Chapter 3

BPOV

I was one of the lucky ones. I didn't have to worry about where I would live or who my roommate would be. My parents decided that I'd done well enough the past two years, and now that I was a junior in college, I deserved some freedom.

So, they were footing the bill for a spacious two-bedroom apartment for Rose and me. We didn't throw wild parties or get drunk every night. The most we did was binge watch Netflix and drink cheap wine. Occasionally, Emmett would spend the night, and if we went out, sometimes, I'd bring a guy home with me. But really, we were pretty chill.

"Emmett's bringing a friend with him tonight. Is that cool?" Rose asked as she filled my wine glass.

I scrunched my nose, groaning. "Ugh, you're not trying to set me up, are you?"

"With Edward? No, he's a cool guy, but he's not your type."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Oh? And what exactly is my type?"

Rose snorted before taking a sip from her glass. "Polos and perfectly coiffed hair. A perfectly straight, bright white smile, and a trust fund."

"Wow, you make me sound like a stuck-up bitch. I'm all for a guy with some good hair, but the rest…I'm not that shallow. I don't care about money and cars."

She bumped her hip into mine. "I know, I was just teasing you because you're wearing a sweater set, and that high pony."

I frowned. "It's cropped. You can see my belly. I thought I was being a little daring today. Should I change?"

There was a knock on the door.

"Too late." Rose laughed. "Besides, you look cute. Very '90s chic."

I huffed, rolling my eyes, a sharp comeback on my tongue. But as she pulled open the door and Emmett and his friend walked in, my mouth went dry. I'd never seen a man more beautiful.

"Hey, B." Emmett scooped me up into a tight hug after he'd greeted Rose with a kiss. He set me down before turning to his friend. "This is Edward. He had nothing better to do, so he invited himself along like the loser he is."

Edward shot a glare Emmett's way, then looked in my direction. "Hey," he mumbled.

"All right, introductions are over, let's get this movie night started." Rose grabbed a bowl of popcorn off the counter and headed into the living room.

—SB—

It was maybe twenty minutes into the movie when Emmett and Rose gave up all pretenses and started making out on the couch.

The two of them were great, but they could be tough to be around since they couldn't keep their hands off each other for more than a few minutes. Or maybe it was just frustrating to me because I'd never experienced something so all consuming.

I turned toward Edward. "Um, I'm gonna go have a smoke on the balcony. Feel free—"

"You're not leaving me here with that." He pointed to the couch before jumping to his feet. "Lead the way."

"Oh, um, okay."

I grabbed my cigarettes off the coffee table and headed out onto the balcony with Edward on my heels. He pulled his own pack from his pocket, lighting one up before offering to light mine.

He took a long drag before turning to me. "I gotta say, I'm a little surprised you smoke."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

He eyed me up and down, a smile playing on his lips. "Not to be rude—"

"Anyone who says 'not to be rude' is about to be rude, so just say it. It's like when people say 'I don't want to be mean, but...' Yeah, sure you don't."

He laughed loudly, pointing at me. "I like you."

I felt myself blush at his words. "Well? Are you gonna tell me why you rudely didn't think I smoke?"

"You look a little…well, you seem like a daddy's girl. Like you never set a foot out of line and you go to church on Sunday."

I snorted quietly. "Pretty sure I smoke just to make my parents unhappy with something I do, and I haven't set foot in a church since I was sixteen. Gotta rebel." I plopped down into one of the lounge chairs.

"So, a daddy's girl with a bit of a rebellious streak. Got it." He stretched his arms out, flexing his fingers.

My eyes locked onto the intense ink that covered his forearms, leading down to the backs of his hands. "You've got a lot of tattoos," I blurted out.

"Yep."

I stepped closer to him, gazing at his arms. "They're really beautiful. Can I ask you about this one?" It was an abstract heart with what looked like someone's heart rhythm inside of it.

"That one." He ran his fingers over it, his voice suddenly quiet. "It's for my grandma. She raised me until she couldn't anymore. At the end, she had Alzheimer's. She'd call me by my dad's name on good days, on the bad ones…she didn't know who I was at all."

"That had to be rough. I'm sorry."

"Yeah."

"What's this one?" I pointed to a date on his other arm.

He grinned wildly. "You sure you wanna know, daddy's girl?" He teased, and the words warmed my belly like a good shot of whiskey.

I shrugged. "Sure."

"That's the date I lost my virginity."

"Shut up!" I shouted as he laughed.

—SB—

I woke with a start, my heart racing in my chest. It had all been so real, as if I was out there on that balcony with him again. His smile, his laugh, all the things that I had missed these last couple of years, I could still hear him, and smell the cigarette smoke on his skin.

I closed my eyes tightly, wishing I could fall back to sleep, that maybe I could be transported back there, or to another time we'd spent together.

I laid in bed for a while, thinking about how he didn't admit to me until months later that I was the first person he'd ever actually told about his grandma. He typically kept to himself, but he let his wall slip that night. In fact, over the two years that we were friends, his walls continuously slipped.

That was what had hurt the most. He'd trusted me with some of his secrets, but he hadn't trusted me enough to fully let me in. He wouldn't let me see all of him, no matter that he knew I'd never judge him. Even when I'd told him I loved him—all of him—even the parts I didn't know, it wasn't enough.

So why was I good enough now? Or maybe I wasn't. He said he wanted to know all of me, but he said nothing about letting me know all of him.

I ran my hands over my face, trying to shake off this feeling. None of it mattered, there was no us, and there never would be.

There was James and me. That was what mattered, and I'd keep telling myself that until it stuck.

What are we thinking, friends? How did you like the glimpse into their initial meeting?

Also, last chapter a few of you mentioned Edward having Bella's phone number now. They were each others first best friend in adult life for a while, he didn't take her number out of his phone.