Don't Close Your Eyes, a gravitation fanfic

Mika tried not to look too downcast as she ate dinner with her husband Touma Seguchi. He'd been so quiet lately, so distant. She pretended as though she didn't know the reason why, but Touma had never been very good at disguising his emotions. She'd known from the very beginning the entire reason why he'd asked her to marry him, and yet for some reason she had never even faltered when she said yes.

Things had been relatively normal for the first couple of years. They were just like any other regular married couple. It wasn't until Yuki started seeing Shuichi that everything began to change.

She had to think that she had been relatively forgiving when it came to Yuki these past several years. In fact, she had even told Shuichi that she didn't mind his relationship with him. Perhaps, she thought, that would deviate her husband's feelings for her little brother. Something had to be done. She couldn't go on living this lie that she had dealt with for so long. She could no longer pretend that she was happy with the way things were.

"I thought I might go pay Yuki a visit tomorrow," Touma said, finally looking Mika in the eye for the first time that evening. "He's been acting very depressed and dejected lately. I was thinking I might be able to get to the bottom of this if I just talk to him."

Mika nodded solemnly. "Of course. Whatever you think would do him good."

How could he not see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice, how it hurt her each and every time he made such reference to her brother? Why couldn't her husband love her? Was there something more that Yuki could give him that she could not? She simply breathed deeply to make the tears recede back into her eyelids as she rose and began to clean the kitchen.

I know you loved him
A long time ago
Even now in my arms
You still want him I know
But darling this time
Let your memories die
When you hold me tonight
Don't close your eyes

Later that evening, Mika awoke as she felt Touma crawl into bed beside her. She couldn't even feel the slightest bit happier when he put his arm around her waist and pulled her closely to him. He had told her once that he was amazed at how well she fit into the curve of his body, as if they were made from the same mold and broken apart. At the time she had thought that so romantic, and yet now she wondered if while he was holding her, he was instead thinking of Yuki. His touch was so shallow all of a sudden. It felt as if he wasn't really touching her.

"Mika," he whispered gently into her ear.

She turned to face him and replied, "Yes, Touma?"

He smiled as he gently pushed some dark russet strands from her eyes. "What's wrong? Something about you lately has been so subdued. That isn't the woman I fell in love with. Where is she?"

Where, indeed? she wondered to herself. In fact, it had never been she that she had fallen in love with, not even a woman. He had always loved Yuki, even from the very beginning. Had he really fooled himself into thinking that she was blind enough to believe that it was her and only her whom he wanted to be with right now?

"Forgive me, Touma," she whispered. "I suppose all the stress of everything that's been happening lately is starting to get to me. I haven't meant to be so distant." But you have, haven't you, Touma?

He breathed deeply as he stroked her hair and closed his eyes. She couldn't help but notice that each and every time that he made love to her…he kept his eyes closed. Was he thinking about someone else? Was he wishing that he was instead with Yuki? What was he seeing when he closed his eyes?

Don't close your eyes
Let it be me
Don't pretend it's him
In some fantasy
Darling just once
Let yesterday go
You'll find more love
Than you've ever known
Just hold me tight
When you love me tonight
And don't close your eyes

Several days later, Mika walked through the hallways of NG, looking over some things that Touma had asked her to deliver to the mail room for him. Why not? she had thought. It would at least give her a chance to get away from him for a few minutes. Then maybe she wouldn't have to think about him thinking about Yuki.

"Mrs. Seguchi," she heard a voice say behind her. She turned around to see K walking toward her with his usual swagger and mischievous smile, making her think she would draw his gun at any moment. "It's been a while since I last saw you. How have you been?"

She shrugged and said, "As well as can be expected of me, I suppose. I assume that things are going well with Bad Luck?"

"Very well," he replied. "We're releasing another CD next week, and from what I hear, Yuki has given Shuichi another incentive if he sells two million albums this time. I have to thank your brother for giving our vocalist the motivation he's needed.

She smiled, knowing that he was right. Ever since Shuichi had been with Yuki, the both of them had been oddly inspired to do their best in their respective arts. If only they knew what kind of conspiring went on against them, all at the hands of her husband.

"Mika?" K said with a furrowed brow. "Hello? What's wrong?"

Desperately in need of someone to talk to, she found herself suddenly spilling her entire soul to him, telling him everything of how she had been feeling these past several years. "Am I a fool?" she finally said when she was finished. "Am I just a ridiculous fool to keep believing that maybe I can someday make my husband love me for me and not for my brother?"

K seemed to think for several moments before he finally put a hand on her shoulder and said, "Listen to me, Mika. You deserve love just as much as anyone else. I don't doubt that Seguchi loves you, but maybe you just have to help him realize it. Don't give up. Sooner or later, he'll realize what he has with you, and then he'll forget about Yuki."

She forced a little smile and said, "Thank you, K. I'm sorry for just breaking down that way, but I've needed someone to talk to for a really long time. Thank you so much for listening…and for the little inspirational speech."

He nodded and continued on his way down the hall. Meanwhile, Mika repeated the words in her head. "Don't give up. He'll forget about you. You just have to help him realize that he loves you…"

Maybe I've been a fool
Holding on all this time
Lying here in your arms
Knowing he's in your mind
But I keep hoping some day
That you'll see the light
Let it be me tonight
Don't close your eyes

That evening, when Touma got into bed in his usual routine, Mika turned to him and put her hand on his cheek as she said with a smile, "Touma…"

He smiled as he pulled her closer and kissed her deeply. He stared at her for a moment, seeming to internally muse about her, but he soon once again closed his eyes as he moved still closer to her.

Mika stopped him where he was, however, and said, "No wait, Touma."

"What is it?" he asked with a confused expression.

She continued to smile as she whispered gently, "Don't close your eyes."