First, to the reviewer who, anonymously, asked me, after the last drabble, if I'm married and bi-sexual, first: if you had logged in, I could have just PM'd you! I don't bite! And secondly, I THOUGHT it was clear that it's an internet-marriage… like role-playing? I can't even remember exactly how it started… can you Catriona? We were just joking around in reviews and stuff… strange way to get married... ;) And I'm straight BUT I have an open mind, I just haven't fallen in love with a woman yet... well, apart from my wife of course! And now even more people got confused… -sigh- Just… never mind. And yes, I only write slash… and no, I don't know why… -lol-
Secondly: quite a few of you seemed to think that the last story was the LAST delightful drabble… not true (obviously!) but I'm sorry if it seemed that way… no, I'll continue to bug you all a bit more.. ;)
Now onto this one, then…
This story is based on an idea from vampireprincess248 which I got quite some time ago (see people? When I say I'll put your ideas on my list I DO and SOMETIMES there's even results!)and the two OC's mentioned are named by hellfirefairy who won this treat (among other things) in the Kitty Litter T-shirt Slogan contest in the Wynja's Tiny Ducklings-group on Deviant Art (link on my bio-page)
Terms Universe
Warnings: This deals with one of my personal greatest horrors. Something that makes me scream in agony and tear my hair out within minutes. Others loves this. They are mad. Don't worry, though, even with this element of horror it's your usual, lighthearted Terms-fic…
Mission Impossible
Robin and Slade had just sat down to dinner. Together. At a table. In peace. It was even dinner-time. This was a novelty for the two busy 'entrepreneurs' as Robin liked to call them, since 'Criminal Masterminds and Dictators' had such a negative ring to it. No matter, dinner was on the table, and it was a nice one. Sarah had served it, as she usually did, but the woman lingered afterwards and looked like she had something on her mind.
"Sirs?"
Robin looked up. The housekeeper usually called Slade 'sir', unless she was annoyed at him, but not the teen. Something must be the matter, and Slade had picked up at it too.
"Yes, Sarah?" he said.
"I just wanted to remind you of my leave… my grandchildren are coming to visit for two weeks."
"Oh, yeah, I had almost forgotten!" Robin said. "They are expecting a third, right?"
"Yes, and my son and daughter thought it would be nice to get them out from under their feet for the last few days…" Sarah smiled. "They need some special attention too; everything has been all about their new baby brother or sister lately…You won't be bothered, of course, I'll keep them down on my floor, and we will be out and about most of the time…"
"It's no trouble, let us know if we can help," Slade said. "If you want tickets to anywhere, I'm sure we can arrange it."
Robin snickered a little. Yes, if they picked up a phone to secure seats, he very much doubted that there wouldn't be any available.
"Thank you. Wintergreen is off in the Alps too, so I'm afraid you will have to fend for yourself quite a bit."
"I'm sure we will manage," Slade smiled.
"What Slade means is that he knows how the microwave works and I have the number to the closest pizza-place," Robin grinned. "Enjoy spending time with your family… when do they arrive?"
"Tomorrow morning."
"Ahh… we'll probably not be back by then, but you have arranged to use one of the building's cars and drivers to pick them up, I assume?" Slade asked.
"I have. Thank you and enjoy your dinner. I'll see you in two weeks."
"We'll miss you!" Robin called out to the chuckling woman before she was out of sight.
Four days later Slade and Robin was woken up at seven in the morning, which meant that they had gotten about four hours of sleep, by someone knocking on their bedroom door.
"Can't be the kids, they don't knock…" Slade muttered and rolled out of bed.
"Robe!" Robin warned the man before he had managed to open the door and, presumably, made the young man a very jealous enemy.
"Sarah? What happened?" Slade asked as he, properly covered, opened.
"It's… it's my daughter in law, she went into labor and… I don't know what happened… things went wrong and both she and the baby are in intensive care… I…"
"There, there, we'll help out," Slade said, awkwardly patting the woman on the shoulder. The man had some trouble showing his softer side in front of anyone but Robin.
"Sure we will!" the teen said, getting out of bed as well. "One of our jets will get you there in a moment, and we'll contact the hospital and send the leading experts in the world to them within an hour."
"Robin, robe…" Slade smirked.
"Damn!"
"Not to worry, dear, it's not the first time, after all…" The woman managed a little shaky smile. "Thank you both so much, I'll leave at once, but there's just one more thing…"
"Yes? Anything!" Slade said.
"Could you babysit?"
Robin blinked. If someone had asked him to please paint twenty hamsters green, it would have made slightly more sense.
"B-babysit? Me and Slade?"
"The other employers really don't have room, and they aren't used to children…"
"While we have loads of experience?" Robin asked, feeling like the world had gone slightly mad.
"Well, we do deal with Red and Speedy…" Slade shrugged.
"Oh… right… can't be worse than that…" Robin sighed, relived.
"Of course we'll help out," Slade let his housekeeper know.
"Oh, thank you. I've called for a car to the airport, the kids are in the living room. I'll phone as soon as I find something out!" Sarah called out, already half way down the hall.
Robin and Slade looked at each other.
"I think we'd better get dressed…" the teen sighed.
"Yes. You know how to handle kids, don't you?" Slade asked.
"No! Apart from the redheads and Beast Boy… you?"
"You are joking, right?"
"Are we screwed?"
"No, they are kids. How hard can it be?"
"Never EVER say those words!" Robin shuddered.
A few minutes later they were ready to face their new challenge and went into the TV room.
"Hi!" Robin said brightly to two blond, bleary-eyed, kids, who were sitting on the sofa. The boy was around four and the girl around six, as far a he could tell. Robin dug around in his memory for names and hit jackpot. "You're Yvonne and Xander, right? I'm Robin and this is Slade. You're going to stay with us for a few days, okay?"
"Why did mum have to go to hospital?" the girl asked. She had pigtails and had lost a tooth, making her lisp rather badly.
Lovely… right to the hard questions… Robin thought dryly.
"To have your brother or sister, and the doctors will make sure everything will be all right," Slade answered in his husband's place. "Now, had you had breakfast?"
"Err… Slade? I think we only have leftover pizza…" Robin muttered. "We were supposed to pick something up when we were out, remember?"
"Pizza? We can have pizza for breakfast?" the girl grinned, and Xander lit up and started bouncing up and down where he was sitting.
"Pizza-pizza-pizza!"
"Yes, well, why not? Let's ruin them…" Slade chuckled. "People have us pegged as evil already…"
The children didn't seem to think they were too evil, though, as the four of them munched on warmed up pizza slices and milk, which Robin had stolen from a down-stairs staff kitchen. Someone would get blamed for that. Well… it was an emergency, after all, and he had to draw the line at Coke for breakfast.
Yvonne and Xander were busy chewing when a cry was heard from the floor.
"Good morning, my little prince! Hungry?" Robin asked Bunny who had emerged from wherever he had spent the night. That was usually on top of Slade or Robin, or, lately, under the covers, because the Cornish Rex loved to be warm and cozy, even if it meant getting kicked and squashed once in a while. Last night, however, he had already found a spot before his 'parents' got home.
"What is that?" Yvonne asked.
"It's a cat, his name is Bunny," Robin explained, a bit put off, since he thought that the huge eyes, enormous ears and somewhat anorexic body with the silky, curly fur made the cat amazingly cute.
"No, that's not a cat, our neighbor has a cat, and his name is Bilbo and he is orange and he is very big and it doesn't look like him and Bilbo is a nice cat, Mrs. Smith says, but you can't pick him up by his tail because cat's don't like that."
Slade and Robin stared at the four-year old who had, up until that moment, said very little. Xander blinked back.
"And Bunny is a silly name," Yvonne said, not wanting to be left out of the discussion.
"Well, he is a cat, a special breed of cat, and-"
"WAAAAHH!" Bunny, who was getting annoyed at the lack of service, said.
"And he's hungry, so I better get his breakfast," the teen continued.
"Can I feed him?" Yvonne asked eagerly.
"I can too! I can! I'm four!" Xander claimed. "I'm a big boy, my mum says, and I can button buttons and everything, and my friend has a dog and I gave him my ice cream and he threw up, and then he ate it, and that was really gross!"
"You can both help…" Robin said weakly.
After Bunny had been served food which, according to Yvonne 'smelled like poo', which led to Xander telling them a long-winding story about that subject, they all returned to the living room.
"Okay… err… so… what-" Robin started when the elevator door opened.
"Mum! Dad!" came the call.
"Oh, no," Slade sighed.
"Hi!" Speedy grinned when he came in. "Glad you're up, we- okay, who are the midgets?"
"We're not midgets, we are children, actually!" Yvonne huffed and drew herself up.
"Did you adopt? Not enough with three kids?" Red asked, looking somewhat baffled.
"Aren't we cute any longer? Is that why you don't love us anymore?" Speedy asked, looking heartbroken.
Robin made the introductions and then took the redheads aside for a moment to tell them the background story. After that they all gathered on the couches again.
"Why did they call you mum and dad?" Yvonne asked.
"It's their little joke," Robin quickly said before any of the terrible two could answer. "Now, do you have all your things here?"
"Yeah, grandma brought our bags," Xander said and pointed to two suitcases just behind one of the sofas. "I helped her because I'm very strong for my age, dad says, and he knows because he's really really strong! He can carry a whole crate of soda from the shop all the way to the car!"
"Oh, that is really strong!" Robin grinned, glancing at Slade. "Do you have any board games or anything you'd like to play?"
"Board games?" Speedy snorted. "What are you? Sixty three? Let's play video-games!"
"YEAAAAHHH!" Xander exploded, while Yvonne, who was a lady after all, only grinned and nodded.
"We don't have any…" Robin shrugged, creating instant disappointment.
"We have, we'll get one of our consoles… What would you like? Wii? Playstation?"
"Wii!" the kids exclaimed.
"Great, we'll bring some games too!" the thief grinned.
"Wait, Red," Robin interrupted. "Nothing bloody or violent!"
"Errr… okay… we'll pick some up then."
"Good, get milk too!" Robin called after them, "And I want to see receipts!"
"Awww! Damn!" the kleptomaniac muttered.
Speedy returned first, quickly, after getting the console and digging up the traditional sports game, which he hoped, apart from maybe the boxing, would get Robin's approval. It did, and the kids were soon grabbing a control each, bowling away like pros… well… mostly. Xander had a little trouble, but with the control carefully secured around his wrist, at least he probably wouldn't kill anyone, and after a while he got the hang of it..
They had fun, anyway, and when Red came back he had actually managed to pick up some games that were easier for a four-year old to play.
Robin slipped off into their kitchen, a room that was mostly for show unless Sarah was in it, and tried to figure out lunch. It would, he realized after a while, probably have to involve pasta, because that was pretty much all he could cook.
When he returned to the players, an argument had broken out.
"Are too!" Yvonne yelled.
"Am NOT!" Red yelled back.
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
Robin glanced over at Slade who looked rather amused, and Speedy who frowned at the poor girl to the point of growling.
"What is this about?" the black-haired teen asked sternly.
"She… she called us…" Red stuttered, "she called us OLD!"
"You are old! Not as old as him," Yvonne said and pointed at Slade, "But you're still old!"
"They are, aren't' they?" Robin grinned.
"You're old too!" Yvonne declared, and the teen's grin slipped.
"Come on, boys," Slade chuckled, "You know that you think differently about age when you are young… at six you think fifteen is old and thirty-year-olds are ancient."
"Thirty is ancient!" Red exclaimed. "I'm twenty-one, damn it!"
"It doesn't matter if you're old," Xander piped up. "You can play with us anyway, because you should be nice to old people and mum said to be nice to grandma and to help her out and uncle Slade is as old as her, and I can teach you how to play if you want uncle Red? It's easy!"
Robin was already laughing so hard that he was gasping, and the others had no choice but to join in. Half an hour later Slade was the one with a sour face, though.
"Explain to me how a four-year old can beat me at bowling?"
"Well…. you suck?" Speedy grinned.
The kids were still playing, though another game, and the 'old people' had moved to the other side of the room to make some plans.
"Maybe he's a technical protégé?" Slade suggested. "We might want to keep an eye on him, if-"
"Slade, you really just suck," Robin sighed. "And I say that with a lot of love, of course,"
"But he's four!"
"Stop sulking! Now, we are stuck with them for a few days, at least, so we have to go shopping… We can always get dinner from a caterer or something, but we need to have snacks like fruit, and some milk and breakfast-stuff…"
"You don't have any? What do you live on?" Speedy asked.
"Sex," Slade smirked.
"Sarah's cooking…" Robin snorted. "But we don't have much food I think kids would like. Red, Speedy, could you go to the store, please?"
"Sure," the thief shrugged, "We'll draw less attention after all."
"If you don't start orally pleasuring the vegetable department again…" Robin muttered. "Oh god!" he flew up from the chair and ran over to the kids. "Yvonne? Xander? I need to ask you something very important, okay? Is there something you are not allowed to eat? You know what allergies are, right? Do you know if you have any?"
The children looked at each other for a moment.
"I don't know what aller-ees are…" Xander mumbled and looked like he was about to cry.
"Oh, it's simple!" Yvonne, the all-knowing older sister, said. "It's like Billy in you playgroup who can't drink milk, and you know Sammy? She can't get a dog, 'cause she's allergic!"
"She'd eat it?" Xander exclaimed.
"No, silly, some things you get sick from eating and others from just touching and stuff…"
"So… you don't have any allergies, then?" Robin said hopefully.
Yvonne gave him a thoughtful look.
"I'm very allergic to broccoli."
"Yes!" Xander, who caught on quickly, said, "And boiled carrots!"
"I see…" Robin grinned. "Is there anything you are absolutely not allergic to then?"
"Ice-cream!"
"Popcorn!"
"Something for lunch and dinner, kids… food," the teen clarified.
"Hotdogs!"
"Pizza!"
"Hamburgers from the clown's place!"
"Okay, okay… and things you eat at home? We can have hamburgers for one meal, but I'm sure your mum and dad doesn't let you have that every day, do they?"
"No…" Yvonne admitted.
"If I'm gonna be as strong as dad, mum says I can't eat that all the time, but I like spaghetti and oh-oh-oh mac-and-cheese!"
"Yeah, mac-and-cheese! From the blue boxes!"
"Because that's so much healthier…" Robin muttered, but at least he was pretty sure Slade and he could pull that off. "I'll tell Red and Speedy to buy that too, okay? Oh, and why don't we watch a movie tonight? It there any movie you would like to see?"
"Tangled!" Yvonne said, and her brother joined her.
"Is that the one with the girl with the long hair?" Robin asked, children's movies not being his specialty. However, he had recently ducked behind a large billboard advertizing it, and it had saved him from getting shot, so the title rang a bell. "But isn't that still running at the cinema? I don't think the DVD has come out, and I'm sorry, but we need to stay home tonight for when your grandma calls." That was only half the truth, of course. Mostly it was because Robin was terrified of taking the little bundles of energy outside, not to mention that it could, potentially, be dangerous, even if they disguised themselves and left via another building. Mostly it was the 'bringing the kids outside' thing, though…
"Oh…" Yvonne said and looked sad. "We saw that at the movies at home…I miss my mummy…" she then said, and promptly started sobbing. Xander got sad because his sister was sad, and Robin felt completely helpless.
"If that is the movie you want to see, you will!" Slade suddenly said next to them. "And when you go home to your parents and the baby you can tell them that you saw it in your very own cinema."
"Re-really?" Yvonne sniffed.
"With popcorn?" Xander asked.
"With popcorn," Slade promised, "I just need to make a phone call."
"Why don't you go play some more and I'll tell uncle Red and uncle Speedy to get that mac-and-cheese you wanted. The blue box, right?"
The kids nodded happily and returned to their game. Robin, however, returned to two rather telling looks and shaking heads.
"You and Slade would suck as parents…" Speedy sighed.
"What?"
"You totally just caved! All she needed to do was turn on the waterworks and Slade is gonna fix a cinema for them?"
"No, he's not, we're probably gonna use the screening-room… we've watched movies there before! He's just… well… gonna… get the movie…" Robin mumbled. "And she was sad!"
The redheads shook their heads again and chuckled.
"Well, we're off to do the shopping… plenty of broccoli and carrots…"
"Don't… Not even I eat that stuff…" Robin muttered.
Movie night was a great success, but Slade and Robin snuck out as the man's phone rang.
"Sarah, how are you, and how are the rest of them?" Slade asked, while Robin pressed his head to the phone as well, saying hello.
"They are both still critical. She lost a lot of blood and the boy some oxygen and he has some kind of problem with his lungs. The experts you called for are here, though, and they are working round the clock... how are the children?"
"They are enjoying a private screening of 'Tangled' and eating popcorn... they have it good..." Robin comforted the housekeeper. "Should we tell them they have a brother?"
"No, not yet... just distract them, will you? But don't let them drive you crazy!"
"How do you prevent that?" Slade asked dryly, but Robin elbowed him.
"They are both angels," the teen claimed. "You don't have to worry..."
"Thank you both so much... when I get back you are going to get a big roast dinner..." the woman promised.
"Sounds great... take care now, and no need to rush... we have things under control," Slade said.
Famous last words, because a moment later Xander joined them in the hall.
"I have to pee!"
Robin fled into the cinema and let Slade deal with it.
"You little coward!" the man hissed as he returned a while later.
"Well, it's you who don't want me to be heroic... can't see how you can complain..." Robin grinned.
"Well, yes, just so you know, the hallway bathroom now has a plastic footstool and some kind of removable extra smaller toilet-seat."
"Where in the world did you find those things?"
"In Sarah's apartment. She must have forgotten about them in the rush... she also had food, by the way."
"Of course she did! Why didn't we go there from the start?"
"Because she has repeatedly told us that she will have our balls if we invade her privacy?"
"Ah, yes, that... so what did the apartment look like?
"Surprisingly frumpy. Lots of doilies."
"Oh, lord."
"I never told you that."
"Of course you didn't. I like your balls," Robin grinned.
Robin had to put his foot down after the movie when it came to getting the kids to brush their teeth and go to bed. He was kind of proud that he managed to withstand the wobbly lips this time.
They had made up the couches for the kids to sleep on, since those were wide and comfortable enough, and then all that was left was to tuck them in.
"Read a story?" Yvonne asked Slade. Children have a sixth sense when it comes to single out the person in the room that would least like to read the bedtime story, but the man, of course, couldn't refuse. Robin was shaking with laughter while Slade read one of the huge stack of books the children had brought, as the man didn't quite made the princess-story justice. The kids were happy, though, and Xander dozed off, while Yvonne was a bit fussier. She was a big girl, after all, not a baby, and she should be allowed to be up late. After pointing out that it was, in fact, already late, and promising to leave the light in the hallway on, Slade and Robin finally withdrew to their own bedroom, where Robin leaned against the wall.
"I'm sooooo tired…"
"Want me to tuck you in too?" Slade smirked.
"Yeah..." Robin grinned back and then his eyes widened. "Oh, damn! We don't have... we need..." with those words he dived into the closet while Slade stopped and watched, half way to their en-suite bathroom.
"What are you looking for?"
"Pajamas! We need pajamas!"
"We do?"
"Yes, we do! There are children in the next room!"
"But they are not in here," the man pointed out.
"They could be!"
"I have a nasty feeling that sex will be out of the question…" Slade muttered.
"Of course it will! Are you insane?" Robin hissed.
"It's not me I'm worried about," the man mumbled, but luckily for him, Robin didn't hear him, as he at that moment found what he was looking for.
"Yes! I knew Alfred sent us these for Christmas last year!" he said and withdrew two dark-blue boxes.
"I hope my name wasn't on the thank-you card…" Slade grumbled and then ducked into the bathroom for safety.
Slade, however, was a man who took restrictions very lightly, as they so seldom applied to him, so half an hour later, when they had both showered, separately, in case the kids would 'wake up and need something' as his young husband put it, Robin felt a hand sneaking up under his pajama shirt.
"Slade, no!" he said sternly, though he wouldn't mind a little fun himself. "Go to sleep."
"Fully clothed?" he man grunted. He was right, though, the teen had to admit. The pajamas, although they both fit perfectly, were a bit stiff with full length arms and legs and they even had buttons on the front. They were both used to sleeping nude, something the teen found surprising. He never thought he would actually come to prefer that, when Slade had first started making him, so long ago.
"Don't complain," Robin muttered, "They are Ralph Lauren."
"Then I'm going to look this Ralph up and make him wear them…" the man threatened.
Robin was about to answer when there was a knock on the door.
"Come in!" he said, instead of something much less polite that he was just about to say to Slade.
"We had a nightmare, can we sleep with you?" Yvonne said as she poked her head in.
"Of course you can," Robin smiled at the poor, hopefully-not-motherless children, not even questioning how they both could have had one nightmare, and soon there was a very efficient barrier between him and his molesting husband.
Slade's and Robin's bed was quite wide, so the teen didn't think that two small children would disturb his sleep. He was wrong. Children, he discovered, kicked. Like mules. Judging by the look Slade gave him in the morning, the man had also been attacked. Even Bunny, who had thought it would be twice as cozy with more people in the bed, had sighed and given up after only an hour.
"They will sleep on the couches tomorrow," the older man muttered.
"Yeah… or I will…" Robin nodded. He stood up on his tip-toes to kiss the man good morning, trying to put him in a slightly better mood.
"EEEEWWWW! COOOOTIES!" Xander cried. Robin jumped, as he hadn't realized that the little tyke was awake.
"Oh, you are so stupid! Uncle Slade can't get cooties because Robin is not a girl!" Yvonne let her little brother know.
"Oh, you can never be too sure…" the teen smiled. "That's why you are both going to take a bath after breakfast."
"With bubbles?"
"Sure!"
"OH, do you have any rubber ducks?" Xander asked next.
"NO! Oh… I mean… no… sorry…" Robin mumbled as he almost managed to frighten the little guy.
"You don't have any bath-toys?" Yvonne asked, apparently appalled at this lack.
"Oh, yes, but not any suitable for children…" Slade smirked and Robin gave him a warning look. "Uncle Robin likes to bring one or two things into the tub now and then, though…" the man continued, ignoring the warning completely.
"Oh, like what?" the girl asked curiously.
"A book! To read!" Robin hurriedly said. "And Slade, you shut up before I make you!" he growled quietly. "Go fix breakfast!"
"But I was going to start working… you know the payments we lost sleep over for the last two weeks?"
"If you think I'm a stay-at-home-mum, you are wrong, honey," Robin said in a dangerously silky voice. "Work can wait, we have kids now!"
"Breakfast then… I hope everyone wants cereal…" the mercenary muttered as he walked away.
Yvonne managed her bath by herself, thankfully, but Xander, of course, needed help. It was Robin's turn to step up, and afterwards the teen was pretty sure he was more soaked than the kid was. The mission was accomplished, however, without even as much as shampoo in the eyes.
That afternoon, for the first time in forever, Robin and Slade were genuinely happy to see the redheads. They brought new energy and took over the playing for a while, so the babysitters could prepare dinner in peace.
"They are too cooped up here," Robin said as they were setting the table. "I didn't want to take them outside, but they need to tire themselves out, or they are going to kill us."
"So what should we do? Find a field somewhere and let them run loose?" the man asked.
"I have no idea…" Robin sighed, but, luckily, Red was just coming onto the kitchen to get paper-towels, Robin didn't even want to ask for what, and overheard their conversation.
"Well, duh! Take them to the amusement-park!"
"What amusement-park?" Robin asked, but then he remembered. "Oh, that's right… we did give the mouse-and-duck people the right to set up when we first got here… I almost forgot about it…"
"You're kidding? You're never been? It's the biggest in the world!" Red said. "Damn, me and Speedy has like done it in every ride! Twice!"
"And that might be the reason…" Slade said dryly. "But sure… a disguise or two might be necessary, but-"
"Not Robinne!" Robin objected.
"No, actually I was just thinking of ditching the eye patch," Slade let him know, "but on the other hand…"
"Nope. Not gonna happen. If you insist you will be taking them yourself," Robin claimed.
"Alright, as you wish… but I'll get you in a skirt again soon enough…" the man promised.
"Should we tell them that we're going to Disney Universe tomorrow?" the thief asked.
"Yeah, sure, why not?" Robin grinned.
Big mistake.
The children got so hyped that they were jumping up and down on the sofas until after midnight, and when Slade and Robin in the end threatened that if they didn't lie down, they would not be allowed to go to the amusement park, they obeyed, but their excited whispers could be heard all the way into the babysitter's bedroom long after that.
Sarah had called earlier, saying that things were still serious but looking better for both mother and child, and if everything went as the doctors hoped, the housekeeper would fly back in three days, if that was all right. It was, both Robin and Slade had told her earnestly, with fingers crossed.
"And then it went up and then it went down again and then it went up and I thought it would go down but it went SWISH! to the side like this and then I threw up and it was BRILLIANT!" Xander let 'uncle Slade' know as he was riding on his shoulders after yet another adventure.
"Yup, that it was!" Red grinned, looking proud.
"I'm so glad we brought you two along…" Robin mumbled.
"I wanna have a princess! I wanna have a princess!" Yvonne yelled and suddenly grabbed Robin's hand, dragging him away with a force that almost dislocated his shoulder.
"Can I have a hot-dog? I'm hungry!" Xander let the world know.
"When's the parade? When's the parade?"
"Speedy, not you too!" Robin growled, "Now come on and let's get this princess, whoever she is,"
"I think it's a doll, mom…" the archer said.
"At this point I. Don't. Care. If she wants the whole cast, they are coming home with us," the tired teen growled.
"Oh, can we have Flynn and Aladdin?" Red X asked.
"And Tarzan?" Speedy added.
"We will not be kidnapping anyone," Slade let them know. "If you want them, you have to come back for them another day."
"I WANNA GO ON THE BOATS!" one of the kids shouted at that moment, and they were off again, Slade holding a pink-clad Barbie-type doll and contemplating suicide.
Echo's most famous couple looked half dead, despite their healing-factors, as they, carrying one sleeping kid each, returned home in the evening. That night Slade didn't have the energy to as much as be suggestive.
The kids were still so thrilled that the day after went very smoothly, and Robin and Slade decided to be bad parents and place the kids in front of the TV with their new Disney-collection and multiple toys.
Like zombies the men moved around the apartment and tried to tidy up. Robin didn't even know how half of the stains had happened and even what they were, and there seemed to be odd pairs of midget-sized socks everywhere.
Bunny had a blast with all the cardboards, paper and packing from the toys, and the kids discovered that weird cats were fun too.
That evening, as the kids were listening to a story on a CD, Robin took a long bath. When he got up, Slade had put the tykes to bed and they had, actually, fallen asleep.
Robin smiled at his husband when he was told this, and went to kiss him. That kiss had them on the bed not long after, and things quickly got hotter from there. It had been days after all, and even Robin's morals had its limits. Especially now.
"Why are you on top of Robin, uncle Slade?"
"AH!" the teen yelled, a little bit like shrilly, perhaps. He was so glad that they were only half-naked, but it was, of course, bad enough.
"Are you wrestling?" This question was from Xander, while the first one had come from his sister. They were both standing in the door, stuffed animals under their arms.
"No, that's how you make babies!" Yvonne told her brother.
"No, it's not! Mum and dad said that was wrestling!"
"When?"
"While back…"
"Did not! Liar!"
"Am not!"
"Am too!"
"Kids!" Robin barked, "Go to bed! Now!"
"That's what dad said too!" Xander declared happily.
"You can't have babies anyway, you are both boys!" Yvonne pointed out. "So you are just being silly!"
"Yes, and we would like to continue to be silly a bit more, so go away," Slade said kindly.
"But we had a bad dream…"
"And we miss mommy…"
"And our baby brother…"
There really were no arguments strong enough to stand up to that…
The kids had been allowed to speak with their mum that afternoon and it seem that both she and their new brother were going to be fine, although they would have to stay in hospital for a while longer. Knowing this, however, Sarah was finally coming home. Tomorrow afternoon. Robin wanted to cry from happiness.
It wasn't that the kids were hard work, per see, it was the attention they craved. 'Robin look at me!' 'Robin, you know what?' 'Robin, can you do this?' 'Robin-Robin-Robin'… oh, and Slade, of course… They were constantly in your face, constantly repeating what they had heard, or even just said themselves, like it was great news and- the teen looked down on them now, snuggled under the covers… they were damn sweet too… and funny… it wasn't their fault he wanted a lobotomy.
"What I don't understand," Slade said after moving to his side of the bed and putting his shirt on with a resigned sigh, "is how their parents managed to get three kids?"
Sarah arrived with presents and pictures. To Robin's amusement Yvonne declared that Bunny was cuter than the baby, but, on the other hand, the baby looked like a naked, pink, cross-eyed pug. The cutest baby ever, according to the housekeeper.
"I'm going to take the kids downstairs and then I'm starting that dinner!" the woman declared.
"No, don't trouble yourself, we'll have that another day!" Robin said, sitting on the couch next to Slade. "We have plenty of leftovers…"
"Nonsense! You need a nice, home cooked meal," Sarah insisted.
Fifteen minutes later the woman returned to the apartment.
"Hello? Sorry, it seems the bathroom-things are here and- oh…" She smiled. Slade and Robin had never gotten off the couch, and they were both soundly asleep, leaning against each other. Sarah chuckled and shook her head. Men. So tired from just a little bit of baby-sitting… she decided that the roast would have to wait until tomorrow after all. Her boys needed their nap.
The End.
A/N: The horror-part of this story was, of course, children. God... I'm the BEST babysitter for like… thirty minutes. Then I need to leave… ;) And I've been beaten in Wii Bowling by a four-year-old. I swear the kid was possessed!
Oh, and I can't for the life of me remember if Slade had previous children in this universe. I've looked through a few old stories and found references to a wife in "Getaway", but no kids, so I'm going for that. If one of you know better, tell me which story it was mentioned in, please… I really can't keep track of that man's brats in all these worlds… ;)
EDIT: hanakisa has since i posted this reminded me that at least ONE son (Joseph) is mentioned in chapter 10 of 'Terms Of Endearment'... I don't think I've ever re-read "Terms" so I had forgotten about that scene completely, and I have no idea how I missed it before posting this... ah, well... I'm going to let this drabble stand, but the Terms-fact must be concidered as "canon" after all... what the hell happend with Joe? I DO have to re-read Terms... just that in the text Hanakisa sent me from that story there were like three spelling-errors... in two lines... aaargh... I'd kill myself before I finish reading... ;)