Okay, alright, so there I was, right? I was sitting on the ground, I was happy, you know? So, Kagome's yelling at InuYasha again. All either of them can do is bitch about everything. It's insufferable. I mean, if I'd had my way, Kagome would be at least... God, I don't know, at least six months expecting by now. InuYasha has seriously recieved a gift to even be tolerated by a girl like that, but he's too busy complaining to mate with her, pathetic.

"InuYasha, go take a bath!"

InuYasha shook his head, and a small cloud of dust puffed out of his pale locks.

"No, I don't need you to order me around, I'm not even dirty!"

I sighed again and laid my head down. Kagome had literally grabbed Inu-chan by the hair and was dragging him in the direction of the river.

"Stop being a baby!"

"I don't want t-"

He should have seen it coming. He just should have seen it coming.

"Sit, boy!"

Bam. I could feel the Earth rumble as the half-demon struck it, face-first. Kagome was sitting above him, looking rather triumphant, a bundle of pulled-out hair in her hand.

"Now, InuYasha..."

She was feigning calm, that's how you know she's really pissed.

"I'm going to try to remain calm, alright? Now..."

She turned to me, and I could see her eyes. She was looking straight at me.

"Miroku, you go with him, make sure he doesn't... Eh, you know, do anything... Stupider"

Maybe InuYasha wasn't such a lucky man after all. I nodded, to terrified to deny her will, and rushed over to InuYasha's side, attempting to rouse him.

"Mmn... Wake up, wake up!" I muttered into his ear, trying to rock him, which was near impossible, since he probably weighed a stone ton.

"G'way, Miroku..." He coughed and sat up, his nose was bleeding. "My ears... 'n.. They're ringing..."

I took him by the arm and got him up, it was like trying to will a corpse into motion. "C'mon InuYasha, let's go get you cleaned up, you're filthy.."

"It's only because Kagome hates me."

"No, don't say that!" I replied, entering the forest via handy trail. "She's very fond of you, you're just... Eh, stubborn."

There was a river not to far from us now, I could hear it, like a whisper, ever changing, forever flowing. Rivers are good things to meditate on, not good things to bathe in.

InuYasha had no problems with modesty, and he was more or less... Uhm... Nude before we were even in sight of the water. He nearly ran into the river, yelping out, shivvering as the frigid cold overtook his body.

I did my best to avert my eyes, but... Oh, truly, who can really resist that sort of thing? You know, how many chances in a lifetime do you have to check out another man's... Uhm... goods? Alright, I'll change the topic, he was splashing about, and the distinct smell of wet dog filled the air. Just as quick as he'd started he was out again, and he literally shook himself dry. Right in front of me, his hair flinging about in all directions. It was quite a remarkable display.

I kept my eyes to the ground and I stepped closer to the half demon, blushing profusely. He picked up his pants and started to slip them on.

"Brr It's cold, Miroku..." He stammered, more out of wanting to say something than out of wishing to say something intelligent.

"In that case..." I replied, turning to face him, smiling, a ribbon of crimson on my cheeks. "...Let me warm you up..." I leaned forward and placed a short kiss on his lips, feeling his entire body recoil, his ears peak. Now, before you ask me why I did this, consider, how many chances do you get to pull that sort of thing? I mean, specifically, being alone together with InuYasha, not very often, trust me, alright?

InuYasha pushed my away, Just like I expected he would, and brought me down, catching my face with his claws, leaving five identical parellel cuts down my cheek. Just like I expected he would, he stood above me, a look of complete scorn in his eyes, and I clung to a tree for support, the bleeding wasn't bad, but it hurt.

"You stupid, stupid, God damned human..." He whispered, stepping closer. Oh God, this was the end, he was going to kill me right here, right now, over what? Over a kiss? Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut? I just knew he would overreact...

He kneeled beside me, and only then I could see the deep scarlet tinge to his cheeks, he brushed his hand along my face, examining the wounds, they would heal, and scars would probably be minimal, considering the bandages were kept fresh.

"Stupid, s-stupid human..." He whispered ""Look at what... You made me d-do..." He leaned down and returned the kiss, his face burning against my own.

That's when I spotted Kagome, looking stunned, holding her hand over her mouth, completely flabbergasted. She was probably blushing harder than the two of us combined.

"SIT, boy!"

Notes:

Alright, I'll update this story when I feel like it, it just depends on how much inspiration I get, multiplied by the number of reviews my readers send me. See? It's called math, dig it.