A/N: I've never written any Firefly fan fiction before, yet have recently felt compelled to write little one shot drabbles. This particular one takes place immediately after River rips off the labels to some of the canned foods in "Shindig."

"You could try being a little more sensitive to our situation …"

"Sensitive? Situation? I'm sorry, have we met?"

The doctor pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Jayne, I know this is hard for you to understand -"

"I understand plenty," he spat in reply. "It's pretty noble what ye've done for your sister, that much I'll say. But as far as I understand it, you and your sister have been makin' life tough on the rest of us."

Simon sighed. He did, after all, have a point. "I apologize for that. And I'm grateful for what you've all done, but -"

"Good." A quick sneer tugged at the corner of Jayne's lips. "Then you understand why I ain't too … sensitive to your situation."

The doctor's mouth flapped wordlessly for a few moments. All he had wanted was for Jayne to comprehend that not everything River did was harmful. He had tried to accomplish a goal of explaining to him that it was possible to get along with River. Even if she was, in the simplest of terms, sick. It was clear, though, that the good doctor would not be getting through to Jayne. Not that night. Without bothering to say anything further, Simon removed himself from the kitchen.

"She can't help it, you know. And Simon's doing all he can," Book said simply, taking only a moment to glance up from his scripture.

Jayne rolled his eyes. "Don't you start on me, preacher."

"Oh, I'm not starting on you." He stood and smiled genially, closing the scripture softly. "Just … try to look at it from Simon's point of view."

The soldier hunched his shoulders as he leaned onto the table. "If I looked at it from his point of view, I'd need a real snobby attitude and the clothes to boot."

Book narrowed his eyes at Jayne before leaving himself. "You really are too stubborn for your own good."

"There're worse things!" Jayne called after the shepherd. As soon as he was out of ear shot he sat back in the chair, idly shuffling the items from their previous card game between his fingers. "Too stubborn for my own good. I ain't stubborn. Just persistent is all."

As Jayne got up to put the cards away, he stopped short. Standing in the doorway of the kitchen was River, her head slightly tilted to one side. Harmless sometimes, maybe, but she was eerie as hell all the time. He shook his head a little as he moved toward the door. To think he'd let a little girl catch him off guard. At least no one would find out. She wasn't going to say anything, anyway.

"Don't you have some crazy to be tendin' to?" he grunted as he pushed past her.

River giggled very slightly, her lips splitting into a huge grin. With a few lithe footsteps, she placed herself in front of Jayne. "Where're you going?"

He stopped short, staring down at her. "I ain't goin' nowhere. Get out of my way."

But as soon as he tried to move to the right of her, she moved with him. He moved to the left, River mimicking his every move. His aggravation grew until he forcibly grabbed her by the shoulders, effortlessly setting her off to the side. Still with the smile on her face, she trailed him through the corridor.

"Where're you going?" she questioned, tugging on his arm.

A growl rumbled in Jayne's throat as he turned on her, surprising the inexplicably giddy River. Her face suddenly fell placid. "Look, leave me alone! Got that? Pester Simon, he seems to find it entertaining."

At the mention of her brother, River's face was again animated with amusement. "Simon. Simon's not entertaining."

He raised his eyebrows, feigning shock. "There's the revelation of the century."

River angled her head to the side again, now looking confused with his comment.

"I was being sarcastic. You know what sarcasm is, dontcha'?"

Without pausing or missing a beat, she promptly replied. "A mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual."

Jayne felt like he should be impressed or surprised by this, but River's displays of intelligence were becoming routine. "Brain the size of a gorram planet, 'course you'd know. Why'd I even bother asking?"

"Because you wanted to know the answer."

This, however, Jayne did find surprising. It wasn't often that it was evident she had actually heard what he'd said, instead of picking out a few choice words. He shifted his weight, chewing his tongue. "Yeah, I reckon that's so."

"River?"

Simon's voice echoed down the hall. River's head turned quickly in the direction of her brother, then back to Jayne. Her eyes grew with glee, a rapid string of quiet laughter coming out of her. She opened the door to a connecting corridor, pulling the bewildered Jayne in after her.

"What in the hell-"

"Shh! Shh!" River put one index finger to her lips and then to Jayne's, the door slamming shut behind them. "Shh! We're hiding!"

"I ain't yer' hide and go seek partner-"

"Shh!"

He tried to stand up and leave, but River pulled him down back into a crouching position. Somewhere in between marveling at her strength and being profusely annoyed, Jayne remained where he was, leaning back into the wall, as Simon's voice neared. As inconvenient as her game was, he did enjoy screwing around with the doctor's head.

"River?"

In the window of the door, Simon's head loomed for a couple of moments as he searched the area around him. He squinted through the window for a split second, but not being able to see anything moved on. River bounced up on down on her knees, her doe eyes catching the faint light filtering in from the main corridor.

"We fooled him!"

"Yeah, we fooled him. Can I go now?"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait!" River placed her hands on either side of him and leaned in close to his face. Her expression was still excited. Jayne couldn't remember her looking so happy. He also couldn't remember a time when he didn't want a woman leaning over him. He didn't need another lecture from Simon when he was perfectly innocent.

"River, could you … get off of me?"

"Wait!" she repeated urgently. "You won't tell Simon where I am, will you?"

Jayne shook his head rapidly. "Won't say a thing. Promise."

"Okay!" she said, jumping up to her feet. "Promise."

He got to his feet and opened the door, glancing over his shoulder at her. Standing in the darkened corridor, the smile somewhat faded. Jayne made his way down the corridor, trying to shake River's detour from his mind. As he rounded the corner he saw Simon, still searching for his absent sister.

"Jayne, I'm really sorry to bother you but, have you seen River? I'm just worried that she'll get herself into trouble-"

"Haven't seen her," he replied automatically, avoiding Simon's eyes. "Nope. Haven't seen her at all."

The doctor eyed Jayne carefully, slightly perplexed at his shift in behavior. "Well, if you do, let me know."

"Sure. Yeah. I'll be sure to do that." He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll be in my bunk."