Ack, well..first of all (passes out rotten tomatoes). Feel free to throw these at me. I've been a bad, lazy author. (pelted)

Second of all, ZOMGREVIEWSLUVLUVLUV! In accordance with new EVIL rule, I will not be able to respond to your reviews here. (snarls) However, umm, if you guys review I will respond to them individually. I will. (sweat)

I am using parentheses way too much. I demand asterisks.

OH, AND while I appreciate your guesses, none of you got Reno's job right. But you all get Reno anyways. (throws him out to the crowd)

Chapter Seven: Disloyalty to your fast-food chain.

Vincent and Sephiroth immediately went out shopping. They returned home about an hour later with several large bags of candy. Everyone else was already home.

"Hey, don't I know that guy?" Sephiroth inquired through a mouthful of licorice. He was pointing to Reno.

"You really have a bad memory, don't you?" Vincent asked.

"So..you want to stay here?" Cloud asked.

Reno nodded hopefully. "You see..I was kicked out of my apartment building."

Cloud raised an eyebrow. "And why would that be?"

"Weel, I kind of have a bad habit of leaving the shower running. With the drain closed. And one day I forgot about it completely and it flooded my entire floor."

Cloud somehow wasn't phased by this. "Are you currently employed?"

"Oh yes. I refill ATM machines."

Cloud sighed and rubbed his temples. He really didn't need anyone else living in here, but another source of income would be good. They needed to repair the house.

Aeris pulled on his shirt. "C'mon Cloud, let's let him stay. We can't leave him out on the street. Besides, our shower won't run for more than five minutes anyways.

Because Cloud turned into a pile of moldable Play-doh when Aeris asked him for anything, Reno was allowed to stay.

That night Vincent was ascending the stairs to his attic, thinking about the cashier that had called him and Sephiroth dweebs after they had dumped the candy and $10.43 onto the counter. Vincent is very sensitive. All of the sudden, someone jumped out in front of him!

"HI!" Rufus chirped.

Vincent sighed. "Let me guess. Toothbrush?"

Rufus' face fell. "How did you know?"

"I've had prior experiences."

After a household vote, Rufus was kicked out. They didn't need any more wackadoos in the house.

The next morning, everyone left for work except for Vincent, Sephiroth, Red, and Zack. Red was exempt (being an animal) and Cloud gave Zack another day (being the nice guy he is.)

"Your turn to be the giant heart," Vincent told Sephiroth.

During their self-given lunch break, Vincent and Sephiroth drove into the Wendy's parking lot on their bicycles. (Well, Sephiroth had a tricycle, but whatever.) They walked into the building. It smelled rather nice for a Wendy's, Vincent noted.

Cloud stood in the middle of the floor, holding a mop. He looked up.

"Sephiroth, you're not allowed to bring the tricycle in here," he said.

Sephiroth pouted and dragged it back out.

Vincent gawked at Cloud. "You've been working here for two years and you're the JANITOR?"

"NO! They just-found someone that could grill faster than me."

"Aeris."

"Yes."

Vincent smiled happily. "Yup, I remember when we had that barbeque. She was cooking the burgers faster than I could eat them. 'Course that might have had something to do with the fact that Tifa poured the whole can of lighter fluid on the grill."

Cloud scrubbed at the rubber marks near the entrance.

Vincent walked up to the counter and ordered food. Yes, food. Never would have guessed.

All of the sudden, there was a shriek from outside! Vincent would have dropped his food in shock if he hadn't steeled his reflexes from the cheese incident. So instead he stuffed it in his..hair, and ran towards the door. Sadly, he chose to ignore the 'wet floor' sign and ended up in a heap with Cloud's mop. (Cloud had already ran outside.)

By the time Vincent made it outside—ah, nothing was different. Cloud had apparently gone on lunch break to eat at McDonalds. Sephiroth was laying on the pavement with footprints all over his back.

"OH NUES!" Vincent gasped. "MURDER!"

"HEY, I'm not dead!" Sephiroth mumbled into the street. He peeled himself up. "Some crazy woman ran me over."

Vincent brought out his notebook and pipe. "What did she look like and what was she doing?"

"Well, she—hey, stop blowing bubbles in my face!"

"Sorry." Vincent put his pipe away.

"Anyways, this short lady with a camera and a pair of jeans that had holes the size of Canada in them was chasing Johnny Depp through here."

"JOHNNY DEPP? WHERE?"

Sephiroth stared at Vincent.

"Ehe, sorry. Come Watson, we must solve this mystery!" Vincent pulled out his bike from nowhere. "Get on! We are now detectives!"

"Uh, I thought we ran a dating service."

"That ship has sailed. Now get on."

"But, uh.."

"GET ON, WATSON, OR I SHALL BE FORCED TO BLOW SOAP BUBBLES IN YOUR FACE!"

"Coming…"

And Cloud sat happily next door enjoying his Big Mac.

--TBC

Well, here's some explanations. The crazy lady who ran over Sephiroth is based off of my mother, who's a photographer and a Johnny Depp fanatic. She wears jeans with HUGE holes in the knees.

Nifty soap-bubble pipes to those who review!