Forsaken hero (On Hiatus for now)

by The Writing Pupil

Basically focuses on the aftermath of Subaru dying a Permadeath after being forgotten by the entire world. inspired by Re:Forgotten and all its spinoffs

5. A healer who broke his oath

Hello, it's been what? A month and 2 weeks haha at least it wasn't 2 months as last time so…progress. Listen. I would like to first say, to those who expected this chapter to be the trial. I am sorry for it is not, and it is just Felix suffering; I did it because my beta reader and many others ask for the sake of pacing…and not making a 20k word chapter into a 50k word chapter. I decided to cut it down for now…and next time it can be the trial. Oh I am excited for that, you dont understand how much if I could I would skip right to it and not set anything up lol.

Thank you to my many many different Beta readers

Octo on Good Kush: My first; has been overseeing and fixing grammar in forsaken for a while now and is the main reason why this chapter is in good enough quality. He cut out a ton of filler, showed me which dialogue or writing made no sense and double checks them, without him this chapter would be filled with endless grammar errors lol. He's also writing something pretty amazing featuring rezero so be on the look out.

General Aditya: This man is the MVP when it comes to misspellings, he has spotted it out many different things wrong with this story and pointed it out.

MagaofBreath: Another beta reader, you know him, he writes good fics (also forced me to write a curse one in exchange for something holy) Thanks for your thoughts and many more.

Shape of evil, Heretic slayer 69, armoured, and many many more. Thank you all for the support and getting my lazy ass to write.

Like always please tell me what i'm doing right, wrong, and what I can improve on for now, I hope you enjoy the chapter.

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It had been just a few hours after the Emilia camp left with the dead body of their friend and knight, Natsuki Subaru, in hand. The cold aura from Emilia's wrath still lay dormant throughout the entirety of the Crusch manor, dropping the temperature of every corner of the mansion. All those who remained inside could do nothing but shiver and tremble at the sheer cold and wait as darkness began taking over the sky.

As the sun dipped down and the moon began to take its place, the temperature dipped as well, making the already freezing temperature hypothermic. Just walking around inside the manor was a living freezing hell that none wished to endure any longer. Yet, they couldn't really complain. After all, a little cold was mercy compared to what Emilia could've done. She could've frozen everyone solid, making the manor into a winter wasteland. No, she instead showed mercy and left, cutting off the alliance between Crusch and her camp. This was the best outcome for everyone who worked or even was five yards away from the manor.

Yes, allowing them to live was the most merciful thing that Emilia has done. Merciful for everyone, except for a certain feline knight sitting alone on a king-size bed. His knightly outfit was stained with blood, and his ears slumped down atop his head. As he stared emptily at the floor before him, shivering as he touched his neck, it felt….cold. Not cold as in the manor's freezing temperature, cold, as if he felt his entire body was frozen solid. He could even still feel a hand on his neck, gripping tightly around his throat as he exhaled white mist. It was a few hours, yet he remembered it like it happened seconds ago.

Felix Argyle, the greatest healer of all the kingdom and former knight of the Duchess, Crusch Karsten, remembered exactly what had happened. He remembered the sadness of everyone inside the room as they shed endless tears over the body of the dead raven-haired knight. He remembered the anger of an Oni about to beat down an innocent great spirit for her own actions. He remembered the anger of the half-elf Emilia, prepared to freeze him from the neck down, he remembered the fear he felt as his blood began to slow, his organs freezing from the inside out and the temperature of his body decreasing with each passing second her hand was on his neck. He remembered thinking to himself that he wanted to live and not perish at the hands of the half-elf.

He wanted to see another tomorrow, though he had denied another tomorrow to an innocent young man. Yet, he wished he could go back to the moment Emilia had her hand on his throat. He now wished the half-elf had frozen him solid, and shattered his body into trillions of pieces, and tossed him to the wind. Maybe if she did that, the sins he had committed in this life could be erased and redeemed with his death and the punishment he knew was coming soon could be avoided. If she did, he would be able to rest with a bit of peace in his mind and heart. But that didn't happen, nor will it ever happen again for the only reason he had been spared was because of the woman he was honored to serve.

Crusch Karsten had granted him mercy. His lady saved him from Emilia's wrath which he so rightly deserved.

In return for her final act of mercy, she spoke four simple words that completely broke his heart.

"He's not my knight."

Those words echoed through his mind constantly, even after she left him alone.

He remembered the disgust in her eyes as she stared down at him, remembered her saying that someone who has murdered and killed one of their own can't be a knight under her. She was right, his lady was always right, and she was justified…but Felix didn't care. He wanted to be by her side, he always had been, this couldn't be how it ends! He didn't know what he would do if he couldn't serve her.

"Crusch-sama…Lady Crusch-sama…. I did it for you…I didn't…" he choked out, tears welling up in his eyes.

He had to prepare himself for when he eventually had to face his lady. Whether it be today or tomorrow, he knew one last interaction with the mistress he served was coming up soon. He needed to prepare, prepare what to say, what to do, how to act because all of this will determine the rest of his life.

Today was the last day he could spend in this manor. If he didn't try to convince her, who knows what would happen. He may be forced to return home, go back to a state of pure poverty scraping with strangers in order to eat, maybe he would even have to sell his body in order to make it through the day. No matter how much he tried to think of how his life would be without Lady Crusch by his side, it would end terribly. His head ached as he began thinking of all the ways his life could go completely wrong if he didn't try doing something right this second. He still had time, he just…needed to make sure what he said was nothing but perfect.

"I-I didn't know, Subaru wasn't a cultist. It was all Gluttony, yeah, it was all Gluttony's fault. All because of Gluttony, Gluttony made me do it. If Gluttony wasn't there, none of this wouldn't have happened." Felix quivered. His body began to strain as each word he spoke put some kind of invisible weight on his shoulder. A weight no matter how much he tried to shake off wouldn't disappear, and it was nearly crushing him

Unconsciously, his left hand moved towards his right, gently rubbing it over and over, but it did nothing to calm his nerves.

Until accidentally, as he rubbed his smooth fingers on his equally smooth skin, one of his claws extended and dug itself deep. When Felix would rub himself again, the claw would leave a small line on his body. At first, it stung, and Felix's hand jolted in place from the sudden pain. The small cut he accidentally caused to himself began leaking bright red liquid, but that was quickly dealt with as Felix's body naturally emitted a small blue light over the wound and healed it on its own.

The human body was always sensitive to pain, even the smallest amounts could cause someone to stop whatever they were doing for a second to endure and try its best to not feel the experience.

Yet for Felix, it was strange. Though the pain had long faded, he could still feel that sensation. It still hurts very, very badly and, he didn't want to ever feel that kind of pain again, but at the same time, it felt good, too good. For a second that pain was there, he felt like all the problems in the world had faded, yet they all returned in an instant the moment it healed. Unconsciously trying to retract his singular claw instead attracted all of them. Steadily, his claws went over the surface of his skin, gliding gently over for a few moments before stabbing himself with them and began scratching.

He scratched and scratched without end, the stinging sensation was stronger with each small assault his claws did on his skin. He hissed at the pain at first and wanted to pull away, but something in his body didn't allow him to. His claws dug deeper into his skin as the images of the angered and disgusted face of his lady slowly began to fade. The deeper he went, the more he forgot about it, and the more his thoughts became clearer and though strange, the pain felt kinda good. A strange bliss overtook his body as scratch marks kept reappearing and disappearing. That bliss was intoxicating his nails. Deeper and deeper, so deep he made the shallow cuts become bigger and more grave, allowing for his dark red blood to escape before they could be healed fully and stain his knightly outfit even further.

A small smile appeared over the healer's face, his thoughts becoming clearer and clearer until one thought came to surface. It was something he said at first, but one his heart and mind didn't want to believe, but now with his thoughts clearer, his mind was now a lot more open to the idea. No, it wasn't an idea, it was the truth. His mind had finally accepted the truth his heart was so reluctant to see.

"Yes, it was all Gluttony's fault. Lady Crusch will understand I did it for her. She's kind, she will surely understand. I can be by her side, I-I-can. I can help her win the royal selection, I can help her accomplish her dream-"

As Felix kept on whispering to himself, he felt his body getting lighter as he, for the first time in hours, left the king-size bed. His legs wobbled under the pressure of his own body weight, his mind still couldn't get rid of the images of how his lady looked at him. The look he never expected to once receive in his entire existence was now still playing over and over in his head and there was nothing he could do to remove it.

Even so, he powered through and began walking. He moved slow and unsteady, but somehow kept his back straight; he couldn't look entirely pitiful. His footsteps were faint yet, they grew louder the closer he was to his goal. His pace didn't change. The sound of his footsteps nearly clouded his mind, but he still remained focused, thinking about each outcome that could play when he arrived at his lady's office. His mind gave him pleasant thoughts, each outcome ending with Crusch forgiving him once he explained the story.

The fury in her eyes would turn back into one that was loving and caring. The thought caused him to unconsciously smile. Before he could even blink, he was already outside the final resting place of Natsuki Subaru, ready to walk towards his lady's office and-

"Is that him?" Felix's ears twitched as he heard a voice coming from the left side of the hallway. The voice spoke in a faint whisper impossible for any human to hear, but thanks to his demi-human bloodline, it made it perfectly clear as if they were standing right next to him.

"Yes, that's the one who murdered Sir Natsuki, that Sir Natsuki, the one who helped our lady," another voice answered sounding completely disgusted. As Felix could feel their gaze burning through his back, the response it gave made Felix bite his lip with all his might, causing a bit of damage, but not enough for him to actually bleed.

"Murdered!? I've heard but I didn't think it to be true!" the other voice responded with a gasp. The response caused Felix to look down onto the carpet floor. He already knew what he had done, he accepted it, but damn it. He didn't need to hear it over and over and over again, like a constant loop. His mind was already doing that but with the voice of his lady. He didn't need to hear it from other people.

"It is. He tortured him to death. How despicable to torture a man to death, a hero and knight as well. I'm surprised he hasn't been hung for what he's done, and here he is in his knight's uniform, acting like he deserves it." Felix could hear the ire in the voice's tone.

'I do deserve it, I've saved countless lives' Felix thought to himself, biting the tip of his lips.

"Look it's stained with blood as well, could it be sir Natsuki's blood?"

"Almost certainly, from the words of my other co-workers, he came directly here with Sir Natsuki's dead body, and a lot of his blood got onto him. It was without a doubt Sir Natsuki. I'm almost surprised he even showed his face here."

"Yet…he's a knight. I can't believe he's serving Lady Karsten. It's a tragedy to even be in the same room as him knowing what he's done…it makes me nauseated. What if he suddenly decides to do the same to us? Look what he's done to Sir Natsuki and he's acting as if he has done nothing wrong." The voice's tone of disgust quickly turned to worry as it uttered out in fear.

That in turn caused Felix's mind to stop for a moment in pure shock, his mouth unconsciously opened wide and the little eye he had in his eyes faded as the voice's words entered his ear.

He was a healer; he was supposed to be a sight of comfort when people saw him walking around.

However, now? They were scared that he might torture them, kill them the same way he "accidentally" did Subaru. It was almost too much to handle. He wanted to walk away, yet his body was shackled in place by invisible chains.

"No worries, I heard first hand Lady Karsten did the right thing and expelled him from her services. A person like him doesn't deserve to be even twenty miles away from our lady. He should be sent off to the sand dunes, at least there he won't be able to hurt anyone."

"I couldn't agree more."

Felix could do nothing but stare at one of the doors leading to another room and ball his hand into a fist as he kept overhearing the conversation. They knew nothing. Yes, he hurt and injured Subaru, yes, he killed him, he understood and accepted that fact. Yet, they didn't know why and instead kept talking behind his back as if he was a monster. All he wanted to do was turn around and explain what truly happened, what truly led him to commit such acts. But…he didn't have the heart to turn and face them.

As much as he wanted to confront them and try his best to explain why he had to torture Subaru and why it wasn't his fault, his body was too stuck on the fact that each word they spoke was correct. Even when he tried mumbling to himself, no words came out of his mouth. Everytime he opened his mouth to speak, no words pushed forth. It was almost as if the words he would have spoken out hung on to the back of his throat, choking him until he swallowed back down.

It doesn't matter. He needed to save his words for Lady Crusch. Yes, he needed to save his energy for when he explained everything. Once he gets his side of the story out then everything can go-

"Ain't that the truth,...though there seems to be something wrong with him. He hasn't moved in a while."

Almost instantly, the second one of the voices finished speaking. Felix's chains had finally been broken, and in turn, his mind. He didn't know it at first due to being so focused on the two voices talking to one another, but what they said was true. He hadn't moved an inch, he was still in the exact position just staring at a door in front of him. He hadn't moved in what seemed so long.

"Mmm, it could be the fact that he's coming to terms with him no longer being next to Lady Karsten. He was always…obsessive, when it came to her."

"Don't need to tell me twice, I've seen how he acts around her. Pretty creepy at times, I'm surprised Lady karsten could put up with it. Well at least she doesn't have to anyone."

Felix's mind froze for a split second at the words the voice spoke. All he could do was bring his head down in disappointment as he turned to the left in the direction where Crusch's office was located. With his own two hands, he covered both his ears,squished them tight and walked.

They used to regard him highly, grateful for his healing ability. He would always take joy in accidentally intruding on conversations with his heightened hearing when he was around.

But now, he only wished to cut his ears off so none of their voices could crawl in ever again, even at the cost of him forever losing his heightened hearing.

Felix Argyle walked through the entirety of the manor to reach Crusch's office. Each step he took felt more sluggish than the last, preventing him from running and rushing towards his lady's office. All the while, his body seemed to get weaker and weaker with every little thing he did.

He also felt the glares from the maids and leftover remnants of the people who stayed in Subaru's room in a futile attempt to revive him.

They were staring at him, each of them had a different type of stare, but most could be boiled down to two simple words, `Fear and revolt'

None of them said a word, but he knew exactly what they were thinking. They were all thinking one word, and one word alone.

'Murderer.'

That's all they viewed him as, a cold bloodied murder, someone who if given the chance to do it again, he would without any hesitation. That's why they always quicken their pace when he walks towards them. They didn't want to be the next Natsuki Subaru. That just had to be the reason, why else were they looking at him with such fear one would give when seeing a member of the Witch cult. Why else would they always dare not even meet at the very least his figure.

It didn't matter. He doesn't need their approval, he doesn't need them to see him as human or even a healer. He only needed his lady. With his lady, he could endure even the ends of the universe. Crusch-sama was all he needed in life, helping Crusch-sama was the only purpose in this life, he had no other. So for now, he could deal with the constant glares staring right at him even the ones he could see when he closed his eyes.

After what felt like an eternity of marching slowly through several long hallways, trying his best to ignore the constant razor-sharp gazes of disappointment, disgust, and even outright fear, Felix finally reached Crusch's office door. It uttered a strange but bright light underneath the glowing magical gems for the first time since returning to the manor. He let out a sigh of relief for the first time in what felt like an entirety, and his pounding heart beat rapidly at the thought of talking to his lady once gazing upon the door. Behind it was his goal, the most important person in the universe.

It started beating slowly, but not out of relief that he finally reached the door, but now out of anxiety the relief and excitement he once felt when staring at the door disappeared in an instant. As the door before him grew ten times its normal size and was just standing motionlessly in front of Felix.

It was shining above him now, like a sacred thing that couldn't be touched by his impure hands. The healer felt small, weak, powerless as the door before him seemed to glow with a golden light. Why was he healing this? Why was this happening now of all times? He had walked in and out of the door so many times throughout his life.

Normally, he would just walk in joyfully without any hesitation and place himself right by her side. However, now, there was something telling him no, screaming at him that it would be best if he just walked away. That he wasn't worthy of glancing or even thinking about walking through the door and meeting the beautiful face of his mistress. Her soft gentle eyes, and her confident demeanor always assured him everything was okay, but now, every time he tried to get that comforting image into his mind, it was always replaced with her disappointed angry glare as well as the death stares from the Emilia camp.

He still felt the chilling sensation of his blood being frozen from the inside of his neck down, which caused him to once again unconsciously touch his neck. It still felt freezing cold and the handprint from the half-elf still felt fresh with bits of ice on it. He couldn't help but tremble at the thought of what would happen if the half-elf had her way with him; he could've been dead if his lady had just been one second late. Damn, for an immature girl, she was strong, very strong.

Was she always this powerful? Dumb question, of course she was…she was a key player in defeating the great rabbit and saving Priestella after all. They always did underestimate Emilia because of her innocent nature, but now, because of Subaru and his own recent actions, she no longer had the restraint of seeing the body of her fallen knight. Because of his actions and his actions alone, Felix caused the nearly indestructible alliance to break apart, and worst yet, Felix hated to admit that by killing Subaru he may have…ruined his lady's chances of winning the royal selection.

No. He couldn't think like that. Once he talked to his lady, everything was going to be fine. The public didn't know yet, even so…he could say it was an accident. No, what was he thinking, it was an accident. It was all the archbishop's fault, surely his lady will understand.

"Just knock on the door, Ferris, explain to Crusch-sama everything and be by her side."

The healer mumbled under his breath as he took a step in front of the door, getting closer and closer. He could hear his heart banging against his chest like a drum. It had a strange rhythm, it was almost as if his heart was spelling out the words "Run." If the healer had known better, he could've assumed his heart was trying to lead him away from the door. In contrast his mind uttered smooth comforting words, giving his body all the strength it needed to step one foot over the other leading him closer to his goal, suppressing the loud beating of his heart which desperately tried to get the healer to turn away.

Such saccharine words Felix and his mind so tenderly shared, keeping him in a daze of false hope. What did I add again?

'She will forgive you.'

'It wasn't your fault.'

'Lady Crusch is so kind.'

'If Gluttony was never there, none of this would've happened.'

All the while, his heart kept on beating rapidly and rapidly until he was right in front of the door and it quieted down. His heart had failed to do its job, and the false illusions in his mind had taken the day.

Before the healer could even truly process what he was doing, his hand was balled up into a fist and he delivered three short quiet knocks to the door. There were a few seconds of silence coming from the other side of the door, and in that silence, Felix was about to turn around and walk back to his quarter when he was stopped by a gentle but commanding voice coming from the other side of the door.

"I was told not to be disturbed," the voice behind the door said. That voice belonged to no one other than the valkyrie and the candidate for the dragon throne of Lugunica, Crusch Karsten. Though her voice still held that kind and commanding nature Felix loved dearly, she sounded a tad bit…harsh. If Felix didn't know better she also sounded very very annoyed that someone stumbled their way onto their door.

"C-C-Crusch-sama it's me Ferris. Fe-... I would like to talk to you." Felix trembled as he spoke, his legs shaking.. He couldn't afford to act like the same old Ferris, for now he needed to go back to the first time he met his lady. When she first freed his heart and soul, he couldn't be Ferris; he needed to just be Felix Argyle. Maybe if he did that and he acted humble, his lady would forgive him.

Crusch said nothing for a few seconds, and Felix did the same as he anxiously waited for a response. He soon got his answer after he heard a loud sigh coming from beyond the door.

"I have no business with you. You're set to leave for tomorrow at the crack of dawn. I've told the maids to pack your things already. Leave," Crusch spoke. This time her tone was even harsher and more serious. Felix could already feel the heat from her gaze burning through.

"B-but Crusch-sama please, I need to speak with you. I would like to explain-".

"There is nothing to explain," she spoke out with an other worldly calm like what she said was something normal for anyone to say, but not Felix the way she spoke. It chilled him to the bone, he waited for her to continue speaking yet there was nothing further for a few seconds. In that pause was complete silence that was stark against the lapse of conversation. Too many emotions were covered by that silence and Felix felt each and everyone one. "You've killed a knight, a knight of a candidate at that. You have no right to explain anything!"

"P-please Crusch-sama, I know what I've done. F-I am truly sorry for what I've done but, please allow me the…privilege to come in and speak with you on the matter," Felix said slowly, trying his best to hide the desperation in his voice. His face was right up on the door, quiet enough for anyone eavesdropping to not hear anything but loud enough for Crusch to hear him.

Crusch paused for a minute once more, The sound of wood being tapped could be heard from the other side of the door and ironically enough each tap matched the rhythm of Felix's heartbeat.

"Very well, you have five minutes. Do not waste my time. Wilhelm, open the door please."

"As you wish my lady." The voice of an old disgruntled man spoke behind the door. Shortly after he spoke the door opened a little bit, not large enough for Felix to get through but just a small crack so the man could poke his eye out.

Much to the old man's dismay, though he expected already, Felix Argyle was indeed on the other side of the door. He had his head down and didn't dare to face the old man, he didn't say anything to Felix but like all the others could tell the old butler was furious at him. Out of everyone in the manor, Wilhelm had to be the second most furious if not the most furious.

Afterall Subaru was the one who helped him avenge his wife, saved his lady and countless soldiers lives during the battle with the white whale. He considered the boy a grandson much more than his own, and to hear someone who he values as a grandson get tortured to death by the hands of someone living in his own home, Wilhelm was beyond furious, though he didn't show it and remained calm and collected due to the mistakes of his youth mixed with the experience of age and growth. To not damage the honorable look of his lady any further, he remained quiet and passive. Felix knew it wouldn't stay that way long. Should he say anything that'd greatly upset the sword demon, and his lady would allow him to do as he wished.

Felix would be cut in half so quickly by the demon's sword, so quickly he wouldn't even have the time to blink nor regenerate. He would be sent to the afterlife, a quick and painless death, one the sword demon found undeserving for a man who caused the last moments of his grandchild's life in constant agony.

"I truly hope you aren't here to dishonor Subaru-dono's image any further, nor our lady's," he hissed. as he reluctantly opened the door nearly snapping it open, just wide enough for Felix to squeeze through without any problems or discomfort

Felix simply nodded with his body shaking and sweat dripping down , and began walking past the sword demon.A drip of sweat could be seen leaving the top of his forward. All the while, he turned and walked towards a decently large brown desk and sitting down right behind her desk was Crusch Karsten herself.

"Speak, Felix Argyle What is it? Do you have to explain? Be weary, my patience with you has grown thin." Crusch scowled as she narrowed her gaze down at Felix from the comfortable position of her chair. Her face showed no emotion at the sight of the person she once considered a knight. There was no gentle look, no sign of apparition in her eyes, just a cold neutral look that nearly matched that of a person that held no emotion in their heart. Felix had seen her poker face many times before, but now he was on the receiving end, and that fact alone broke Felix's heart even more.

"I-I first would like to thank you for saving my life from Emilia-sama. Your mercy and grace knows no bound Cru-...Lady Crusch," he spoke and bowed as humbly as he could.

Crusch on the other hand, wasn't buying it, and her face still remained as neutral as ever. However, her gaze did harden a little bit as she knew exactly what her…former knight was trying to do. She spent years with him, side by side, hand and hand and hell sometimes they even shared the same room. So this little act of his…was…just a little disappointing to her. she knew how far he had fallen but… to think it was this bad.

"Please do not be mistaken, I did not do this out of my own kindness. I prevented Emilia from freezing you solid because of the great service you provided to the country and myself. You've saved countless lives so in return I have saved yours, but be warned." I only saved you once, should anything happen to you once more, I will not step in,"

Crusch stated blunty, staring straight at the healer, sharpening her gaze, almost choking on her own words all the while she desperately tried and succeeded in maintaining her poker face. She never thought she would have to say this to a friend…no, the person in front of her didn't classify as a friend but still. She never wanted to say this to anyone, especially not Felix, but now she had no choice.

"I understand…." Felix began with a sad whisper as he lifted his body up and stood up straight,though he still hadn't found the strength to look directly in the eye of his lady.

The healer stood silent for 10 more seconds summoning all the courage he had left inside of him by taking a deep long breath before he forced himself to continue speaking.

"I-I know, what I've done to Subaru-kun was…terrible. Unforgivable but…it wasn't my fault. I-I-I didn't wa-"

"Excuse me?!" Crusch raised her voice louder, unintentionally slamming her hands on her smooth desk causing cracks to form as she couldn't believe what she just heard. It took everything she had not to stand up. Felix, being the center of Crusch outburst nearly jumped and took a step back but luckily his body did not take another because just a step away from him was the sword demon himself. Unlike Crusch he wasn't shocked no, the dark aura surrounding him and his trembling hand told Felix everything he needed to know.

"Felix! I said for you to NOT dishonor Subaru-dono's name and yet you stand here. I SHOULD CUT YOU DOWN FOR SUCH NONSENSE WORDS!" Wilhelm screamed out, exhaling nearly all the breath he had in his lungs as he prepared to reach for his sword.

Luckily there was a certain green haired duchess who raised her hand right in front of his face, her eyes still filled with shock as she stared down her former knight. Any sympathy she had in the back of her mind seemed to completely disappear as she just couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Was a man who committed the worst crime anyone could do, murder, and not just any kind of murder but murder of a fellow royal knight by torture, stand in the same room as her and tried to reasonwith her for a crime he was clearly guilty of?

"Please listen to me…I didn't want to-" Felix tried to continue, but he could feel the overwhelming aura of wrath that was coming from the sword demon. It was so strong it caused Felix to back up in fear a tad bit. If it wasn't for the sheer desperation of wanting to come back into Crusch's services, he might have ran out the door,ran as far away as he possibly could. Even then he might not even avoid the sword demon from cutting him down.

"Felix," Crusch said blankly, her voice a tad bit lower than it had been previously..

"Crusch-sama….I-I-I d-d-didn't know it was Subaru. It was all Gluttony, if he didn't wipe my memory." Felix stuttered, tears welling up his eyes as he took a glance at his lady's angry face. He began breathing heavily as his surroundings started to get blurry and murky with each word he spoke.

"FELIX!" Crusch screamed out this time.

"I-I- DIDN'T MEAN TO! It wasn't my fault, I didn't want to hurt Subaru-kun, gluttony made me do it. It was all because of him, he took your memories and Subaru's name and made me forget all about him. I-I-I, F-f" he began hyperventilating he knew things had taken a change for the worse. He cursed himself in his mind for not thinking it over and not listening to his heart but now it didn't matter. This was his final chance, if he didn't convince his lady now it would be over.

Felix without even giving himself time to breathe began a long rant In a final desperate attempt to convince his lady, with tears running down his eyes and a bit of snot down his nose.

but even so with some unknown force he pulled through and continued speaking.

"FERRIS ONLY WANTED TO HELP! FERRIS ONLY WANTED TO HELP LADY CRUSCH RECOVER HER NAME! If…it wasn't for gluttony everything would be ok, Ferris wouldn't have done that. It was all for you Crusch-sama, everything I do is for you. I only did it because I thought Subaru-kyun was an archbi-"

"ENOUGH!" Crusch this time screamed out with all her might, her words echoing throughout her entire room. Her presence at this moment was one that demanded respect and order, and it was so overwhelming.

, Along with her scorching rage, Felix could clearly see the grit in her teeth, a gloved hand hooked tightly to her desk. The face Crusch was making was one Felix had never seen before; her most hated enemy didn't receive such intense emotions like this. Her rage and anger was so expressent he would've sworn there was a demon of red surrounding her, whispering in her ears to unleash all her anger at him. At this moment Felix wanted to run. In fact, he was going to turn around and run, but in the corners of his eyes, he saw the sword demon Wilhelm Trias.

This time his sword was no longer in his sheath but out for the entire world to see. His eyes were hidden in darkness, and he didn't move an inch, yet Felix could see the overwhelming red aura that was bloodlust surrounding him.

A voice in his mind whispered silently, 'Take one step out that door before she finishes and you are dead.' Felix took a big gulp the size of his fear. He desperately looked around the room for a way to fix this situation. Normally, he would turn to lady Crusch who would be kind and understanding, but there was a problem: his lady was the one who was having such an intense disdain at him and he had no idea how to stop it.

"Cr-"

"SILENCE!" She cut him off, this single word she spoke sliced through the air like a finely neat sword, diving straight into Felix's heart.

"I was originally going to give you the privilege of staying here for the night but no. How dare you, Felix Argyle? How dare you stand in front of me and start spouting such nonsense! You did it all for me? You tortured and killed ONE OF OUR OWN ALLIES FOR ME?!" She asked her former knight, staring deeply into his eyes, no his very soul itself as she held on tightly to the bottom bar of her desk leaving a small unnoticeable crack in the process.

She trotted away from behind the table and began walking up to him slowly. Each step she took led her closer and closer to the healer who was paralyzed in fear. Though after she got right in front of his face, she remembered all the good times they had with one another. She could do the decency of calming down just a tad bit; she exhaled her rage into one deep breath before grabbing her former knight's face and forcing him to squirm in her arms as she made him look directly in her eyes.

"You tortured, and killed Natsuki Subaru for me? If it was for me, why did you go behind my back?! If it was for me, why did you not inform me of anything you were doing?! If it was for me, why wasn't I the first one to be notified of the capture of the cultist who could have possibly helped recover my memories?"

"B-bec"

"There is no because, Felix! The fact stands, you killed and tortured someone behind my back, someone who has saved our lives countless times as well as thousands others. Felix…you will NEVER be my knight again. Nor will you be of service to this kingdom any longer, I shall grant you one last act of mercy." Crusch spoke in a cold fury,squeezing the healers face with a vice grip

She tossed Felix onto the ground like the piece of disgusting trash he only thing the healer could do was barely keep himself up as he stared into his lady's amber eyes, the ones he used to look onto for comfort, but now the ones he looked at with uncontainable fear.

"For those words you should be cut down right where you stand but I will not. Hear me clearly,you shall be removed from my manor, your clothes have already been packed. Your knight's uniform will be burnt and turned into nothing but ashes as symbolism for the oath you have betrayed. Never again will you even wear something that even looks remotely close to that of a knight. If you even have a hint of honor you will do exactly as I said.. HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?!"

Felix couldn't speak when Crusch finished speaking …his mind was…broken. He couldn't believe it, did Crusch really say all those words? Did she truly say such hurtful things to her knight? Felix was too much in a state of shock to even breathe at this point. There was no way he heard all those things. Would his lady really say all of that to him of all people? Her friend and her knight, the person who had devoted his life to fulfilling her every wish and only had the best for her in mind.

Crusch could tell how broken Felix was; she could obviously tell from the way he was still visibly shaken after she was done speaking…but she didn't care anymore.

Why should she? She had no reason to care about the life of a murderer even if it was her former knight.. She sucked her teeth in annoyance at the healer before her and turned her gaze to Wilhelm. The man was still visibly and very understandably still angry, though yet he had seemed to calm down and had his hands behind his back, away from the sword he would have surely used to cut Felix in half with.'

"Mmm…Wilhelm, remove him from sight. Inform the maids, he leaves…as soon as possible," Crusch said sternly as she turned away from Felix with a small tsk.

"As you wish my lady." WIlhelm humbly bowed. Before grabbing Felix by the hair and tossing him out of the room like a rag doll. Not even taking the time or liberty to make sure that his former friend was ok, he watched the cat's face hit the carpet floor. All the dust and dirt from the carpet flew and drifted, settling onhis face and even more so his knight's outfit. Wilhelm gave him one last ruthless stare, this time not out of bloodlust but more so of a warning. Even without a word, Felix could tell the old man was telling him to never return, unless he wanted his guts to stain the walls.

As the doors closed lightly and made almost no noise, the sound of the doors getting shut was 10 times louder than Felix ever expected. The sounds of the door shutting in front of him nearly shattered his eardrums thanks to his heightened hearing focusing all on the door. The only thing he could do, as he watched with tears in his eyes, was lift his hand up in it's direction and begged. He begged for some way that his lady would change her mind, begged for a miracle that'd have her throw open the door and take his hand once more, begged for her to renounce those hurtful words and allow him to serve her. He wanted to see her elegant eyes and hear her voice, but not in such anger and disgust that she showed him just a few moments prior.

He promised himself on everything he held close and dear to his heart that moment he would never do something rash without his lady's permission again. He would make a vow to the dragon to never hurt another innocent soul without doing a proper investigation. He would gladly give up his soul and body to go back in time to gain another chance to free Subaru. Then, after all is said and done, he'd have a proper talk with his lady about how they can recover her memories. Not go behind her back and keep the trust he had long earned to still remain, that was what he wished. He prayed to Od for that to be the possibility given to him. He closed his eyes, tears falling out and staining the red carpet opened his eyes again and more tears slid from them

Felix didn't know what he expected when he begged Od to give him another chance. He didn't know why he expected to be by his lady's side when he opened his eyes. . A heap of memories pressed his eyes shut again. He saw it, clear, crisp, pristine, flooded with so much color that his tears became countless. He was back in his elegant blue dress, swept in idle chatter with Crusch. His lady would check up and make sure he was ok like she would always do… but those memories could've never become his present. When Felix's eyes crept open, he found himself still in the Crusch manor on the floor, still in his bloodied, dust and dirt covered uniform.

As he stared at the door, the events of what happened were still fresh in his mind. Felix began crying, alone with no one but himself to comfort him.

"Ferris is sorry, he's sorry. Please forgive me. I'm sorry Subaru, I'm sorry old man Wil. I'm sorry. Lady Crusch, please give me another chance," he choked out while pleading, his hand still high up, all his fingers stretched out in the air pointing at the direction of the door handle. He tried moving his legs, but an invisible force kept him on the ground preventing him from even clawing an inch closer to the door.

The voice in his mind that once comforted him and brought him up to this moment returned, this time not providing any kind of comfort but instead. It was now against him as well, screaming and belittling him for his own foolish actions. He could swear it was laughing with each and every little thing it was saying.

'Murderer'

'A healer that takes lives, how ironic.'

'You dishonor Lady Crusch, she's done the right thing by kicking you out of her sight. Your life is worthless anyway.''

'You enjoyed every second you tortured him, admit it. This wasn't about Lady Crusch this was all about Felix Argyle torturing a witch cultist because hearing the a scream of one was so enjoyable.'

"It's not true!" Felix screamed with all his might, slamming his fist onto the ground while shaking his head. The voice kept talking and talking, lies kept layering, and Felix mustered what leftover strength he had to block it out. He didn't enjoy hurting Subaru, he didn't. He was trying to get information for Lady Crusch, that was-all…

As the healer tried to deny what the voice was saying to him, his mind began flashing back to the times in the prison, showing him all the times he entered the dark prison cell of Subaru and how ruthlessly he was torturing him: burning his veins, placing mini mana bombs inside his body and watching as he struggled to breathed and begged Felix to set him free, that he's not his enemy. After hours of torturing the cultist, Felix would always give one last strike whether that be stabbing the arms, the legs or breaking his nose. He would leave the prison…feeling a strange sense of satisfaction and it enticed him knowing the cycle would continue once again.

Time and time and time again, Felix entered the prison, tortured Subaru who pleaded his innocence and repeated the toture process and the cycle just continued on and on. It was a constant loop with the only thing changing was the methods Felix implemented…and a smile on his lips. With each scream, with every plea for help coming from Subaru , there was a small grin on the healer's face, a small sadistic grin that only got bigger when he took a step in front of the shaking and bloodied body of Subaru who flinched in an attempt to get out of the way. The grin grew bigger and bigger with every visit, it grew bigger and bigger with every scream. It grew and grew as Felix's mind began flashing through months worth of toture until the grin wasn't even a grin anymore, but a sadistic smile, bright and wide for Subaru to see.

"Stop smiling," Felix said to his counterpoint in vain. He had no hands to move, and he had no body to move for if he did, he would've ran at his counterpart and slapped him with all his might. Alas he could do nothing but watch in third person, his counterpart in his memories walking up to Subaru with a large smile on his face as he slowly took out a dagger from his side.

The dagger secured in his hand was given to him by Lady Crusch in order to defend himself. Felix was never the greatest fighter. If it came down to it, if a fight between Subaru and him did happen and Subaru was not in such a weak state. Subaru would've kicked his teeth in quite easily and Felix would be on the receiving end begging to be freed. The dagger was shiny with the proud seal of the Karsten household at the very bottom of it, in the middle of that seal was a small green gem, shining in the eye of the healer.

This dagger wasn't meant to be used to take a life nor even be drenched in blood unless it was absolutely necessary…yet here Felix was,watching in horror as his counterpart began to twirl the knife around and stepped in front of the bruised, broken and barely breathing Subaru.

"You know, you could make this so much easier for Ferris if you only told me. I wouldn't have to do this. Ferris doesn't like using his delicate hands to hurt people, 's memory counterpart spoke, the smile on his face still clear for Subaru as he stood right in front of the boy chained to the wall. Holding the knife right up to his cheek, he delivered a small cut, allowing fresh blood of an innocent man to stain a knife meant for protection against dangerous foes.

"I don't know." Subaru's monotonous answer came. He was too tired and weak to say anything further. He grunted after he finished saying those three words, the pain of just speaking was too much. He could feel his life slowly slipping away with every attempt he made to form more words with his lips.

"Nyah that's just too bad. I guess Ferris will have to…succumb to drastic measures." Memory Felix spoke with nothing short of a mixture of disappointment and pure joy in his voice,lmost as if he was expecting and was pleased to hear the same result that came

"Please," Felix begged to himself in a whisper, watching with fear in his heart as he watched his counterpart lift up Subaru's bloodied and bruised hand and made it flat on the wall, forcing his fingers to stretch out and show each individually. He slowly brought the knife up and pressed it against Subaru's fingers.

'Please Subaru begged, tears slowly forming in his eyes, looking up at the feline healer as he struggled to move from his chains.

With one giant smile and a very afraid and shaking Subaru, Felix's counterpart pressed the knife further, and with one fell swoop, cut off two of his fingers. Subaru screamed bloody murder and thrashed his body about. Felix saw himself fiddle with the dagger, rubbing the seal tenderly with a light rising in his eyes. The glow, Felix could see, looked the same as his eyes did when he was spending time with Crusch alone: enjoyment. The glow spinning mad in his eyes at the blood and screams and torture was enjoyment.

"Stop, Stop!" Felix screamed at himself trying his best to break free from his memory so he wouldn't have to see any more false interpretations…. Wait but could they really be false if that Felix mimicked every word he spoke? Yes of course it had to be the case, He didn't smile when he was hurting Subaru. What his mind was showing had to be a lie. He didnt have a smile on his face, he had to look reluctant;a healer cant possibly enjoy torturing people. NO! That wasn't him! Even if it was…. It was for the greater good, he was wrong but he was trying to do the right thing.

"I didn't want to hurt Subaru!"

"I did it for Lady Crusch, I only wanted to help."

"I ONLY WANTED TO HELP!" Felix screamed out with all his might and just like that, he was free. He was no longer in his memory, he was back….still in front of the door. Sweat from different areas of his face had combined into a waterfall down his chin. His breathing had a disturbing rhythm to it that made him shiver. He had to catch a breath, he could at least control that. he caught himself, he felt judgemental eyes staring at him, causing him to turn his neck in the right direction, where he saw three servants…looking at him like he was a mad man….

He didn't say anything outloud did he?

…..

After that moment,

everything was going fast for the healer. It was almost as if time sped up all around him and his mind was too slow to process anything. Each time he blinked he felt like he was in a different location and time entirely. It didn't matter if he wasn't mentally prepared for it, the world simply didn't care how he was feeling at the moment and moved on.

Blink

He was sitting back in his room, the dust and dirt from the carpet floor still visible as he sat motionlessly on the last bed Subaru ever slept in. His mind was still trying to process what just happened a few moments prior. The only question he could ask himself was, 'did that just happen, does my lady truly never want me to be by her side again?Why was he smiling when he was hurting Subaru in his memories? It had to be a lie right, just a bad dream he was still living in and would wake up the second he closed his eyes. Everything would go back to normal.

Blink

Servants came into the room, their faces hidden from Felix's view as they simply dropped down bags of suitcases. Some of his clothes burst open on impact, yet none bothered to aid him in fixing it and just walked away. Some even purposely stepped on his clothes, getting black visible mud on his elegant girly clothing before walking away, leaving the broken healer to pick up the piece of clothes on the ground and put them back into his bag Normally, he would snap at such a rude attitude and scream out to the heavens that anyone acting like that doesn't deserve to serve such a fine, elegant, perfect person like his Lady Crusch Karsten.

But, he would be a hypocrite if he did, especially since she personally told him that he was no fit to serve her for the crimes he has done. So the only thing he did was stay silent and picked everything back up and placed them neatly back in his bag, trying his best to hide the tears building up in his eyes as he did.

Blink

He was in front of something bright, something hot, alone with no one around him. He heard faint crackles of ambers as he lifted his eyes up from the mossy grass floor. From what he could tell, he was in his lady's back yard in front of a campfire. The fire was shining bright and it's red flames seemed to be pointed straight up and piercing the night sky on top of him. The way the ambers danced around the flames almost put him in a trance. A trance he wouldn't break out of until the flames had truly died out.

The reason he had broken out of the entrancing dance of embers sparked by the campfire in front of him was because right in the middle of the flames he saw something white, pure white with spots of blood on it. It was submerged inside the fire, burning slowly piece by piece into nothing but black ashes that were slowly being scattered amongst the flames. The white uniform looked oddly familiar. It almost looked like, no, it looked exactly like his knight uniform he was wearing for what felt like a second ago.

In an instant Felix looked down and what he saw made him lose all breath in his lungs f. He wasn't wearing his beautiful white uniform with terrible dust and blood stains, he wasn't even wearing his usual blue dress. In fact, he was wearing something he never thought he would put in even as a joke. He was wearing a gray professional suit with white strips plastered nearly all over it. As Felix stood still in front of the flames with shock as to why he was wearing such clothing, his mind went back to the dreadful conversation he had with his lady a few seconds ago, at least to him.

He remembered each word that came out of Crusch's mouth when she made her declaration on what would happen to Felix, but his mind focused on one.

"Your knight's uniform will be burnt and turned into nothing but ashes as symbolism for the oath you have betrayed."

Slowly his gaze turned back towards the dancing ambers of the campfire and right in the middle, his knightly uniform was being turned into nothing but ashes. The second Felix truly noticed this, he had no time to stop what had just occurred. Even though it was too late, Felix sprinted towards the fire, tears flowing freely from his eyes as he lifted up his hands to somehow grab the last piece of meaning of his life from the endlessly hungry flame. Even if it was just the ashes, he needed something to remind him of what he was once so that he could pause and smile at good old times. however, it was already too late. Even the ashes of the uniform seemed to disappear amongst the flame, and all he could do was slumped down on his knees, eyes widened and dripping tears deep sowing into the green grass.

The last thing that symbolized him something more than a murder in the eyes of the world was now burnt to nothing but ashes, just like Crusch had stated would happen. He betrayed his oath to serve his kingdom with just intentions and save the lives of the weak and helpless by taking the life of an innocent young man. And now, he had nothing. He was a nobody. He was just Felix Argyle, a demi-human with an amazing healing ability but weak and powerless in any other aspects.

Blink

He was standing outside the Crusch manor now. There was no sun in the sky nor moon as the sky was covered by a dark blanket. The entire surrounding area around him was covered in darkness. The only light that's shining clearly was the light from candles and some magical glowing gems that lit up the Crusch manor behind him.

For the first time in a while, Felix felt scared. He stared into the darkness outside the Crusch manor. Everywhere his gaze landed on, it was nothing but a black void, nothing could be seen for miles besides the grass beneath his feet. He shivered at the thought of stepping out of the comfort of the mansion and back into the unknown with nothing but his healing ability and his wits… though his wits had not been proven to work when it came to a game of survival. Felix didn't want to go back there. He didn't want to go back to that state of being alone and wandering aimlessly to survive and see another day. He didn't want to go back to the state of being alone, without his lady and friends by his side.

The thought of being alone was overwhelming, so much in fact he actually took a step back instead of stepping forward like he originally intended. He didn't want to go into the darkness when the light was right behind him. A comfortable bed, people by his side even if they hated him, and lastly, light. He wanted to turn back, turn back and go back into the light and feel comfortable again. No…he didn't have to leave for tonight. Crusch is merciful afterall. She's kind and understanding and would surely give him another chance.

All he had to do was turn around, beg Crusch to stay one last time and everything would be jus-

Blink

He was a few feet from Crusch's manor now, walking in pitch black darkness with only the night tainted grass and the faint outline of white buildings in the background to guide him. He didn't know why, but his body wouldn't stop trembling as he kept putting one foot in front of the other. He used his left hand to rub his right arm up and down constantly to heat himself up, but it was not because of the cold in the air. The night breeze was comfortable, providing the perfect amount of cold that contrasted the heat of the day. To anyone else, this would be the perfect time to sleep under the stars, but for Felix, this had to be the worst time of his life.

He felt cold, very cold from everything that had happened so far. He shivered as he tried to remember what exactly happened a moment ago. One second, he was about to walk back inside the manor and the second he blinked, he was already yards away. Hauling his suitcase filled to the brim with clothes and his own personal belongings. The only question he could ask himself was, why was he here? His plan was simple: he would turn around, talk to Crusch, stay the night and leave so she wouldn't have to see his face ever again. It was simple and sure to work.

He didn't understand why he was walking in the dead of night. Wolves might come out of nowhere and devour him whole…or worse yet… . the Emilia camp could be lingering in the darkness to take their revenge, but he quickly shook the thought away. He tried to force his mind to remember what truly happened when he stepped through that golden light. The healer got his answer, but the answer was not one he expected. The more he tried to remember, the more his head ached with unfathomable pain, almost as if his pain was beating against his skull and was about to burst out into the open. The answer he so desperately wanted was nothing more than pictures flashing by like a ground dragon rushing through the city streets,

only allowing him to view for a second before it quickly passed on. The sight he saw made him tremble more than ever. Felix rubbed himself harder that the warmth created was turning into a blaze.. The things his mind showed him were quick flashes of faces and objects. He saw the face of his lady once again, disappointed, disgusted, and full of wrath. Her mouth was open and she was screaming something…he just didn't know what it was. However, he kinda didn't want to know. His mind shut these things out for a reason after all.

The next thing he saw was a shiny metal connected to a handle– a sword, how could he forget something so simple– gripped tightly in the hands of a butler with white gloves and white hair. Just like his lady, his face also held pure uncontained wrath, his hand stretched out in a grabbing motion,almost like he was going to grab Felix's face, all the while his sword was raised high in the air. The motion his hand was in seemed like the old butler was about to bring it down and take Felix's life.

Would Wilhelm try to kill him? No, of course not. There has to be some other explanation. Of course Wilhelm would never do that. He may have killed someone he considered a grandson, but Felix knew it was just a misunderstanding, it just had to be, but… the bloodlust he saw in the old man's eyes still shook him to the core. The look in the old man's eyes nearly matched the rage he felt when he came face to face with the white whale that took the life of the previous sword saint, and Wilhelm's wife; Theresia Van Astrea, the same rage he had for the white whale was directed at Felix and only Felix.

Whatever happened inside of the manor, should be kept inside of the manor. As much as Felix wanted to know the truth, and the real reason why he was walking alone in the middle night. Something in his chest already told him the answer, it was the same reason why his lady kicked him out in the first place. He said something foolish, something he should've just kept his mouth shut about. What were those words? He didn't know, he didn't want to find out, ignorance was bliss after all and with all that he experienced in just a single day. He needed that bliss to last as long as humanly possible or at least how long fate would allow it.

Everything that had happened so far completely drained his body of any energy it might've stored, and now Felix walked slower than ever as each step was more sluggish than the last. Even so, he pushed on forward. There was nothing he could do but keep walking step by step. The light of the Crusch manor got further and further until it was no longer able to be seen in the distance, and Felix found himself alone on the city streets of the capital.

The capital felt eerily quiet as Felix stood still and observed his surroundings, finding nothing but darkness and left over remnants of food, water, or even bits and pieces of hair and clothing on the floor, however after that there was nothing there. Even though Felix knew it was the middle of the night and everyone had retreated to their homes, it didn't make sense to him how oddly quiet it was. The capital of Lugunica was one of the places that had a majority of the world's population, then again, he had never been here this late at night before in his life; he would already be sleeping in his comfortable bed at this time. But, he knew there should have been a few stragglers, cats running around, small roaches crawling up and taking food from those left behind.

However there was nothing, just empty stalls with dust and dirt plastered all over them, almost looking like it had been forgotten. The only signs of life in the capital was the faintly emitted lights from the candles inside several glass windows of the city streets, and the occasional faint voices coming from inside the demi-human hearing allowed him the privilege of hearing bits of pieces of the conversations hidden behind closed doors, but none were of value. Most of it was just the citizens of Luginica saying good night to one another. All the citizens were either asleep or at the very least getting ready for bed at the moment and Felix needed to do the same. Taking one final look at the empty and dark streets around him, Felix continued to march forward, looking for a place to rest.

He's been in the capital several times throughout his life, he's played games, visited taverns, and so much more. To say he experienced all Lugunica had to offer was an understatement, but surprisingly enough he's never visited an inn before. For a healer who goes day to day, walking around the city and sometimes even visiting other countries, you would expect him to get his nights rest at some kind of Inn, but no he never did. The worst part is this is his first time actually looking for one.

He wandered throughout the capital for only ten minutes. His experience of walking around the capital streets so many times had paid off. Having a mental map imprinted in his mind allowed him to recognize buildings as checkpoints and avoid roads that led to nowhere. Felix stood in front of what he was looking for, a place where he could rest his head and get all his thoughts together. He finally found an inn, but it didn't look like an inn from an outsider's point of view, in fact an inn would be the last thing someone even expects it to be when they first lay eyes on it.

The Inn was small, very small, almost the size of a village hut one might have found at the edge of the forest. And the roof and structure of the inn besides the large green sign dangling on top of it were nearly identical to that of a hut. However what separated the inn from a village hut that small in both height and length. What the Inn lacked in height, it made for its ridiculous length. It's length nearly matched half of the black serpent, a great mabeast that nearly covered an entire forest with its body alone.

Felix stood in front of the Inn in silence for a few seconds, ruffling through his pockets until he felt a small bag made of fine silk. He shook the bag in his pockets and heard the satisfying clingling of metal against each other as it bounced up and down inside it. Felix didn't know how much he had in his pocket but from the sound, it was more than enough to live in the Inn for at least a few weeks without any worries. With that knowledge and a bit of confidence, Felix once again put one foot in front of the other and walked towards the inn door wide open and inviting him inside with its light.

"Hello, welcome to Generic Inn, my name is Generic and It is an honor to serve you today," a guttural voice said cheerfully. The greeting hit Felix before he even stepped inside the establishment and from one look, there didn't seem to be anybody around. When Felix fully entered the inn, he came across a man behind a dark brown counter. The man was large, and his broad shoulders perfectly fit his frame. The man had friendly emerald green eyes and a kind smile. Friendly. Kindness. Two things Felix hadn't received for a while now.

"Hello," Felix spoke back timidly as he stepped inside the building, slowly walking with his heavy bags in hand up to the innkeeper's desk. He kept his head down, not wanting to meet the gaze of anyone, not even at a random stranger at this point. He just wanted to be ignored, crossed out of existence.. How unfitting, especially someone who was once an esteemed knight. He needed to have pride in himself, lift his head up high and walk with confidence, but because of everything that had transpired so far, the confidence was left with nothing but an empty void that might never be refilled..

"Ahh, not even the best of days I assume?" The inn owner's tone quickly turned from cheerful to sympathetic as he noticed the body language and tone of voice of the healer before him.

"Yeah,I guess you could say that nyah."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"No…" Felix responded quietly, his cat ears going lower than it's ever been.

"I understand, not willing to talk to a stranger aren't ya.. Well, anything I could do for you?"

"F-... I would just like to stay for a few days, maybe a week," Felix answered as he gently dropped his bags to the semi-polished floor. He took out a small bag of coins from his pocket and placed it right in front of the innkeeper who silently inspected the bag. The bag was small but it was fat and filled to the brim with coins, so much in fact, many bits of pieces of the coins were sticking out from inside the bag.

"I see, well that will be…ten pieces of copper if you plan to stay an entire week."

"Ten pieces of copper? That's oddly cheap," Felix started with a raised eyebrow, looking at his coins His eyes widened in confusion as he couldn't for a single second comprehend that an inn would cost the equivalent of five appas, which was dirt cheap. That definitely couldn't be enough to describe the price of the inn. If Felix wanted too, he could go out on the streets and find ten pieces of copper in only a few seconds.

"It normally costs thirty silver per night, but because you seem so down on your luck, I don't want to do that to a man. For all-...nah never mind, I have a habit of unintentionally guessing things correctly."

"But, I have coins, more than enough to pay for the entire week so-" before Felix could decline any further, the man put his hand in front of his face, and Felix reluctantly shut his mouth. The innkeeper smiled, bent down over his desk for a moment, and took out a large scroll and a quilled pen freshly dipped in ink.

"Ten copper and that's final. You don't have to be so humble. Now,may I get your name for the record? I gotta keep track of everyone who comes to stay for the night," the innkeeper asked as he began writing down in the scroll.

"Felix…Argyle, '' the healer reluctantly answered, his hand once again turning towards his shoulders and began scratching and healing himself. The innkeeper was allowing him to stay dirt cheap out of pity… and he didn't like it one bit. He appreciated his kindness, but someone like him didn't deserve this kind of treatment. Not after what he's done…and not after being stripped down of anything that had any true meaning in his life.

"Felix Argyle, as in royal knight, the knight of Crusch Karsten, Felix Argyle?" The innkeeper stopped writing and looked back up at the healer. His eyes widened in shock and a large smile began to appear uncontrollably on his face, his hands shaking with excitement as he looked the healer up and down.

"Yes…." Felix muttered out an answer, trying his best to ignore the titles he once had and lost just this morning.

"It's an honor to finally meet you!" The man dropped all the materials he had gathered to whisk Felix's hands into his own Felix was taken aback by the sudden flip in behavior, his surprise split between his face and his hands that were swallowed by the man's huge hands. "I never got to say my thanks! I know you probably save hundreds of lives every single day, but amongst those hundreds, you saved one that's very dear to me," The innkeeper explained. It wasn't long for him to notice Felix's face and, in an instant, he released Felix's hands and recollected himself, steadying the shaky stand as he bent down once again to continue writing on the scroll.

Felix relaxed his face. "Oh?, it was nothing nya… Ferris likes helping people. I'm happy I was able to save the person you held close to your heart," the healer responded, his voice slightly louder than it was previously.

"I should have known the greatest healer in all the kingdom would be so humble." The innkeeper laughed, finished writing and closed his scroll, lacing it back under his desk along with the quill.

"I owe you my life, Felix Argyle. You saved the life of my wife when she was attacked by the vile witch cult in Priestella. Without you, I wouldn't be able to hold her in my arms. She was crying and…"

"Your wife nya?"

"You probably don't remember her, but she's the most gorgeous woman you'll ever see. She always carries around a broad sword and, she has an eyepatch. She has a ton of muscle on her body too!" The man went on and on, his smile grew wide, and a clear pink blush could be seen on his face as he thought about his beautiful wife.

"Sorry…." Felix began, his tone sounding a bit disappointed. "I don't remember who that is."

"Yeah." The innkeeper sighed, his smile faded for a few seconds, but it quickly reappeared on his face, almost as if it never left.

"Of course not. How can I expect you to remember one injured person amongst the sea of other injured people, even if it's the most beautiful person in the world. Well, it doesn't matter anyway, I don't want to take up too much of your valuable time. You came here for a room and your grateful Generic will gladly serve you." The innkeeper finished speaking, ending with disappointment, but he still had a smile on his face. Without saying another word, he turned from the healer and faced a wall of keys behind him that was first hidden by his large body. Felix turned his head slightly over the man and gazed at the wall. Each key was different, e sorted by the separate material they were made in. At the bottom was a row of bronze keys, several rows later, there were silver keys, and at the very top with only one row, there were ten golden keys that shone amongst the candle light.

The innkeeper walked up to his wall and grabbed the first golden key at the top row.

"I present to you the key to our finest rooms. Please stay free of charge for as long as you possibly may need." The innkeeper turned around and quickly walked back to Felix, bending down and stretching out his hands with the key in the middle of his palm.

This weird gesture and the words he spoke took Felix back a bit, confused as to what he just saw and what he just heard. Was this man really going to give him a key to the finest room?

"W-wait. Ferris can't. He has plenty of money. You don't have to go out of your way to–"

"Please, I owe you. You're the entire reason why I am happy and still have a loving wife. This is the least I could do." The owner lifted up his head slightly and met the healer's shocked and confused gaze, and stepped forward to bring the key closer to Felix.

At the response…the healer smiled a little bit. A weird sensation of warmth filled his heart hearing the man being thankful for his services, having kindness in his voice, and not seeing him as a murderer but a healer. For the first time in a while, Felix forgot everything at that moment: he forgot torturing Subaru, the interaction between him and Crusch, the bloodlust filled eyes of Wilhelm. Everything that was tearing apart his mind and very soul disappeared for a split moment. Someone was happy because of him. He made someone smile. While the sins and the consequences still plagued his mind, for a sliver of a moment, standing before this gregarious man, the foolish healer forgot the true reason he was in this situation.

"Well if you insist nya, thank you," the healer spoke, his accent once again reappearing in full force as he happily took the key from the inn keeper's hand. Staring at the finely melted gold that formed his key, a smile couldn't help but formi on his face at how easy it was to find a place to live , free of charge too. He could stay here however long he wanted.

"Thank you kindly, nya,"the healer told the innkeeper, delivering a small bow.

"No, thank you, Felix Argyle. You're a hero to me and my wife. Now, I recommend getting some rest. I'm about to close up in the next ten minutes."

"Will do, thank you," Felix said cheerfully to the innkeeper, clutching the key in his hand. He picked up the bags with his clothes and walked past the innkeeper into the main area of the inn, waving goodbye with a little pep in his step.

The inn inside was directly how it was on the outside. Past the innkeeper's desk, there were no stairs leading up, just a straight narrow hallway with doors hanging off on the side leading to many different rooms. Felix turned his head to the right, turning to a brown door with a plate number of 1. He then turned his head to the left and was met with another brown door with a plate number of 2. He then turned back to the long hallway and stared at the finely made golden key in his hands with the number 267 etched in all black. Looking at the key, Felix exhaled all the air in his lungs into one massive sigh and began walking down the hallway.

Five minutes. Felix has been walking for a total of five minutes straight and just now managed to reach a checkpoint doors 100 and 101. He was finally almost there. Sweat was dripping from his brow as he forced his sore arms to keep on holding his heavy bags filled with what belongs to him. The only thought Felix had in his mind with every step he took was that the room better amaze him since it was the best such as the innkeeper described. He was sweating his everything off to reach room for Od sakes, and even if it's not…Felix wouldn't complain. The innkeeper did, after all, offer him this room for dirt cheap when he just met him, and completely free when he revealed who he truly was.

It's been a few minutes, but he still remembered the innkeeper. If it just happened right this second, he still remembered the smile he had on his face when it told his name. The happiness and the thankful look in his eyes as he talked about how Felix saved the life of his wife and protected his happiness made him feel the same way towards the innkeeper. The interaction between him and the innkeeper had been engraved in Felix's heart. His mind reminisced that short moment over and over to the point where he couldn't help but smile. He helped someone. Even though he didn't know it at the time, his healing ability, his own two hands had helped save the lives of someone. Felix was a healer, it was his job after all to heal the weak and innocent, and he did just that. That fact alone made him smile wider than he did before.

It took Felix another five minutes, walking past literally hundreds of doors until he finally stopped at the one he was looking for. Number 267 stood at the very end of the long hallway. It's door was wooden, but the color painted on top looked like shining solid gold. For a second, it even had Felix fooled until he actually touched it's handle, which left him a little disappointed, but it didn't matter. A gold door would be too heavy for any normal citizen or rich noble to even open.

Felix took out his key, put it in the lock, and twisted it until he heard a satisfying click noise. Felix paused for a moment, standing outside the door as the reality of his situation finally began to dig deep. . For the next week or so, hell , maybe a year, whatever was inside that door was going to be his home and his alone. No more maids to wake him up and prepare him. No more Wilhelm to greet him as he walked passed the hallways, and no more standing by Crusch's side,, cheering her on during friendly spars with Wilhelm. Just never seeing again with security and comfort that fact pained his heart more than anything else in this world. Felix was once again alone.

Why was he even thinking about this? He's been alone before, he survived, he could do it again. He wasn't a knight at birth, he didn't first meet Crusch the second he first learned how to speak. Yet… she was the one who saved him, the one who sheltered him. She was the one who gave him friends and a proper family, and he repaid her with a murder that will ruin her reputation and a broken alliance.

He needed to stop thinking about Crusch. He needed to get inside, make a plan on how to continue living because that was all he could do: live.. Taking a deep breath, suppressing his wrongs with a shaky heart,. Felix opened the door to his new home.

He was blinded by the light of gems for a few seconds before his vision quickly recovered and was met with a sight that shocked him to the core. The room he was in was massive and shiney competing with that of actual royalty. Everywhere he turned shine with gold as a golden light from the ceiling shined upon everything on the floor. The brown floor underneath him was so glossy he could see his own reflection.. Cabinets, desk, a closet, even a bowl of fruits and vegetables on a table was right in front of him to see and it nearly made him giddy with excitement.

However, what caught Felix's eye was not the gold like furniture, the cleanest of the room, nor was it the fact he got it for free. What took Felix's eye was the bed in the back pointing towards the middle of the room. It wasn't a regular bed but a king size bed, big enough to fit four fully grown men with no issues. Since Felix's body was the equivalent of a below average girl, to him, the bed was like a sea of foam made of silk and comfort for him…maybe… just maybe, life wouldn't be as bad as he expected all thanks to one man's kindness.

"This…won't be so bad," Felix muttered with a smile, clutching the key given to him. The man gave him this great privilege and treated him with kindness when his own lady turned his back on him. It was because of his kindness that Felix was smiling and not crying alone in a two silver coin inn with roaches. However, Felix didn't forget why the man did this for him. He saved his wife's life, but … the innkeeper didn't know the truth. He didn't know the real reason why Felix was here nor did even ask why he wasn't sleeping back in the manor with his lady.

What if he found out? What if he found out Felix was nothing but a murder? Would he take back every kind word he said and replace it with venom and hate…just like his lady did to him when he tried to explain everything. Maybe that was a possibility, but he didn't know yet nor would he ever know. Felix couldn't allow this second chance to slip from his fingers. He won't….he didn't want to be alone with no one backing him up in his corner.

Shaking those thoughts away, Felix placed his bags on the ground and began unpacking. He removed every clothes and personal possessions, grabbing each girly dress and suit he had and placing them in the closet. . He separated them by color, how much he used them, and overall what just looked good on him on a moment's notice. He did the same with his shoes, placing those of matching color or what mixed well underneath each and every dress. Lastly after filling the closet with his clothing, Felix grabbed only one item away from the bag and stared at it.

Felix didn't have a lot of items that he truly cared about. He had plenty of clothes andsome jewelry, but none of it mattered. What mattered was the item in his hand. The dagger he held dearly in his hand and in his heart was freshly cleaned, but reeked of dried blood even when concealed with a sheath. At the bottle of the dagger held a symbol of a lion baring his fangs and letting out a fierce roar. To be honest, in all his time, he never used this knife. He never stabbed an enemy and he never blocked a blade with it. He never used it on an enemy.

In one blink, Felix can feel his mind flashback to falling fingers, severed toes, steep gashes on flesh, and the screams of a man he knew as Natsuki Subaru.

Felix's jaw clenched, nevertheless, he unsheathed the dagger. The blade was relatively clean aside from a few red stains. The stains made Felix shiver. . He knew whose blood stains those were, he just wouldn't admit it. He shook the very thought of him using the knife to hurt anyone and promptly put the knife back in his sheath and placed it on his counter.

He would need to clean it later.. Life alone will get dangerous, and he might have to use it one day, for self defense of course. Nothing else, nothing more, like he's always had, like he always will.

'Ferris needs a plan, Ferris needs a job. He can't be a burden to the innkeeper. Ferris can't stay here forever.' He needed a plan if he wanted to continue living a comfortable or decent life. He took out a small quill, ink, and a single white sheet of paper and moved them all to a desk at the back of the room. He dipped the quill gently inside the ink bottle and placed it over the paper, and brought it down, but that was the only motion his hand did. It paused in midair, the ink of the quill dripping down upon the paper, making a small splash and noise as each second passed by.

His original plan was to write down potential jobs he could get, but what could he do? Physical labor? Out of the question, he was weak, weaker than anyone in this country. A ten year old held more potential and strength than he could ever have in his entire life. He could be a teacher, he met the requirements. He was knowledgeable and could teach biology. Only problem would be the unruly kids that surely would come to bother him, but that was fine. He loved kids. Now, the only problem would be finding a school that would accept him. He wrote down on the paper just that: a teacher teaching kids about the human body, how it works, and how to save it. Who knows, maybe if he becomes a good enough teacher, some might want to be medics just like him. Speaking of medics, that was his next idea. He could be a healer again, but this time for the common folks.

He smiled at the thought of him walking around, healing people from injuries they might have suffered through random bar fights, the thankfulness in their eyes as he makes sure they're all better. He smiled knowing his healing ability could be used more outside of life-threatening battles, nobles, or guests who come in crtical conditions. It would be a simple but calming life….but that wouldn't work.

He still remembered the words of his lady, the anger in her eyes as she declared he would never serve this country again. With his healing ability, if he decided to follow that path, he would be famous rather quickly, and that fame would get attention, and the rumor of a mysterious cat healer that can seemingly bring people back from near death f would reach the ear of a certain duchess.

Felix shivered at the thought of facing his lady once again. her amber eyes glowing with rage as she screamed at him for ignoring her orders. Screaming at him for daring to use his healing ability to gain fame and wealth, so that he could continue on living in comfort after what he's done to Subaru. He didn't want that to happen. He never wanted to see the anger in her eyes again,even if that meant never being able to use his healing ability.

"I.. can't disobey lady Crusch anymore, '' the healer whispered under his breath, looking down at the white paper in front of him. There were two options instead of one: get money from being a teacher or thrive off the streets as a healer. With no hesitation, he crossed out the second option before proceeding to go back to the drawing board.

Felix spent twenty minutes trying to think of other options for work, but he had nothing he could think of. Any job that required physical activity was impossible, any job requiring expertise outside of healing was going to be difficult. He did have the education to do some jobs, but overall, he couldn't think of anything he would be typically good at. That frustrated him beyond anything else. Other than his one gift, he had nothing else to offer. He was weak, powerless, and the sheet of paper that had all his options crossed out, aside from the very first one, showed it.

The frustration turned into fatigue as tiredness finally began taking over the healer's body. As much as Felix wanted to keep writing, to keep thinking how he was going to move forward, he needed to sleep. The glowing crystals in the room had begun to dim, which made his fatigue greater than it previously was, made too clear by his loud yawn and long stretch. as

For now, he needed to rest, recover mentally, and then he could think without the burden of what happened prior. He walked to his bed. The second he reached his bed and layed down, a wave of fatigue hit his body, and one blink threw him into deep slumber without any trouble.

The next time Felix opened his eyes, he was blinded by a warm golden light. The light wasn't that of the crystals that lit up the nn he was just staying in because the glow didn't have any type of warmth. No, the light was…a natural one that could only come from the sun but that can't be the case. Felix's room in the nn didn't have any windows, that was the reason why there were so many crystals.

However, as Felix stood up straight from his bed, rubbing his eyes and regaining his vision, his breath hitched. He looked around his surroundings. To the left of him was a window leading outside to a familiar courtyard with a green flag waving amongst the wind at the edge. Not only that, but Felix was in a room. The room was blue, finely decorated, and this room…belonged to him. It had to be; his room had the largest window in the manor that faced the courtyard. He loved the courtyard the most. It was the reason why Crusch customized it for him to have the best view.

That could only mean he was back at the Karsten household, Crusch's manor.

That was the only reasonable solution, but It made no sense. His lady had kicked him out, disowned him, even said that she never wanted to-

"Felix." The healer stopped in thought. A dark presence emerged, standing right in front of him. The presence wasn't only dark, but had an aura of wrath, bloodlust, a demon looming over him with a keen eye. .

Slowly, with trembling hands and his chattering teeth, Felix forced his eyes to look forward, and what he saw shocked him. He met the dark gaze of the Sword Demon. He had his right hand to his sheath and moved it up just a little bit. That little move caused Felix's heart to beat rapidly, forcing him to shimmy to the back of his bed, but that didn't get him far. The Sword Demon was right on top of him, he could already see it now,Wilhelm unsheathing his sword and cutting him right in half for revenge.

"Are you all right sir Felix," Wilhelm asked. Felix nearly gasped. His tone wasn't filled with any amount of wrath or bloodlust. No, his tone was sympathetic, almost caring and the look in the old veteran's eyes wasn't filled with hate as he last saw them, but with concern and care. And just like that, the dark presence Felix felt was gone, however, he didn't understand why that was.

"Yes…I'm ok….old man Wil," The healer reluctantly answered, looking around his surroundings for a moment trying to find a quick exit. Felix couldn't rule out that Wilheim's kind act may be a ruse for him to drop his guard. Then again, there was no escaping Wilhelm. Even if Felix jumped out the window, the Sword Demon would still be able to catch him. For now, Felix needed to continue the conversation.

"Where am I?"

"You have returned to the Crusch manor at the request of Crusch-sama," the old man answered, removing his hand from his side to make the worried Felix feel more at ease.

"Lady…Crusch." Felix lowered his head. "But she said she never wanted to see me again. So, why am I here?"

Wilheim nodded and shut his eyes slowly. "Yes, that was the case. However, soon after you left, she felt guilty at the words she spoke to you."

"But she was right… I killed Subaru…."

"Yes… an unforgivable act. However, we were all overcome with emotions to not listen fully to your side. Allow me to be the first for my unruly act inside the manor. It is a shame as a butler to let my emotions take control of me." Wilheim bowed deeply.

"It's….ok old man Will. I understand why you are angry…I would have been angry at me too. If…anyone did what I did to Subaru to la-" Felix didn't know why but as he was about to once again say the name of his lady. Her name caught in his throat, choking him, suffocating him as he desperately tried to spit it out.

Why was that? He had said her name so many times even when he was dishonored and banished from her presence. He could always call her by her name, he would always remember it with such fondness so why. Why now of all times, why was now the moment he couldn't say his lady's name. Maybe it was because he didn't have the right to call her Crusch or his lady more…or maybe.

When he said his sentence featuring Subaru's name, her name was almost impossible to say. There was an overwhelming surge of regret coursing through his body. That regret followed up with twisted images of what he had done, the things he said, the smile on his face each and every single day he entered the cell. Each and every time he had a smile brighter than the sun itself whenever Subaru didn't give him the answer he wanted.

Yet now, he was comparing what he had done to what if someone did the same to Lady Crusch? His body trembled with shame at his own hypocrisy… that moment Felix knew. If he never met Crusch and the same thing happened to her as Subaru., than even without her influence he woul-

"Sir Felix, are you ok?" Wilhelm asked worryingly, touching the healer's shoulder. Felix took a second to breathe. Afterwards, he swallowed whatever words he would've said next and replaced it with new and easy ones able to escape his throat.

"Y-yes I'm fine. I just need to get my head straight… So much happened yesterday. It felt like a dream, one terrible, terrible dream."

"I see…" Wilheim straightened his back. " Did you feel like that dream was deserved?"

"No-Yes…Ferris is just filled with regret, everything. Ferris wishes he could undo it all." The healer, once finished, lets out a loud sigh, looking away from the demon swordsman and staring down at the blue silk sheet in front of him. He found himself too tired to even stare up and look straight anymore. He just wanted to return to bed and rest his mind even more.

"The past can't be changed, however that doesn't mean you can't redeem it. Now come, get out of bed. Crusch-sama would like to meet you. As I said before, she is willing to give you one last chance to explain what you have done."

With a simple nod, Wilhelm did not say another word, and he turned and walked out the door. His footsteps were light and left no noise, allowing Felix to be at peace with his own thoughts once again.

His mind was screaming at him.

Not screaming at him for the guilt of what he's done, not screaming with the words of his lady that disowned him, but it was screaming with joy.

'Lady Crusch…is giving me the chance to explain. I have another chance, I can make it up to her!' Felix's smile grew wider, practically jumping out of bed ready to run after Wilhelm. Thank Od, thank Od he had another chance, thank Od that he can get his life back.

He knew it was in the heat of the moment. Just like Wilhelm, she probably lost control of her emotion, he knew his lady wasn't perfect. However, for him to return to her services once more, he had to be perfect. He needed to be Felix Argyle, a humble healer who'd done terrible things, but wanted to make up for it , no he didn't want to make up for it he had to, and that's exactly what he was going to do.

As the old man walked out of the door Felix was so ready to run out and immediately run towards his lady's office. Something stopped him as he reached the door, he didn't know what but his heart was telling him something and it was that through a rympth. For the past few times Felix had been ignoring his heart and everytime he did it had proven to be right every single time. Each time Felix ignored the only thing telling him the truth and not blinded by illusion, everything seemed to turn for the worst.

Felix right then and there stopped at the moment, staring in front of the open door of his room. He stared out of the hallway and the light shinning from the windows for a few seconds. Thinking about just how close his lady was, after all this wasn't Subaru's room as last time. His room was far closer to lady Crusch's just a few stops and he would be there, he wanted to take a step out yet his heart was racing again, making him feel uneasy. Usually, like all the other times he would ignore his heart and do what his mind sets out to do but this time, he just closed his eyes.

'I'm sorry for doubting you.' Felix thought to himself, slowly he placed his left hand on his chest listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart strings, waiting for his heart to speak to him once more. This time he would not ignore, he would not let his mind create false happiness and hope, he would listen to the true thing in his body that had his best interest in mind.

And what his heart was telling him now….was to prepare. Prepare for when he would see his lady for it would be the only and last

Felix took advantage of the time he had alone, but not too much. Three minutes was all he needed and three minutes was all he took. He took three minutes to pace around his room, and gather his thoughts. He thought about everything, everything he did wrong when he first arrived at his lady's office. He came off desperate, weak, pathetic, with no sense of honor and blamed Gluttony for his crimes when he's equally as guilty as the archbishop he hated so much.

He needed to remove all that, for it was all those things that ruined his relationship with his lady, it was the reason why she was so angry with him afterallo he didn't take responsibility. He needed to fix that, he just needed to come out, be truthful and explain what truly happened. Then only then would he gain the trust of his lady once again, strengthening his resolve to an all time high. Felix walked towards the door in his room and opened it ready to once more walk to his lady, however the second he did that and blinked. Felix found himself in front of his door once again. It was ironic how history repeated itself, but this time, it would be a different outcome, Felix would make sure of it.

He stopped breathing for a few seconds, gathered each and every single thought in his mind, and reworded them to be perfect. He took a deep breath and walked through the door towards Crusch office. Nothing was going to stop him. His eyes were only straight forward towards his goal. Several servants saw him pass by, and he could still feel their judgemental glares, the same ones he felt when he was kicked out but this time with shock as to wondering why he had returned.

He paid them no mind and kept moving matter what, he would see this through to the end. Again, the healer blinked and he was already in front of her door, a door he once found big, scary, one that towered over him, but now with this untold new confidence, the door was just a normal door.

He stepped forward and delivered three quiet knocks…and waited.

"Come in." He heard a familiar voice call out. For a second, his entire body seemed to freeze as he opened the door, and the sight that greeted him was nearly breathtaking.

Behind the door with the sun shining behind her window, the golden chain on her military outfit shining as she stood up from her desk, she stared at Felix up and down for a moment, and at first, Felix felt his heart racing with fear. His body's natural instinct to run and hide came back in full effect. It suddenly turned off as Felix noticed the gaze in his lady's eyes.

It wasn't the same disgusted, anger filled eyes as the time in the manor, butt was commanding and caring. The one she used to give him, the one he remember all too fondly

"Welcome back Felix," she spoke calmly. Her voice was almost quiet, but Felix heard every single word.

"Please have a seat," she continued, gesturing towards the seat in front of her desk as she began to sit down. once more lightly tapping as on her desk, as she watched Felix immediately obeyed her command and sat down politely.

"Do you know why I have called you?"

"Yes," Felix answered. There was no hesitation, no fear, just a clear cut answer.

"Very well, I have… been rash and allowed my emotions to get the better of me. I did not let you properly explain your side," she explained, while giving Felix a look he hasn't seen in a long time, a face he only saw after a loved one died. She looked at Felix with nothing but clear regret in her eyes. Her hands were shaking, but she tried her best to hide it from Felix…and failed.

"No… it's not your fault Lady Crusch… it's mine all mine…I've done something unforgivable and I understand the way you reacted, but please know I did it all for a reason."

"..."

Crusch said nothing, but nodded. She leaned slightly forward and placed both of her arms on the table, waiting patiently and with opened ears for Felix to speak.

At the sight of his lady's stance and silence, Felix's heart began racing and beating like a drum so loudly it was the only thing he could hear. With one final deep breath, looking straight at her with nothing but regret and shame, the healer finally began to speak.

"Ferris wanted to help. Ferris means it when he says he wanted to help. I… didn't remember Subaru because of Gluttony, but I should've done better. I was so focused on getting your memories back from a cultist, I lost sight of what's truly important for me and went behind your back. Fe-...I, Felix Argyle, am very sorry and will accept any punishment you throw my way."

Felix in a low, calm, and somber whisper exhaled all the words from his mouth to speak to his lady. He felt her judging every word from the comfort of her seat, unmoving, but it didn't deter him from looking her straight in the eyes. For what felt like an eternity, there was nothing but silence, no noise from the outside, no sudden movements, not even the wind could be heard. The entire Crusch manor was perfectly still, when all of a sudden, the green haired duchess stood up from her seat and slowly began walking up to Felix.

Her footsteps were quiet as it hit the floor. He trembled as several thoughts ran through his mind in only seconds. Did he mess up? Was history really going to repeat itself? Was he going to get banished once again? His question was going to get answered in only a second as Crusch was already standing above him. Her presence alone forced him to look at her amber colored eyes.

The two stared at each other, for 5 seconds, 5 seconds that felt like 5 years for Felix, stuck in an otherworldly silence. That silence soon broke as Crusch parted her lips, and began speaking.

"I see…I understand." Crusch paused for a second, Felix noticed, in thought."Felix, I only have one thing to say to you." Crusch kept her stare on the healer.

Her gaze,while kind as he remembered, shook him to the core. He had to put one hand on top of the other to keep it from shaking. This was it, the decision that was going to determine the rest of his life….he was ready for the worst. He could already imagine her repeating the exact words she uttered to him the first time they had this conversation right at his moment.

History was surely going to repeat….is that he thought when all of all sudden the duchess dropped to her knees and met the healer's height and eyes. She stared for a few seconds before wrapping her hands around his body,pushing him closer to her. He could feel the softness of her skin on his own, her warmth transferring through his entire body and giving him nothing but comfort.

The healer was shocked by this sudden moment, he was too shocked to speak, yet his body still moved on his own. He tightened his grip around the green-haired duchess, not wanting to let go for anything, even for the world.

"What you've done is unforgivable…but the reason you've done it,now hearing it…it's almost noble. You really went out your way for me, and I thank you for that." She buried Felix deeper into her hug.

"I'm sorry. Your sacrifice, though in vain, won't be taken for granted. I need you in my services once more, Felix Argyle. There are few men who can match you in loyalty,"

For the first time in his entire career as a healer, he never heard her speak this way. Her voice was quivering, he could feel the tears dripping from her eyes and onto his shirt. He couldn't believe it… did this mean his lady finally forgave him?

"Lady Crusch? Does this mean…?" Felix asked, holding his breath.

"Yes…you can return to my service as a knight, but you must know, the sage council will not forgive this. The least I can do is keep you as my knight." Hearing those words come out of his mistress' mouth made him happy beyond relief. All the worries, the guilt, they were all erased at that very moment as Felix held his lady tighter than she held him.

"As long as I can be with you Lady Crusch, even if I have to pick up trash for the rest of my life, your lovely Ferris will be happy," he proclaimed proudly. He wasn't ashamed of anyone accidentally hearing them. He knew some might be opposed to this decision, but he didn't care. With Crusch by his side, he could take on the world once more. Felix Argyle was the valkyrie's one and only knight, and he didn't need any other title.

"That's my knight, now le-"

BANG BANG BANG

Felix's head rang as he heard a loud banging noise, and he slowly began opening his eyes. There was no sunlight; the room was pitch black. He could barely even see his own bed, but even so, he powered through and got up. He slapped himself awake and began looking around whatever room he was in for where the sound was coming from. Who would dare interrupt his happy reunion with Lady Crusch?

Wait a second, where was he?

This wasn't the Karsten manor. This wasn't his bed. He was just talking to Lady Crusch a few seconds ago, and it wasn't pitch black. They had just made up, he was a knight again, and he could stand by her side. She had just forgiven him.

Felix was not dumb. As much as he does foolish things, and his emotions have too often gotten the better of him, his mind was always analytical, able to instantly take in the information around him, and using context clues he could digest them without ease. But even so, the reality of the situation was too hard for him to bear.

He looked around the room, now fully adjusted to the darkness ,he looked to the left at a nearby wall. There were no windows, just wood and on the wall, no blue coloring or miscellaneous decorations that he found bed, while a wonderful size truly fit for a king, it wasn't quite his taste.

This room was not Felix's room…this room looked almos- no exactly identical to the room the innkeeper gave him, but that couldn't be the case. He was with his lady.

No, this had to be a joke, it just had to be. Was everything he just saw a dream? Was the hug he got from Crusch really nothing? He dropped onto his knees as he finally figured out where exactly he was, tears began building up as he once again heard banging noises coming from outside his doors, this time louder and faster. Why was he back here? Why wasn't he with Lady Crusch? It didn't make sense, it just didn't make sense at all.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up," he mumbled to himself over and over, again covering his ears to not allow any noise to let in. Over and over he repeated the same two words, and begged Od to take him back, take him back to where Crusch was, where his lady forgave him and brought him back underneath her wing. Take him back to when he was truly happy and not this prison of despair.

He kept his eyes closed till the trapped tears in his eyes were too damped for him to hold back. He slowly began to open them, the tears spilling out like a waterfall staining the clothes he had on. Once his eyes opened he begged to see sunlight, he begged to see windows, he begged to see him by his lady's side wondering if he woke up from a terrible dream. Yet all he found was the darkness was still there. No sunlight, no blue room, and no blue bed,just a dark room. Nothing else, except for him and silence.

Everything was a dream, this was his reality, a reality he could not escape from.

BANG BANG BANG

The loud banging on his door appeared again ,this time louder than ever, and once it quieted, he heard a small cough before a voice from the otherside.

"Felix Argyle, this is the Royal Knights. We demand you to open the door. Should you fail to comply, in the next twenty seconds, we will break the door down with no hesitation."

Nothing.

Felix said nothing, could do nothing, could move nothing. He still couldn't believe the situation he was in. He heard the voice calling out beyond the door, but there was no strength in his body that allowed him to move. He tried to speak, but his mouth could form nothing.

"We know you are inside, open the door immediately, or we will force the door open. You have ten more seconds."

"..."

Still nothing. Felix was still in a daze of confusion to speak let alone comprehend what the knight behind his door truly had said.

Just as promised, after ten seconds of silence, the golden door leading into Felix's room was knocked out from its place. The door barely missed Felix , landing on the floor right besides him and shattered into millions of pieces, the only signs that it was once a door was the golden splinters all around himNo matter how flimsy the door was, Felix had found some comfort in it, a shield from all the troubles he knew he would have to endure. Without the door, Felix felt blindsided and as he heard heavy footsteps from outside the room coming towards him, the urge to run, to get far away from this place pressed him beyond his body, reaching his soul.

However, he felt his hands getting grabbed and tightened into place as he was plucked off the ground.

Felix blinked. He was no longer blinded nor staring at the ground as he was previously. Instead, the moment he looked up, he was greeted with figures in white noble outfits…an outfit he used to wear just a few hours prior. Outfits that meant protection, outfits that,once seen, would make anyone feel safe and protected, the standard beautiful outfits of the royal knights.

There were ten , possibly twenty, royal knights in front of him. Half had their swords up just in case the healer dared to try anything funny. Though it was unneeded, if the healer even attempted to run, the two forces holding him up were more than capable of bringing him down.

Even if he did try to run, his mental state wasn't intact for him to do anything.

"Cuff him immediately, we don't have time to waste," the voice from the other side of the door called out, except, the voice was in front ofFelix. The voice now sounded clear., The voice belonged to a tall muscular orange-haired man who was obviously the one in charge of this operation. Felix felt a feeling similar to sadness, but to him, that was too neat of a word. He couldn't believe they found him so fast. He knew he would have to come face to face with the royal knights, but today? Not a week? Not even allowing him to dream and stay in a world where his lady forgave him?

Fate's cruelty had no limits.

Without another word, the two royal knights behind him instantly took out a heavy duty metal lock, one meant to ensure even the most skillful swordsman or masterful mages couldn't move their muscles.

Once those cuffs were slapped on Felix's hand and locked with a golden key, the two behind him held him up straight to face the orange-haired captain.

"Felix Arygle, you have been charged for the murder of Natsuki Subaru. We will be taking you into custody for the time being. You shall be put on trial, and your fate shall be decided by the sage council."

The healer simply nodded, not saying a word, too tired, too mentally drained, too weak to say or do anything else.

At his quiet response, the captain simply nodded and turned around, using a small hand gesture to signal to his men to follow. With a confident step in front of the other, the captain walked out the door. Felix followed shortly after, once given a large push by one of the two knights behind him. He nearly tripped on the floor, yet thankfully, he kept his balance

The walk outside the inn was mostly quiet until one of the royal knights opened their mouths and began voicing his own opinions on the situation..

"I always told you these demi-humans still have a grudge against us. Killing a knight, one who killed an archbishop at that, and you expect me to believe this wasn't planned," he said with nothing short of venom laced in his voice.

"We do not blame the entire race of demi-humans for the actions of one scum. We might as well condemn every human being in the world as well. Julius did the same thing."

"Oh please, Julius doing something like that of his own free will is unbelievable. There's something suspicious, and I bet my very soul, hell I'll even gamble with one of the seven witches themselves.."

"Watch your tongue, you never know when a witch could hear you. They can curse you beyond the grave."

"A mere tale."

"Every tale has a truth to it."

"Whatever,let's just take him to prison. I don't want more of them to come out and torture us as bad as the cat did to Sir Natsuki."

"Agreed, but once again, don't compare the crimes of one to an entire race. Now, keep on walking, we have a long night ahead of us."

Unknown to the knights, they escorted Felix to where he would truly be staying for the night. The healer was close to them, hearing every word they said thanks to his super hearing. He paid them no attention, for he was still trapped, trapped in his own mind, trapped in the temporary happiness that he had. The fancy room, the kindness of the innkeeper, and the dream of a false reality where he was once again by his lady's side. These memories were the only thing allowing him to walk forward, yet they did little to ease the pain in his heart and mind.

The only thing the healer could ask himself was why…why…why was he so foolish to trust the words of the great spirit. Why did he torture an innocent young man. Why did he ruin his own life?

At that point, the healer didn't know himself anymore and the uncertainty of it all led his mind to descend slowly into madness.

---

Hahaha. Ok I enjoyed making Felix's life hell…a little to much than I originally liked. I may have gotten a little carried away with it, maybe some of the characters with OCC but…I hope you enjoyed the chapter nonetheless. Now… the set up has been complete. Juluis and Felix have reflected and now must face their actions in the court of law.

The trial of Juluis Juukulius and Felix Arygle will begin….chapter 7 haha. Sorry sorry. But as much as writing suffering is fun and all I think we all need a break from it right? I already swore every 2 chapters will be Subaru chilling in the after life and it would be great to see what he's doing while everyone else is crying.

anyway. Thank you for reading the story, I hope you like it and dont be afraid to give me your thoughts on it.

For now… i'll see you in chapter 6.

(Side note: Might also take a break on working on forsaken for a while to work on my other fics.)