NOTE: ff didn't feel like uploading any documents today… I hope it's just a temporary glitch… anyway, I'm going to try to just copy this into an already uploaded document and publish that… so if you read this… it succeeded… ;) Or I managed it some other way…It might mean that the title in the mail you got was wrong, though, but hey… what can you do?

A/N: Happy birthday hanakisa (January 27)! (sorry if this is late, damn ff! Gonna keep trying!

This is a CRACK story, so you can't expect any IC-ness, really… it's just for fun!

One Down

The Titan's main living room was rather quiet. The team had just come back from a mission, without Robin, who had decided to stick around the crime scene and wrap things up with the police. He would bring pizza back with him though, which was the one thing Beast Boy really cared about. The green teen was sorting through his games because Cyborg had put the wrong game in the wrong folder again, while said metal teen was at their main computer, running checks for viruses and bugs.

Starfire was reading, studying earth history, something Robin had gotten her interested in, and Raven was working on her levitation abilities, preparing a cup of tea without using her hands.

"Incoming call!" Cyborg suddenly alerted them. "From… from the Watchtower!"

A call from the Justice League's space station got everyone's attention, of course, and they flocked to the screen where, a moment later, Batman's face appeared.

"Oh, it's you," Beast Boy sighed.

"Excuse me?" the Dark Knight was not really used to that kind of greeting.

"Well, you're calling from the Watchtower… I thought it was the man of steel or something… or like… someone like the Martian Manhunter… Ow!"

"Sorry, Sir" Raven said, withdrawing the hand that had just slapped the back of her team member's head. "We try to teach him manners, but he lacks in the brain-department. Can we help you? I'm afraid Robin is out…"

"He is?"

"We can call him?" Cyborg volunteered.

"Where is he?" Batman demanded to know.

"East side of town, making sure the cops arrest the right people," Beast Boy grinned.

"Does he have his bike?"

"He does not," Starfire said, looking worried. "The news you bring us are urgent, I understand?"

"Yes. If he's so far away, there's no time to include him. Might be for the best too."

"Why?" Cyborg asked.

Batman's eyes narrowed.

"Because I've just found Slade."

"Slade? Really? We haven't really heard from him in forever!" Cyborg exclaimed. "He just went up in smoke after the Trigon-thing…"

"Told you I saw him…" Beast Boy muttered.

"But he has not been of any trouble to us," Starfire explained to the JL member. "Nonetheless his capture would surely be most welcomed!"

"Robin asked me to put him on the JL's wanted list about two years ago, when he infected you with those probes," Batman nodded. "He has been a low priority, as I was assured that you could handle him, and then we thought he had perished in the lava… however, I just had a visual of him, entering a building on the west side of the city. Transmitting image now."

"The docks? Typical," Beast Boy snorted.

"Well, Titans… looks like we are going in," Cyborg grinned and stood up.

"Not alone. I'm entering a shuttle and will be landing on your roof in under ten minutes," Batman told them. "We'll go from there. The facts I have on Slade tells me that he is too much of a threat. I'm taking charge." The screen went black and the team stared at it for a moment before Beast Boy snorted.

"Pffft… it really is a good thing Robin isn't here, then…"

"Yeah, that would have driven him up the wall…" Cyborg nodded. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

They were at Slade's secret hideout twelve minutes later, those of the newly expanded team with flight-capacity having given the others a ride to save time.

"Scanner's not picking up any alarms," Cyborg hissed to Batman, who nodded.

"We're going in quietly, I expect him to have escape-routes planned, don't want him to know we're here until he's cornered."

"Got it, eyes and ears open, people…"

Batman picked the lock with ease and the team slipped inside the dark, dank place, finding a maze of corridors and rooms instead of an open warehouse.

"Picking up his scent… this way," Beast Boy pointed before turning back to a blood hound again. A bit further down the hall, the dog cocked his head, seemingly listening, and then the teen changed back again.

"I hear yelling, something's going on!"

"Hurry, he might be hurting someone right now!"

As they got closer, they could all hear desperate wails coming from behind a closed door.

"No time to lose," Batman growled and kicked the door down.

This was really not how Robin wanted to be found. The teen grabbed some sheets to cover himself as he straddled his secret lover.

"If this is going to turn into a fight, can I come first?" Slade asked.

"R-Robin?" Batman lost much of his usual composure.

"Errr… hi?" the teen said. "Umm… so… watcha doin?"

"We came to apprehended Slade, but we can see you have already defeated him!" Starfire smiled.

"Is that what we can see?" Cyborg asked. "Because when we came in, I thought I could see Slade's- OW! Raven!"

"That man is a wanted criminal!" Batman growled.

"Um… no?" Robin objected, quietly wondering if, and how, he could get off the rod stuck up his ass.

"He's on the Justice League's wanted list!" his mentor almost yelled.

"I… oooohhh… yeah… I forgot about that… well… you can take him off it now…?" Robin suggested.

"About getting off…" Slade muttered.

"Oh, sorry, should I?" Robin asked, looking down at the man.

"No, I was talking about me… feel free to try, though; that might help."

"I don't know about you guys, but this looks a bit gay to me…" Beast Boy said. "Whaaat? It does!" he defended himself when he got a few looks.

"Shut up, grass-stain… how come you didn't smell Robin out there, huh?"

"I came in through a window," the black haired teen shrugged.

"Has anyone considered leaving?" Raven asked.

"The girl has some good ideas," Slade admitted.

"But what about the handcuffs?" Starfire wanted to know.

"Another good one… amazing, I always thought your team was rather useless," Slade smirked.

"Guys, I think leaving is a good idea," Robin said.

"You must be wanted for something, Slade! I'll be back!" Batman snarled and turned around. "And you and me will have a long talk, young man," he added to Robin, before he stomped out.

"He has nothing on me, he screws cat-burglars," Robin grinned down at Slade.

"We'll… be going as well…" Raven said.

"Yeah, and we might need a word too, man…" Cyborg said, dragging an confused Starfire with him. As the doorframe emptied, Robin drew a long, deep breath and wriggled a little.

"Now… where were we?" he leered.

"Hey, Robin!" Beast Boy had stuck his head around the door again.

"Yes, BB?" Robin asked with all the patience he could muster.

"You won't forget the pizza, right?"

The End

A/N: I know you could see it coming… I just couldn't figure out a way to hide it better, I mean, with Robin missing, and Slade being sneaky… well, if I surprised just ONE of you, I will be happy… Still, I hope it was worth the read for the rest of you… ;) The wish was for Batman and the Titans (originally the JL, but I ducked out of that one ;) ) to storm Slade's base and find Robin and Slade in bed together...;) ..and now I want pizza…