Title: Did I Get the Message Wrong? (1/2)
Rating: 16+
Pairing: Donna/Josh
Genres: Romance
Spoilers: Post 'The Cold'
Disclaimer: These are not mine, I do this for fun and hope that others will enjoy.
Summary: This is my post episode fic and the first that I have posted in a long time. I would like to thank Rhiannon and Dana for Beta'ing it for me and I want to thank everyone who offered (I didn't think that I would get that many replies). I hope you all enjoy!
Slowly pushing the door to her room open, it was just another hotel room in a long line of dark, dim rooms, none of which were her own. Looking down into her left hand she still held the key that was meant for Josh. This room wasn't meant to be the same as all the others; Donna hadn't intended for the night to be like this and now it seemed as dark as the room she was looking into.
'Had Ronna really seen the key or had Josh pointed it out to her?' She asked her self as she pushed the door closed behind her.
Falling onto the empty bed, Donna reached out and turned on the lamp next to the bed. As her hand dropped, it fell onto a note pad that she kept next to her bed. Well, every hotel bed. Picking up the pad, Donna propped herself into a sitting position.
Looking at the blank piece of paper, Donna had promised Josh to be more careful with her diary after the whole Cliff thing and she promised herself it would be better if she just didn't keep one anymore. But she missed how it made her feel, writing things down always helped her get things straight in her mind, if she wrote enough about what was happening she would come up with the solution that she needed.
All she could do right now was tap the pen against the blank note pad. Staring out the window, she could see the glow from the city lights, someone had made sure she had a great view of the city. If only she felt like enjoying it.
Tapping the pen for a final time she wrote, 'Did I get the message wrong?' All Donna could think about was the kiss, how it felt and what did it really mean? Was it something that only happened in the heat of the moment or was it more? Did Josh really think it was inappropriate? That it shouldn't have happened? Was he sorry that it did?
'Did I get the message wrong?' Donna wrote again on the next line of the pad, because now she was thinking of the looks that Josh had been giving her all day. Even when Josh didn't know that she had seen him looking. Those looks gave her to courage to give him her room key. Well, almost give him her room key.
"Maybe he didn't want it?" Donna said out loud, to her empty dim room. "Had he pointed it out to Ronna?" Again she thought of those looks and the last look as she was handed her room key.
'Did I get the message wrong?' Now she had the same thing on the note pad three times and she could only think of two things. "I've never gotten a message wrong. I've never read Josh wrong." She said as she began tapping the pad with her pen again.
A knock at her door almost caused Donna to jump off the bed. "Just a minute," she called as she turned the note pad over and placed it back on the bedside table and brushed her hands over her cloths, trying as best as she could to straighten herself out before answering the door. He's come anyway despite not having a key, and he was on the other side of that door. 'I got the message right' she thought as she opened the door.
"Ms Moss?" Only she found a concierge holding a large yellow envelope. Not Josh as she had excepted, as she hoped. "Ms Donna Moss?" The concierge asked again.
"Yes."
"This was left at the desk for you," he said as he handed her the envelope.
"Thank you." Donna smiled politely and closed her door. The first thing that Donna noticed about the envelope was her name was the only thing on it and it was in Josh's handwriting. "Great," she stated as her heart sank more as she thought he didn't want the key to her room but he could give her more work to do.
Tossing the envelope on the bed as she walked into the bathroom, she was going to take a shower and wash today away. Whatever it was that Josh wanted her to do it could wait till tomorrow, she turned her head and looked at it sitting on the edge of her bed. Well it could wait until she had showered at least.
Stepping back into her room from the bathroom with her hair still wet, wrapped up in a towel and dressed only in a white hotel bathrobe. Donna sat on the edge of the bed and picked up the envelope; she noticed now that it was thin holding maybe one or two sheets of paper but it was heavy, heavier then it should have been.
Opening the envelope and turning it upside down a single key dropped into her hand folded in a piece of paper. Opening the note, it simply read, 'Meet me'. Donna recognized the key immediately. A brass key on a small keychain with the seal of the President, it was the spare key to Josh's apartment.
Donna knew it well, the last time she had seen it was when she had handed back to Josh as she left to work with Will on the Russell campaign. She remembered that it made her leaving real. He had been so quite when she placed it on his desk before she walked out his office in the West Wing for the last time.
Standing in front of Josh's door Donna was suddenly unsure of what she should do. Once she had realized what the envelope had meant she hadn't dried her hair, Donna had just tied it back into a messing bun and pulled a pair of jeans along with a turtle neck wool top and a cream coat. She called for a cab and now she was here. Donna was at the door to Josh's apartment with the key in her hand.
Without thinking too much, she had unsuccessfully passed her room key to Josh and now was standing outside his apartment door. It was now that Donna was unsure of what to do next. She could see the low glow of light coming from under the door, so he was defiantly inside. Should she knock or should she just let herself in? God, how she wished, it was Josh standing outside her room with this decision.
Only thing is that he couldn't have waited outside her room in the hotel, too many people, campaigns' staff and press to see him there. Josh would have had to just open the door and come into the room or not come at all. Well, Donna thought to herself she came to his apartment so now she just has to enter.
Pushing the key into the door she turned it and pushed the door open quickly not wanting her nerves to get the better of her. She still wasn't sure what Josh wanted. Maybe not what she had hoped for so long. Maybe Josh just thought it would be better if they were away from the other staff when he told her that they couldn't have a relationship or maybe that he didn't want one with her.
As the door opened, she saw Josh standing just on the other side, still in his suit minus his jacket and his tie now loose. "Hey," Josh said quietly. He also looked a little unsure of what to do. He stepped forward and took her coat, before closing the door behind her.
"Thanks," Donna replied as she took a few steps into his apartment. She still had no real idea what she was going to say to Josh or what he was going to say.
"Can I get you something to drink?"
"No. I'm fine, thank you," Donna said a little more formal then she had intended.
"Donna … Donnatella," Josh said as he tentatively took her hand unsure what her reaction would be toward the gesture. He could see that she was nervous, but that all seemed to drain away as he took her hand in his and lead her to the couch.
He waited for her to sit before he pulled the coffee table a little closer to the couch and sat on it pulling Donna's right hand into his. Slowly running his fingers around her palm, he was focused solely on her hand while trying to put something into words, "Not in a hotel room." Was all he said his eyes still studying her hand.
"What?" Donna said unsure of what he meant.
"Donna, you have no idea how much I wanted this morning to happen …"
Donna leaned forward, "Josh---"
"Please just let me finish," Josh cut her off and holding her hand more tightly in his. "I wasn't really sure how you would feel about it. I didn't know how to deal with it." Josh paused for a moment and for the first time since they sat down he looked up at her, "Donna, do you know what it's like to finally get what you have wanted for so long and at the same time not know if you've really got it."
"Yes," was Donna whispered reply
"And when you push your key toward me … you did something I could never have done and at the same time confirmed what I had only prayed could be. I've never been as scared as I was when Ronna saw that key and picked it up and at the same time I was glad because I never wanted …" Josh's voice trailed off before it just petit out.
It was a few minutes before Josh spoke again, "Donna, I swore to myself that if I ever got the chance to be with you it would not be in hotel room sneaking around trying to make sure that no one saw us." Reaching out and taking her other hand Josh looked directly into Donna's eyes, "I wanted it to be somewhere that I would remember."
Donna watched as Josh's face changed to one of confidence and he flashed his trade mark smile. "Josh," Donna dragged out, her voice now calmed and relaxed.
"I wanted it to be somewhere that we could return to … y'know … if you wanted too."
"So you didn't think that this morning was inappropriate?" This time it was Donna with the smile on her face.
"Oh, no, it was and passing me your room key was very inappropriate," Josh slowly pulled Donna from her seat on the couch sliding her onto his lap with her legs either side of his.
"What about you having your apartment key delivered to my room?"
Raising his hand and brushing some hair away from her face. "That, that was very appropriate," his hand lingered softly on her face as he slowly glided his fingers over her cheek. Donna leaned her head toward his hand, softly forcing her face into his hand making it possible for him to guide her into his kiss.
As they kissed, Donna completely removed his tie and moved her hand to Josh's shirt buttons, starting with the top and very slowly moved her way down pulling his shirt out of his pants as she went. "Josh?" The questioning concern tone suddenly returned to her voice.
Pulling back so their foreheads were touching, "Are you okay with this?" God he was praying she would say yes because he wasn't sure how he was going to stop, not now.
"I don't want this to be a one time thing. I thought when I gave you my room key I could do it but I couldn't handle … If you got me here tonight if you just wanted to g---"
Cutting her off with a soft quick kiss, "I wasn't joking before Donna or trying to get you into bed. I want you … I don't think I knew just how much until Gaza I have never been so scared in my life. I thought that I had lost you, I never what to have that feeling again."
This time, for the first time tonight Donna kissed Josh, pushing his dress shirt off his shoulders. Josh lifted Donna up as he stood and carried her to his bedroom.