CHAPTER 44

A FAVOR

Jason was still struggling to come up with the right words to say to Grant when the young man in question suddenly emerged, fresh from his bath, further on down the corridor. He was carrying the coveralls in a tight bundle under one arm, having changed back into his own clothes.

"Feeling better?" Jason asked conversationally.

Grant gave a cry of alarm, dropping the bundle and his eyeglasses, which he had been in the process of cleaning. He turned sharply, a hand to his chest. "You scared me!" he snapped accusingly.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to," the Alterran said apologetically, bending down to retrieve the youth's glasses that had landed at his feet and holding them out to him. "I was just on my way to get something to eat. Join me?" He picked up the coveralls, scanning them in the process and verifying the abundance of chronons particles as he handed them back.

Still uncertain about the shape changing Alterran, Grant hesitated. He accepted his glasses and put them on to scrutinize his expression more clearly.

Seeing the youth's apprehension, Jason smiled knowingly. "I promise not to change into anything more frightening than a host during dinner," he said mildly.

Grant gave a small smile. "Okay. Just let me get rid of these first," he said at last.

When Grant arrived at the kitchen he saw that Jason had chosen to ignore the food machines and was instead preparing their meal from scratch. Since the Alterran was from what Grant considered the future, this came as a bit of a shock. "You can cook?" he remarked, watching in fascination as ingredients were pulled from various cupboards, drawers and boxes.

"I love to cook. I just don't get to do it very often." Seeing the astonished look on Grant's face, Jason grinned. "Along with my other professions, I'm a chemist. If you think about it, it's just a different kind of cooking. Mixing the right combination of ingredients and hoping they don't go up in smoke." He continued to work as he spoke. He spun knives impressively in the air and began chopping up various vegetables. "And this is just another kind of surgery." Looking up, he added, "The best part is you can eat your mistakes." To his delight, his audience of one actually cracked a smile at this analogy. A sudden thought struck him and he asked, "By the way, you're not a vegetarian, are you?"

"No," came the puzzled reply.

"Oh, good," Jason sighed relievedly. "That would derail the entire meal." He finished his chopping and began combining the ingredients. Grant watched in awe as food seemed to fly in all directions without spilling. A large bowl was set down in front of him, and the contents of a smaller one was poured over what he could only assume was a salad as Jason tossed the mixture together. He was suddenly handed two smaller bowls and motioned to set them out on the table. Jason slid a pan into the oven, and set a timer before checking on a blender that was buzzing noisily for attention. He gave a nod of approval and poured the contents into a pitcher.

"What's that?" Grant asked, watching as the liquid changed color several times.

"I doubt you'll be able to pronounce it," the Alterran replied, rattling off a name that had more clicks then consonants. "It's from a fruit that's native to my home planet. I hope you like it. I always have. It…kind of goes with anything." He poured out a glass for each of them and then began serving up the contents of the large bowl, which, as Grant suspected, was an exotic sort of tossed salad. He had no idea what half of the ingredients were, but could not deny that it was delicious.

Jason served the remaining courses with the same flourish, silently studying the young man as he ate his meal. He waited until they started on dessert before finally attempting to fulfill his promise to the Doctor, although he still had no idea how to proceed. "You don't talk very much, do you, Grant?" he observed quietly.

The young man looked up, his expression unreadable. "I let the Doctor do that. He seems to like the sound of his own voice."

"Yeah, he does like an audience," Jason agreed, studying Grant with an intensity the young man found unsettling.

"He probably thinks I'm bad luck."

"What? Now why would he think that?"

"You're joking, right?" Grant replied, sitting back in his chair. "I mean, just look at the situation now. This friend of yours, Mel. She's missing because of me."

"That's not entirely true."

"Isn't it? You wouldn't believe the things that've happened since the Doctor let me come with him."

"I can probably guess." Jason smiled knowing. "How long have you been traveling with him?"

"A few months."

"Oh, that explains a lot." Suddenly understanding the young man's predicament, Jason gave him a steady look. "Grant, you are not bad luck. You just travel with it."

Grant blinked and then scowled. "What?"

"The Doctor is always in trouble. He lives for trouble. If he were human I'd say he was an adrenaline junkie, but it's much more complicated than that." Pausing, Jason said seriously, "He thinks of himself as—How can I put this? A force for good in the universe."

Grant gave him a dubious look through his eyelashes. "A force for good?"

"I know, it sounds corny. But you'll see." A pause. "If you decide to stay, that is."

The young man looked up sharply, his eyes wide. "How did you…?"

Jason could not help but laugh at this reaction. "I've been there myself." He was completely serious when he went on to say, "Look, Grant, I'm not a complete fool. I saw what Buckley was doing to you. You don't think you can take anymore, do you?"

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"I understand—"

"No you don't!" Grant snapped angrily. "I'm the weakling! The one everybody picks on. But you—" He waved a hand at him. "You can change into anything you want. I didn't see anyone pushing you around."

"Grant—"

"l'X'el told me what happened and why you're here," the young man interrupted again. "And I'm sorry you had to go through all that, but you didn't have someone holding you down and threatening to cut off body parts, did you? You can't possibly understand how I feel."

Stung by this remark, Jason closed his eyes, painful memories flooding into his mind. "Oh Grant, you have no idea," he said softly, a chill running down his spine. "I understand far better than you could possibly imagine."

"How? Did the other shape shifters push you around in school?" came the savage retort.

Jason knew the boy was lashing out as a defense mechanism, which only made what he had to say that much more difficult. He gave him a pained look and lowered his head slightly, unable to look him in the eye. "No, a bit more recently than that. I had a really, really bad experience. I…I…" Breaking off, he put his head in his hands. "I can't. Dear God, I just can't…talk about it." The anguish in his voice stunned his listener into silence. "I've been in therapy for nearly ten years. I now have a phobia about being held down. The official diagnosis is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But…that doesn't tell the half of it." When Jason looked up, Grant was shocked to see he was fighting back tears. "Contrary to what you may think, I am not all powerful. I'm just a man whose true appearance is different than yours. I have weaknesses like anyone else."

Grant was uncertain if he really wanted to hear more. "If you don't want to talk about it…"

It was already too late. Jason had awakened the memories he had been trying to suppress and they were rearing up like a multi-headed dragon breathing a fire that burned into his psyche. He had resisted talking about his experience for so long that now he had started, he could not stop himself and the words started to tumble from him. "About ten years ago some very nasty individuals did an excellent job of exploiting my weaknesses. They pumped me so full of drugs I couldn't transmute. Then, when I was helpless they…strapped me down, stripped me naked, and…tortured me for…days…and days…and days…"

Grant's eyes widened upon hearing this, his opinion of the man before him taking a complete one hundred and eighty degree turn.

"I was out of my mind by the time the Doctor found me," Jason was saying quietly, his eyes focused in the distance. "And, mercifully, I don't remember everything that happened. But what I do…haunts me." By this time tears were streaming down his face and he made no attempt to stop them. He was also trembling badly and took a few minutes to get control of himself. "Sorry about that," he said at last, brushing the tears from his face with a trembling hand. "Did I mention I also have a tendency to get very emotional?"

"Jason, don't apologize!" Grant blurted out. "I should be apologizing to you. I never should've assumed—"

Jason held up a hand. "No, it's okay. It's…not your fault. You couldn't've known. Even my own people don't realize—" Drawing a deep breath, he went on in a firmer tone. "People have this strange idea that because I'm a 'Royal' I'm invulnerable. I'm supposed to be above everything; cold and detached. They have no idea how incredibly…broken I feel inside."

"And scared. Always so scared," Grant added quietly, not realizing he had spoken.

Jason started, suddenly realizing he was getting through. "Not like the Doctor, huh?" Sitting back, he wiped a stray tear from his face. "He used to drive me crazy, walking into Lord knows what just to satisfy his curiosity. Charging off—"

"And never telling you why," Grant injected.

"Oh, you always learn why," Jason rejoined, his eyebrows raised.

The two exchanged a knowing look and said in unison, "Later!" then burst out laughing.

"I'm glad to hear there's something to laugh about around here," the Doctor remarked from the corridor as he approached the kitchen. "Care to let me in on the joke?"

Jason's eyes locked with Grant's. "Later," the boy squeaked, collapsing into laughter again.

The look of bewilderment on the Doctor's face caused Jason to chuckle despite himself. "Our considered opinion is that you still drive your traveling companions crazy."

The Time Lord straightened and tugged on his lapels. "It's a gift," he said proudly. He was delighted when his remark was received with a further peal of laughter. Despite the fact that it seemed to be coming at his own expense, he was glad his sullen friends had finally managed to cheer each other up although he wondered at what price it had come emotionally. It was obvious Jason had been crying, his eyes red rimmed and slightly swollen. Grant seemed in better spirits and he decided to leave them to it. Rolling his eyes in an exaggerated manner, the Doctor turned and strode off.

Grant was struggling to catch his breath, a hand on his aching side. He watched the Doctor vanish down the corridor and turned to Jason. "Can I…ask you something?" he said hesitantly.

"Oh, Grant!" the Alterran exclaimed. "After what I've just told you, you can ask me anything."

There was a long pause. "How did you meet the Doctor?"

Jason rolled his eyes and groaned, vividly recalling his first encounter with the Time Lord's fourth incarnation and the adventure that followed. "You want the whole story or just the edited highlights?" he asked.

Grant gave him a quizzical look. "Which is easiest to tell?"

Jason beamed at him. "That's a very diplomatic answer. I am suitably impressed," he observed as he got to his feet and began clearing away the dishes. "I'll tell you what. I'll tell you my story if you tell me yours. I guarantee, after you hear mine, you won't think you're bad luck anymore."

"So it's dinner and a bedtime story," Grant remarked, getting to his feet and helping to clear the table.

Jason looked at him with raised eyebrows. "I don't know. I doubt any story connected with the Doctor is likely to put anyone to sleep."