in his chair. "Okay then, what's your name, kid?"

"Yuki Sohma," the boy replied.

"And the name of your object of affections?"

"Tohru Honda."

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. "Why does all of this sound so familiar…?"

"Stop!" A shrill voice commanded from somewhere behind Vincent's huge costume. Yuki blanched.

A taller, slightly less feminine-looking figure in a baggy pink kimono popped out from—somewhere, and grabbed Yuki's ear.

"YUKI! What do you think you're doing? Why aren't you back at the main house with ME?"

"Ah—Akito, I was just—"

"That's it! We're going back. Now!"

Akito then proceeded to drag Yuki down the street. By his ear.

Vincent and Sephiroth exchanged glances.

"Okay…that was weird.." Vincent commented.

"Was that Akito a man or a woman?" Sephiroth asked.

"Beats me."

Someone stepped on Zack.

"HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!"

Then Zack remembered why he was laying unconscious on the sidewalk. Tifa had kicked him into a telephone pole.

"She—left me here?" He started bawling loudly. Someone handed him a tissue.

Zack took it. "Oh, dank you." He looked up. A familiar face with long, bright red hair looked back at him.

"Reno?"

Sephiroth poked Vincent. "Sooooo? How much did we make?"

"BE QUIET! I'M COUNTING!" Vincent snapped at him. "Umm…9—10—err,"

"Well?"

"$10.43"

Vincent and Sephiroth looked at each other.

"WOOHOO! WE'RE RICH!" they exclaimed gleefully.

--TBC

Review! And whoever guesses Reno's job gets Reno!

(Reno): HEY!