A/N: Happy B-day Roxxanne Spinner! (10th October)

This b-day drabble was written in a few hours tonight to be posted tomorrow… that is today… or whenever you read this, how would I know! It's a bit of a panic-job, but poor Roxxanne couldn't get her wish to me any sooner and I didn't check Email yesterday, so… but here it is!

Genre: oh… fluff. Yeah. Fluff. and fun… and a little smex… ;)

Relaxing Weekend

"Quick!" Robin pulled Slade into an alley so hard the man's feet actually left the ground.

"What is it? Horny again?" the man smirked.

"No, I thought I saw Bruce!" Robin hissed. "Damn, I should never have agreed to this!"

"A romantic weekend with me, away from your annoying team?" the man asked dryly.

"No, a romantic weekend with you, away from my annoying team, to Gotham!" Robin groaned. "Why the hell did I let you bring me here? If Bruce finds out I'm dating someone from the 'wrong side' he'll skin me alive!"

"It's a very big city, Robin."

"Yes, but still!"

"And he's only one man."

"Pffttt… he's Batman!" the teen snorted.

"You're such a fan boy…" the man chuckled. "You must even have heard the man fart, and you still think he's god…"

"Well, I've heard you have diarrhea…" the teen pointed out with a cheeky grin.

"Point taken. Remind me not to let people put poison in my drink again. I just want to make sure your priorities are straight here…" the man muttered.

"Of course they are…" the teen molded himself to the man and looked at him over the top of his sunglasses. "You're number one, you now."

"Good."

"And number two…" the teen snickered.

"Robin…" Slade warned him.

"Don't know about the 'straight' thing, though… nope… can't help you there…"

The mercenary sighed and shook his head. The only way to shut the teen up when he got like this was to kiss him, so the man did. Repeatedly.

"So, do you think it's safe now?" he said after a while.

"Huh?"

"Do you think he's still there?" Slade clarified.

"Who?" Robin blinked. "Oh! Bruce! Yeah… It probably wasn't him… I think I'm being just a bit jumpy."

"You think?" Slade said dryly.

"Shut up," the teen muttered and blushed. "Couldn't we have gone to Paris instead? Or at least New York… Hell, I'd take Metropolis! Superman might not be thrilled but he wouldn't kill me…"

"No one will kill you," Slade said. "And you know why we are here: I need to close a few accounts if you insist that I'll only do legit missions from now on."

"And I do," Robin said firmly. "No lover of mine will kill people in his spare time."

"I never killed people in my spare time, it was my job," Slade said firmly.

"Cute. But not cute enough to get you laid…" the teen smirked.

"Did I tell you that I plan to rescue a cat in a tree next week?" the man grinned.

"Awww… that's more like I want to hear…" the hero admitted

"Yes, that damn thing has been stuck in the tree outside my apartment for days… it's driving me insane with its wailing…" the man explained.

"Why I ever let you get to first base with me I just don't know…" the teen sighed darkly.

"Because I haven't shot the cat yet?"

"Yeah… wait! What do you mean 'yet'?"

"How else are you supposed to get a cat out of a tree?" the man asked innocently.

The couple bickered lovingly for some time, while visiting a few banks and then some slightly more romantic places like the art history museum. From time to time Robin would tense and get a panicked expression on his face when he thought he saw Bruce. At one point a pigeon flew right above his head and Slade was sure the young man would get a heart attack.

"You are eighteen, Robin. Not four and I'm not a cookie you have just stolen from the cookie jar…" the man told him in the end.

"Oh, but you are… a huge, delicious forbidden cookie…" the teen snickered. "Oh, and I don't mean the drug-kind…"

"Oh, but I can make you see fireworks and take away your ability to speak coherently…" the man smirked.

The hours just flew by and suddenly Slade checked the time.

"I have reserved a table at The Riviera at eight… we should go back to the hotel and change."

"Oh, that's a nice place… I've heard a lot about it… never been, though," Robin smiled.

"Well, I didn't want to treat you to a kebab on the corner…" Slade chuckled, and got a kiss as thanks.

The kissing was picked up again in the elevator up to their room, and continued into the shower, until Slade gently but firmly pushed Robin away.

"We're going to be late… But I do hate myself right now," he said.

"Makes two of us…" Robin pouted.

"I guess we could skip dinner," the man shrugged. "Order room service…"

Robin hesitated but then squared his shoulders.

"No. You've gone to all the trouble with getting us a table, and I know it must have been trouble since there's a waiting-list as long as your… errmm… leg?" the teen had happened to glance down and seemed to be losing focus.

"That's not my leg you are looking at," Slade pointed out. He knew his own anatomy, after all.

"Mmm… oh… yeah… right… I… fuck…"

"So no restaurant?" the man wanted to clarify.

"Wha-? Oh, yes! YES to the restaurant. No to the fooling around. We'll have the whole night when we get back, after all."

"Do you mind me turning on the cold water, then?" Slade asked.

"Please do," Robin begged.

When they arrived at the fancy place, Robin having spent half the cab-ride there glancing nervously up at the night sky, they were seated immediately. The hero started to suspect that Slade might have threatened to kill someone instead of simply going to 'a bit of trouble' but he didn't care. The restaurant was fantastic, and, as he had told the man in the car, the best thing was that Bruce would most likely be up there running across rooftops at this very moment.

The menu was very hard to choose from, but with the help of an excellent waiter they picked out a three course meal. Despite the cold water, however, some, or most, of Robin's urges was still there. He began to toe flirt with Slade a bit even before they had gotten any water on the table.

The man had ordered wine with their food. Robin was too young, but had a fake IDready if it was asked for. It wasn't. They didn't drink often, only in places like this, and Robin knew he would have more water than wine anyway.

The first course was fantastic. They both had the same food, but Slade still fed him a shrimp from his fork, which Robin couldn't help but treat in a way that made the shrimp happy it died, just to be able to be a part of that moment.

"We should have eaten whole bananas…" the man said quietly, making Robin burst out in a short snort of a chuckle. That laugh turned into a gasp of pure terror, however, and the young man paled until his face was grey.

"P-please tell me Bruce didn't just walk in," he whispered.

"Of course he didn-" Slade started but followed the teen's line of vision and fell quiet.

"He… might not come this way…" Robin whispered.

"The only free table is the one next to us," Slade pointed out in a very, very calm voice. The kind of voice which actually spoke of panic.

"I'm hiding under the table!" Robin groaned.

"The hell you will… because if he sees you come out from under there…" The man didn't finish the sentence but Robin could picture the scene vividly.

"What is he even doing here?" Robin groaned. Bruce was still in the door to the dining-area waiting for someone who was in the foyer. The person in question just then showed herself, taking Bruce's offered arm, and Robin's jaw almost hit the table.

"Well, well, well… look at that…" Slade purred. "The bat and the cat…"

"That's… that's…"

"Selina Kyle, I know," Slade said. "I almost hit that once."

"I… what?"

"Long before us."

"I… I… okay, but you are way too old to say 'hit that'," Robin muttered.

"Hmm… must think of another way to tell people I'm fucking you then…" Slade grinned cheekily.

That moment Bruce spotted him.

The guardian and his ward had matching skin-colors for a while. Robin then saw that Selina and Slade wore matching grins.

"Ro-Richard?" Bruce hissed. He had completely left the poor waiter in his wake, and Selina had had no choice but to follow as she was attached to his arm. The fact that the Dark Knight had almost slipped up with the name told Robin how shocked, and probably outraged, the man was.

"Hi Bruce…" Robin whispered.

"Sir… thi-this here is your table…" the waiter tried to butt in gesturing at it weakly.

"Yes, thank you," Bruce said and waved him away. The servant seemed grateful to escape the weird atmosphere. Robin wished he could go with him.

"Well, hello… the little birdy with… Slade Wilson… hmm… what a cradle robber you are, Slade…" Selina smirked.

"Well, I learned that pussies have claws…" the man smirked back. "And then I remembered the one about candy and babies…"

"Slade!" Robin hissed.

"Oh, he's just trying to shock Bruce…" Selina giggled. "Or give him a stroke…" she added thoughtfully as she saw her date's expression.

"Slade…" Bruce growled.

"Bruce," the other man replied calmly. "May I recommend the 'Delights of the Sea' for starters?"

"This is unacceptable," Bruce continued in a voice which made Robin grow cold.

"It really is," Slade said. "You, showing up with a simple thief like that. You should be ashamed of yourself."

"Oh, god, we're all gonna die…" Robin whimpered.

"Silly little Dick," Selina laughed. "We're going to have a nice date. Each. Come Bruce, leave the boy's alone."

"But-"

"Yes, your grown ward is dating a dirty mercenary more than twice his age. They are probably fucking too. Problem?"

"Yes there's a problem!" the millionaire hissed.

"Mind to name one? One where you won't come across as a hypocrite?" the woman grinned.

"Slade is… Robin is… They… Robin is not old enough to drink!" the man eventually growled.

"Touché. You've been a bad boy, Slade, seducing his innocence like that. Because I'm sure Dick haven't snuck sips of champagne since he was twelve."

"Ten," Robin shrugged.

"Dick!"

"Come on, I've never actually been drunk! Okay… that first time… a waiter had left a tray of glasses on a table during one of your parties and… well… I was curious! Alfred saw me by the third glass and sent me to bed…"

"I'll have a talk to that man…" Bruce growled.

"Yes, blame this on Al," Robin said dryly.

"I'd rather blame it on Slade, actually," the man confessed.

"I had a feeling you would," the mercenary sighed. "So… you want to take this outside now, or after dinner?"

"No one is going outside!" Robin growled. "Bruce, Selina is right, you can really forget about any high horses here, and I'm out on a very nice dinner with my date. And I don't know about you, of course, but I'm really hoping to get lucky tonight, and I don't want that interrupted by anything, understood?"

"I… I…" the man stammered.

"Come on, honey, don't get in any fights, or you won't get lucky tonight," Selina said and dragged the man away.

"I still think we're dead," Robin mumbled.

"Then let's enjoy our last meal…" Slade chuckled and raised his glass.

Robin laughed softly and did the same.

"All right…"

"Good. And I'm glad you interrupted the challenge, by the way…"

"Oh? You don't think you could have beaten him?" Robin asked in surprise. It wasn't like Slade to doubt himself… in any situation.

"Please!" the man snorted. "It was just that after your little footsie-performance, I was still half hard."

"Slade!" Robin gasped and then snickered loudly.

"Are you ready for the main course, gentlemen?" the waiter suddenly asked beside them.

"Yes, please," Slade nodded and soon the plates arrived smelling so wonderful that Robin actually managed to forget about their neighbors. Fortunately the tables weren't very close together, giving them a bit of privacy. The teen's foot soon found Slade's leg again.

"This city might have been your worst idea ever, but this weekend wasn't… can we do it again soon?" Robin asked after a while.

"Of course. Any time you want. Or I might have to kidnap you… again…"

"Mhmm… maybe we could play a bit of Master and Apprentice?" the teen grinned.

"You shock me, young man!" Slade exclaimed in a mock voice. "But I should have known it…"

"Oh, it didn't do anything for me back then, trust me," Robin snorted. "But its like rape-fantasies I guess… no one wants it to actually happen to them, but, unless you've been a victim, it can be really hot to think about…"

"For your information, I'm going to tie you up when we get back to our room," Slade told him in a level voice.

"Really?"

"Oh yes."

"I knew there was a reason I'm dating you," Robin snickered. "Now you have to excuse me, though… need to pay a visit to the men's room."

"If you jack off in there, you'll be wearing a cock-ring for the rest of the trip," the man warned him in a whisper.

"I'll be good… Master," Robin whispered back as he passed the man.

Robin had finished relieving himself and was washing his hands as Slade appeared in the door.

"What took you so long?" the teen smirked.

"I had to... compose myself…" Slade admitted reluctantly.

"I'm so glad to be your only weakness…" Robin snickered as he wound his arms around the man's neck and stood up on tip-toes to kiss him.

Soon he was pushed against the wall, being kissed senseless again, and the man didn't stop at his mouth. The teen was very hot already, as public places was another one of his secret little fantasies, and the man had barely put his hand down the front of his trousers before he came.

"That was quick…" Slade smirked.

"You better be too," Robin whispered and sank down on his knees.

Slade was quick, for once, and that was lucky, because the teen had barley gotten back to his feet when the door opened.

"Hi Bruce," Robin repeated faintly.

"Your dessert is melting…" the millionaire growled.

"Oh, that's alright…" Slade said as he passed the man, an arm around his date's waist. "Robin just had some cream."

And then they ran.

The End

A/N: hope you enjoyed it! I think I've ended a drabble in a similar way before, but, once Slade said that line… well… there was nothing for it, really… they HAD to get the hell out of there, or this story would have turned tragic... ; )

Roxxanne provided the prompts: Slade and Robin in a nice restaurant when Bruce and Selina walks in… and bathroom-sex… ;) Sorry there was no time to really expand on any smut..

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