Chapter 4
EPOV
"I saw Bella," I grunted out as I dropped the weights back down.
"Oh, yeah?"
I could tell by the tone in his voice that he already knew what I was going to say next. "You knew." I growled, stepping toward him.
Emmett raised his hands in front of him. "I don't know what you're talking about, man."
"Don't fucking lie to me. You knew she was getting married. Everyone but me knew, didn't they?"
"Esme told me," he muttered.
"Esme? She still talks to Esme? Goddamnit, my sister knew but decided to not tell me? What the fuck? You all thought it was a good idea to just let me find out on my own, in a really shitty way, no less? You know how I feel about her!"
His eyebrows raised. "Yeah, I know how you feel about her. I also know that you were a real dick to her, turning her down when she told you she wanted you. Then, every time you knew she'd be at a party, or just hanging out with us, you paraded a bunch of chicks in front of her face. So, excuse me if I don't feel like keeping you up to date on a friend you caused us all to lose. Hopefully, she has a happy life, with lots of babies."
"Fuck you, man." I spit. "I was young and stupid."
"It was two years ago!" he shouted. "You're still young, and you're definitely still stupid. That girl is too good for you. Leave it alone."
"You're right. She is too good for me. But I love her. I went to her apartment, their apartment now, I guess."
The words made my stomach turn. Thoughts of them together, cuddling, kissing—and goddamnit—fucking, in that apartment filtrated my brain.
"Fuck," he hissed. "What did you do?"
"I yelled at her, then I told her I was gonna fight for her, that I loved her."
"See? Young and stupid. So fucking stupid. You don't yell at a girl whose heart you broke and then proclaim your love. She's not going to give you the time of day if you keep acting like that."
"I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, man. But if I don't do something, I'm going to lose her forever. I wasn't ready then. My life was at a standstill. There was no way I could have taken care of her the way she deserved. But now I'm finally getting somewhere in life, doing things I only dreamed of." I glanced over at Emmett. "Her number is still the same, you know."
"Shit, you texted her? Please, tell me you didn't."
I laughed, handing him my phone. "Yeah, I might have texted her."
"Oh, God. You said she looked freshly fucked? I know I said you were stupid earlier, but I didn't think you were this level of stupid. You can't—look, Rose will have my balls for helping you, but you need a plan, man. You can't just go about this flying by the seat of your pants. It's gonna go up in flames."
"I was planning on spoiling her, showing her I can take care of her now."
He shook his head. "Ain't gonna work. Bella has been spoiled her whole life, and now she's got that hotshot fiancé. She has more stuff and money than she knows what to do with."
"Okay, then what do you suggest?" I hated the fact that I even needed his help, but I wasn't about to turn him down. He'd been with Rose for years, and I'd fucked up one of the best things I'd ever had in my life.
"She's gonna want you. That's what I learned about Bella, and I doubt it's changed over the last two years. She listens to what you have to say with rapt attention. She takes it all in, remembers the little things you tell her, like your favorite ice cream flavor, so she can surprise you. I don't think she wants to be taken care of. She wants to do the caring."
It wasn't as if I didn't know this about Bella. It was one reason I opened up as much as I had with her. I knew she was listening, that it wasn't a burden for her. Or more so, that I wasn't a burden to her.
But I was taught from a young age to keep myself guarded. So, I kept the deep dark things that plagued me locked away. I didn't want her to see me for what I was—damaged goods—and a man with a hell of a lot of baggage.
"Yeah, I'm gonna jump in the shower," I said, dropping the subject. I didn't want him to end up prying.
—SB—
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, but I was finding it difficult. Banging on the door, I yelled, "You need to open this damn door!"
The door swung open, and she stood there, hands on her hips and a frown on her face. "Well hello, brother. It's so good to see you, too."
"You knew." I pushed my way into the house.
"Sure, come in. I'm not busy or anything."
"Cut the shit, Esme. You knew, and you didn't tell me. Instead, you let me find out when they had a fuckin' party at Outlier to celebrate their engagement."
"It was none of your business. She told me, not you. And that isn't my fault, Edward."
"I didn't even know you still spoke to her."
She shrugged. "We were good friends. Everyone else just let her choose to walk away. I didn't want to lose her as a friend, so I didn't."
"I went to her apartment. I talked to her."
Esme snorted. "Did you talk to her, or did you talk at her? There's a difference, you know."
"Probably at her. But…I told her I loved her, that I wanted to fight for her."
"Oh, Edward." She sighed.
"Yeah, I know. It was pretty stupid, right?"
She shook her head, clearing her throat. "No. No, not at all. You actually put yourself out there. Maybe it wasn't the right way, but even so, I'm proud of you. It's something you never would have done before."
I rubbed the back of my neck, finding it difficult to take praise from her. But part of me knew she was right. The Edward of the past would have proclaimed nothing. Even if I did it in a shitty way, I still did it.
Every time I did something to better myself, or to create a successful life, was just a big "fuck you" to him.
"I think I messed up big time, though." I handed her my phone with the text messages open.
"Yeah. You're gonna need to apologize for that."
Well, we've heard a little from Edward now. Any thoughts on what's going on with him? What do you think of Esme?
See you guys next week with more from Edward!