Disclaimer: The usual, I don't own ER, but I REALLY wish I did!

Summary: He couldn't understand when his life had gone so wrong.

Author Note: This has nothing to do with my other fic,

"Another Dawn, Another Day"

He really couldn't understand when his life had gone so wrong.

Was it when Danijela, Jasna and Marko were taken from him when the artillery shell hit the apartment, destroying everything he ever knew, and everyone he ever loved?

Was it when he left Croatia, the memories slowly killing him, and finally succeeding, because when he finally came to America he was not the same man that married his wife, read to his children, and comforted them when they cried. No, nobody needed him now.

Was it when Abby and him were on their first date and the mugger hit him over the head, when he got back up, the need to protect Abby, he could have stopped hitting the muggers head when he went limp, but he couldn't stop himself, was he blinded by rage, taking out all the anger he had for the people that killed his family on him.

He remembered standing outside the trauma room, the detective looking him in the eye, telling him it was self defence……anyone who was there that night would have known it was NOT self defence, but what did it matter, that mugger was a nobody, with no name.

He remembered how he spent the next day at the police station trying to find out who the mugger was, if he could find family. He remembered the sense of guilt and shame that had clenched his soul when he stood looking over the lifeless body, the fist as tight around his soul now as it was then.

He remembered how Kerry Weaver told him he couldn't just not show up for work, he didn't care, looking back now he didn't know why he went back the next day.

He remembered how Abby came to his hotel room, told him to be quiet and spent the night in his bed, thinking now, probably out of pity.

Was it when Abby and him had that ugly break-up, him saying she was nothing special, her telling him he was married to a ghost. What hurt him more than hating him for not hating his wife was Abby in the arms of John Carter.

So here he stood, at the admit desk watching as a man, in his mid-thirties came into the ER brandishing a gun, blaming him and Carter for letting his daughter die. He stood about 10 feet away from Carter and himself and slowly aimed the gun at Carter, an din that second a million thoughts ran through Luka's mind, but 2 stood out above all else…

Carter has Abbey, she needs him, I'm not needed, and anyway if anything happens I'll be with my family again…

Before it even registered in his mind what he was doing, he pushed Carter out of the way and felt an agonizing pain in his chest before his body fell to the ground with a dull thud…

ABBY'S P.O.V

All I could see was the gun pointed at John and Luka, I was about to call out for the lunatic to stop but before I had my mouth open Luka was pushing Carter out of the way as soon as the gunman shot…I thought he was Okay but he wavered and fell to the ground, I tried to scream but stood frozen still and all I could do was watch as Carter and Benton ran over to help him, please God let him be Okay these last few months I've noticed a change in him, and not a good one, he seemed to not be taking care of himself, he's lost a lot of weight, and appeared more distant at work, maybe after this I can help him,

Carter and Benton ran over and turned Luka over as he had fell on his side.

His scrub top was already soaking with blood, lying in a pool around his motionless body; his eyes were shut tight and a pained expression on his pale face.

"Hey man, come open your eyes" Benton commanded, while placing his hand on the side of Luka's face and tapping it slightly.

"uggh…" groaned Luka, and his eyes flickered under his still tightly sealed lids.

Everyone in the ER, except a few of the patients, took no notice to the police running in and tackling the gunman to the ground.

"Someone get a gurney over here!" shouted Carter from his place on the floor, looking down at the man that had sacrificed his life to save his own, he knew his was going to do everything in his power to save Luka.

Malik came running over with a gurney and Carter and Benton carefully lifted Luka off the floor and placed him on to the gurney.

"Trauma 1 Now!" shouted Benton as they wheeled the gurney down the hall.

Please R&R

Hope you enjoy!