A/N: Woot! Wow, this chapter cost me a few hours of good night's sleep trying to figure it out. Hard chapter, very hard chapter…But FLUFF! Or, is there? I won't tell. You're going to have to figure it out for yourself. So, go on! Go search the realms of my fanfic! (actually just read this chapter, I'm just being weird) I got a little song happy…
Disclaimer: Me: I own Avatar. Yes siree, bob…
Lawyers: taking a deep breath to rag on me again
Me Sis: whaps me upside the head with a frying pan No you don't, nimrod!
Me: Fine…sniffs I don't own Avatar…
Lawyers: 0o
Me Sis: There you go! smiles
Lawyers: Would you like to join us, miss? How you handled that was simply superb.
Me Sis: glares Excuse me?
Lawyers: Join…us?
Me Sis: proceeds to repeatedly whap the lawyers with frying pan
Me: I love my sister.
Thank you:
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Chapter 12: Water & Fire-Wish
My name is Katara. I have recently been captured by the Fire Nation's prince, Zuko. These past few days I have hung out with a retired general whom I've come to know as Uncle and the prince himself, who I have now found myself wishing to be a friend of. Perhaps his only friend….They really aren't such bad people. They're just like the other nations, just a bit more over confident than the rest. But, as I find myself repeating these thoughts over and over to myself, I feel shame wash over me. I'm supposed to hate these men. There are no women or children or old people on this ship. They are just the men who are part of the Fire Nation's war. The men who are to blame for the death of my mother.
Sometimes we fall
Ain't nothing new to me
I bring my knees to my chest and hug them, resting my head on the tops, my eyes half closed. My mother said I should learn to always forgive others….but it's so much easier said than done…especially since…I shudder as a memory of my mother screaming desperately for us to run clouds my vision. How can I forgive something like that? But then…
Don't care move on
I must say you gave up for this time now
I huff and walk out of my room quietly. I hate being cooped up in there. I can't think. My mind continues where I left off, uninvited. But then, why has Prince Zuko forgiven his father for what he did to him? Why is he working so hard, risking lives, to help win a war he doesn't believe in? Or maybe…I look over at the object of my thoughts, a hard expression contorting his features as he demands reports from his crew on the whereabouts of Aang and poring over old, weather beaten maps. Maybe he hasn't yet forgiven his father…but then why would he work so hard to be forgiven? I want to know…I have to know…A wry smile twists my lips…I've never been very good at keeping out of other people's business…and I don't regret it. If there's something I can do, I'll do all I can.
Stop! Tell me where you're going
Maybe the one you love isn't there
Does he know? Does he know I now have no parents present due to his father's war? Is he so self centered that he refuses to think of the consequences? I tilt my head and continue looking at him, hoping that something about his expression will betray what's going on inside. He catches my eye…and we just stare at each other…the sounds all around me have melded together into a deafening roar…Maybe he knows the consequences…he just wants to be accepted…no matter what…
You're going under
But you're over it all so you don't care about all that I had to see
The captain asks confirmation on something, but Prince Zuko makes no notice…he's still staring at me…Why? Doesn't he know how silly he looks? Ugh…I look away and hear him promptly answer the captain. I turn to look out over the ocean and can almost imagine Appa flying towards me. But this feeling I find is bittersweet...But why? Why should I regret…
Watch you wait until you come around
Around
"What are you doing out of your room?"
Prince Zuko finished giving orders to the crew and returned his attention to the girl. Katara. What was she doing out of her room? Zuko walked to her and asked her exactly that.
"What are you doing out of your room?"
This seemed to jolt her from her thoughts. "Oh," she exclaimed. "I just needed some fresh and the door was open, so I figured it was okay…"
Don't close your eyes
You need to see it all
"Oh," Zuko sighed, tired.
Katara gulped, mustering her strength. "Um, can I talk to you?"
"Yes?"
"Can we go somewhere private?"
"Why?"
"Because I need to talk to you alone. How about your room?"
"Fine," Zuko led the way to his room, curiosity getting the better of him. "Come in."
It's no surprise
That they break you down
"Thanks."
"So, what is this about?" Zuko asked as he locked the door.
"Why are you so determined to return to your father after what he did to you?"
Zuko froze. "Is this what you wanted to talk about?"
"Yes. I can't understand it. He obviously doesn't care about you, no normal father would do that to their son."
Least they won't give you up
Zuko, with his back still to Katara, tensed his muscles. He did not want to talk about this. He really did not want to talk about this. "Shut up."
"Excuse me?"
Stop! Tell me where you're going
Maybe the one you love isn't there
Zuko turned around, his eyes burning. "I said, shut up. You don't know what you're talking about."
Katara glared, feeling slightly miffed. "Firstly, I will NOT shut up. Secondly, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, and that's why I'm trying to find out."
You're going under
But you're over it all so you don't care about all that I had to see
"Well, what if I don't want you to find out? You don't understand the consequences and needs of war! You're just some good-doer little girl who was bored with life on the home front!"
Katara choked, her eyes burning. She didn't know anything of the consequences of war? "I don't know anything about the pain of war? How can you know that? You don't know anything!"
Watch you wait until you come around
"I know more than you! You have no idea the hardship I've endured for this war!"
"For something so stupid as war?"
It's all wonderful
Living happily
Zuko could feel himself burning inside. She was right. It was stupid. But, he mustn't think that. If he did, there was no hope of things returning to normal. "Yes! Only the ignorant call war stupid!"
"Ignorant?" Katara's voice cracked.
To lose it all
Think you have everything
Zuko narrowed his eyes. What was going on with her? "Yes, ignorant. The only things of this war you know you've heard from word of mouth. You've never really experienced it."
"SH-SHUT UP! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ALL THAT I HAD TO SEE BECAUSE OF THIS WAR! THAT I HAD TO EXPERIENCE!"
Stop! Tell me where you're going
Maybe the one you love isn't there
"What are you talking about?"
"Tell me, Prince Zuko," Katara sniffed. "Do you have a mother?"
"No."
You're going under
But you're over it all so you don't care about all that I had to see
"Did she die due to this war? Did you hear her scream for you to run? Did-" Katara trailed off, her speech dissolving into sobs.
Zuko gulped again. 'I really should learn when to shut up,' he sighed and led Katara over to his bed, all the while Katara trying to push him away.
Watch you wait until you come around
Around
"I'm sorry, Katara. Will you tell me what happened?"
Katara fingered her collar bone, only experiencing brief shock from hearing Prince Zuko utter the words 'I'm sorry.' "It was during one of the Fire Nation raids two years ago. My village was attacked only a week after the men had left…including my dad."
Stop tell me where you're going
Maybe the one you love isn't there
Zuko snorted in disgust. It seemed the council really was power hungry cowards with no honor at all.
"My mother was a waterbender, she tried to fight them off, giving Sokka and I time to run for it. That's the last time I saw her…alive…"
You're going under
But you're over it all so you don't care about all that I had to see
Zuko sighed, his elbows on his knees. "I'm sorry."
"No, you didn't know. But, please answer my question: How can you promise to give your father Aang when you don't support the war?"
Watch you wait until you come around
Around
"Giving my father the Avatar is the only way things can return to normal…"
"Oh."
I can see it in your eyes you're hurting
But the pain is part of learning who you are
"And, if I regain my rightful place, I will have power to stop this war and help return things to normal…"
They sat in silence for awhile, neither knowing what else to say. Finally, Katara spoke. "Were you scared?"
All these truths can sometimes be deceving
"When?"
"Before your father…" Katara flicked her eyes up to his scar.
When your whole world comes crashing to the ground
Zuko bit his lip, debating whether or not to tell her…he probably should, she had spoken openly with him… "Yes."
"I really am sorry that happened to you…"
Tell me everything you need now anything at all
And I will be the one who's waiting anytime you fall
"There's nothing you can do."
"I know. But you know what?"
Yeah, when you come undone
When you come undone
Zuko turned to her. "What?"
Katara smiled a little. "I wish you didn't have to go through what you did."
"I wish your mother was still alive and your father still at home."
You know I can't be like everybody
Cause I can't tell you what you want to hear
Katara sighed, her eyes melancholy. "No. What's done is done. I told Aang once he can't hang on the past, what's meant to be, is meant to be. But I'm okay with that. Aang, Sokka, Appa, and Momo are my family now. And my mother will always be with me in my waterbending…But it doesn't keep me from wishing she was here occasionally," Katara giggled a little. "Especially when Sokka won't listen to me…"
Zuko smiled a little.
I don't know if I can make it better
All I know is I will be around
"How did your mother die?"
"Child birth…"
"Oh…I'm sorry."
Tell me everything you need now anything at all
And I will be the one who's waiting anytime you fall
"No, it's fine. All I remember of her is people talking about her. Saying that I looked just like her, only a guy…they stopped saying that when…"
Yeah, when you come undone
When you come undone
"When you got that scar," Katara reached her hand up in a comforting gesture and laid it on the side of his scar. "I wish I could go back in time and prevent that from happening," Katara looked into his eyes.
When all your plans are made out are lying on the floor
Zuko stared peacefully at her, his hand covering hers. "And I wish I could have prevented your father from going to war and your mother dying."
And all your dreams are turning into nothing more
"But, what's done-" Katara leaned an inch into him.
When all your hope has left you know you're not alone
"Is done," Zuko followed suit. "I know."
Just hold on
"But that doesn't stop us from wishing," Katara smiled, her eyes glistening.
Hold on
"No, it doesn't," Zuko leaned into her more, his heart pounding, a smile dancing in his eyes.
Tell me everything you need now anything at all
"No, it-" Katara's words caught in her throat as she felt the banished prince's lips ever so slightly brush hers. She closed her eyes and could almost feel-
And I will be the one who's waiting anytime you fall
"Hey, kids! Dinner ti-" Iroh petered off, seeing with dismay what he had just prevented.
"We're coming Uncle," Zuko coughed.
Katara smiled breathlessly and followed Iroh out of the room, Zuko pushing past, beginning to bark orders at the crew, a little more hurriedly than normal, Iroh noted.
Yeah, when you come undone
Katara followed Uncle Iroh to the dining room, smiling bemusedly as she wondered why Iroh seemed to be berating himself ("ah, I just had to walk in right at that moment, didn't I? Couldn't have waited a second or two, oh no, just had to get there at that moment-") Katara smiled despite the horror curling in her stomach at what she had just almost done. She didn't care at the moment, she was completely and carelessly happy and she had not a clue as to why.
When you come undone…
My name is Zuko. I am the banished prince of the Fire Nation who, a few days ago, had captured the Avatar's waterbending friend, Katara. That girl has to be one of the most infuriating people on this planet. Falling into my life and asking me questions that don't concern her, how dare she. I take a deep breath, and am surprised to see my anger dissipate with it. I look over at the ground. Maybe she isn't that bad. I mean, she has every reason to confront me like that. I mean, her mother died.
Tell me all the dreams that you have let slip right through your hands
Do you feel lost inside of someone else's life?
Maybe I should give her necklace back…Wait a minute. She hasn't tried to escape since that second night…Is the necklace the only thing holding her back? She seemed to care about it a lot. No…it's gotta be something else. She's the kind of stubborn person who would ask about it if she really wanted it back. I mean…I bet she still really cares about it…she's just….distracted I guess…that's the only word I can think of to describe it…
And we're not gonna live forever
Can you tell me is it now or never?
I bring my callused fingers up to my parched lips and feel a horrible heat enter my cheeks. I almost kissed her…but why? Why! I jerk onto my side, burrowing into the sheets. I can feel my whole body start to burn with shame, my eyes squeezed shut. Why did I have to almost kiss her! I open my eyes again, staring tiredly around the room. I can't find a reason…and it angers me…Great…now things are gonna be all awkward…No, they won't. I won't let them. I'm the prince of the Fire Nation! The prince! Banished maybe…but still…
I'm not gonna make up your mind
I gulp…This will all be over when I hand over the Avatar and send that stupid Water Tribe boy and his infuriating sister back-I take a deep breath. I hate to admit it…but I'm going to miss arguing with that girl…No…I'm not…Yes I am….No…..Yes…No..Yes..No.Yes.No.YesNoYesNO-
I don't wanna live without you
And I don't wanna live a lie
That's it…I'm going to bed…I close my eyes and exhale a breath I had been holding and work out the kinks in my neck and back before settling down to sleep…
We'll never know till we try
…but I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I had kissed her. I feel a smile curl my lips.
Yeah, we'll never know till we try
A/N: Woot! Again! I hope you guys enjoyed! I know I did! Just please, don't kill me! Review!