A/N: Alright a couple more chapters and this portion of the story will have come to an end, though the sequel will bring about even more drama (and cliffhangers) for everyone! I'm actually surprised at how dedicated I am to this story I think it's probably the best one I've done yet! It thrills me to write these chapters, even as you read this I'm more then likely 3 or 4 chapters ahead of this, why don't I put them all on? Because I like to torture everyone with having to wait! (And it takes me awhile to edit it.)

Disclaimer: I don't own HIM and I don't own YYH, I don't even own a couple of the names that I used how messed up is that?

Chapter 36: I don't know why yet still the same

'I'm killing myself for you'… 'I'm killing myself for you.'… The words echoed over and over in her head as they did before only this time with a meaning set in them she had failed to notice before.

Shi could visibly see her sister breaking down like her mind was collapsing but she was struggling to keep control, her look was still solid on her though the gun in her hand still pointed at her eye shook visibly.

Just then the gun flew upwards till her arm was completely straight and the trigger was pulled, if Shi's count was right it was pulled five times, it hit surrounding humans observing their odd behavior, all of them perfectly between the eyes.

Then she fell to her knees before Shi grasping onto her shoulders tightly, the look in her blue eyes had Shi mystified and unable to look away… the look of plead and desperation.

"What did you mean?" Her tone matched her look.

"Nani?"

"Tell me what you meant by that!" Shi looked frightened by her sister's insane actions. "I'm killing myself for you, I-." A hand met the side of her face with fierce force, and then another shot went out beside them hitting another human.

"Don't say it!" Shi was confused beyond all reasoning, what was driving her to become this way?

"I mean that I'm complying to everything you bring upon me and you are still determined to see my demise… I'm killing my own self… and you are blind to not see that."

Leleel's look straightened though she looked still slightly out of it, a deviant and insane chuckle escaped her, "shut up." Shi didn't say anything, "just shut up."

Leleel pulled back and moved from her about a foot, "shut up!" She shouted. "I… I can't…" Shi could see her visibly straining, but for what she was unsure.

"I am not blind, you are blind! You and only you, I can not be blind!" They could both feel beings slowly approaching them, Yusuke and the others behind Shi and Topai and Iiro behind Leleel.

Shi couldn't break her look from Leleel, seeing her breaking down under the pressure… the stress of everything she had been holding up for who knew how long, holding up the not only her world but that of a whole demon race, it pained her deeply to see this and not be able to do anything.

Her hands came up to her head, covering her eyes as best as possible and kneeling forward till her head was near touching the ground, her white hair fell limply onto the cement.

"Shi." Kurama's voice penetrated the thick scene the two had made. "I think we should go." In reality all the four wanted to do at the moment was split the twins up, get them away from each other for awhile, or as long as need be.

She simply nodded knowing she was in no position to protest and let herself be brought to her feet watching the other three for a moment, Topai and Iiro crouching beside their fallen ruler whispering inaudible things to her yet she seemed to not hear them.

Had she really done that much to her sister with only five words?

"Come on Shi." Finally she had to move her eyes away from the sight and follow them away silently, there would be time for interrogation, comments, and discussion later when there weren't humans around.

Meanwhile Topai and Iiro were having much less luck then the others had getting their twin to move. "Leleel ma'am please we must move the ningen authorities will be here anytime." He tried.

Both could hear her heavy breaths of air. "Please, just let us take you somewhere more confined."

"I can hear the sirens." Iiro said, Topai nodded, they had to get her out of here quickly to be able to make an effective escape, though they couldn't just take her, for all they knew she could start acting irrational even to them, it had to be taken slowly.

"Please, we need to leave now." Her upper body stirred lifting slightly to show her broken features, now only two people had ever seen her this broken, though she dared not think of him now.

She nodded and he gently lifted her by the middle, with a little help from her he was able to take her lean figure into his arms, bridal style, and let her push herself into him just for the mere touch.

"Come on." Iiro and Topai's wings appeared carrying her away from the scene, it was when they were far into the air that they spotted the police headlights stop at the park around all sides.

"Where are we going?" Topai asked.

"Just follow me," Iiro looked back at him then quickly at Leleel almost physically trying to ask how she was, Topai shrugged in response.

It had never been out of the ordinary for Leleel to break down before, they all thought she was very young to be the ruler of a whole species of demons, the stress of it was usually put onto elder demons thinking they had more wisdom enough to lead a vast amount of demons.

But for a demon hundreds of years younger then others it made everything much worse, no one would blame her for breaking every now and again, but there was nothing they could do about it, their rules were set in stone and that's just the way things had to be.

They flew on for about five miles before landing on an old warehouse roof, one that had no doubt been abandoned for years on end.

Topai set Leleel down, she just sat there lifeless, finally her eyes flicked to Topai. "What did I do?" She asked desperately. "Why did I do this?" Then to Iiro her eyes moved.

"You did what you thought was right, no one is perfect ma'am." She chuckled looking out at the late afternoon horizon, late in the day it had become yet not late enough for a sunset.

"Except me." She inhaled the sweet scent of salt water from the nearby beach, she had missed it so back in the Makai, her memory was sharp, it remembered the smell of it… that was just something no one could ever forget. 1

"I have to be perfect… but I wasn't… I failed." Something she remembered reading one day clicked in her mind. "You know… I don't remember the formal name of it but the Japanese humans when a general takes them into war and they lose they have to commit suicide… do you think that same rule applies to me?" 2

"No." They both said instantly. "You are higher then the ningens are, that is out of the question." She smiled at Iiro, "you sound like you should be my Dad."

"He would say something of that sort." He agreed. The smile never left her face though her gaze dropped down to the cement. "You know… I could consider a lot of demons my friends of a sort but I think you two are like my father… I never really knew him other then what people told me but, if I did know him… I think he would have been just like the two of you."

She stood up, "I don't understand what I did or why for that matter, but I think later I have to go do something very important." They stood up beside her.

"You are strong ma'am." She shook her head. "I have one order for you two… don't call me 'ma'am' again it's to formal and I consider you two almost as high authority as myself." Both nodded and bowed.

"I didn't mean to break like that, I guess I owe you guys and everyone an apology though, for using a ningen weapon." She looked at the gun still clenched in her hand and stuck it in her pocket.

"It was in a foresight of mine, I suppose that makes it okay though, just that once." Neither knew what exactly to say.

"Now… I need to think for a little while… meet me in the other city in three hours." They nodded knowing what she meant; she called her Henki's to her as her wings and was off in the direction of the beach.

There were so many things she had never been able to do as the true shadow demon she was originally, then again there were so many things she had done wrong in her life also, taking to use the technique humans used she figured it would be best to go to a selected portion of the beach to simply sit and think everything over until she was ready to do the inevitable.

-

"It feels good to be home!" Shi said when they appeared at the temple from a portal. When no response came from her friends she turned around to them to see all serious looks.

"Um… I didn't do it?"

"Shi you need to get tested." Kurama said stepping forward. Her eyes widened and she stepped away from them.

"No! I don't know who told you but I haven't done anything yet with anyone I swear, and I don't think I have anything either." Hiei was confused though Yusuke and Kuwabara couldn't help but laugh. 3

"Not that kind of tested, I mean to find out what happened to you from the Changing Decisions." The kitsune said rolling his eyes slightly. She sighed, "but I'm not a light demon."

"How do you know?"

"The fact that when I was fighting with Leleel all the energy I was using was shadow energy and I don't feel anything like a light demon." Kurama was about to say something but Yusuke intervened.

"I say just let her go, if something happens that makes us think that way then we'll force her to get tested, until then just let her go." Kurama huffed, "I don't think that would be wise, but fine."

Shi smiled. "Thanks Yusuke I love you and you two!" Hiei looked at Yusuke in a glare that promised his death before the end of the day.

"You know… that battle was hard and the after part was confusing so… can I maybe be left alone for awhile?"

"Yeah sure." One by one the gang filed into the house with Kuwabara and Yusuke running inside shouting for food, Hiei stayed behind though, Shi looked at him in desperation."

"Please Hiei." He was quiet for a moment.

"Are you really fine?" Shi knew it would probably simply be best to just say 'yes' and let everything be but his concern got to her. "You're actually being concerned for once, that's a change." She said with a smile though his look only hardened.

"Hn." Her smile grew if that was possible. "Hai Hiei, I'm fine." Again he let silence pass then being at least partly satisfied he left her be following the others inside of their home.

When the click of the door came Shi's look fell, if she had had the choice she would not have left as they had made her then, the look of Leleel being so broken, it killed her in a way and had made a pit of guilt form in her.

What was there to do now, who knew where or if Topai and Iiro had taken her, how was she to go find out what would happen? And even is she did there was no guaranteeing that there would be a positive effect.

A sharp wind blew by that whipped her hair to one side and with it blew away her thoughts and feelings leaving her completely numb, what would become of her, of her and Leleel, surly there couldn't just be that rivalry simply because one was of light decent and the other dark, that just wasn't right.

Though time and again Leleel had proven that even what seemed right could easily be made out into a wrong. Shi couldn't stand it, not right now, being alone was not what she needed at the moment, no, on the contrary she wanted to be around people, only then she suspected would it really feel as though she was being herself.

With a sigh she followed on in to the temple no surprisingly finding Yusuke and Kuwabara raiding the kitchen for food, walking over to them in one instant she pushed them out of her way.

"If you don't move I'm going to kill you." They looked confused. "What got you so upset?" Kuwabara asked, she glared at both of them. "You stand between me and my food… that can't be forgiven."

"Is it just me or is she starting to act more and more like Shorty?" Kuwabara whispered to Yusuke who stood beside him. "I agree."

She took out some rice she remembered making just before being kidnapped and moved to the microwave to try heating it up without blowing it up… again.

Kurama, who sat at the table with a glass of water in hand, watched the scene in confusion at their actions. "Don't put it in for five minutes again Shi." He said to her.

"I know I know, jeez it explodes one time and everyone thinks I can't cook!" He huffed. "No she's still the same Shi Kuwabara."

A soft knock came at the door, by the way the other three didn't make a move in response he figured he had been the only one to hear it, or to care. He stood up and went to the door, opening it he had to double take at who stood there.

A/N: Have I ever told all of you how much I like Cliffhangers? Well I really like them as you can see, even this one might be a little to obvious, anyways next chapter might be the last one I don't know it depends how I feel though if I haven't stressed it enough THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL!

So please review EVERYONE! I love hearing anything anyone has to say (except flames, comments are good but no flames please!)

1: Me, living close to beach agree with this, I think it is virtually impossible to completely forget the sense of being at a beach, even if you've only been there once it'll all still remain in your memory.

2: I hear about that suicide thing almost all the time when I watch the history channel, I always thought it was interesting, though if anyone knows anything about it I'm open to hear!

3: If no one is able to figure this out she thinks they want to give her a test for HIV or aids, we were talking about it in school so I just couldn't help myself!