A/N: Happy B-day phoenix509! (22nd of October)

Wow, two people's b-days (that I know of/who has wished for stuff) are today, so check out dA as well, because there will be art posted there for the other birthday girl! ;)

This is a drabble though, (duh!). I should be safe to read for everyone involved… more cracky than fluffy, but then again, a certain thief plays a big part… ;) hope you like it!

Playing Cupid

Red X was sitting comfortable on a beam high above Slade's lair, presumably out of reach, watching the man work.

"You work too much you know…" he told the mercenary.

"You still here?" Slade muttered.

"You still rude?"

"You still alive?"

"Point taken."

"Finally."

"But you do! All work and no play makes Slade a dull boy… you need to get laid," the thief concluded.

"Are you offering?"

"No, I'm straight this month."

"Excuse me?" Slade actually turned his head and looked up at him.

"You do the bisexual thing your way and I do it mine, okay?"

"Yes, trust me; I'm not getting involved in that…" Slade muttered, turning back and carefully putting away another finished circuit board.

"You ought to find someone, though… someone that would get involved…" the thief said thoughtfully.

"Stay out of my sex-life, Red, or you'll become part of a snuff-sex fantasy I've been thinking about…" the man warned him.

"Good thing I know your joking-face…" the teen grinned.

"I'm standing with my back to you," the man pointed out.

"Right… well, anyway… Oh! I know someone!"

"What?"

"Someone who'd be perfect for you! He gets involved more than anyone! It's like his life's mission!"

"What are you blabbering about?" Slade knew he could just shoot the annoying teen at any time, but that also made it easier to stand him, strangely enough.

"Robin!"

"Robin?"

"You know him… short-ish… very cute… wears a cape…"

"Yes, I am perfectly aware who Robin is, but why in the world would you think he'd be 'perfect' for me?"

"Well, he's bi… Speedy told me… and he'll keep you on your toes… and it would distract him a bit, which I wouldn't mind right now if you know what I mean?"

"Another famous jewelry collection in town?"

"Could be, could be…" the thief shrugged. "Sooo… you're gonna ask him out, right?"

"No."

"But-"

Slade reached for a holster and Red decided it was time to go. Give up; no. Go; yes. He slipped out through a window not far from the beam he had been sitting on.

Robin woke up by a previously never heard sound; someone was knocking on his windowpane.

He quickly threw on his mask and a robe over his sleeping pants and went to investigate.

"You?" he asked grumpily as he opened the window.

"Why isn't anyone ever happy to see me?" Red X complained, managing to look hurt despite his mask.

"If you're looking for Speedy, he's back in Steel City…" Robin let him know.

"Oh, I'm not, I'm straight this month," the thief said.

"Excuse me?"

"Man, that's scary… you even sound the same…" Red muttered. "Yeah, well, it's my sex-life, kid, I'll deal with it… now; I'm here about something much more interesting."

"And what's that?"

"Your sex-life."

"Get out or I'll arrest you," Robin informed him coldly.

"For what, I haven't stolen anything!"

"For breaking and entering."

"You let me in!"

"Ah… Well, for disturbing the peace, then. I was sleeping."

"I can see that, you have lovely bed-head… and pajama-pants. Superman-logos, kid? Really?"

"It was a gift," Robin muttered and closed the robe tighter. "Well, get out!"

Then Red X said something that could make any teen, and most adults too, pay attention.

"I know someone who likes you."

"Yeah sure… who?" the hero demanded to know.

"Oh… he's special…" the thief grinned.

"A name would be good… unless it's a joke, which I expect it is," the hero said dryly.

"Nope. No joke. I'm just playing cupid here… I'm being nice since I'm bored from having been so good lately and not stolen, or planned to steal, anything and such…"

"… he said with the sincerity of a fox in a chicken coop…" Robin muttered.

"Hey, don't hurt my feelings or I won't tell you who he is!" Red X exclaimed.

"Fine!" Robin gave up and plopped down on his bed. "Who is this special guy?"

"Well, what do you want to know about him?" the thief asked.

"Is he our age?"

"Nope, older…"

"How much?"

"Belongs to the over twenty crowd… don't know the exact number actually…" Red X said honestly, although the 'over twenty' was maybe a rather low age-range.

"But you know him?"

"Yeah, I've spent some time with him… no funny business, though."

"Oh?"

"Nah, I think he's waiting for Mister Right or something… I'm much more of a 'Mister Right Now' kinda guy."

"Speedy will be so thrilled to hear that…"

"No, don't tell him! I loooove him! Only in a platonic way this month, but in two weeks…"

"I'd like to slice up your brain one day…" Robin sighed and shook his head.

"Oh? You know about brain science and stuff?" Red asked.

"Nope. Just want to slice it up."

"Scary. Another thing you have in common…" the thief nodded. "Oh, well, what else do you want to know?"

"Well… what does he do for a living?"

"Oh… he's… an entrepreneur…" X claimed.

"That's what you call yourself sometimes! Is he a thief? Because thanks but no thanks!"

"Of course he's not! He's so much more!" Red said and then hesitated. "Wait, did I just insult myself?"

"What do you mean 'more'?" Robin blinked.

"Ah, forget that one, okay? He's tall, he's very handsome, although you wouldn't know that, and-"

"Wait… of course I wouldn't know that… unless I did know him… but not his face…" Robin's eyes narrowed. "You can't mean…?"

"Okay, okay, it's Slade! Slade has a huge crush on you, okay? Thinks you're amazing… smart and sexy and… well, he goes on and on… Think I heard him use 'soul mate' one time, but…"

"Slade? SLADE-Slade?" Robin gaped.

"No, the other Slade," Red said dryly.

"Slade doesn't like me…" Robin snorted and crossed his arms.

"Does too! And what's not to like? You're hot as hell; I'd do you if I weren't' straight… and you weren't so uptight and stuff, but Slade likes that crap… I mean…those qualities… He says so all the time… you know… How your maturity and sense of responsibility is impressing and stuff…"

"He does? No… No, he doesn't and besides, I don't like him!"

"Oh, you think he's hot, don't you? I mean, you haven't seen his face, but I'm telling you… classic movie star… no stupid Justin Bieber doll face, but real manly… rugged… but maybe that's not your type…" the thief shrugged. "That voice, though… you must admit it's sexy!"

"Yeah… well… okay, it's sexy and he's built like- but there's no way…" Robin mumbled.

"Ah.. okay… I'll tell him then… "

"No! No, I don't want you to tell him anything, you hear me?" Robin growled.

It was a huge blunder on Slade's part, because when Red X got back to the man's lair, the window was still open.

"Hi, Slade-"

The bullet hit the wall about an inch from Red's head.

"Hey, stop kidding around; I need to tell you something important!"

This time the bullet actually grazed the side of the thief's mask.

Red X closed his eyes, sent a little prayer to some higher power, and spoke as quickly as he could.

"I know someone who likes you!"

A third bullet was not fired.

The next day the Titans were chasing some actual honest-to-god ninja monkeys, when they happened to run into Slade. The rest of the team, used to Robin yelling the man's name and blindly chasing after him, were rather surprised when the two enemies both stopped like they had run into a wall, stared at each other for almost a full minute, and then left in opposite directions.

"Hey, dude, aren't you gonna chase him?" Beast Boy asked, gaping and wide eyes.

"I… just focus on the ninja monkeys!" Robin hissed.

That night Robin was slightly less surprised by the knock on the window.

"What now?" he hissed as he slid open the window-pane, but he also stepped to the side without being prompted to.

"He wants to see you."

"Yeah, right… saw him today… he didn't say anything…" Robin muttered. "Not that I care, or anything…"

"He couldn't! Not in front of your friends!" Red improvised. "He wanted to give you a sign, like a wave or something, but he knew your team would harass you about it, so…"

"Fine, whatever…" Robin shrugged. "But… he… wants to see me?"

"He jogs in the park every night at ten… no mask, but white hair and black eye-patch, you couldn't miss him if you tried…"

"White hair?"

"It came with his powers, he's not that old…" Red unknowingly lied.

"So… the park?"

"Yeah, he said that if you were interested, maybe you could go jogging too… you know… incognito?"

"What, he wants me to show up unarmed? Yeah, that's gonna happen!" Robin snorted.

"Kid, you have a stick! Facing Slade with a stick is being unarmed…" Red X exclaimed. "And what kind of a love life do you have when you have to show up to a date with weapons, huh? But sure… bring the artillery… but maybe you should say hi before you kill him…"

"… wasn't gonna…" Robin mumbled. "Right. Fine. If, and I say if I feel like it, I'll jog in the park tomorrow to. At ten. But I'll be wearing my mask."

"You can't do that; you'll stand out like crazy! Besides, Slade already knows your true identity…"

"What? Has he told you too?" Robin gaped, his face pale.

"Nope. He said he'd take your secret to the grave with him and would never, ever use it against you or the ones you care about," Red said haughtily.

"He did? Wow… that's… that's rather noble of him…" Robin blinked.

"That's Slade... really noble and shit…" Red shrugged, his inspiration for classy speech running out quickly. He had no idea playing Cupid would be this tiring.

"So, big guy, got you a date! He'll be jogging in the park tomorrow at ten PM if you're interested…" Red said cockily as he plopped down on the windowsill.

"That's when I usually run," Slade pointed out.

"Yeah, duh! I told him that and he was all 'oh, maybe I'll do that too, and we might bump into each other like it was a coincident…'" Red said.

"Oh?"

"Yes, and he won't even wear his mask, to show you he's serious… and trust you…"

"Really now?"

"Err… yeah, Um… Slade, you know all about who he really is and stuff already, right?"

"No, no clue. Seems like I will find out tomorrow, though…"

"Oh… okay... but… like if you found out and things didn't work out between you, you would never like… use it for evil or anything, right?"

"Of course I would."

"But… but… like… you can't wear your mask tomorrow either, so…" the thief tried.

"So? I have no one to protect. Robin, however, has Batman… I can't believe he would really be so careless…"

"It's because of love!" Red cried out, in an explosion of creativity. "He's reaching out to you! He's making himself vulnerable so you can take the protective role, and be like the bigger man and all noble and so on..."

"Noble?"

"Robin's own word! He said he thought you were that… like a man of his word, you know? Cross my heart and hope to die!" Red signed an 'X' over the already existing symbol on his chest.

"Interesting."

"Yeah, so you can't go all 'I'm gonna sell your secret to the highest bidder' on him, got it?"

"Far be it from me to disappoint a young man who thinks so highly of me…" the mercenary smirked.

"Oh… good… good… Oh, and tomorrow… well, you've been enemies for a while and, he wants to trust you and stuff, but he's very shy too, so… well, if he seems a little off-putting, don't let that deter you, okay? Just… like… go for it!"

"I don't think I need dating advice from a whelp like you…" Slade snorted.

"Okay, fine! Well… have a nice time tomorrow, then!" Red nodded briskly.

"You're not free to go yet," the man growled.

"I…I'm not?"

"No. Which pair of sweatpants should I wear? The gray? Black? Navy? Or shorts?"

Red groaned. This was definitely too much work…

The next night Robin had been jogging for about ten minutes when he spotted a tall, wide-shouldered man in front of him with white hair. He increased his speed and glanced at him as he passed him. Eye patch. His heart raced. Eye patch and hot as hell. Red X had been right. He slowed and, cleared his throat.

"Umm… hi."

"Hello Robin," the man's voice was even better without the mask, None of the metallic tang and all of the warm, beep base. The teen felt his ears go a little red.

"So… Red said you ran here every night…"

"It's good cardio," the man said, "although with you here, it just got a lot better… quite a coincidence…"

"Yeah, well… not really…"

"I thought not," Slade sounded a little smug, which seemed strange to Robin.

"No… I mean, because you wanted to meet here…" he explained.

"I what?" Slade stopped.

"Yes, you told Red to tell me that you'd be here… so we could meet!"

"No, I told Red nothing. He told me he had told you that I jog at this time and that you wanted to meet me here," Slade growled.

"The little shit!" Robin hissed.

"He also said you were shy and to just, as he put it, 'go for it'."

"I'm going to kill him!" Robin hissed.

"Not if I do it first."

"Do you know where he is?"

"No, but he's bound to stop by my place later, to see how things went… we could be there waiting for him?" Slade suggested.

"In…your place?" Robin said uncertainly.

The man pulled him into the light from a street light and tilted his head up so he could see the teen's face clearly.

"I think we both can trust each other with our secrets… can't we? Shall we call a complete truce for now... it only for tonight?"

"I… yes… okay," Robin said, and, as they both noticed, didn't pull away until Slade, seemingly reluctantly, let him go.

As they were out jogging, it seemed silly to simply walk back, so they ran.

Robin looked around very curiously as they entered the outwardly run down industrial building, to find a perfectly up to date lab and work area, combined with a living-area which wasn't too shabby either.

"I usually run for an hour and he'll be later than that so I wouldn't expect him for about an hour and a half…" Slade said. "So make yourself comfortable. I'm going to take a shower."

"Oh, that sounds-" Robin started, taking a step as if to follow the man, before catching himself.

"Yes?" Slade asked.

"I… well, it sounded good, but I don't have any fresh clothes here, so…"

"I have some you can borrow," the man told him. "They would be a bit big, but if we put yours in the washer at once, they'd be ready before you leave. I'm washing mine anyway…"

Robin hesitated, but he could smell himself, and this might not be a date, but still…

"That would be great, thank you… umm... after you?"

"When I moved in here I renovated the staff's shower-room, so there's room for you too… there's cubicles… if you really are shy?" the man grinned.

Robin recognized a challenge when it was slapped in his face, and accepted it.

"No, I have no problem with that… it's… convenient…" he lied.

"Very well, follow me…" the mercenary leered.

The shower room was completely tiled and still had the locker-room look with the stalls still in place as Slade had said. A few of them were occupied, one holding a washer and dryer, another one other utensils, but three were free for use.

Robin tried to act completely unconcerned as he quickly slipped out of his clothes and into a stall. Slade didn't have to act. He unhurriedly collected their clothes and put them in the washer together with other items from a hamper.

"Here's a couple of towels for you," the mercenary then said and placed two folded up ones on the bench running opposite the stalls, another left over from the rooms original use, Robin guessed.

"Thanks," the teen nodded, keeping his back to the man, as the stalls didn't have doors. And then, because he thought he needed to keep some sort of conversation going, he tried to think of something to say. "It's a bit weird, you know… you with a washing-machine…"

"What am I supposed to do? Go down to the water and beat my clothes with a rock?" the man chuckled.

Robin laughed a little, feeling more confident now as Slade had disappeared into the stall next to him.

"No, I just… well… so is there a special program on it for Kevlar-mix?" he joked.

"Yeah… takes half a bottle of softener, though…" the man replied, making the teen laugh again.

"Oh, can I borrow some shampoo?" Robin asked as he looked around and couldn't find any. Not surprisingly the man kept it in the stall he usually used.

"You can keep it too… don't need t back," the man smirked and placed a bottle on the partition between them. "It's only the generic body soap and shampoo-stuff I'm afraid."

"I use this brand too," Robin discovered as he saw the bottle. "I like the smell." He blushed a little. Discussing scents with a mercenary? What next? Curtains? "Um… yeah, so… about Red X… I hope you understand that I don't actually want him dead?"

"I thought not," Slade grumbled. "So what do you want to do?"

"I have no idea… but I wouldn't mind scaring the crap out of him somehow…" Robin muttered.

"We'll think of something… together we have more IQ than his entire family collectively, going back three generations …"

"Four…" Robin corrected. "Red X actually comes in at a negative number…"

When he was finished and had quickly grabbed a towel to wrap around his hips, Robin decided that, all in all, it hadn't been much worse than any public shower room. Slade led him out of the room and across the hall to another door. When Robin entered that one his heart did a little quick-step dance. It was the man's bedroom.

The large bed had its sheets crumpled and thrown back, and the hero swallowed because he could just picture the man between them… naked… beckoning for Robin to join him…

"There's a pile of clean clothes over there, see if you find something to wear," Slade said, cruelly pulling him out of his little fantasy. Robin, who had dried himself with a second towel as they walked, grabbed the top item and pulled it on. A long-sleeved white shirt which reached his knees. After buttoning it up he saw a pair of underwear and pulled those on too, but after taking one step, they promptly feel from his narrow hips and almost tripped him up.

Slade, having seen it all, burst into laughter, while Robin turned bright red.

"I don't think I have anything that would fit you, I'm afraid… but that shirt is long enough. The washer is on a short program, it won't be long," the man told him, trying not to laugh after getting a glare from the teen.

"Fine…" Robin muttered.

Slade had put on a pair of jeans and a tank top. Robin wished he would have just worn bulky sweats, because it should be illegal for a man to look that good. Slade seemed to have similar thoughts himself, however.

"On the other hand maybe I shouldn't give you your clothes back… you look quite delectable like that…"

"Very funny…" the teen mumbled, pulling the shirt tighter to his body.

"Not funny at all. I did go out there tonight to see you, after all… it would be strange if I did that without finding you attractive… and out of your ordinary clothes, and without your mask… you are even more so…" the man purred.

"Um, yeah, let's stop admire each other and go wait for Red, shall we?" he said, suddenly very nervous.

"Of course," the man said and led him out into the main room again, gesturing to three-seat sofa, facing a wall made up of TV-screens. "Make yourself comfortable… and please explain what you mean by admiring each other…"

"Right… what's on TV?" the teen asked, suddenly very interested in the remote control he had found on the sofa, and pretended not to have heard the man. He pressed the 'on' button and the screens lit up showing different news-channels from all over the world. "Oh, cool…" Robin blinked, the screens now actually having his attention, and sat down. Slade did too, not leaving much space between them.

The sofa, being leather, felt cold against his skin after the shower, and Robin pulled his legs up under him to gain some heat.

"Cold?" Slade asked.

"I'm okay…" Robin shrugged.

"One moment…"

The man got up, disappeared for a minute and came back with a blanket. He sat down again, turning to Robin and wrapped the blanket tightly around his shoulders. The man didn't let go, though, and the teen's heart raced again.

"I'm going to kiss you now," Slade just informed him as a matter of fact and pulled him closer, using the blanket.

"…kay…" Robin mumbled and then their lips met.

Red X, having taken a quick look through the park and found nothing, decided to check Slade's lair. He hoped he wouldn't be seeing bloody chopped up pieces of Robin.

As he peeked through the window and down into the lair, however, he saw a few body-parts but they were all very much connected to their original owner. It was a bit hard to make sure, though, as the two owners were very much entwined on the couch.

Red grinned. He knew playing Cupid would pay off, and he bet the hero would have other things on his mind now than some diamonds disappearing. He snickered and turned away. He might have stayed and watched, but the things happening below weren't something he wanted to see… after all; he was straight this month.

The End

A/N: there I hope you enjoyed it! I did… it was funny to write Red X as 'just' an outside meddler… ;) Aaaaanyway, the X-mas drabbles are finished as those of you who are member of the facebook duckling group knows. You also know that I started work this Friday, instead of in two weeks, so suddenly I am too busy again… I'll still have time to do everything I've promised, but that's pretty much it, I'm afraid… Now it's back to writing on weekends again… but since I spent weeks doing little more than writing, work is a nice break… ;)

/W

EDIT April 2013: I noticed that ff had mashed together some of the italic words in this story, so I fixed that. Also fixed a few typos along the way when I spotted them.